Troubled Waters (The Lake Trilogy, Book 2) (2 page)

“It’s really nice, and my schedule doesn’t have me racing across campus from one building to the next. My first class doesn’t start until nine so I’ll have plenty of time to get there in the mornings.” I hesitate to tell Luke about my Eliana sighting, but if I’m going to really make an effort to deal with this I need their help. They have more than proven that I can trust them with anything so I’m not going to start holding back now, even if it points to me increasingly losing my mind. “I…saw something today…someone actually.”

“Really? Someone from your high school in Orlando?” Luke raises his eyebrows in surprised excitement. I can tell he’s hoping this is a step toward making new friends.

“Not exactly.” I hesitate but suck it up and blurt it out. “I saw someone who looks
exactly
like Eliana Meyer. It was wild, Uncle Luke. I mean, if the, you know, the situation weren’t what it is, I would
swear
it was her.”

“That
is
wild. What happened?” he asks, sorting the tall stack of books into two columns.

“I tried to catch up with her but lost her. I don’t know why I was trying. I guess I just wanted to get a better look at her. Anyway, I wanted to tell you in case I’m officially going crazy.”

“You’re not going crazy, Layla. We haven’t really talked about this. No one knows where Will and Eliana are so your mind is looking for them everywhere. With Gregory calling off the search…” Luke looks at me curiously, waiting for my response.

“I know. It’s just too hard to think about it like that. I can’t give up hope,” I say.

“Talking about the reality of the situation is not giving up hope,” he says softly but sternly. “We’re not going to pretend he never existed, Layla.”

Luke’s words take me back to our conversation about life with Gram. I wasn’t allowed to talk about my parents. They were dead and we were going to live life as if they never existed. That was Gram’s unspoken rule. I didn’t realize until now that I was imposing that rule on myself and Luke and Claire. I have refused to talk about Will and, even now, am hesitant. For some reason I’m afraid to let the gush of emotions I’ve been holding in flow. But now, with my Eliana twin sighting, it’s clear I can’t do this anymore. Once my mind allows my heart to make this decision, there is immediately no reason to hold back. So I don’t.

“I miss him so much!” I cry, letting the tears stream down my face uncontrollably. “He promised he’d be back. He promised he’d never leave me. Where is he?” I’m crying so hard that I’m hiccupping between words. “He hasn’t contacted us in any way…that means he’s hurt! He’s out there and he’s hurt and he can’t get to a phone or anything!”

“Oh, Layla,” Luke says taking me in his arms. “It’s going to be ok. They’re going to find him. Shhh…shhh.” He strokes my hair in a smooth and comforting rhythm, easing my pain with every pass. “We aren’t going to give up.”

I sigh the sigh you take when you’ve just cried more than you thought possible. Luke has done a remarkable job at comforting me in a time when I felt hopeless. As I loosen my grip from around his middle, Luke looks at me and confirms my trust in him. No matter what happens, I know that I can trust him completely.

“See…that wasn’t so bad, now, was it?” Luke grabs a napkin from the counter and gently wipes the tears that have streaked my face.

“That sucked.”

“Yeah, I know.” Luke and I chuckle as I regain my composure. “You gonna be ok?”

“I will be. I’ll feel better when I know where he is,” I say straightening my shirt and tucking some loose locks behind my ear.

“I think we’ll all feel better.” Luke tosses the napkin and leads me outside to where Claire is on the deck.

“Everything ok?” Claire asks. No doubt she heard my waling and is concerned. Luke gives her a nod and I see once again what a great team they make. She trusts him implicitly, which is why she didn’t feel some motherly duty to come in and take on my crying. I love this about them.

“Everything is fine,” I say.

“Well, since we’re moving
forward
,”
Luke has told her about the ring as I assumed he would after I left. “Layla, did you see that there’s a freshman reception next week? It’ll be a good chance to start making some friends before classes start.” Claire is way more into my college experience than I am. She was clearly one of those students who went to every pep rally and football game. I bet she had the best spirit fingers around. The college experience is
very
important to her.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” I say trying to appease her.

I would prefer to just go to class and come home each day. Much like when I first moved to Davidson, before I met Will, I have no desire to cultivate relationships. It means I might have to explain my life story at some point and I’m not about to do that.  I can be the girl with the baggage, or I can pretend that my life is picture perfect. After thinking about it for a moment I decide that I don’t like either of those options so I make a third. I’ll keep to myself and avoid making too much conversation with anyone. I didn’t get a chance to be the weird, reclusive girl at Heyward, so I’ll give it a go here.

I go to the reception because I know it’ll make Claire happy. It can’t hurt. Maybe I’ll find a study partner and it won’t be a complete waste of time. I walk in and immediately feel out of place. Everyone seems to already know each other. At least at Heyward Prep I had my own little entourage to make me feel like I was part of something. My heart warms as I think about the days Will and I had with Gwen and Caroline, Chris and Tyler, and then saddens because I have no certainty that things will ever be like that again.

In the back of my mind I thought I might see someone from my high school in Orlando, but there are no familiar faces to be seen. God knows there’s no way I’m seeing anyone from Heyward here. They wouldn’t be caught dead at a state school.

I mingle and make less than small talk with people. When asked where I’m from my answer is a firm Davidson, North Carolina. I’m more connected to that town, even after being there just a year, than I ever was to Orlando. It’s the place I discovered and learned so much about myself, the place I found a home with Luke and Claire, and the place I fell in love with and gave my heart to Will. Although exiled, I will always feel that Davidson is my home.

Two of the girls I meet are also psychology majors. We discover that we have a class together this semester and agree to form a study alliance. They seem like nice girls. I feel bad that I’ve already determined I’ll never let them get close to me.

Having suffered long enough through feigned interest in other people, their majors and career goals, I decide I’ve done my due diligence in appeasing Claire and leave. Apparently everyone else is having a grand time at the reception because I’m the only one heading out of there.

The walk to my car is quiet. It would be just as quiet if Will were alive, but perhaps not as lonely. I thought I would spend my days here waiting, anticipating the moment until I could see my love again, touch his face…kiss his lips. Without that anticipation to keep me alive, each day I will be the walking dead.

I’m almost to my car when I hear someone else in the quiet of the night. My heart begins to race as I hear the quickened shuffle of feet behind me. I’ve just reached the tail of the Lexus when a hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around.

“Marcus!”

Marcus is here and I’m happy to have a bit of home. I’m glad we were able to reconcile our friendship before I left. Between faking a romantic relationship for Will’s father’s sake, and his and Will’s fight at Halloween, it had been an incredibly intense and stressful time. Seeing him now makes my heart happy, though, and I am excited to spend time with him, however short his visit may be.

“Hey, Layla!” Marcus says as our arms wrap around each other.

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming to visit until fall!”

“Well, I’m not exactly visiting,” he says.

“What do you mean?”

“I got to thinking…I don’t have any family in Davidson – only some mediocre friends…and you’re new here and could use a friend…so…I transferred!” Marcus seems so pleased with himself.

“Wow, Marcus! I…can’t believe you did that!” And just like that, I’m happy and completely unnerved at the same time. I’m also now keenly aware that Marcus found me here on campus, which seems a bit too coincidental for me. Marcus made his feelings for me clear on more than one occasion, and even though I told him I loved Will, I’m not so sure he really gave up. With Will gone I’m nervous Marcus is going to try to rekindle what never had a spark in the first place. “Wow! Are you living on campus?” I stutter.

“Nah, I got a place nearby with some guys needing a fifth roommate. It was a stroke of luck that it all worked out in perfect timing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” A little warning would have been helpful. He has no idea what I’ve been going through, and just popping up like this isn’t as helpful as he thinks it is. Had he told me I would have discouraged him, at least on the timing.

“I wanted to surprise you. Aren’t you happy to see me?” He sounds annoyed that I haven’t pulled out the pompoms to cheer for his arrival.

“No, I am…I’m happy to see you. I’m just surprised is all.”

“Good. I knew you would be!” He smiles and grabs my hand, feeling that I’m still wearing Will’s grandmother’s engagement ring. “What’s this?”

“It’s a promise ring. Will gave it to me just before…” I can’t bring myself to say the words out loud. Marcus scowls at the mention of Will’s name.

“And you’re still wearing it.” It’s not a question, but a chastisement.

“Yes. He’s still out there, Marcus. I’m…I’m not ready to take it off,” I say in a slight lie. I’ve given the impression that one day I will be ready to take it off, which is not the case. The only way this ring is leaving my hand is if it’s pried off
my
cold, dead finger.

“Well, maybe that’ll change soon.” His tone is uncharacteristic of him, and I’m a little creeped out by it. It catches me off guard and I don’t have an appropriate response to his inappropriate statement.

“Um…I need to get going. I’ve got the same cell, so, uh, give me a call. It’s good to see you Marcus.” I’m so caught off guard by him being here and his assumption of what may lie in store between us that my fight or flight is kicking in and I’ve got to get the hell out of here.

“Oh, ok. I thought maybe we could grab a coffee or something, but, uh, ok. I’ll call you.” He gives me a too-tight hug and I do my best to pull away naturally. “It’s so great to see you, Layla. We’ve got a new life here and it’s going to be great.”

Excuse me, but
we
do not have a life here.
I
have a life here. There is
no
“we”.

I smile and nod as I close the door to the car and do everything I can not to slam the gear into reverse and screech my tires out of there. The minutes home seems to last forever. I run through every encounter Marcus and I had together to figure out why in the world he would assume that a forward move like transferring to FSU would be well received. I never admitted to him that I liked being close to him when he was posing as my boyfriend for appearances sake. Even though it was nice, it was nothing like being with Will, and my feelings for Marcus were never romantic. I knew it then and I know it now. Marcus will never understand the difference.

I pull into the driveway of the house and check my phone for messages or texts from Luke or Claire. I’ve also been keeping in touch with Caroline, even though it’s been a while since we connected. There are no messages from anyone, but three texts from Marcus.

Marcus Reynolds: So great to see u tonight. Can’t wait to see u again! :-)

Marcus Reynolds: U r not answering. R U OK? Or maybe u r driving.
If so, don’t text and drive!  ;-)

Marcus  Reynolds: U should be home by now. Text me to let me know u r ok.

Great! Marcus has turned into a lovesick stalker puppy. I SO don’t need this right now!

Layla Weston: I’m home now. I’ll talk with u later. Goodnight.

Marcus Reynolds: Whew! U had me worried. I’ll call you tomorrow!

I’m sure you will.

In the morning I recount last night’s events to Luke and Claire and they’re just as surprised as I was at Marcus’ arrival.

“Why would he just up and leave Davidson?” Claire asks.

“I think he thinks we have some kind of future together now that Will is….” I silently applaud myself for being able to say Will’s name so freely. I suppose Luke and Claire are doing the same thing since I’ve acted like his name is Voldemort.

“That’s odd,” Claire says, showing the same creeped-out feeling I had earlier. Only another girl would understand the uneasy feeling an unwanted suitor gives you. “Did you tell him that you’re still holding out hope for Will’s return?”

“Sort of. I really just wanted to get out of there. There’s something different about him. The Marcus I knew wouldn’t have just up and moved like that. Well, at least I never imagined that he would do something like that.” Marcus’ arrival has intensified my thoughts of Will. A swarm of memories invades my mind and I feel like I need some air.