True Devotion (33 page)

When she was seated in the living room, he took a seat beside her and slipped his hand in his pocket. “I was asked to return something to you.” He handed her Nick’s eagle.

She looked stunned. “I thought it was gone for good.” She looked over at him, obviously struggling to understand.

“Someone asked me to return it, Kelly. That’s all I can tell you.”

Her hand closed around it. Her eyes closed, she swallowed hard and looked incredibly troubled. “Charles?”

Joe was startled by the name, at why she would even think it. He shook his head before he realized it was better if he didn’t answer any questions. “No. But I’m not going to play names.”

She looked sick. “Ryan.”

Joe closed his hand around her fist. “I’m not going to say.”

“I won’t ask,” she agreed softly but already seemed to have curled in on herself, wounded.

“I’m sorry.”

She tried to smile. “It’s okay. You said we needed to talk. Was it this?”

Joe shook his head. “I need to tell you something that’s been tearing my heart out. Something that SEAL security has kept me from telling you . . . but it’s too important for us. I’ve got to tell you. It’s about Nick, how he died.”

She looked over at him, stunned.

He hesitated, uncertain where to begin. “We were on a mission to retrieve something that was being smuggled. It was a success, but as we were leaving I was shot in the shoulder. Nick came back for me, got me into the water, and as we were swimming out to be picked up—” Joe found it difficult to put into words—“Nick was also shot. Once, in the chest. We tried so hard to keep him alive, and he fought so hard. He died, Kelly, despite everything the doctors could do. He died because he came back to save my life.”

What greater love does a man have than he lay down his life for his friend?
He had repeated that honor silently to Nick as he stood at the graveside and knew there was much he would do to make himself worthy of that sacrifice. He watched Kelly, afraid of how she would react.

“You were his best friend, Joe,” she finally whispered. “Did you expect him to do something else?”

“No. But I feel guilty about it every day—that God let me live and not him. Nick had you, talked about having children. Nick died and it nearly destroyed you.”

“I’m glad God sent you home. Had the situation been reversed and Nick came home hurt and you died, he would never have been the same. The grief he felt over losing you would have robbed me of the husband I knew.” She looked over at him and there was pain in her eyes. “You wanted to go out with me to replace what you felt I had been robbed of—a husband, children.”

That she would react this way was his worst fear. “No, Kelly. I admit I was afraid that would be your reaction, so I hesitated to tell you. But, please, believe me when I say that has no bearing on my asking you to date.” He got up to pace the room and shoved his hands into his pockets. “The man who arranged that shipment we were after had arranged several others before then. He was never captured; he disappeared after Nick died. Until last week. He reappeared. We should have caught him last weekend.”

She looked shocked. “You went after the man who killed Nick?”

“And another smuggled shipment.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I need you to understand why I won’t leave the SEALs like Boomer did. I owe Nick.”

“I would never want you to leave the SEALs. It’s who you are.”

“I can’t ask you to risk losing someone else.” He sighed. “I don’t even know what I am asking of you. I was going to see if you would give me another chance, if you would accept the risk I represent, be willing to delay children. But now—I’m not even sure I dare.”

“Joe, I love you.”

He looked over at her, saw the pain and the hope in her eyes. He crossed the room and sat down beside her. “Give me time, Kelly. I really do want a future with you.” He wrapped her in his arms and felt relief when she slid her arms around his waist. “I love you,” he whispered. “I don’t want to break your heart, and I’ve come miserably close to it once. I won’t do that to you again.”

Her hand slipped around his neck and tugged his head down. Joe lingered close even after the kiss ended, resting his forehead against hers. He wanted this, needed this.

“So what do we do now?”

His smile was rueful. Her hands were coiled in his shirt and he didn’t want to talk. Talking only got him into trouble. “We take this slow.” He rubbed the backs of her hands, enjoying the softness, until she sighed and opened them. He caught them in his.

“We can work out the problems,” she reassured him.

He wished he could give her all her dreams now rather than ask her to accept uncertainty. “I’m not sure what the best answers are.”

“Then we’ll find them together with God’s help.” She leaned her head back to look at him. “Did you really mean it when you said you loved me?”

He slowly smiled. “Yes.”

“Say it again.”

“With pleasure.” His kiss left them both breathless. “Shall I say it again?”

She giggled. “Please.”

* * *

Memorial Day on Monday dawned bright and clear.

Kelly opened the glass-encased cabinet and took out the flag that had once draped Nick’s casket. It was still folded tight, no red showing. The grief this year for a fallen hero was different. She knew he had given his life to save Joe’s. She was proud of her husband in more ways than she could put into words.

You saved his life once, Nick. I’m going to save it again.
She loved Joe. The man had carried his burden long enough. She wanted to be his wife, give them a life together. She wanted it, and in the same way “I’m going to marry Nick” had once resonated within her, she made the same decision about Joe.

Children. She had heard Joe’s reservations, felt for him. He didn’t want to be an absentee father, to miss large stretches of his children’s lives while on deployment. It was hard for her to accept waiting years, knowing her age, but she really did understand his position.

She could wait. Joe clearly needed that time, and she would give it. She wouldn’t mind a few years focused just on him. The man deserved that. They would have a family when he was ready. Even if that meant they had to adopt someday in the future. She chose Joe. She loved him.

Her hand closed around Nick’s eagle.

She slipped it off.
Nick, I’m not saying good-bye, but it is time to let go.
She set the medallion on the flag and returned them to the cabinet. Joe would understand the significance. Kelly turned her wedding ring, considered it, and then slowly slipped it off as well. Her hand felt bare. She slipped the ring back on.

With a sigh she pulled the ring off again and reached inside the cabinet and put her wedding ring with the flag and the medallion. Her life with Nick in three emblems—their marriage, his career, and his death. It was time to leave it behind.

Lord, it’s been a three-year journey to this point. Joe and I need to find a footing for the future that is stable and comfortable for both of us. Nick and I had a wonderful life. Let me bring the best of what I learned forward and leave the rest behind.

The man Joe had gone to try and capture—she had always assumed the person responsible for Nick’s “training accident” was dead. Now she knew there was someone still at large, not yet brought to justice. The entire sense of closure she had was ripped away.

Don’t I deserve to have the man responsible for Nick’s death brought to justice? Please, Lord, honor what Nick did with his life. Find this man. Bring him to justice.

She closed the cabinet on the flag, the medallion, and her ring.

She looked again at the medallion. Somehow she was going to have to tell Charles she suspected Ryan was stealing. It was going to shatter her friend. He spoke about his past as something he was proud to have overcome, but she knew it was his soft spot, the place that would hurt him most.

There had only been four people in her house who could have taken the medallion—Joe, Lynnette, Ryan, and Charles. Joe had told her it wasn’t Charles who gave him the medallion to return. No way was it Joe. Lynnette had a cop for a father and one of the strongest moral senses of right and wrong Kelly had seen in a teen. That left Ryan.

Charles had probably told Ryan the same story he had told her about his past—he was the type of father who would want his son to learn from his mistakes. Instead, Ryan must have decided stealing was something cool to do. And if it was Ryan, he wasn’t new to stealing—not when he could steal from her and act perfectly normal around her when he saw her next.

Joe worried that he had almost broken her heart.

Ryan had.

She would have to talk to Charles today.

Thirty-One

* * *

F-16s were breaking overhead in the missing man formation, part of the Memorial Day ceremonies at the Naval Air Base North Island, when the call came in. Charles answered the phone after taking a deep breath.

“Retrieve today’s permutation of the codes; we’ll be ready for it later today. It is quiet there?”

“No one is moving. They heard only about the diversion,” Charles replied, relieved to have this deal almost concluded. “Transfer my money in twelve hours and I’ll send the codes.” He worked hard to keep the tension out of his voice. This was a deal and he was going to treat it as one. It was the one thing the general expected from him. “Then I expect you to call off your shadows. I’m leaving here with my son before you state your intentions to the world.”

“You will enjoy Egypt.”

“Or Paris,” he replied coolly. “I won’t pass along the authorization codes until the money is received.”

“And I won’t call off my shadows until I have them,” the general countered. “We understand each other, you and I. Besides, it is not profitable to harm someone you anticipate doing future business with.” The general laughed. “Twelve hours, my friend, and our deal is done.”

Charles hung up the phone. Twelve hours. It was an eternity. He hoped his plans to get out of this safely worked.

He slid the envelope out of his pocket and tapped it against his palm.

There had been no sleep last night. He thought about the medallion in the drawer and the completed note in the safe. His original plan was ready to go. He’d pass on the activation codes and then leave town. He would take Ryan by boat to a private airfield north of here, and they would fly to Houston to catch their flight to the Caribbean. The medallion and letter he’d leave with a courier to deliver to Joe about the time he and Ryan boarded the plane.

It was all set. It was all thought through. And instead he was ready to throw it to the wind and act before then. Kelly was in too much danger. It ate at him as a nagging fear, the realization there was a hole in the time line where he would be gone and Joe wouldn’t know about the problem.

Charles couldn’t approach Joe directly. But maybe he could directly approach Kelly. She understood security. She’d been married to a SEAL. She would accept information without asking that he give her all the facts behind his statements. He’d finessed harder problems.

He had to get her away from here as close to when he and Ryan left as he could. And he may have already made that necessity not optional just by requesting the contents of this envelope.

* * *

Kelly was surprised at the message from Charles, not that he had called—she had expected that on this Memorial Day holiday—but at his request. He had moved his boat to the dock near Joe’s.

The ceremonies were over and the rest of Memorial Day stretched out ahead of her. She had turned down Joe’s offer to join him, thinking she would rather get in a nap and forget the day, only to lie down and not be able to sleep. Charles’s request had been a good excuse to get out.

“Kelly—over here,” Charles called. “I’m so glad you could come down on such short notice.”

“I wanted to talk to you for a moment too, so I’m glad you phoned.” She walked down the pier to the guest slip he was using. “Your boat is beautiful.” It was a large vessel, beautifully crafted, chrome gleaming with a hull painted a deep blue with white trim.

“Isn’t she? There is a cabin, small office, and a galley below.”

“Is Ryan here?”

“Down at the far end of the pier talking with friends. Listen, the reason I wanted to see you—some time ago I remember you telling me that you had never been outside of California.”

“That’s true.”

“Have you ever thought about it?”

She was puzzled at the question. “Sure, occasionally.”

“Come aboard and sit down for a minute. I need to talk with you.”

Something in his expression made her step down onto the boat and do as he asked. “What is it?”

He looked over at her and sighed. “I’ve got something for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, then handed it to her.

She opened the envelope and was stunned to find there were plane tickets inside. To Paris. “What’s this?”

“A vacation. No strings attached. If I thought you would accept, I would invite you to go with Ryan and me, but I already know that answer. So I’m asking you to go on your own vacation, or better yet convince Joe to go along. There are two tickets there. It’s time for you to take that vacation.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “You’re not safe here.”

She felt cold suddenly. “What do you mean?”

“I hear things. You know, that’s my job. Please, I can’t explain, but it’s important. You need to take a vacation for a couple weeks.”

“You’re going to have to tell me what you heard.” She understood restricted information, but his request made no sense.

He finally nodded. “The men who killed Iris may try to kill you.”

“What?”

“Trust me on this, Kelly. If Joe had the information I do, he would be telling you the same thing. You need to get out of the area for a couple weeks.”