Translated Accounts (11 page)

There are many misunderstandings of these legalities, being designed to bring justice, designed to settle actions between individuals, to advance freedom for some but not nor in spite of others.
It so appears equality is in all individuals, but this equality is mysterious, having much to do with essence or essences held in common by all individuals.

It is with difficulty we refer to “all individuals” as humanity, leading as it must to misunderstandings and confusions. Regard humanity as one wide-ranging community of individuals
where difference begins from that one fact, community, where one law may be applied. Economic and social difference are individual qualities, sometime properties, and will enter the process of
individual cases.

It is indicated that we talk not about one law but another. Societies differ, laws differ. Colleagues irritate international experts through a failure to distinguish one from another. Our
history can be an example, exemplification. Yet in earlier times our “campaigning formation” was susceptible to these arguments and examples, colleagues entered into these debates,
adopting proposals on conference platforms, lobbies of political chambers, yes, we did accede to these channels.

In cases dealing with political crimes, horrors, atrocities, precedents are of minimal value, also one case succeeds and we may not assume a precedent is created such that future State responses
will have altered. Each case is prepared uniquely, as unique, so, a phenomenal occurrence. Yes, of course. Sir. As one case succeeds in however limited a fashion so will the State and wider
community, international community, determine future victories, now preempting, from day-to-day operations of democratically-elected governments (dutiful-appointed), work on behalf of its masters,
delivering all appropriate legislation, appropriate as so and may so, working through these issues when and as so they may occur, and what then should we designate evidence, what then is proof, how
truth can be so determined, whose burden might that become, tell to me a victim, and is this consent. If all the way through and integral then explain to us how this can be. What also are called
universal, if from outwith positions of authority.

Who would seek a compassion, which must concern a future and I saw no future. Beyond that moment lay nothing for myself. Who is trapped, animals are trapped, humans are
animals. This was my country yet not my country. Why I was here. It was to question from the past, having no meaning for the now. The elderly man had arrived with his righthand man, who was a
dangerous man. Both had names known to myself and to other colleagues.

All concentration now was on this demonstration, fully placed to the elderly man whose role so was primary. We were in a cleared area in that section, I can say our section. We were seated on a
floor, backs to the wall and yet relaxing, stretching out our legs, the dozen of us. Others may have entered. A fire had been built. I had thought to be near to a window but spaces all were taken
and I could sit where, where I might.

There was the area beyond and some had returned from there with wood and also water, there was no wine, no brandy, if someone had cigarettes, I do not think so. There was little talking. I could
not grasp what was said, having to pay close attention to gesture, to facial expression. People were exhausted, I also, straining if to concentrate, so to listen, also that I might observe. I was
not excluded. If I thought so. I know that I was not. There had been strangeness, a strangeness. I can say it, but not what it was, yet something, there was something, yes, sensing it, I did so, it
was to happen, what?

Moment by moment I became stronger, gathering this from somewhere, yes, stronger, more. The elderly man was here and to talk, to lecture, of course, all lay within, all aspects, only what form
of this, how it so may progress.

An introduction had been given to himself by a colleague. It was courtesy also, these two having travelled far to this section. The elderly man acknowledged it. Our colleague continued, the
introduction now a prefatory comment, becoming also a lecture as does happen if there are philosophies or principles of action, of course, what these might be for one, for all, and for us now at
this more difficult time if our beliefs are not fixed, not in strength, there are these things we must retain and at what cost, any cost, these are our precious possessions, neither gold nor silver
nor the more modern tools and weaponry, all technology, neither trust, betrayal, all questions akin to this, yet more primary.

Near to the exit I saw the righthand man watching, watching, if he might intimidate us. Yes, myself. He could do it, this was a dangerous man, all now knew it, his presence only was
intimidation. Those who did not know of this had listened to the introduction by our colleague who now was stepping aside. And the elderly man was there and continued to speak, saying of beliefs or
principles, what actions that we are to do and must do. My eyes had been closing earlier, I have said exhaustion but now no longer but alert, hearing the elderly man’s voice, now
understanding that he moved towards a difficult ending, that was to develop and lay in that ending.

I had thought it a narrative. It was no narrative. I saw some looking to myself. I knew it. Acquaintances, yes, all were so. I knew it. We had come in the first batch together, and from awkward
situations, situations of adversity, greater adversity, adversities. Even so.

There was the nervousness. If my colleagues here awaited a sign it was concerning myself, how to look upon myself for all thought that it was myself. If I was not the one.

Now a further thought from myself, that I was not the one.

If I should be in fear. Why. I do not think so. I could have smiled. We were younger but not so much so, that our minds did not exist, also that we were together in these situations, I have
said, of adversity. Uneasiness and how to conceal it, not one from another, if we had been together in such affairs. Do not worry for myself. I smiled to them, this reassurance to them. Nothing is
unexpected. Is this to be learned, when may it be learned, what of their images, concatenation, where this meaning may be discovered.

If there is selection then it is we ourselves, we are in selection, have been selected. If it is myself then they also may accept responsibility, if imperatives do exist, yes. We can consider
our parents, who did not accede but did not comprehend, so turning their heads from us. If our parents turn their heads from us, we do not do so.

I had hoped they would understand this about me. I thought that they did. This now was reminding them. During the recent activity they had watched out for myself as I them, one to another, as
always. Tasks always were delegated as this task also was delegated.

It passed beyond remark when they saw that I was not disturbed. They each themself will assume none but them, not he not she, having endured such torment, they and their people, each of them.
But also they had the loyalty. They listened if I spoke, and if I spoke of that especially they listened. As one, another, all of us, we would learn and much so was to be learned, we knew this, I
knew it, to the depth of my mind, heart, also heart, yes, I say it.

For now I also was learning, in the presence of the elderly man and the other, and younger colleagues could begin from that. He spoke of betrayal. He asked if we knew how long were the human
entrails. The righthand man meantime looked to me. I shrugged but as in reply to the elderly man’s question, if it had been a question, I was not now certain. When his colleague continued to
look towards me I said, Yes, and the sound of my voice, booming. I wondered about the others. Matters of loyalty, betrayal. If they should wonder of myself.

The elderly man had made a sign, directing the same question to the others. A woman made a comment, clumsy comment, attempting humour. He ignored her to continue speaking. In past weeks I had
heard him on two such occasions, picked that up about him. He was not courteous but perfunctory, seeming without personal interest. Of course he had seen very many people. They come and they leave,
some disappear. Guests also. The elderly man would have known many guests, foreign people. Some had been colleagues. He had spoken of this.

Now again he spoke of this. I was concentrated now, knowing it for certain what he said.

Nothing else is possible. What else could there be? I could not think otherwise.

I now understood that the understanding was to me. I did not take it amiss. Why should I? I was in that position. He told of a very difficult example, during the occasion of a very difficult and
awkward incidence, very awkward incidence. He said how these things should be reviewed as examples and did we understand this, it was very important that this should be grasped by the company. He
explained it over and over again, asking if the point was grasped. And again, did we understand? I found his colleague, the righthand man, looking to me once more and so again I said, Yes.

It had the effect of making a silence. None moved but the elderly man who stared to me. You understand, he asked.

This time I remained silent. He nodded, moving towards me. He gripped me at the back and side of the neck, at first too firmly, choking me and I had to grasp at his wrist. He was directing me
over onto my back and I allowed myself to topple, onto my shoulder yet if there had been one option, I so allowed it. He patted my head twice, pulled back my shirt and drew one finger down the
centre of my belly, rib-cage to navel. When he spoke his voice was harsh and now too rapid for my comprehension. I now had no concentration for it seeing his arm, shoulder, knotted veins on the
back of his hand, wrists, how all power was there. He had withdrawn the knife, yes, thick-bladed, a breaking-knife, gouging and ripping. I saw now the righthand man, arms folded, only watching this
event.

Also a vigilance, towards something, there was this. I had the part to play in it. I could see that colleague, righthand man and there was that in him too, I was certain, but what was it?

And who would seek it?

I waited to learn. The younger ones would note this, some [as] patience, others I do not know. But I could not grasp all that the elderly man gave, if he might speak more slowly. Also the
harshness, there was that. I say that there was a harshness in him.

In his voice, his manner.

I expected indifference but this was harshness, hindering my comprehension. Also I was seeing his colleague who now observed others in the room, yes, as they looked towards the elderly man,
towards myself, he so was alerted, was alert, more so attentive. I was having to control myself so not to struggle, could not. I knew it. The elderly man’s voice now. Colleagues, he said, it
is for you, how you must learn this thoroughly.

His gripping now my neck, choking me, could not see his eyes and grasped his wrist, I did do it, if not I do not think, now blackness, in my eyes, spitting lights, spits of this, blue,
something. I would topple. I barely could see his colleague but yes he was squinting across at me, a glimpse of him. I saw him. I saw that man and know it, curious as to my origins, my people, from
where I had come. He did not know, neither the elderly man who would not care. They none of them, none of them. I told them nothing. They knew nothing. I told them nothing, not the elderly man. No,
not the righthand man, who would seek anything. And find nothing. Yes and find nothing. But I waited to learn. I would wait to learn, and so see nothing beyond that moment, for what may I say I had
given myself, if to death, I so had done it.

The concentration of the others centred on the elderly man and his demonstration. I no longer could see his colleague but he would be staring, no feature altered.

Now I was gulping I think to speak, if I may so, having to gulp, if I can speak, but the elderly man’s grip forced back my head, settled back onto my windpipe, the heel of his hand to the
top of my chest so that I only could gulp, he exerted the pressure again and it was sudden and I saw into his eyes and there was nothing there for me, nothing, I was not here for this man, if my
flesh would be ripped. The knife was flat to my stomach, upon it, and its point pressing, I distinguished it, I wondered how long till I heard the voice, when it would come. When it did so it was
from a direction too difficult for me. Still the elderly man stared down, his grip arrested on my neck. The pressure there was great. His colleague had moved elsewhere in the room, in meantime, and
I could look for him, could smile, but did not see him, could not. The elderly man was listening, only listening. I watched, he saw it. He saw also that I waited. I knew to wait and would wait. The
elderly man, his colleague. The response would be from them. Even so it was now that the other spoke. This was the one. I knew it, knew it. Even now, he did speak. There are no friends, he said,
there are no others.

His voice had rasped and was followed by silence. None in the room seemed even to move. I waited also, and then could move onto my side the grip of the elderly man so having relaxed. I thought
to recognise whose was the voice. I knew that it would come again and I would understand the familiarity. I knew that it would be so.

The fire had dulled and there was not much light now and also a smell, yes sweetish, also was this coal dirt or dampness, something. I looked where I could, seeing their eyes to me. If they had
thought I was not of them. They now knew was truth, lying in this demonstration, all younger colleagues. Perhaps this earlier had been denied. If examples might be heeded, not heeded. I saw the
elderly man’s colleague towards the rear of the room, as though lounging. He was not lounging. I saw also his look to myself, a curiosity. Yet there was the haughtiness. It was a fault in
him. I knew it and so could have said it, argue of it, I saw it, yes, an arrogance, what arrogance was this, a righthand man. I thought why the elderly man so had selected him. I would have known.
I would have been so capable, I could have succeeded, neither with arrogance.