Twin Ties 2: Twin Affairs (23 page)

“They’re getting better,” Evan mumbled.

“How about the broken ribs?”

“They’re fine.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Charlie huffed. “I was losing my mind worrying about you. You know that, right? You’re gonna put your old man in an early grave if you don’t get there first.”

Jaw clenched, Evan stared back at his father.

“You’re not even sorry you did it, are you?”

Evan didn’t blink. He swallowed thickly, his dimples denting his cheeks. “No. I’m not.”

“What the hell am I gonna do with you?”

“Does he make you angry because he’s a lot like Mom? Because he is. He’s just like her,” Brennan said, breaking the tension with his crisp, clear voice with its hint of a Southern accent. “Have you told him that? He even looks like her. We both do, but you know that. I mean, it’s obvious. Evan does things that might not make sense to you because he believes it’s for the greater good. He puts the good of others above his own well-being. He also appreciates things keenly like she does. Or, well… did. Anyway, it’s not a bad thing, in my humble opinion.”

Complete, perfect silence descended on the room. Jimmy cleared his throat. “I’m, um, going to head home, give you three some space. You know where I’ll be if you need anything.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Jimmy.” Charlie nodded, then rose to his feet, groaning quietly under his breath, “Jesus Christ.”

On the short walk to the door where Jimmy was waiting, Charlie took the opportunity to check out some of the changes in décor of the living room and the side bedroom that had been his. The house even felt different, the memories of Evan’s childhood buried under layers of foreign new realities of which Charlie was not a part. The bed, the chaise, the plants and paintings, the altar—so many things caught his eye.

“I owe you one,” Charlie said in a travel-worn, gravelly voice, low and confidential as Jimmy headed out onto the stoop. “You’re a good man. What the hell I’d do without you watching out for them, I’ll never know.”

“Don’t sweat it. Good luck with ‘em, though,” Jimmy said, looking despondent. “I’ve just been at a loss.”

Charlie nodded, his expression darkening.

“G’night.”

“Night.”

Pushing his luggage out of the way, Charlie hovered in the hall and said, “Look, the last thing I want is to kick you out of your room after all you’ve been through, Brennan. I’ll take the couch.”

“Dad, you don’t have to take the couch,” Evan sighed.

“We already talked about it,” Brennan said. “I’ll bunk with Evan. I don’t mind. Really, I’d feel worse making you sleep out here.”

“Are these just your momma’s manners kicking in? Be straight with me, now.”

“Maybe a little. Doesn’t change anything.”

Charlie stared at the son he’d counted as forever lost to him for so very long, seeing some of his own innate stubbornness in him. Brennan stared back, not budging an inch, not backing down. More like his father than he’d ever know.

“Dad, just take the room,” Evan said, ever the peacemaker. “There are clean sheets and pillows on the bed already. If you want to grab a shower or anything, I’ll help Bren get supper ready.”

There was a pause before Charlie relented, saying to Brennan, “All right then. But if you change your mind, tell me.”

“Sure.”

They had about an hour and a half of peace. Charlie got settled. The food was prepared, with Brennan handling the pasta salad and Evan grilling salmon steaks. Father and sons sat together around the table, eating quietly, with much praise given to Brennan for his healthy contributions. Charlie asked about Brennan’s life in Louisiana. Evan let them talk, staying out of it for the most part. The sight of Brennan reacting proudly to Charlie’s inquiries made him happy. Evan wanted Charlie to be proud of Brennan, just like he was. Evan also had no idea how to go about bringing Brennan and Charlie closer, so he was glad to see them each making an effort on their own.

It went well enough, but Evan sensed something else, something in his father’s glances over to him, darkness behind his eyes. There was mistrust there, and simmering anger. Evan couldn’t figure it out.

They finished their meal and the boys cleaned up, side-by-side at the sink, not daring to look at each other too often, or make physical contact except when necessary. They passed plates and silverware, their fingers grazing as Evan washed and Brennan dried.

Evan found himself dreading the moment when the dishes were done, expecting the tension to break and some of the many secrets to begin to be revealed.

The last cup was set in the cupboard. The last pan was stacked in the drying rack. Evan turned and Brennan went to hang up the dishrag on the towel bar on the far wall.

“There’s something we need to address before I head in for the night. It’s been a long day, but we’ve got us some air to clear,” Charlie said. Cold fear gripped Evan’s heart, but he stood his ground, not blinking, not showing any sign of weakness.

He asked, “What is it, Dad?”

“Is there anything you two want to tell me?” Charlie glanced between them.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, he knows
, Evan bemoaned inwardly.

“About what?” Brennan replied innocently, saving Evan from having to respond.

“Well, how about what I hear about people being permitted to live in my damn house without my say so. Having friends is one thing, but letting anyone move in is way over the line and I won’t have it.”

Evan’s eyes fluttered closed, the blood quickly drained from his face. Brennan gave him a look like it was taking every ounce of his will not to go to Evan and hold him, to take his hand and prop him up through the interrogation.

“Luka is my boyfriend, not my friend,” Brennan answered sharply. “Yes, he’s been here a lot, helping take care of things while Evan recovers from his injuries. As an adult who pays rent for my room, I didn’t think I needed to ask permission for that.”

“You’re only eighteen years old and this is still
my
house. You
do
need permission! I don’t know how Maggie raised you, but there’s no way in
hell
you’re going to bring men to sleep here with you, taking advantage of you under
my
goddamned roof!”

“Don’t you dare speak badly about her,” Brennan said with shock. “I’m not your
child
. You don’t get to tell me what to do with my personal life.”

“
You
are
my child and you will mind me, boy!”

“Stop!” Evan yelled above both of their voices. “Both of you,
stop
! Dad, Luka isn’t the one who’s been living here. Alek has. Brennan just said that to protect me. He never asked anyone to move in.”

“Who’s Alek?”

“He’s my boyfriend. Okay? I’ll spell it all out for you. Everyone was right about me. Everyone who made fun of me, calling me a faggot like it was the worst thing in the world to be. Ever since I was little I knew. I tried not to be. I tried everything, but I am who I am, whether I like it or not. I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t have you hate me, too.”

His voice wavered and Brennan was there beside him before Evan even saw him come over, with one hand on Evan’s shoulder, looking hard into his eyes like he could transfer courage to him that way, right through the air.

“Keep going,” Brennan said. “Tell him about Alek.”

Now Charlie looked pale, his elbows planted on the table, his hands folded in front of his mouth, but his gaze was steady and fixed on Evan.

“Alek and I were in a relationship before I was attacked, and he stuck by me during everything. He was at the hospital. Alek took care of me there and when I came home. He never left. Not once. He’s been helping pay the bills and taking care of the house when I couldn’t move around really well. It’s because of him I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in my whole fucking life. I’m in love with him, and yeah, I asked him to live here with me. I can’t imagine how Bren and I could’ve gotten through these past few months without his help and support. And I’m not going to let you guilt me into being ashamed of who I am anymore. I don’t care who knows.”

There was a long, drawn out moment of silence between them, tense and thick, before Evan continued. When he did, his tone was drastically changed from tentative to furious.

“And how
dare
you say those things to Brennan?! Maggie did a
hell of a job
raising him. He’s braver than me, stronger than me, smarter than me. He’s proud of who he is and you do
not
get to make him feel bad about himself after everything you’ve put him through, wondering if you would accept him after you gave him away.
You gave him away!
How could you do that?! We should have been together! We should have had each other! We’re twins, for Christ’s sake! Didn’t you ever think we’d miss each other?! That we’d
know
in our hearts what cruelty you forced on us?”

Charlie swallowed thickly, lowering his gaze, eyes shining with unshed tears. He appeared to brace himself for a blow, waiting for the next cutting words to come, and cut they surely did.

“
That’s why I did it!
” Evan screamed, his voice breaking apart. “That’s why I took all those pills and tried to off myself! You stole that piece of me and I just couldn’t be empty anymore. When you took Brennan from me, I always knew, deep down. It left a scar. It never healed. And I didn’t want to live that way. For years, fucking YEARS I merely
existed
. I survived. For you. Even though
you
did this to me. To
us
. How could you?! God damn it,
HOW COULD YOU?!
”

Evan saw his father hide his face in his hands to mask his tears, spilling over now. Taking a shaky step backward, Evan stumbled into Brennan’s arms which held him up. It lasted only a second then he was pushing away, toward the back door. Brennan followed. But Evan stopped just inside the threshold.

“If you’re not okay with Alek living here with me, then I’ll move out. You won’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m not a child. You can go wherever you want and forget about me if it’s easier. I’m making my own family. It’s your choice whether you want to be a part of it or not.”

The door slammed behind Brennan as they left. Evan walked out into the yard, trying to catch his breath.

At the table, Charlie broke into wrenching sobs, the pain of permanently losing Maggie, the guilt of facing Brennan, the terror of almost losing Evan again—it drowned him.

When he managed to pull himself together, he glanced heavenward, and said in a whisper, “He always was your son. His mother’s son, through and through. What have I done to them? How do I fix this, Maggie? Tell me, please. Give me a sign. I’ll do anything.
Anything
. Just help me help our boys. Help me find a way to make this better instead of worse.”

The stillness of the evening did bring one small miracle. There was no sound of the Chevy’s engine turning over. There was only the chirping of crickets, the hooting of owls and the murmuring of two low voices, whispering conspiratorially in the dark.