Troubled Waters (The Lake Trilogy, Book 2) (5 page)

“How upset?”

“Very upset…in his own way.” She knows where I’m going with my questioning.

“If they were on their way home from Hickory, why are we just finding out now? It’s been over two months.”

“Layla, you don’t want all the details…” Luke starts.

“Yes. I do. Why are we just finding out now?” I reiterate.

Luke takes a deep breath, readying himself. “Their bodies were…unrecognizable. An investigator that Greg had on the case followed a lead that just now panned out. They were in the city morgue. They had to be identified through their dental records.”

“Is he going to be investigated?”

“Who?” Luke asks.

“Gregory Meyer. Is Will’s father going to be investigated?”

“Why would he be investigated, Layla?” Luke asks in his lawyer tone.

“Because…he had something to do with this,” I reply very matter of fact.

“How do you know Greg was involved?” Luke asks.

“Will told me he had something planned so that we could be together. He also said that his father would rather see him dead than not fulfill his Meyer destiny. His father must have found out and retaliated,” I say.

“Layla, Will’s father was in Raleigh that day. This was an
accident
. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. The police think there was a deer in the road and Will overcompensated when he veered to miss it.” Luke replies in a slow, concentrated tone. My composure is alarming to them.

“You can tell me what really happened.” I demand. I can’t get the image of the last time I was with Will out of my head. He had been restless and determined to make sure I knew how much he loved me. “I can handle it, Uncle Luke.”

“Layla, there’s nothing more to tell you.”

“I don’t care that he wasn’t in town. You know as well as I do that he has the power to do something this awful,” I protest.

“I’m so sorry, Layla, but…as much as I would love to pin Gregory Meyer to the wall on this, it’s just a terrible and completely unfair accident. Will…is dead,” Luke answers.

His words resonate in my head for what feels like several minutes. I study both of them, the expressions on their faces. They’re eyes are dark and sad. They look worn and tired. There is nothing about them that says what they are telling me is anything but true. My head feels heavy, full, and I know. “You really don’t believe Mr. Meyer had anything to do with the accident?”

“No. He had no involvement,” Luke says. He’s serious and I fight to believe him. I don’t want to believe him.

“But…Will’s ring…he said…he said we were going to be together. Oh, God. Will is…and his mother…” I can’t breathe.

“Yes, honey. They’re both gone.” Claire wraps her arms around me, beginning to cry with me.

Somehow, when I believed Will’s father was involved, it was almost bearable. I had someone to place the blame on, but now that it’s
just an accident
there will never be justice. It will be
another
senseless tragedy in my life. My heart is going to beat out of my chest and now I really can’t breathe. I rock back and forth and slide off the stool. Luke and Claire sit with me on the floor of the kitchen while I sob harder than I ever have before. I’m shaking and I think I might throw up.

It isn’t fair! What did I do to deserve this? Why aren’t I allowed to have peace and happiness in my life? Who did I wrong that I’m destined to be punished for the rest of my life?

“Oh, God! No, no, no, no! Make it stop! Oh, God!” I scream. I cry. Will promised that he would be here for me. He promised I could cry and scream with him and now he isn’t here when I need him the most.

Was it all for nothing? Losing Mom and Dad…the years I spent with Gram, paying for my transgression…all the sneaking around, plotting and planning so Will and I could be together…everything we did to buck Gregory Meyer’s Hitleresque system…whatever it was that Luke, Claire, and Will had planned for my and Will’s future…it was all for nothing?

It’s two o’clock in the morning when Luke insists we all go to bed. My body is worn out from crying for almost two hours straight and Luke has to carry me upstairs. My eyes are so swollen that I can barely hold them open. They pull the covers over me and all I can do is pray that I’ll wake up in the morning to find that it was all a horrid nightmare. As they go downstairs I can hear Luke and Claire both sobbing and I know that this is really happening. It’s no dream.

Will is dead…and so am I.

I do next to nothing over the next several days. Luke contacted my professors and told them what happened. They were all very accommodating in providing the assignments I would miss over the next week, although right now, I don’t even see the point in going back to school. I have no drive, no motivation to do anything.

I sleep a lot, and when I’m not sleeping, I walk around like a zombie. We’ve been here for months and I’ve only walked the path to the dock once. It’s not the same as the one I shared with Will. Now that he’s gone, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back again. To sit in that artificial place will only make it hurt more.

Claire tries, but I can’t eat either. I’m a mess, I haven’t showered in days, and I don’t care. Luke and Claire are more attentive to me than Gram was after my parents died, which is to say they’re attentive at all. Gram blamed me and wanted to move on and act like they never existed. Not Claire. She asks me every day if I’m ready to talk and she tells me that I can cry, yell, scream or do anything I need to do to get through the pain. I never reply to her, but I appreciate that I don’t have to.

The memorial service for Will and his mother is today. We flew in last night and are staying with Caroline’s family. We could have stayed at our old house since Luke and Claire haven’t even put it on the market yet, but I just couldn’t. There are too many memories of Will and me there that I just couldn’t bear it. Besides, I think Claire wants Caroline’s mom to observe me – make sure I’m not going to go off the deep end. Too late.

I initially didn’t want to come because it makes me sick to my stomach to think of Will’s father standing up there in front of everyone, lying about how much he loved his wife and son, and how much he’ll miss them. I’m here because I care more about honoring Will than the charade his father will put on. I also have to show Mr. Meyer that I’m strong and resilient.

I wear a black pencil skirt and Will’s favorite blue top. I twist my hair up, and clasp the necklace Will gave me around my neck. As I pull my hands from behind my neck the light hits my ring and the sparkle catches my eye. I stare at it for a few long moments like I have over the last several days. Will’s words echo in my mind and I quickly remember the promise I made to him. I remember that night like it was yesterday. The speech he gave that day at graduation about seizing the opportunity of a lifetime in the lifetime of the opportunity. Will was my once in a lifetime opportunity. He was everything I wanted and his love was everything I worked so hard to finally deserve.

He may be gone, but I will never let him go. My heart will forever belong to Will Meyer.

As we arrive at the church, I’m greeted by Chris and Tyler, who sandwich me in a hug like big brothers. Gwen and Caroline are close behind them, arms extended. At some point all four of them have their arms wrapped around me and I feel so incredibly loved. I flash back to my grandparent’s funeral and wish that I had allowed people to care for me like this then. I realize how much easier it may have made things.

The five of us sit together, with Chris and Tyler sitting on one side of me and Gwen and Caroline on the other. Tyler holds my hand and lets me squeeze it whenever I think I’m going to lose it. Will’s father approaching the podium is one such time. I’ll have to check with Ty at the end of the service to make sure he has all five fingers left.

“Thank you all for coming today. It is under sad and tragic circumstances that we are gathered here. But still, we celebrate. We celebrate the lives of two incredible individuals. Eliana and William were the two most important people in my life.

“Eliana was a good mother and a fine wife. Those of you who spent time with her know that she cared deeply for others and was always involved in one charity or another. She never failed to put others before herself and I loved and respected her for that.

“William was a brilliant young man with a bright future ahead of him. He had recently made some difficult changes so he could focus on what was really important in life, having just finalized his registration for classes at Princeton. He was strong-willed and stubborn…like his father. Perhaps that’s why we butted heads so much. But William was a special young man. I loved my son and I will miss him and his mother very much.”

Gregory Meyer’s farce of a eulogy is cold and emotionless. It makes me sick to hear him say he respected his wife and loved his son. He doesn’t know the first thing about love and respect. If he did he would never have done to us what he did, and right now I wouldn’t be staring at an urn filled with the ashes of the only man I’ll ever love. I watch him saunter back to his seat like he’s walking back from the buffet at the country club and Tyler’s hand takes a big hit to its circulation.

I look at the two urns placed decoratively on a table in the front of the room. All that’s left of him is ash. I won’t even be able to look at his body one more time to say goodbye.
Goodbye.
I wish I had held him longer, kissed him more passionately. Now it’s too late. I’ll never hear his voice, feel his arms around me, or his lips against mine again. I’ll spend the rest of my life hoping I didn’t waste a single second with him, and wondering what our life together might have been like if his father had allowed Will to love whoever he wanted.

An odd thought strikes me as I consider Will’s mother: Will is lucky. It’s a terrible thought, but it’s true. Will lost his mother but he will never have to endure the pain that accompanies that loss. He won’t go through his life feeling like a part of him is missing, living with the regrets of wasted time and senseless arguments. He can rest in peace having died next to the only other person in the world who loved him more than I did.

We walk through the receiving line to give our obligatory condolences to Mr. Meyer, not that he wants or needs them. He’s probably glad they’re out of his way. Now he can go on and be seen in the community as the grieving widower, mourning the loss not only of his wife but of his son as well. I politely shake his hand – even though it makes my skin crawl – and wonder how long until his new
bit of stuff
comes around to be Mrs. Meyer number five.

“Thank you, Layla. Believe it, or not, I’m sorry for you as well. We disagreed on your place in Will’s life, but I know how you felt about him. I know it’s a terrible loss for you.” He almost sounds sincere, but I know that’s not possible since sincerity comes from the heart, which Gregory Meyer does not possess.

“Thank you, Mr. Meyer,” I force myself to say cordially.

“You can come back to Davidson now, you know. Since your relationship with Will is no longer an issue, you and your aunt and uncle are welcome back.” He says it as if granting us permission, which I suppose he is. After all, he does unofficially own this town.

Luke steps in before I say or do something I’ll regret. “That won’t be necessary, Greg. We’re all set up down there. And, well, you’ll understand why I don’t think our working relationship will withstand recent events.” Luke extends his hand, “We’re very sorry for your loss.”

I step outside for some fresh air and stand across the street from the Village Green. I stare out, recalling that day over a year ago when I first met Will. Who would have thought that the boy I ran into that hot summer night would have changed my life so dramatically? I’m a better person because of him. I’m suddenly aware and afraid of what my life will be like without him. A world without Will Meyer is a tragedy and I’m not sure how I will exist in it.

“There’s a reception at the Meyer’s. Are you interested in going?” Claire asks softly as she puts her arm around my shoulder.

“No. I…I can’t,” I stammer.

“I thought you’d say that.” Claire squeezes my shoulder and kisses my hair. “She’s ready,” she calls. I show her my puzzled face and she just smiles. Before I know it, Gwen and Caroline are by my side, whisking me away.

“Where are we going?” I ask as they shuffle me off.

“You’ll see,” Caroline says.

When we pull up to my old house I’m filled with sadness. I get out of the car and just stand there, frozen. “I don’t think I can do this, guys.”

“Yes, you can,” Gwen says.

“There are so many memories here. So much heartache.” I’m standing in the spot where I last saw Will. I remember how he held and kissed me before he left. I remember how full of hope I was when he drove away, so sure I was going to see him in just days…so sure he had the complication of us being together forever all worked out. This is also the same spot I said goodbye to my life here, to the ones I love. “Why are we here?” I ask, trying not to cry.

“C’mon.” Caroline takes my hand and leads me through the side gate to the back of the house and down to the dock. Tears are welling up in my eyes and I’m really not sure if I can contain them.

“Caroline…I can’t…”

“He deserves better than the crap his father spewed out. We’re going to give Will the memorial he should have had.” Caroline squeezes my hand and I follow her down the flagstone path. Chris and Tyler are already on the dock. They’ve got the red blanket Will used on our prom night date spread out with a framed picture of Will in the center. It’s dusk and the candle next to the picture is glowing sweetly.