Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (27 page)

“I don’t think so,” he says smoothly
and my eyes fly open and he grins twistedly. “I think I’d rather see you touch
yourself love.”

“Here?” I whisper and his eyes
darken even more.

“Yes here. Open your fucking legs
Nell and let me see you touch that pretty pussy of yours. I want to see what
you do when I’m not here to satisfy you.”

Gazing into his eyes I moan at
the heat that I can see there and I know that I’m going to rise to the
challenge and give him a show that he won’t forget. Lifting my hand up I suck
gently on my fingers and he groans. “Yes, get them wet honey. Now touch
yourself.”

I lower my fingers, tracing them
over my breasts slowly, feeling my nipples tightening as the material of my
blouse catches on them. I brush my fingers back and forth moaning and I hear
him gasp, and then I slowly lower my hands to my pussy and using my fingers I
cant my hips and spread my lips open. “Yes,” he gasps frantically. “You’re so
wet baby, touch yourself.”

Still looking at him I reach
lower and dip my fingers into the wetness there, groaning at the feeling, and
then I trace back finding the nub of my clit standing erect. I centre my
fingers there starting up a fast motion over it and Sid stares at me
fascinated. “Rub harder,” he commands and I gasp, staring at him and the
massive erection tenting his jeans.

“You as well,” I moan out and he
smiles darkly.

“Oh, yes love. I’m going to jack
off and you’re going to watch me and then I’m going to come all over you.” I
moan at this erotic thought and he curses suddenly, jerking down his jeans, and
drawing out his long, thick cock. He licks his hand, his tongue obscenely pink,
and then lowering the hand still clutching my knickers he draws it down himself
once, twice, before settling into a sharp rhythm. He barks out my name and when
I stare at him he jerks his head towards my pussy. “Keep going,” he commands
and I obey.

A part of me is watching from the
side lines in amazement at this stranger who touches herself frantically,
petting her clit while she watches her lover shuttling his hand hard over his
cock, rubbing over the top and twisting the mushroomed dome so that drops of
creamy come leak out. He groans and reaches down to tug at his balls and
suddenly the knowledge of how we look in this most public of places, lewd and
free, brings me back to myself and I cry out loudly, coming so hard and
forcefully I can’t help myself and I sag against the wall groaning and feeling
the throbbing of my pussy as I watch him.

He’s staring at me one end of his
lip curling up almost in a sneer, and his motions are becoming choppy and
erratic. “Yes watch me Nell,” he groans in a harsh whisper. “See what you’ve
done. Just looking at you …” He stops and moans throwing his head back, and as
if the spell is broken by the loss of eye contact I stumble towards him and drop
to my knees ripping open my top and exposing my bare breasts.

“On me,” I moan, my eyes focused
only on the movements of his hand and the length of his cock gleaming wetly in
the low light.

He shouts out loud. “Yes Nell
fuck,” and then he’s coming, warm spurts of semen hitting my breasts in rapid
pulsations. It seems to go on forever but not long enough, and when he’s
finished we stay still, our gazes locked and our chests rising and falling as
we suck in breath, until finally he slumps down next to me and whipping his top
off he rubs it over my breasts cleaning them gently.

 Finished, he throws his
arms around me and we rest there for a second and despite the dangerously
public nature of what we’ve just done I’ve never felt so safe with anyone. He
suddenly lets out a short, almost astonished laugh and drags my face up to look
at him. “You okay?” he asks quietly.

“I’m fine.”

He laughs in relief. “Fuck, I
don’t know what got into me tonight but I swear Nell, no one but me is ever
going to see that. There’s no cameras of any kind in this lift.”

“How do you know? You only took a
cursory look,” I ask idly and then stare at him as he blushes.

“I might have looked earlier,” he
says shamefacedly and at my interrogatory look he sighs. “Okay I might have
asked the receptionist as well.”

 I burst out laughing. “So
not so much of the drunken exhibitionism then? I thought I’d found a new kink
in you.”

He looks at me earnestly. “I
won’t deny that I’ve fucked women in front of the boys and other people
before,” he says slowly and I nod at him to carry on. “But that’s never going
to happen with you Nell. No matter how drunk I am and really I was only merry
tonight, your safety and comfort come first. I’m never going to put you in a
situation where another man can look at you.” He bares his teeth slightly and
his grip tightens. “Fuck, just the thought of that makes me feel a bit
murderous.”

I stare at him for what seems
like ages and he opens his mouth to say who knows what but at that point with
the worst timing known to man, a voice comes over the intercom.

“You have a little problem Sir?”

We stare at each other and then
instantaneously break into laughter. “No we’re fine mate,” Sid says finally,
rising and stabbing the button. Standing together we help each other get dressed
quickly, Sid making me stand in front of him to hide the stains on his t-shirt.
We brush fingers through each other’s hair and check our appearances and Sid
groans. “I’m knackered now,” he admits. “I think you’re actually going to have
to help me to the room.”

I laugh. “Really, granddad? You
rock stars should come with some sort of disclaimer, warning us that reality
doesn’t always live up to the pretty package.”

Sid grabs me, tickling me
unmercifully until I’m almost on my knees while he shouts out something about
showing me what his pretty package can do, which is how the truly appalled
middle aged couple find us when the lift doors open. I have to say that the
half an hour spent while Sid attempts to explain this to security are well
worth it, and if I use my phone to video it for the boys no one should think
badly of me.

Sid

The next day I sit in our suite,
idly watching TV while Charlie talks to Bill who has turned up from London, or
hell, or wherever he currently resides, when Bram slouches into the seat next
to me. “Did you speak to him about the fan mail?” he asks, and I nod towards
the corner of the room where ten bulging sacks are resting.

“The rest are on the way
according to Mona.”

“What did you say?”

“I said that it wasn’t his
responsibility to tell the girls to fob off fans with a photo and a stamped
autograph. The fans are the reason that we’re here and incidentally why the
balding twat can afford Hugo Boss suits and Barker shoes.”

He laughs and then glares at
Bill. “I fucking hate that. I actually like answering the letters. Makes me
feel like a real rock star you know?”

I smile because I do. All those
years as kids dreaming big I’d treasured a letter that I got from David Bowie
that had been truly gracious. “I’m just glad that Mona let us know.”

“Did you tell her that she’s in
charge of dealing with this from now on?”

“I did. I also raised her money.”

He smirks. “Bet he wasn’t happy
about that.”

I stare at Bill considering. “He
thinks the money belongs to him. I’ve seen it happen before. He thinks he runs
us, but actually he wasn’t as bothered about it as I thought he would be. He’s
up to something. He’s way too happy for one of Satan’s handmaidens.”

Bram laughs, and then obviously tired
of the subject of Bill he looks around the suite. “Where are the girls?”

“Well unless they’re lying under
the table together they’re not here,” I say sarcastically, and then regret it
when he turns a face full of delight towards me. “No, no,” I head him off
straightaway. “They’ve gone shopping.”

He looks slightly disappointed by
this boring fact and then rallies. “We could watch some porn.”

I choke on my coffee and look at
the clock. “It’s ten o’ fucking clock in the morning. That’s actually a bit deviant
watching porn this early. Sort of takes you into grubby old raincoat man
territory.”

“It fucking does not,” he says
indignantly before catching my smile at which he raises a finger at me.
“Whatever, twat. I’ve got to get it while I can, seeing as the last time I
watched it with your woman she spoilt it for me.”

“My woman watched porn with you?”
I say slowly, feeling a chill run down my back and attempting not to talk
through my teeth. “I’d love to hear about this.”

Seth slides onto the arm of the
sofa. “Think you’d better tread carefully mate,” he warns Bram who looks so
horrified I’m immediately appeased.

“Fuck no Sid, she’s like a sister
to me you know that. It’s just that I was watching it on the bus the other day
and she came and sat down right fucking next to me.”

Seth and I exchange looks. “Was
she embarrassed?” he asks carefully.

“Was she fuck? She just sat there
asking me all these fucking questions about which one was married to which one,
and then criticizing their haircuts and underwear. I had to tell her in the end
that it wasn’t fucking ‘EastEnders’.”

I smirk. “She was playing you.”
Seth laughs and Bram looks bemused.

“Do you think so? Honestly,
that’s a bit of a relief because I thought I’d got her hooked on it or put her
off sex for life. Mind you having sex with you is probably enough to do that.
Still I don’t think she was playing me. She’s too sweet for that.”

“Did you carry on watching it?”
Seth asks.

“No.”

“So what happened then?”

“I put that fucking real
housewives of shit county on that she likes.” I burst out laughing and Bram
sags. “She was fucking playing me,” he gripes.

“Don’t take it personally,” I say
lightly. “She’s just cleverer than you.”

He nods contemplatively.
“Actually mate that’s the truth. She’s probably cleverer than all of us.” Then
he looks at me utterly seriously which doesn’t happen a lot with Bram, because
he likes to keep reality hidden under jocularity. “Clever or not Sid, she’s a
keeper you do know that don’t you?” I see Seth nod seriously and I nod slowly.
“I mean it,” he says. “All the fucking girls that you’ve been with, this is the
only one that I’ll ever be mad at you for fucking up. She’s an absolute diamond
and she cares for you.”

I swallow hard thinking of last
night, not just the red hot lift sex which had far surpassed anything that I’ve
ever known, but afterwards when we had curled up in bed together talking
softly, and this morning when I woke up to find that she’d nipped out to buy me
an expresso and fresh croissants from my favourite bakery round the corner from
the hotel. I know that I need to speak to her and soon, and tell her that
circumstances have changed and we’re no longer casual.

In truth I don’t think we ever
have been. I’m not letting her go because despite all my misgivings about
myself, I
can’t
let her go. It hurts me to even think of not seeing her
bright head nestled against my shoulder and her clear, curious, warm gaze that
always softens when she sees me, as if she sees something different from what
the rest of the world does. As if she sees the me that fell apart years ago,
that unknown to her she’s slowly rebuilding bit by bit.

Something of what I’m thinking
must show on my face because both Seth and Bram relax subtly and I realise to
my amazement how much she’s crept right into the heart of the band. We’re an
insular group by nature. We’ve had too many betrayals and people selling us out
not to be, but something in her has relaxed us enough to let her in. I realise
with a sudden certainty that this is it. She’s it for me and there will never
be another like her. If I let her go I will never again feel this confused mess
of happiness and abject terror that she inspires in me, and while a part of me
misses the old numbness I can’t regret the fact that I feel truly alive for the
first time in years, if not ever. I tense suddenly, absolutely certain that I
should tell her now, find her and take her in my arms and tell her what she
means to me. Tell her that I lo…. I become aware of Charlie and Bill hovering
over me, Bill with a piece of paper in his hand.

“What?” I ask sharply, dimly
registering that Charlie is pale and looks worried, while Bill almost looks
like he’s going to come in his pants. That’s when I know that it’s something
that’s going to hit me hard. That’s the only thing that really makes the prick
happy at the moment.

“Sid,” Charlie says almost
reluctantly. “Bill’s come into some information that he thinks you should look
at.”

“Don’t speak for him Charlie. Let
him speak for himself.” I see Bill smile slightly and just like that I feel
myself tense.

“Sid, it pains me to bring this
information to you but you need to know. When I first met Miss Slater I thought
that I recognised her.”

I know my teeth are bared and I
half rise off the sofa but Bram grabs me holding onto my shoulder. “Get on with
it Bill,” he says sharply. “I don’t like the way you’re dragging this on, so
speed up man or I’ll speed you up myself.” I listen to his words, a part of me
grateful that as ever he stands up for me. However, the other part is waiting
for the blow that’s Bill’s about to deliver.

He hands over the piece of paper.
“I did some digging and found out that she’s actually been deceiving you all
for quite a while now.”

Charlie stirs, his gaze trying to
communicate something urgently to me as I delay looking at the words that I
know are going to kill me. “She hasn’t deceived us,” he says clearly. “She just
didn’t share something that was obviously hideously painful for her. That’s not
deception, that’s just self -preservation.”

Bill sneers. “Well that’s just
you Charlie. You’re obviously more charitable than I. I tend to look on it as
lying and exposing you all to a lot of gossip, particularly due to the
circumstances of the death and the fact that it’s becoming known outside our
circle that Sid’s seeing her, a fact that I would have advised both parties to
conceal.” He drones on, all teeth and words, but at the mention of death my
eyes drop to the paper. It’s a photocopy of an old article from The Sun, dated
three years ago with the headline ‘Kaleidoscope Guitarist Dies from Overdose’,
and my heart sinks as I read it.