Tracing Hearts (31 page)

Sebastian

“I’m back. Did you miss me?” I perk up at the sound of Julia’s voice.

“Yes, where are you?” I stand and walk toward the sound.

“Okay, then. Let’s begin.” She sounds vaguely disappointed.

Her voice is coming from a single door, which stands at the end of a long hallway. I run to it, trying with all my might to pry open the doors. It doesn’t budge. I throw my shoulder into it several times, but I make no headway. I try again and again, to no avail. It’s stuck or locked, I don’t know which. “Open the door, Julia, I’m right here!” She says nothing. Until…

“‘Dear Sebastian, I don’t exactly know what to write to a boy, so forgive me if this sounds stupid. My name is Julia. I am a sixth grader at Huntington Middle School. That’s in America. But, of course you know that already.’”

I recognize her first letter to me instantly and somehow, it soothes my nerves. I lower myself to the floor beside the door, and listen as she reads through every word. I smile and even laugh at some parts. She was so innocent back then—we both were. The letter ends, and I feel a little less lonely.

“Read another one, please,” I say calmly, and she complies.

“‘Dear Sebastian, Thank you for writing me back! I was very happy to hear from you. I have some exciting news! My mom is having her baby tomorrow!!!! (I put extra exclamation points in there to show how happy I am to finally meet my brother or sister.) If it’s a boy, his name will be Andrew. If it’s a girl, her name will be Victoria. I don’t really like either name, but I don’t have to write it for the rest of my life, so, I guess it’s not really my problem. Maybe I’ll come up with a cleaver nickname. Now, to answer your questions…’”

I lean my head against the cold wall of the hospital hallway, and close my eyes. She reads the rest of the second letter and starts a third. I’m not sure why we can’t see each other in person, but I’ll take these moments if that’s all we have right now. I feel as though they're my lifeline.

“‘Dear Sebastian, It’s a girl! Her name is Victoria, but in taking your advice, I call her Toria. I liked all your nicknames. They were funny. I only wish I could get away with calling her Whinybutt. She’s cute, but she cries a lot, and my mom is always tired… Do you want to know what I look like? Well, I’m not going to say until you tell me. I’ve already told you my middle name without getting yours in return. The ball is in your court. I’ve gotta go. Mom wants me to start my homework. I’ll talk to you soon, since we have each other’s addresses now. Bye! Your friend, Julia Rose Bessette.’”

My middle name. I’d forgotten I’d withheld that information from her. My face splitting grin reminds me of the teasing nature of our relationship as kids. “If I ever find my way back to you, Julia, I promise to tell you what it is.”

Julia

As I exit Sebastian’s room, I walk past a group of family members gathered near the doorway of the next room over. They’re talking quietly with worried faces. And as nosy as I feel, I just can’t help but look inside. A woman sits on a chair, weeping into the hand of a young man in the hospital bed. He’s unresponsive as she talks to him. The woman glances back and our eyes meet. I give her a sympathetic smile, but her face remains frozen. When her attention is pulled back to the young man, I continue walking down the long white hallway. I push the button to call the elevator, step inside, and sigh as I wonder what I’ll do if Sebastian never wakes up.

***

Throughout the next few days, my routine is the same: wake up, shower, visit Sebastian, go home, cry myself to sleep. I can’t seem to find the energy to do much else. Whenever I’m at the hospital, I walk past the same grieving woman. I’ve learned, through eavesdropping, that the man in the bed is her son. He’s been in some sort of accident and ended up in a coma. Slowly, the number of gathered family members has dwindled. She is the only remaining visitor.

I’m almost to Sebastian’s room when the woman comes out of her son’s room, knocking into me.

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry,” she says. “I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay. I should’ve been watching where I was going.” I hold out my hand. “I’m Julia, by the way. My boyfriend, Sebastian is in the room next your son’s,” I say, pointing behind me.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Julia. You’ll have to pardon my rudeness the past few days. I haven’t felt very talkative lately.”

“I totally understand. I’m sort of walking around in a daze these days.” I chuckle.

“Yeah, me too. So, what happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” She points to Sebastian’s room.

I’m not exactly sure what to tell her, as I’ve not heard anymore from Mick about what to say, and what
not
to say, so I make something up on the fly.

“Car accident,” I lie, knowing, full well, patient confidentiality can’t be breeched. “How about your son?”

“Ford was in a motorcycle accident. I told him I hated the idea of him riding one, but he assured me he was a great driver. I guess he didn’t factor in that others on the road were not so skilled.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, and I’m sorry about your boyfriend too.” I nod solemnly and thank her. “Well, I’d better stop holding you up. I’m sure you want to get in there and visit with him. I’ll see you later,” she says.

“Okay, it was nice meeting you,” I say, then walk into Sebastian’s room.

As I walk up to and sit at his bedside, I notice the ventilator has been removed, and the bandage that’s usually wrapped around his head has been replaced by a fresh gauze pad. I take those as signs that things are looking up and smile as a result.

“Good morning, Sebastian,” I say with a kiss to his forehead. “I trust you slept well. Are you ready for the next batch of letters? I can’t wait to hear what my thirteen-year-old self has to say this time.” I roll my eyes and grin. Just as I begin, Mick walks in. He greets me with a sad smile and a kiss on the top of my head.

“How’s our boy today?” he asks.

“A little better, it seems,” I reply. “The doctors are monitoring him closely and watching for infection.”

“Ah, that’s good. So, any sign he might wake up soon?”

My face falls. “Not really. I guess he will when he’s ready.”

Mick nods. “Julia, do you want me to call your family? We could fly them down here, put them up in a hotel, or they could stay at your house. Just say the word, and I’ll make the necessary phone calls.”

“Actually, I’d rather you didn’t. There’s nothing they could do here and I’d just feel like I’d have to take care of them. I want to put all my time and effort into seeing Sebastian and coaxing him from this coma. If you’d feel better, you could call them and tell them I’m not dead. As far as they know, I’m still missing.”

“Jesus! I’d forgotten about that. I’ll call as soon as I leave here. Anything in particular you want me to tell them?” I think for a minute.

“Not really. Just that I love them both, and I’ll call when I can. Let them know that I’m safe, and Sebastian is with me. No need to go into detail about what happened. It’ll just cause my dad to worry more. Oh, and would you please call Jessica, and let her know too? She’s probably been worried sick about why I never showed up to go out with her that night in North Carolina.” Mick nods in agreement, then a thought crosses my mind. “What about Sebastian’s family? They should know he’s alive. His father obviously knows, but maybe his mom and brother would like to see him.”

Mick shakes his head. “I’m under strict orders not to tell them anything. Seb himself asked me not to call them if something happened to him. He said he doesn’t want them mourning his death all over again.”

“But, surely they—”

“I’ll call them after he’s awake,” Mick says adamantly.

“I understand.” I nod. He always thinks of everyone else, so it would seem.

“I’ll leave you two alone now,” he says and starts to walk out.

“Oh, hey Mick?”

He stops in his tracks and turns around. “Yeah?”

“How’s Shelby…er…Jaci?”

“She’s just fine. We had her checked out, and she was discharged the same day. She’s glad you’re okay,” he adds.

“I’m glad for that.” I smile. “Tell her she owes me a trip to the beach.”

He laughs. “I’ll tell her.” He leaves, and I turn my attention to the task at hand.

Sebastian

Julia’s voice fills my ears as I sit near the locked door. Closing my eyes, I listen to her read about the time she and her parents went on vacation. The truth is, I’ve read her letters so many times I could most likely recite them word for word. It’s not what she’s reading, but the fact that she’s here, or at least her voice is here, that makes me feel so much stronger. I haven’t tried opening the door today, but I think I’m weakening it, and one of these days, I might just have enough strength to open it.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere comes a strange sound. I turn my ear to that direction and listen intently, trying to decipher it. It sounds like someone running. Then, very faintly, I hear a voice shouting. I stand abruptly. Could there be someone else here? Could they’ve been here all along, and I just never saw them? Reluctantly, I tear myself away from Julia’s voice to go investigate. I walk to the end of the long hallway and peek around the corner. A man, who is dressed jeans and a t-shirt, sees me and heads toward me.

“Hey!” he says as he reaches me. “Where are we?”

“I’m not sure,” is all I can say. I’m still in shock at seeing another human being in this place. “I’m Sebastian.” I hold out my hand.

“Ford,” he replies. “What is this place?” He looks around, while he waits for an explanation.

“I wish I knew. I’ve been here for a while. How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know. I can’t seem to find a clock or calendar anywhere in this God forsaken place.” His eyes land back on me. “Is there a way out?”

I snort. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be here.” Then, I remember Julia. “Shit. I have to go,” I say and start toward the locked door.

“Can I come with you? You’re the only person I’ve found since I showed up in this place.” I nod and he follows.

I sit in my usual spot by the door and listen to Julia finish up the third letter. I’m disappointed that I missed most of her reading time.

“Damn it. She’s done.” I stand and walk away.

“Who said that?” Ford asks, puzzled.

“That’s my girlfriend, Julia. She comes and reads—”

“No, that sounds like my mother,” he interrupts.

I listen carefully but hear nothing.

“I don’t hear anything,” I say.

“She’s talking to me…and crying. Is it coming from behind that door?” He walks forward, puts his ear to it, and tries to push it open. “Mom, I’m here. Open the door.” His fist meets it as he begins to pound.

“Dude trust me, you’re wasting your energy. It’s not going to budge.”

He stops and looks at me, waiting for me to continue. I go on to tell him about all I’ve experienced since being here. He sits against the wall opposite me, and we both fall silent, contemplating our circumstances.

Julia

Two more days have passed, and Ford’s mother, Mary, and I have begun a ritual. Since both of us end up visiting our patients around the same time, we take turns buying each other coffee at the hospital cafeteria afterward. It’s nice because neither of us have anyone to talk to, and she’s almost a mother figure for me. We talk about everything from the boys, as she calls them, to local news. I found out she works for a local magazine, and she told me about a short story contest they're running. I told her I’d think about entering. As we sit, just shooting the breeze, my cell phone rings.

“It’s the hospital,” I say, completely confused. I was just upstairs and can’t imagine what they might want.

“Hello?”

“Is this Julia Bessette?”

“Yes, it is.” I can feel the hair at the back of my neck standing at attention. Something’s not right.

“Miss Bessette, we need you to come back to Mr. Vaughn’s room. It’s urgent.”

“Oh, no. What’s wrong?” My voice is panicked, and Mary is alarmed.

“I can’t say. Just come quickly, please.”

“I’m down in the cafeteria. I’ll be right there.” I hang up and feel the blood drain from my face.

“What is it? What’s happened, Julia?” Mary squeezes my hand, trying to get me to look at her, but I’m stunned.

“They want me up there right away. I just know it’s something bad, Mary. I don’t want to go.”

She pats my hand in a motherly way. “Then we’ll go together. Come on.”

She takes my hand and holds it all the way to the elevator. She doesn’t let go, until we step into the doorway of Sebastian’s room. There, in his room, are six different doctors and nurses surround him. They dash around the room, frantically checking tubes, injecting syringes, and all sorts of things I don’t understand. One nurse looks over. She stops what she’s doing when she sees me.

“Miss Bessette, please come with me for a moment.” She steps out of the room, and Mary and I follow. She looks at Mary as if to ask if it’s okay to talk in front of her.

“She can hear anything you have to tell me. Now, what’s going on? What’s happened to Sebastian?” I’m shaking. Adrenaline and fear have taken over, and I feel sick.

“We believe Mr. Vaughn has grown a blood clot. He’s going into cardiac arrest. We’re doing everything we can, but you need to prepare yourself for the worst.”

“The worst?” I feel dizzy, so I sit down on the nearest chair just outside his room. Mary joins me, still holding my hand.

“I’ll give you updates as I have them. In the meantime, please stay out here while we work on him.” Without another word, she turns on her heel and walks back into his room. I think I may faint.

“Deep breaths, Julia, deep breaths. He’ll be okay. I’ve been praying for him. You should say a few yourself. He’s a strong man, from what you’ve told me. He’ll make it.” She puts her arm around me, I lean into her, and let the floodgates open.