Authors: Ellen Hopkins
papers, a plain-Jane blond (not
hot, not Mandy) tours us around
the well-appointed facility,
where I'll learn to kick some ass.
Has no place in Vegas,
where Mr. Claus plays slots
and elfettes walk the streets
in Santa hats and crotch-short
skirts. You can count me
one
of themâjust a sad, skinny
girl hustling a slender living.
Honestly, Christmas wasn't
a whole lot better in Barstow,
but then, for at least a month or
two
I thought I had a chance
at happiness with Ginger.
Stupid me. What I've learned
is yes, some people born into
shit holes can rise from
the cesspool and come to
enjoy
a decent existence, free
from the stink. The rest
of us surrender to sinking
back under, and I've embraced
the view
that it's all a matter of fate.
That's the plan. Gram's driving
over this afternoon and will stay
the night, then pick me up in
the morning. So I've got today
to find Alex. I wake early, despite
the silence in my room. They
moved Miranda last nightâboth
because they knew she was primed
to run, and also for the safety of all
the House of Hope girls. Security
has been tightened, just in case,
which will make getting out of here
kind of tricky. We're not exactly
on lockdown, but I'll need a good
excuse. At breakfast, I sit beside
Brielle, listening to the buzz,
which is louder than usual this
morning, everyone speculating
about Miranda and why she walked
out of here with her caseworker.
Brielle nudges me.
What happened?
After I explain, she says,
Why don't
they just make an announcement?
The gossip is getting crazy.
Girls and gossip!
They're thinking:
She must be pregnant.
Yeah, but how? In here?
Who could it be? One
of the teachers? A janitor?
Someone she sneaked in?
Hey! Pastor Martin!
“Crazy barely covers it.
Do they really believe
we'd have a security guard
at the front door because
Miranda got pregnant?”
Not like the guy isn't obvious.
He's about the size of a grizzly
bear, and almost as hairy.
“Listen.” Under the table,
I slide my hand into Brielle's.
“You have to help me figure
a way to get out of here after
prayer. I got a text from Alex
last night. She's back on the street.
This will be my last chance toâ”
Brielle pushes my hand away.
That's right. Last chance,
and today is our last chance
to be together. Instead, you want
to find your old girlfriend?
Wow. I think this is called
jealousy, something I've never
experienced, at least on
the receiving end. Is love always
jealous? The noise level around
us has dropped. People tuning in.
“Shhh. Listen, Brielle. I'm afraid
for Alex. She's headstrong, and
impulsive, and pretty much lacks
common sense. But she's good
inside. I don't want her to end
up like the girl in the paper.
This takes nothing away from
what I feel for you. I'll always
love Alex as a friend, but there's
nothing left of what we were.”
Brielle softens immediately,
reaches for my hand again.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be
selfish. It's just . . . Let's go.
To morning prayer, Brielle
and I come up with a plan
for my escape. It's brilliant.
But first we have to suffer
through Pastor Martin's usual
badgering. That's what it is,
and today it's directed toward
me.
I understand one of you
left House of Hope last night,
and that another of you will
be leaving us tomorrow.
His
gaze falls on me.
I pray both
of you girls will continue to
walk in God's light. Go forth
and sin no more, that's what
Jesus would have you do.
I wish circumstances would
allow me to kiss Brielle right
here. But that would cause
a stir and I don't need that kind
of attention right now. Still,
since I won't have to deal with
his condescension anymore,
I feel the need to say something.
But don't wait for him to call
on me. “Excuse me, but I was
wondering if you understand
the reasons why most of us are
here. Because sin implies will,
and if you cared enough
to know our stories, you'd quit
accusing us of it. I appreciate
you worrying about our immortal
souls or whatever, but if there
is an all-knowing God, he must
be aware that we were coerced
into the life. That word is even
written into the definition of child
trafficking, and is why every one
of us has to listen to you remind
us of a past we're struggling
to forget. I doubt any of us wants
to return there. Maybe, through
considered prayer, the Lord would
grant you a bit of compassion
for girls whose childhoods have
been stolen and whose futures
are in doubt. Think about it.”
I stand up to leave,
surrounded by gasps,
yeahs, and one
Holy
shit,
not to mention
an outbreak of laughter.
“I'm sorry,” I mutter,
heading toward the door.
“I didn't mean to interrupt.”
I wink at Brielle, letting
her know it's almost time
to put things in motion.
She'll have to stay until
the good minister invokes
his benediction, but I'll be
ready as soon as the room
clears. I chance a glance at
Pastor Martin, expecting
the evil eye back. Instead,
he looks confused, as if I
was speaking in tongues
or something. And as I
take my leave, I think
I might hear him say,
You're right. Forgive me.
The only thing more surprising
would be if the sky opened up
and belted out thunder, as if
someone-on-high was yelling, “Amen!”
Brielle finds me in my room,
reaches for my hand and slips
a twenty-dollar bill into it.
Cab fare,
she explains.
Unless
you can cover it, and I know
you can't. That there is from
Sonya, by the way. I'll be doing
her algebra for a week.
I don't ask for details. A few
of the girls have managed to
stash a little cash, but most of us
are flat broke. “Thank you. I'll get
it back to you when I can. Kiss
for luck?” Her lips are sticky
with maple-flavored syrup.
Delicious. “Okay. You ready?”
She nods and picks up the thick
government textbook from
my desk.
Be careful. And . . . go!
We decided she'd count to ten
as soon as I'm out of the room.
I'm halfway to the front door
when there's an awful crash of
glass, followed immediately by
Brielle's scream. The security
guy, who's half dozing, jumps
to his feet and hauls balls right
past me. With all the commotion
behind me, no one notices when
I slip out across the threshold,
into the morning. Just in case,
though, I run up the block, smiling
at the scene unfolding inside,
where Brielle is explaining there
was a black spider the size of a
golf ball on the window, at least
till she smashed the book through
it. No sign of Los Sureños outside,
Grizzly Bear Dude will relax
and the on-duty house parents
will be so busy with glass repair
they won't even notice I'm gone
until my English teacher lets them
know I wasn't in class today.
It only took ten minutes
to come up with the plot.
Maybe Brielle should be
an author, too. We could
cocreate amazing books
and live a life of luxury.
Okay, there's a novel.
Lovely fiction. Will I ever
be able to write my own
future? On one hand, it's been
good at House of Hope, where
everything is regimented.
Boring, but safe, because I
wasn't allowed to make
decisions for myself. As of
tomorrow, I'm free to screw
everything up again. How
do I chisel a better path?
Guess I'll figure it out later.
Meanwhile, I need to focus
on Alex. The first thing I do is call
Lydia. Makes sense she'd go back
to her. But when I dial the familiar
number, a generic woman's voice
tells me it's been disconnected.
Huh. I try the Have Ur Cake
business line next. This one
asks me to leave a message. I don't.
I walk a decent distance toward
what looks like a main road.
House of Hope isn't anywhere
near the heart of the city. Not sure
twenty will get me that far in
a cab, but this looks like a bus
route. It is. There's a stop. While
I wait, I consider my next move.
I could call Alex, but I'm sure
she'd just hang up on me. In
fact, I have no idea what to say
if I do find her. All I know is
I have to try. Not sure why,
but I scroll through my contacts,
and when I get to the L's, my
eyes settle on a name. Lennyâ
Alex's and my favorite cabbie,
when we were working for Lydia.
Lenny. Yeah. The bus squeals
to a stop, and I board. The trip
downtown costs me four eighty
and takes twenty-five minutes,
plenty of time to give Lenny
a call. His hello sounds sleepy,
and it hits me he used to work
nights. “Uh, sorry to wake you.
It's Ginger. I know it's been a while,
but you used to drive Alex and meâ”
Yeah, yeah. I remember you.
I don't have dementia. And it
has
been a while. So now I'm
awake, what can I do for you?
“I'm looking for Alex, actually.
I'm leaving town tomorrow, and
have some of her stuff. Would you
know how I can get hold of her?”
What makes you think I might?
And if you don't know, there's
probably a reason. Now if you'll
excuse me, I'm going back to bed.
Now what? I get off the bus near
the Stratosphere, not far from
the strip club where Alex and I
got busted. This area is ripe for guys
on the hunt, and despite it being
just approaching noon, working
girls in all colors and shapes decorate
the sidewalks. All of them look tired,
and this time of day is the easiest.
Fewer creepers prowl before dark.
Still, as I show some of the ladies
a photo of Alex, ask if they've seen
her, a couple of men inquire about
my rates. One actually dares to touch
me. I wheel and push him backward.
“Fuck off. Do I look like a hooker?”
I'm dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved
crew-necked tee, and my face
is scrubbed. Hardly the wardrobe
of a girl working the sidewalks.
Uh, no . . .
he sputters,
sorry.
I just thought . . . well, looks like
you know these ladies. Happen to
know any younger ones?
Sicko.
“You do realize that paying
for sex with an underage girl
is not only illegal, but also feeds
child sex trafficking operations?”
Eighteen is okay by me.
He thinks
again.
Hey, wait. You a cop?
Then he reconsiders one more time
and laughs.
No, you're too young.
“Yeah, and you're a fucking
pervert. Why don't you go whack
off and call your fist Sweet Little
Miss, you disgusting piece of crap.”
Too far? Usually I can tell how much
is too much, but this guy seemed
like a mouse until he turned into
a badger. I've seen it before, but not
often. He bottles his anger, stuffs
it inside. You can see it in the way
his face blooms red, and his fists
begin a slow clench-unclench.