True Colors (8 page)

“I’d love to do that one day. Just travel off with no agenda or schedule. That must have been awesome.”

“It was. One of the best years of my life actually.”

“I bet.” I grinned. “I can’t wait to get college out of the way and just be able to go, you know?”

“Why wait for college?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I want to get it done.”

“Yeah, I get that. Although I don’t mind being a year older than all the other freshmen. It’s not too bad.”

So he was twenty. For some reason that just made him even more attractive.

“What do you want to do at college?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet. I thought I’d take a bunch of different classes and see what inspires me.”

“You going to UCLA?”

“Most likely, all my brothers and sisters went there.”

“It’s a good school.” He shrugs. “I like it anyway.”

“Have you figured out your major yet?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I like a psychology class I’m taking. That could be cool.”

I raised my eyebrows. Psychology. Maybe he could become my therapist. I certainly needed one! Rubbing my forehead with a wince, my day suddenly slammed back into me, stealing my smile and all the niceness of this heavenly moment.

“Hey.” Eric nudged my arm with his bottle. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Just a bad weekend, I guess.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.” I licked my lips and spun the bottle in my hands. I was too afraid to look at him. I didn’t know what I’d see. Annoyance at not opening up to him maybe? Or sweetness. That would just make me cry. I kept my eyes on the bottle, just waiting for him to say something.

“Okay, well, can I give you some advice then?”

"Do I have a choice?" I couldn’t help stealing a glance at him. Thankfully a small smile was playing with his lips.

“Of course you do. If you don't want to hear it, I won't tell ya."

"Okay, well now I want to know.”

His smile grew to full beam. Man he was gorgeous. I smiled back and felt instantly better, but then I saw how serious his gaze was. His hazel eyes were rich with concern...for me.

My top teeth caught my bottom lip.

“Caitlyn, whatever it is that's eating you up, you either can't do anything about it and you have to let it go, or there is something you
can
do about it and you have to do that thing."

I swallowed and willed my eyes not to start leaking. Finally, once I’d cleared the boulder from my throat, I whispered. “That’s good advice."

"I thought so." His mock smugness made me chuckle. We both grinned at each other and then it got awkward. He was thinking I was cute again and I just had no idea what to do with that. Stella was like a power cat when it came to guys. She knew exactly how to play them. Me? I was the swooning klutz who stumbled over my words and ended up looking like a moron.

I guzzled down the last of my drink and handed over the bottle, praying I didn’t burp in his face. I willed my tummy to behave itself.

“Thanks, Eric. For the drink...and the advice.”

“Anytime, Caity.”

Caity on his lips was like melted chocolate on a marshmallow. It took every ounce of self-control not to blush up a storm and beg him to marry me right then.

I turned away before he could even get a whiff of my thoughts and scurried up my back steps. I paused at the door and waved one last time, nearly flying when I realized he was still at the fence watching me. The look of open admiration on his face made my insides turn to mush.

I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to see it, but at that moment I didn’t care. I might not want this power of sight, but in that second I was almost grateful for it.

Chapter 9

I wasn’t grateful for it! What the hell was I thinking? Grateful! I felt like my brain was going to explode and I’d only been in school for ten minutes. I avoided my parents this morning, not wanting to know if they had any secrets to hide. I didn’t know if they actually had any, but I sure as heck didn’t want to find out. I knew school was going to be bad enough, but I never expected this.

I went to Palisades Charter High School. It catered to the wealthy, Westside families and was considered one of the better schools in L.A. The grounds were pretty wicked. I loved all the outdoor walkways and how the orange brick buildings were connected. If schools could be good-looking, Pali High definitely was. A few movies had even been shot on site. That was testament enough. Listen to me, all school proud, but I was.

Basically the school was filled with privileged kids from privileged homes. I had grown up with most of them and, for some reason, I had been living under the naive assumption that my perfect school was filled with together kids who had no issues.

Man, was I wrong!

No matter where I looked I spotted hidden emotions. It sucked. Was no one in this place genuine? I thought all my friends were nice and amazing, but it turned out half the people I hung out with were self-centered jerks. Chase wasn’t the only guy with a dick for a brain, that’s for sure. The amount of leering looks I spotted walking down the corridor with Stella was revolting. She seemed to love it though. Her smug smile and arched eyebrow said it all, but the longer I stared at her, the more layers seemed to strip away and her smug smile dropped to a wide-eyed insecurity that I didn’t want to know about.

Not Stella. She was the strong one. The confident one. The one who showed me what to do. I didn’t want to know about her inferiority complex. I stopped looking at her after that, making sure I kept myself busy whenever she was talking. Candy Crush on my iPhone became a lifesaver. I knew this would eventually tick her off, but it was all I could handle for now.

Libby bounced past our blue lockers with a friendly hello. I tried to make my smile genuine to counter Stella’s aversion to Libby’s presence, forgetting that both girls were unaware I was seeing it all. Libby flounced away, feeling rejected, but looking like the chirpiest person at school. Stella strutted off with her boobs sticking out, feeling I don’t know what because I couldn’t go there, and looking like the belle of the ball.

So much for a gift. I told the guy he’d picked the wrong person. I couldn’t even look my best friend in the eye and I didn’t want to delve any deeper than that one layer. How was I supposed to help people if I could barely handle a walk down the hall? The bell rang, saving my life. I shuffled off to class avoiding eye contact at all costs. I nearly smashed straight into an open locker at one point, but Micah pulled me out of the way in time. His bemused grin made me blush.

“See you in Biology,” I mumbled to my lab partner and shuffled into class.

Algebra brought with it a new type of anguish, partly because it was Algebra and secondly because the girl sitting next to me was a tightly wound mess. She answered all the questions perfectly when asked, but the look of sheer panic raking her features as she spoke was enough to give me heart palpitations. The guy behind her spent the whole period rolling his eyes at the girl and loathing her...probably for being right all the time. His dark vibes unsettled me, so I kept my eyes on my book, only looking up when I absolutely had to.

The day continued in this fashion. Me spotting things I didn’t want to see. I even noticed Chase looking at me a couple of times. For some weird reason he still wanted me. I couldn’t help wondering if I had sort of become a conquest to him. It made me want to avoid him like the plague and I spent a good portion of my day walking the long route to every class in an attempt to not see him.

I couldn’t believe how quickly my feelings for him had faded. I’d gone from major crush mode and thinking I was going to sleep with him, to pure repulsion. Would I ever be able to like anyone again? Knowing everyone’s secrets just made me want to stay away from them and if they ever found out what I was capable of, they’d treat me like a flu virus. Who wants to hang out with someone they can never hide anything from? It’d be isolation city if I didn’t figure out how to handle this.

When it came to fight or flight, I had always erred on the side of running, but with nowhere to go, I had to settle for head in the sand syndrome, staying quiet and keeping my eyes down for almost every interaction I had.

By the end of the day, Stella was furious with me. I glimpsed the hurt she was feeling over my quiet behavior, but I couldn’t explain it to her. How could I tell her? She’d never look at me the same if she knew. And there’s no way she’d be able to keep it a secret.

I knew I was alone in this and was struggling to face that reality. I’d never been a
blab my feelings to everybody
type of person, but Stella and I usually talked about everything. It was good to have one person to offload to. The idea of calling one of my sisters nudged at me, but I immediately rejected it. Holly would have a hard time quelling her laughter...even if I was in tears. Layla would go into mother mode and that always irked me. No, this time, there was absolutely no one I could confide in.

Or was there?

I rejected the idea instantly. Was I insane? I’d only just figured out Eric thought I was cute, I wasn’t about to ruin it all by telling him I was a teenage mentalist.

No, my options were few...actually they were one.

Escape.

By the end of the next day I was done. Before Dad got home from work and Mom returned from babysitting Layla's kids, I stuffed my car full of everything I thought I'd need. My plan was to drive to the most isolated place I knew and finish high school online. I was sure there was a way I could do it. I hadn’t really researched it yet, but I had my phone and every town had some kind of internet access, didn’t it? My cash card was in my back pocket and I knew I had enough savings to get me through to June at least. I didn’t leave a note for my parents; I figured I’d just email them when I got there.

It was illogical thinking, but two days of intense high school stress was more than enough. I couldn’t seem to control what I saw. Everyone was an open book and I knew I couldn’t keep walking the halls with my eyes on my shoes. I either had to face this head-on or run for the hills. I was weak. I was pathetic...and I didn’t even care.

I knew L.A. pretty well, having lived there my entire life. I have no idea what my stupid brain was thinking, but I decided to skip town by driving past UCLA as if it were the only route I could take. My subconscious must have been working overtime and then, thanks to the traffic lights outside the college, my fool-proof, or epically foolish, plan was foiled. I never intended to turn into campus, but I’d gotten into the wrong lane. As I drove through the massive university I was consumed with the thought that Eric was there somewhere. Probably in class. Probably learning something about how to help psychos like me. A desperate need to see him surged through me and before I could stop myself, I pulled over and asked for directions to Hedrick Summit. That’s where Eric’s dorm room was. I had overheard his mom chatting with mine and stored the information away. I assumed I’d never need it, but it had to do with Eric, so of course I remembered it.

I parked my overloaded Mini and headed for the entrance. My nerves were going mental as I clutched the keys in my hand and walked into the lobby. I had to ask several different people until I found out that Eric lived on the fifth floor in room 503. I made sure to keep every conversation quick, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. I received a few curious frowns, but most people pointed me in the right direction without even looking at me.

The hallways weren’t that crowded. Most people were probably still dribbling in from classes. It was only four o’clock in the afternoon. I got bumped from behind as I came to a stop outside Eric’s room. I ignored the mumbled apology and just stared at the door, unsure whether to knock or walk away.

The decision was stolen from me when the door flew open.

“Oh! Hi.” The guy in front of me looked surprised to see a strange girl ready to knock on his door, but he also looked intrigued. His gaze was open, his eyes sparkling. I noticed a deep scar running down the right side of his face and wondered where he'd got it from. His head tipped to the side, his expression going from friendly to droll. He was obviously used to people staring at him.

I averted my gaze, my cheeks flaring with color.

“Sorry, um. I’m looking for Eric.” I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and glanced at him, making sure to look him straight in the eye.

He obviously appreciated my effort, because a smile grew on his lips and he extended his hand. “I’m Dale and you must be...”

“Caitlyn.”

“Right.” He nodded. I could tell he’d never heard of me before.

“I don’t go here. I just... I’m a friend. Well, maybe. I mean, I don’t...” I took a breath. “He’s my next door neighbor.”

Dale’s smile was in full beam by the time I was done. I was waiting for him to start laughing at me, but he swallowed it back. Talking to him was easy for some reason. Maybe it was because no matter how long I stared at him, he seemed to look the same.

“Well, I haven’t seen him this afternoon, but you’re welcome to wait here for him. I’d wait with you, but I’ve gotta go, sorry.” He felt bad. How sweet.