Translated Accounts (9 page)

She said, I am childish?

Not you.

You say that I am childish, that is what you said

What?

You said it, I am childish?

Yes, if what you say, it is childish.

It is your arrogance, unthinking.

It is not arrogance, I have no arrogance

You have no arrogance, she smiled.

Not as you are saying

What then, what is it? You mean something, what is it?

I do not understand you.

If that you mean something

I do not.

Then it has no meaning.

None, what we do, none of it, not meanings, none, nothing. You see something in this as I see nothing.

You see nothing, yes, nothing, nothing that may be wrong. How might that be. This objective of yours that is so primary, objective of ours, how something may be wrong in it, it cannot be. We are
to trap people. It is good, good for human beings, good for the world. This is freedom to come, trapping people.

I know what is wrong, I said, it is the sarcasm you bring to bear.

I use it on myself. It is myself. I do not use sarcasm on you. We are to trap people. Surely there is nothing that can be proper in that?

These people are in error. People can be in error.

These people are colleagues. They abuse discretionary powers. These errors are errors

Errors are errors.

Greater errors.

You know what they do, these colleague-people?

Colleague-people, yes, I know what they do

You? You know what they do? I said so.

Ah, you said so.

I said so, I am saying so, now to you, yes.

Now you are brave.

Brave to speak to you? Yes I am brave, yes, speaking to you.

These are colleagues.

Yes, and I say it to you, also, they abuse discretionary powers. They do that. Yes, these are colleagues. Perhaps you have forgotten. You knew it and now do not know it.

You do know it?

Yes and therefore say it to you, yourself. I know it and have said it.

Ah, you know such powers.

I know such powers, yes, what may be abused, yes, I know it.

You know abuse.

Yes.

Each of us one to another, we abuse.

Yes.

As you know.

It is you, you who know.

I know of morale, she said, that morale is low, I know that, yes, among our colleagues, wondering what is to be done further, how people may be supported, all victims, grieving families. If
colleagues see that ways may exist but these ways are barred from them, yes, morale is low of course it is low, I know it, you also must know it.

Yes I know it, morale is low, low for them, four meals for the day for them, and wine also, generous wine, hours of rest, what relaxation, finer coffees, let us drink brandy from France, cognac.
Perhaps their morale can improve soon, give them cigarettes, cigars. Morale is low. What is that, people are murdered by State agency, people are tortured by State agency, people are massacred by
State agency, yes, colleagues’ morale, I am so sorry, it is low, morale is low, murderers at liberty now promoted let us see football, what is the goals scored, where is a television,
cafe-bar Fräulein, ein Bier zwei Bier, danke, see how the striker has scored a goal, we have no opposition, he was dancing through our defences, we have no defences. Morale is so low, lower,
give me beer please and fine sausage. I do not know about morale.

I do not know you.

No?

I do not know you, it is you, I do not know you.

No?

This is all you say, no?

It is all that I say, all that I say to you

Ah, now, saying it

Yes, saying it, I do say it, to you, it is you who hear me, I so am saying it, to you. I shall shout, let me shout, open the window here for people, let me shout, I shall shout. Everything.

Yes, she said, open the window, I shall open it for you to shout. People are deaf, shout, shout from the window, jump from the window.

I am not deaf.

You are deaf. Also blind.

Thank you.

We cannot speak, she said, no longer.

I cannot speak. To you. Only to you. You are the sensitive person, all understanding is yours.

We cannot speak.

Cannot speak, it is you, you speak of abuse, that I abuse you, what is it you are saying?

You do not abuse me, only I abuse you. I am sorry. Morale is low, my own.

Your own morale?

Yes.

Something then may happen, when morale is low. Tell me, what may happen? Something may happen if morale is low? Tell me of actions that may occur, arising from characters that are weakened.

But all experience is with you so if it is then you must tell me, if it is possible, you must know, you know all things.

You think to shame me by what you say, you cannot so shame me, you cannot.

I do not think to shame you

Yes, as that morning before your departure this time, it is six days ago, as food was there and you were eating, I heard you, I entered the room, I heard you, sitting with our colleagues,
speaking of different matters, disaffections are among people, I heard you, speaking then also of morale. I heard you, I did not listen for long. I saw also you were smoking cigarettes.

But not you.

No.

You had no cigarettes.

You had cigarettes, I had none. You had food, I had none.

Food was there for you.

Cigarettes were not. You were smoking cigarettes, you three, you and these other two, he who watches you

He does not watch me

I see his eyes, he watches you, it is he who abuses, I know his look, how he sees you. All having cigarettes, yes, you sat with them. You discussed matters?

Of course.

You sat with them, talked with them.

Of course.

You talked with them?

If you think so.

I think so.

Yes.

You said of our work that it may be described as degenerate.

Degenerate, I used the word?

Degenerate, yes.

You heard that I used this word?

According to others.

To others, they said to you?

I heard.

But I did not use the word. Another word.

Degenerate is your word, it is your word of yourself, the work you do.

Work we do. Your word, our work, it is not my word for this work, my word is obligation, what must be done.

I think of you you are a dangerous man. Having regard for you, that is what I think, to human beings, you are dangerous.

If I am dangerous to human beings, respect derives from there. It is no criticism. You use this as criticism, for me it is not, it is the work we must do, the source of respect. You condemn it,
saying words with hostility, some, but this work is necessary work, it is to be done, myself yourself, we do it, if not who, if we do not. Please, I said.

What?

I waited for this time to come, you returning, if you were safe

I am safe, you also. She turned her head, looked to the window. She said, This is my life.

Will you eat?

I have eaten.

You have eaten?

Yes. Also, this room is my room.

I shall leave it.

She did not answer.

I shall leave your room.

When?

Tonight. This moment, this moment now, I shall leave.

No, just now is late, tomorrow. Tonight I must sleep. She sighed. Please, I am tired, very tired.

They are all the way through and are integral, what also are called universal if from positions of authority. In working through the issue these become of greater complexity,
entering into every part of how society operates, from the State and its government downwards. There were then as now no State security agencies active in this manner within our territory,
immediate or wider, so we were advised by authoritys dutiful-appointed. But if at sensitive periods people are confronted by these agencies and all soon come to know of their existence, unless in
denial, so remaining. Where do they come from.

These authoritys and securitys adopt the role of defence or prosecuting authority, of judge, jury, executioner, what may be the requirement. Operational roles. This is no policy. There is
reference to “proper conclusion”, what is meant by this.

They do not suffer complexity. They argue it is needless, misplaced. What we ourselves believed was the case, we said it to them. We would not disguise our perception of a given situation, given
to us. We told them never. If it is instrumental to regard the government as an agency of State. Of course. They wondered that we knew this at once.

It can only be accepted. If indeed that it so exists it can only be accepted. If only we understand what it is being argued. Democratic controls, that their existence is ratified. Other
agencies, existing autonomously. This can be conceded. There is executive control. Let that be assumed also but that this guarantees the operation its autonomy, let that also be understood. And of
public discourse. Of course such control is allowed, this may be assumed also. But when, as in this present time, the more thoroughly we enter into “campaigning work” the more
thoroughly we come to understand the depth of confrontation, the nature of what is in confrontation. We need not be ignorant of what lurks in our midst, neither requiring such information thrust
down our throats. When we have gathered appropriate data, and we will have gathered these, then further knowledge of that or related situations will have become ours. From where, from wherever. We
know of what is said, of that which we say. Thus it is to make a leap in reasoning. Thus also do we come to know that when a person dies in struggle through injury, accident or disease, whether
what they call evil, or as an effect of what they call warfare, by acts of intention and omission, wilful malice, disregard for human safety, and further, and that these be civil or adjudged
criminal by international adjudication, then also at that stage a value is in operation, that these need not lie outwith our area of control, for any such death is an act of terrorism,
State-inspired.

What is evil. A situation not controlled.

A situation may be looked upon as outwith control if outwith control by humans, by agency of humans. If we believe in beings not of us, gods, we return to gods and thus we have evil, or what,
whatever we may have that lies beyond us, outside our control, we humans. But so too with the civil. This is no contradiction. What is civil. Yes, situation controlled. But who is controlling, who
is controller.

We have asked these questions. We are advised of a way into the thinking, we are to understand what effects are obtained by such deaths within our culture. How our people may respond to them,
how the State and master authoritys respond to them. In this we ascertain how they may respond to this “campaigning formation”, how that it must do

Yes, and how do we respond to them on this understanding. Can it be enough that we do. Some say so.

The State Security Council responds as though to a mystery but we are not security, for us there is no mystery, yet do we adopt the leading position, as though in hold of a mystery. This is the
position the security detests. All authority. They may be heard repeating so on any occasion that there is no mystery, what mystery could there be, not unless contrived as such, concealing the
truth as by intention. We also argue there is no mystery. There is life and not life. Who withdraws one.

We can think this of one newcomer, any newcomer, stranger in our midst, a tourist, any guest to the country. Such are an irritation. More. But we are to respond. How are we to respond. We may
shut off our ears to the newcomer as so advised. We may distrust the situation, thus may we exercise caution, so to remain controllers. But we also may be controlled. Who says it.

There are the questions we must ask, the questions demanding that they so be asked. We have listed these questions, answers do not come. Replies are not answers, if that they are, not always
so.

Legal circles, power structures, spheres of influence within these circles and structures. Lawyers and other moral people, all professors, assistants to the aides of political leaders,
secretaries to charitable corporations over this planet Earth. They talk to us. They also are members of the human species. Yes. Thank you. They warn us of international legality inter as between
the owner of one dog that has bitten one child and the parents of such child. The example offered to us, common to these circles, often used, often abused. We learn these examples thus to enter
discourse. How else to talk. We can talk. Can we talk. Yes, we learn. We also talk humorously. There so is humour.

We discover a reaction to these examples may reach to the foundation, the fundamental principles of our behaviour, of how we respond one to another. These principles, ways of being, are
universal. We hereby agree as set out, members of the human species, all of us. In working through the issue it becomes of the greater complexity, entering into every part of the society, from any
State Security Council and its government, and onward, downward. Peoples are confronted by all authoritys and agencies, policing bodies, others, military, security, domestic and foreign, whether in
the role of defence or prosecution, of judge, jury, executioner, extrajudicial, summarily and always the government as integral state agency, democratically-elected, dutiful-appointed.

It is we who confront authorities. And who are we. We who may seek. Many colleagues many people. Disinformation and propaganda exist. This has been intensified, now reinforced and again
reinforced. Few among us will have noticed, become moved. Who might be aggrieved if discovering the reality of State control. It is accepted that there is this control. All may enter into political
work thoroughly, coming to understand the repression that exists in the society, in the culture, our community. One individual comes to understand, entering freely into that understanding.
Confrontation can be direct. It is honourable. The newcomer can respect this, paying close attention. Strangers to our country also have their experience, other experience. Some are not exhausted,
they are beyond these more trying circumstances. We are exhausted, so many of us, bodies aching.