Traitor (16 page)

I forced a smile for both of us. “Real weakness is ignoring your emotions completely. You can’t be human and not have emotions. It’s a good thing that right now you’re just Memaw and I’m just Ashlyn. No assassins here, just people. People who hurt and have lost others they’ve loved.”

Her choked laugh sounded like there was a sigh of relief was intermingled within. “Good thing, indeed.”

We put our heads back together and sat in silence while we collected ourselves. As hard as we tried to be strong, no one could ever be completely emotionless. We just had to keep it together for everyone else. Together, alone like this, we could be honest. It was liberating to not have to hold the mask in place, even if it were only for a little bit.

Memaw’s laugh caught me off-guard. “I never imagined you would be the one consoling me, Ashlyn.”

“Everyone has their turn, I guess.”

She put her free hand on top of mine and cupped it. “You’re strong, Ashlyn. Don’t make the mistake I did by pushing all those around you away for fear of hurting them if you keep them close. Friends you push away can be deadlier than enemies you’ve always kept at a distance, for they know you, and you care for them.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I might know what you’re going through. You love Liam, that much is evident. You don’t want him hurt and because of that, you hurt him with your words often times to keep him at a distance. Let him in completely. No person should have to walk through life alone. Finding that person who wants to walk beside you through the darkness? Well, that’s rare. Finding two, that’s even rarer.”

My eyes fell to the ground. “You’re talking about Reese.”

“I am,” she agreed. “Reese cares for you just as much. At some point you’re going to have to make a decision on which of them you want to walk hand in hand with, and hope that the other will encourage you in your decision. Don’t hurt them both and lose them in the process. No one deserves that.”

Once more tears overwhelmed me. She was right. I couldn’t help that my best friend was a guy and I was in love with someone else, but I could help the choices I made that affected them. They deserved the best. I would give everything I could to be the best for them.

When the tears ran their course, Memaw pulled my chin up. “What I want to know most of all is how Dalbach knows all of this.”

I looked into her green eyes, and knew she was being honest with me. “So you knew about the necklace?”

“Yes, I did. That’s part of Ankou’s soul. Tess has a piece, I had a piece that has been given to you, and then wherever Morgan LeFay is, she has the other piece. We figured if we ever needed to barter, having three pieces would secure him never being able to cross to the other side.”

I nodded. “And if we were to give one piece back, he’d give us Dad?”

She nodded. “He’d have to. A piece of his soul for a soul.”

“Do you want me to do it?”

Memaw faltered. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it once more. It was evident she was conflicted. I couldn’t imagine how hard of a decision this was for her. On one hand, she’d chased Ankou to the ends of the earth to retrieve MaKenna and wanted nothing more than to rid the world of him completely. On the other though, she obviously wanted her son to be with his family. She wrung her hands as she spoke. “Is he happy? Does he want to cross over, or did he seem like he wanted to come back?”

“He was being beaten by this monster Changeling. He told me to get out of Neamar and never come back.” The memory was one that I would probably revisit in nightmares for months to come. The haunted look in Dad’s eyes in that cell…it made me shudder. “I don’t think he’d be opposed one way or the other, so long as he didn’t have to deal with Neamar anymore.”

Memaw nodded, but didn’t seem convinced that my idea was a good one. She avoided answering me with the best get out of jail card she could use: my mom. “Then let’s talk with your mother about it. We need to get out of Cork, anyway.”

“Why?”

Memaw smiled as she pulled both of us off the dewy ground. She dusted debris from my clothes as she spoke. “Because if we stay here much longer, Reese is going to be grounded. And by this time tomorrow, Ankou will bring the whole Changeling army to knock down Tess’s door if we don’t move.”

My mouth gaped open. Suddenly the urge to look over my shoulder overpowered me. I could have sworn I saw something move in the dense shadows that now covered us like a blanket. “Is he coming?”

“Why wouldn’t he? You just stole a bartering chip from him. One down, apparently three to go.”

I ticked them off on my fingers one by one. “Dad, Chris, and MaKenna.”

Memaw nodded. “Hopefully Reese’s mother isn’t opposed to houseguests. I don’t think our house is going to hold all of us.”

I smiled. “Reese’s mom is the super hero of hosting. The more people she has in her house, the happier she is. That woman doesn’t know how to just cook for a couple people.”

“I do love her cooking,” Memaw said through laughs. “Just don’t bring back a hundred Changelings the next time you visit Neamar, okay? We’re running out of places to go.”

I laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. No promises, though. Trouble seems to follow me.”

“Ashlyn, trouble doesn’t follow you. You run right into it and hold on for dear life.”

We walked hand in hand and enjoyed the easy silence out of the woods and toward the house. Nighttime wildlife weaved a symphony of sound as crickets and whippoorwills joined together in a delicate lullaby. As we reached the house, I stopped once more. “Memaw, what happened to Liam when I was gone?”

“You mean besides him losing his Protector status?”

“Well, yeah. He’s different.”

Memaw sighed. “I think we’re losing him, to be honest, Ash. Not in a death sense, but just in the fact that he is going to need time to process all of this. He’s the one that’s out of the loop now.”

I nodded, feeling horrible for him. It seemed like lead had filled up my stomach. “Is there anything I can do for him?”

Memaw looked at me sadly. “You know how I just told you not to push him away? This is an instance of the opposite. Let him go.”

“You mean break up with him?”

“No, not necessarily. But just be prepared to let him go. He’s going to need time. Maybe space. But just be ready. Let him do what he needs to do. The past few days have been really hard on him. This isn’t the same as you pushing him away. It’s the kindest thing you can give him, if you can support him through the silence.”

“It doesn’t seem fair. Why is he the one that has to deal with all the pain?”

Memaw sighed as she put her hand on my shoulder and directed us toward the house. “Sometimes the ones we love the most are the ones that get caught in the crosshairs. Look at Chris, MaKenna, and your father. We just got Aiden back. Even your mother is different now. She’s been forced to be stronger for everyone. We’re the ones they want – you and I – but our loved ones are who suffer. It’s better to have a durable Protector and allow Liam to avoid being the target if you truly love him. And if I’m right, you love Reese, too.”

I looked up at her. It kind of peeved me she’d call me out like that, honestly. “Why would you even say that?”

She simply smiled. “Because you’ve denied it for so long that it’s obvious.”

There wasn’t really a good response to her comment, so I just walked back into the house. I heard her chuckle behind me. Memaw could think what she wanted. Reese wasn’t a love interest. Reese was just my friend. My rock. The one person I could always count on. The one who always seemed to make sense in a world of crazy.

As we entered the living room, I saw Reese standing by the fireplace. He was with Aiden, laughing and talking with Tess. It seemed strange to see him here, in the know and part of the complete group. However, at the same time, it was undeniable how perfectly he fit. He seemed to almost be glowing with pride and excitement. Even though he was a Glaistig now, it didn’t feel any different.

To be honest, he was pretty good looking. His dark skin, brawny build and pronounced musculature begged for my eyes to drink him in. I’d never noticed before just how appealing he was until Memaw had pointed out my supposed interest. Not that I’d ever admit that to anyone else, of course.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Reese wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t my guy.

My guy was somewhere in the house, hopefully waiting on me. The thought sent my mind racing to his touch, his smell, his eyes. Every pore in my body ached to be beside him.

Memaw headed off the conversation and rerouted my previous ideas, as she got straight to the point as usual. Her strength and natural leadership emanated from her, and commanded all the eyes in the room without her really needing to push for attention. “We need to leave. The sooner, the better. Ankou knows where to find us right now, and even though he knows of our home in Ohio, we’d at least be one step ahead of him. Reese, do you think your family would mind some houseguests?”

Reese smiled. “Not at all. Desmond, Issac, Aiden, and Liam can stay with me. You ladies can stay at your place.”

While the guys were fist-bumping about the upcoming bachelor pad situation, I looked around. Liam wasn’t here. Instinctively, I turned to go to his room. Before I could leave, a hand was on my shoulder and the rich, Irish baritone of Aiden sounded behind me. “May I have a minute, Ashlyn?”

His request caught me off-guard. I figured he’d want to catch up with Tess and Liam. I turned and found his green eyes drilling into mine. Talk about off-putting. “Uh, sure,” I stammered.

He gestured with his broad hand to the backyard. Everything about Aiden felt big, even though I hadn’t heard him speak much since we returned. He definitely got that trait from his mom. I led the way and pulled the sliding glass door along its track, opening it wide. We both stepped outside.

The sun had given way to a full moon and a cloudless sky. Tess’s house was out in the country, so no city lights obscured the blanket of stars that littered the black expanse above.

I sat on the waist-high brick wall that lined the cement porch. I craned my neck to spot constellations I recognized. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aiden follow suit.

Even in the darkness his hair looked like the top of his head was on fire. The moon cast strange shadows across his face, and he looked otherworldly. He gave off the aura of a hunter, constantly on full alert in order to miss nothing. Even as he gazed skyward, his eyes darted to the forest line every few moments, then to me, then back to the sky. It was probably the time he spent in Neamar. That place could get to anyone.

His voice cut through the night like a knife. I couldn’t get over how deep it was. “I apologize for being a wank earlier.”

“A wank?”

He shrugged. A distance filled his words, like he wasn’t sure if he should care about our conversation or not. His eyes never met mine, even though my attention was focused completely on him. “A dick. I forgot you’re American and don’t get our slang.”

That was kind of rich, since all I’d done lately was spend time with his brother, friends, and family. I figured since he’d just escaped hell, I’d let it slide. It felt weird to look at him and have him not return the favor, so I went back to watching the sky. “My bad,” I muttered.

We remained in a weird silence for a while. The crickets continued to chirp and direct the twilight choruses. Every once in a while there would be a rustle of something larger in the underbrush, but I never saw any wildlife when I looked.

Once again Aiden broke the silence. “You’re dating Liam.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

The question caught me off-guard. It felt like an accusation. I blurted out my thoughts before I could think better. “What’s with the grand inquisition? You don’t even know me.”

He finally pulled his eyes away from the sky to look at me. While I always loved the liquid and endless feel to Liam’s blue eyes, Aiden’s were opposite. The green was hard, impenetrable. There was no gateway to Aiden’s hopes and dreams as there was to Liam’s. Aiden’s face was a complete mask. I couldn’t get a read on him.

His lips were taut and stretched in a thin line. His eyes were intense and he came to stand toe to toe with me. There was a considerable height discrepancy between us, and he looked down his perfect, angular nose at me. He gave me a once over, then spoke. “You’re right, I don’t know you. Which makes me wonder why you came to Neamar to retrieve me. Why you care at all where I am.”

“You’re Liam’s brother.”

“I am.”

Well, this wasn’t awkward at all. Nothing about Aiden made sense to me. He seemed overly guarded and I could understand that, but then why even bring me out here to talk? It was definitely the weirdest conversation I’d ever had, which was saying something.

I spluttered out a response. “Would you have rather stayed in Neamar digging holes? I’m sure we can get you your position back if you want.”

His right eye twitched a little and his face was a mask of indifference. All of a sudden, it was as though someone pulled the mask off of him. The difference was night and day.

He lit up, and his smile dominated his face. He wrapped me up in his arms and spun me around in a circle. My feet knocked over a lawn chair in the rotation, and his booming laugh could have probably set off car alarms. He sat me back down on the wall and sat beside me. “Thank you, Ashlyn McVean.”

I was completely confused. “You
want
to go back to Neamar?”

He waved me off. “You’re a different girl, no doubt. I can see why my brother would find you to his taste.”

I felt like he was comparing me to cheesecake.
Would you like raspberry or white chocolate?
He was an odd duck. Maybe Neamar addled his brains.

“So you were apologizing for being a dick.”

He laughed. “Yes, I was. I have a tendency to come across badly.”

That was the understatement of the day. Still, I just nodded. The guy had been through a lot. He needed to adjust. I changed the subject. “Have you talked to Liam much yet?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “No, not much. I need to. Mum has monopolized me today.”