Trust (11 page)

Before I was able to get my key into the door, it was opened from the inside. Instead of Sarah, however, I came face-to-face with Logan. “You’re late.”

“If I knew I was expecting company, I would’ve tried to get here sooner.”

I took another three steps inside before I noticed it wasn’t just Logan. There in my living room sat all of my friends. Sarah and Lily were at one end of the couch with their heads together. That sight alone caused me to worry. Those two on their own could be forces of nature. Together . . . I didn’t want to begin to imagine the trouble they could get themselves into. Daren was sitting in one of the chairs, his girl, Gina, on the floor at his feet.

“What's going on?”

Sarah stood and walked toward me, a sly smile on her face. She was up to something. “You’re late. I thought you’d be home almost an hour ago.”

“So I’ve heard.” I let my gaze fall on each of my friends’ faces before returning my attention to Sarah.

Grabbing hold of both my hands, Sarah pulled me farther into the room.

The door closed behind me seconds before Logan appeared at my side. “You didn’t think we’d let you celebrate your birthday alone, did you?”

I was beginning to get a bad feeling about this. “I appreciate you guys coming over, but I would rather be left alone tonight.”

Logan clasped my shoulder and squeezed. “Not a chance, my friend. We’re not letting you celebrate alone. Not this year.”

I looked around the room again and realized, unless I wanted a fight, I was going to have to go along with whatever they had planned. It wasn’t as if it mattered. The one thing I truly wanted for my birthday, I couldn’t have. “Fine. What did you have in mind? I’m sure we can order takeout or something, and I think I have a few board games around here.”

Daren stood and ran his hands down the front legs of his slacks to smooth out any creases. It was then I realized they were all much too dressed up for a night in.

“I know what you’re going to say, Stephan,” Daren said, “and we’ve already thought of the entourage of reporters following you around.”

While I wasn’t at all interested in going out, my curiosity was piqued. I raised my eyebrow in question and waited for him to continue with whatever this brilliant plan of theirs was.

“It’s a private party. Logan and Lily are friends of the couple hosting. It’s a small gathering—no more than twenty people, including us. And most importantly, no press allowed.”

I didn’t need for him to spell it out for me, but I wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. “You want to take me to a lifestyle party?”

Lily stepped in front of me. The look on her face was pure innocence. I didn’t buy it for a second.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “This is why you’ve been acting strange the last few days, isn’t it?”

A guilty expression crossed her face for a moment, but it was soon replaced with determination. “I knew if we told you ahead of time that you would come up with some excuse not to go.”

“I don’t need an excuse, Lily. I can simply refuse.”

“Come on, man. You need to get out of here for a while. All you’ve done for the last three months is go to work and come home. I understood the need not to go to social events while Brianna was here—she needed you—but now what’s your excuse? Sure, she’s not here anymore, but your life’s not over. Tomorrow is your birthday, and as your friends, we are taking you out.”

I stared at Daren in disbelief. They were all ganging up on me. Did they really think I needed some sort of an intervention?

Sarah tugged on my left hand. “Come on. Please? It’s just a casual dinner party with maybe a little play afterward. It’ll be fine. I promise. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We just want you to come with us.”

Tilting my head toward the ceiling, I closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was shut myself in my bedroom and get lost in Brianna’s words. However, I knew better than to think that was going to happen anytime soon. Even if I refused to go with them, I was in serious doubt that they would leave me in peace for the rest of the evening.

Opening my eyes, I briefly looked at each one of them before settling on Logan. “What if someone there goes to the press? It wouldn’t be unheard of, you know.”

“We’ve got you covered. Lily and I know everyone coming tonight. No one will say anything.”

I sighed. “If I do this, you all are going to promise me that I’ll never come home to an ambush like this again. Agreed?”

Logan slapped me on the back, while the rest of them smiled at me. Although he didn’t say anything, I knew he was worried about me. He, more than anyone, understood the impact of today’s anniversary. If I had to guess, he’d been the mastermind of the entire evening—his way of making sure I wasn’t dealing with my grief alone.

“What time do we have to be there?”

Daren checked his watch. “About an hour, but we should leave soon. It’s outside the city, and it’s about a forty-minute drive.”

Nodding, I loosened my tie and headed toward my bedroom. “Give me ten minutes.”

I didn’t wait for a response before closing the door. If I was going to be forced to socialize tonight, I needed a few moments to put on my game face. I had a feeling tonight was going to be more difficult for me than any of them would understand.

Logan parked the car along the driveway, and we walked up a winding path to the front door. The house was modern in design with lots of windows, all of which were covered with thick curtains—the only telltale sign of what kind of party this was.

I’d debated the entire ride whether or not I should demand they take me home and call off this charade. The only thing that had stopped me was when I saw how happy my acceptance had made my friends. They cared about me and were attempting to help. I couldn’t fault them for that, even if I didn’t exactly agree with their methods.

A man who looked to be in his forties greeted us at the door. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place him. “Logan. Lily. Welcome.”

“Hi, Daniel. Sorry we’re late.”

He waved his hand in dismissal. “We were just sitting down to dinner. Your timing is perfect.”

After quick introductions, Daniel led us into a large dining room where all the other guests were already situated. I took note of how everyone was arranged around the table. Unless I was mistaken, everyone was in couples.

That assumption was cemented once the meal began. While every guest was seated at the table, each couple’s dynamic began to show. Even Logan and Lily, and Daren and Gina, slipped into their Dominant and submissive roles with ease. It might not be obvious to everyone, but for those who knew what to look for, it was easy to spot.

Sarah and I were the only exception. She sat at my left, eating her food and chatting happily with a woman I heard introduce herself as Missy. For my part, I focused on my meal and let the conversation flow around me. If someone spoke to me directly, I would answer, but for most of dinner everyone let me be.

After dinner, the group moved into a large, well-lit room. Most of the space was filled with various seating areas clearly meant to encourage conversation. Along the one wall was a buffet of desserts and bottles of water. Daren immediately gravitated in the direction of the food, taking Gina with him, while the rest of us moved to one of the larger seating areas.

For the first half hour, most of the couples talked with one another—a few even wandered over and introduced themselves. Logan and Lily said they knew everyone in attendance, but to my surprise, Daren and Gina knew most of them as well. They’d been living in the area for less than a year. Apparently they got around more than I’d realized. Then again, I hadn’t been active in the local scene since Tami.

Thoughts of Tami led me back to the two hours I’d spent being questioned by Agent Marco that afternoon. One of the many topics of conversation had included my ex. He’d spoken with her, and of course, she’d been more than happy to leave him with the impression that I was an abuser and a manipulator. Agent Marco had eaten it up and used it to try and goad me into admitting some sort of wrongdoing. Oscar hadn’t allowed that to go on long, however, before he brought up the fact that Tami had never pressed any sort of charges against me.

That simple fact had only redirected his line of questioning. He’d wanted to know why I had ropes in my condo and how I’d learned to tie them so well. He’d made it sound like Jonathan Reeves had intently inspected my handiwork while bound, which wasn’t the case. His being unconscious while I’d trussed him up made that feat impossible.

Thinking about Brianna’s father inevitably led me to wonder about the woman herself—not that she was ever far from my thoughts. She would never have been able to come with me to a party like this. Not only were there too many people she didn’t know, but there would eventually be play taking place on the far side of the room. This wasn’t what those in the lifestyle called a sex positive event. Any play that occurred would be done without penetration. That wouldn’t matter to Brianna, though. She and I had never ventured into my playroom. For all I knew, just the sight of the equipment would send her into one of her panic attacks. Add to that her reaction to the simple scene we’d watch Logan and Lily perform . . . it wasn’t something I would ever chance again.

That was if I ever got the chance to do anything with Brianna in the future. I was still worried about this deal she’d agreed to with Ross, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. The letter I’d sent was risky enough. Contact was supposed to be off-limits for the time being. If I wrote something that could be taken out of context and Ross decided his hatred of me was more important, I could easily find myself dealing with a whole new set of problems. If I thought the media was bad now, they would be ten times worse given access to private communication like that. I was only hoping that Ross’s loyalty to Brianna overrode everything else.

Movement on my right drew my attention back to my friends. Daren was leading Gina to the far side of the room where the small play area was set up. It wasn’t anything fancy—a Saint Andrew’s cross hung against the wall, and there was a spanking bench off to the side. I also took note of a short table with various impact toys: several floggers, canes, and paddles. It was a tiny sampling, all things considered.

“Hey.” Sarah sat on the edge of her seat, frowning at me. “You’re not enjoying yourself at all, are you?”

I smiled at her, even though I knew it was weak. “It’s not your fault.”

Sarah reached for my hand and squeezed. “Is there anything we can do?” She paused. “I’ll even let you spank me if you want.”

If she’d not winked at me, I might have reacted differently, but her teasing made me chuckle. The sound was enough to garner the attention of Logan and Lily who were sitting on her other side.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

“What did we miss?” Lily asked.

I shook my head, but Sarah felt the need to fill her in. “I offered to let him spank me.”

“Oh. And?” The expression on Lily’s face was far too eager in my opinion.

Sarah released an exaggerated sigh. “He turned me down.”

“Too bad. I would have let you spank Lily, too, if you wanted. It is your birthday after all.”

Although Logan and Lily were monogamous, I knew Logan’s offer was sincere. I was his best friend, and Lily and I had a history. Plus, they all seemed to be grasping at straws to try and turn my mood around. Unfortunately, there was only one person who could make what I was feeling disappear, and she wasn’t here. I would have given anything to spend the evening with Brianna—just the two of us. Knowing my one birthday wish would never be granted, and not wanting to ruin my friends’ evening, I made an effort to at least play the part they needed me to play. I could do that for one night.

Chapter 10

Brianna

I didn’t want to go in there.

The last two days were awful. After my “episode” in Dr. Perkins office on Friday, she’d given me a sedative and sent me home with Cal and Jade to “rest.” They’d both hovered over me like mother hens, trying to get me to take another dose of the sedative anytime they thought I was getting worked up about something. Taking it once had been enough, though. I didn’t like the way it made me feel—as if I weren’t connected to my body. It reminded me too much of how I’d been when I first came to live with Stephan. I didn’t want that again.

Because our session had been cut short on Friday, Dr. Perkins had insisted I come see her on Monday. That was how I found myself standing outside her office with what felt like a swarm of bees buzzing around in my stomach.

“It’ll be okay, Anna. I promise.”

Jade’s reassurance did little to help the chaos in my stomach. If anything, it made it worse.

Before Jade could attempt any more encouragement, Dr. Perkins’s door opened, drawing our attention. “Good morning, Anna.”

I swallowed, trying to push down the fear.

When I stepped forward, Jade touched my arm. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you?”

I shook my head. No. If I was going to find out what Cal had told Dr. Perkins about Stephan, I had to do it on my own. Didn’t I?

Dr. Perkins smiled as I walked past her into her office. I took a seat on the couch, the same as I’d done the last two times I’d been there.