Twisted Pursuits (14 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

JORDAN HAD CURSED THE WORDS
the moment they had left his lips. How would he live under the same roof with her without dying of wanting her? What had he been thinking inviting her to stay in his house, he argued with himself as he drove to his townhouse and relinquished her into the care of Mrs. Stewart. She had looked so soft and vulnerable in the hospital bed that he had wanted to protect her, not to mention that he felt horrible at the way he had treated her during their last encounter. He marveled that he could still consider her feelings after the way she had cruelly used and discarded him. It seemed he would never learn but there was no sense crying over spilt milk.

In the week that followed he found that his imagination would be his only worry as he had not seen her once in all the time she had been there. Yet images of her just down the hall from him plagued his thoughts. Despite the knowledge that what they had was no more, or never was he thought bitterly, he still yearned for her in an elemental way that was quite disturbing.

For fear that he might actually seek her out, he went to work early and came home late and tried his best to forget the sensual creature residing in his home. He had made daily checks after her health with Mrs. Stewart who assured him that she was doing fine.

Presently, he dragged himself out of bed. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand he discovered that he had overslept. His Friday night meeting with the guys had turned into a drink out and they had gone on to a club. Therefore, it was almost morning when he had gotten home. Hurriedly, he showered and dressed after which he made his way downstairs, pausing for a cup of coffee. Lauren would be leaving today, that is if she had not left yesterday. He did not know if the thought made him happy or sad.

He froze as he saw her sitting on the sofa, her head resting on its back, looking for all the world as if she was about to pass out. Instinctively, he rushed over to her.

“Are you alright?” he asked frowning at her pale, drawn features.

“Yes, I’m fine”, she responded weakly, opening her eyes a fraction, “I am going to see Doctor Hedley today and hopefully be out of your hair”. She laughed nervously.

“You are fit to go nowhere but bed”, he held up a hand to stop her as she made to protest, “I’ll call Doc. He’ll come and see you here”.

Apparently she thought better of arguing with him as she merely lay flat on the chair and closed her eyes again.

She made no objections and he supposed she was too weak to, as he called Doctor Hedley and lifted her into his arms and brought her upstairs. True to his word, Doctor Hedley turned up less than half an hour later. Although Jordan kept his distance and gave them some space, he resolved to talk with Doctor Hedley before he left. He was shockingly troubled by her appearance. Up until that morning, he was of the impression that her illness was only minor, now he was not so sure.

To his utter chagrin, Doctor Hedley seemed more flustered than ever, telling him he had nothing to worry about as long as Lauren had someone to keep an eye on her. He would have liked to question Doctor Hedley some more but he practically ran out the door, muttering that he had an emergency.  Resigned, Jordan left for work, reconciling that he would allow her to rest and return early so he could speak with her.

LAUREN PACED HER BEDROOM AT
Jordan’s house. What was she going to do? Between bouts of morning sickness, dizziness and blocking out twice in the past week, she had found that the joys of having a child had its fair share of misery. Not that she minded. However hiding it from Jordan was more unsettling than all of her other worries combined and their encounter that morning had escalated her fears. As if she did not have enough to contend with, Doctor Hedley’s visit had been the icing on the cake.

He had informed her that there was a strong possibility that she was experiencing fainting spells, a condition that was more prominent in pregnant women with severe anemia as the blood tests had revealed she was. After briefing her on the subject and undergoing her enquiry he had given her some medication along with a diet sheet and left, telling her to call him if she had any problems before her next appointment a few weeks later.

She had thought of hiring a housekeeper but had decided against it. What little savings she had would have to be left until the baby came since she had chosen to raise him or her single-handedly.  She could not work as she was scared she would pass out during a performance and probably hurt her baby.

She halted in front of the closet mirror, lifting her blouse to stare at her flat abdomen as an idea formulated in her head. There would be no significant changes to her body for the next two months or so. Therefore she could stay during that time and as soon as she began showing she
could return home and hire a housekeeper. No one except Anna knew where she lived but she would not take any chances and as soon as the baby was a few months old she would move to another town and get a job as a teacher. Though she knew it was not the best plan she would have to make it work, for her child’s sake she told herself.

THE WEEKS CAME
AND WENT
and gradually her health improved. Her morning sickness had all but disappeared and she had learned to decipher when the fainting spells were coming on. She would then follow Doctor Hedley’s instructions and lay on her left side until the dizziness ebbed. In the first days of her mechanization she had felt as if she would lose her nerve. Constantly looking over her shoulders, avoiding Jordan at all cost and scared to death that he would find out and knowing that there would be hell to pay if he did.

Jordan had come to see her the evening following Doctor Hedley’s visit that same morning, demanding to know what was wrong with her. Fighting to calm her racing heart, she had stuck as close to the truth as possible. Telling him that she had anemia and she would not recover until a few months time. His stony features had softened a bit and he had told her she would stay until she was well again. She had not known whether to laugh or cry at the success of her plans as he had turned and left the room.  

Eventually, as time progressed, she barely saw Jordan and her secret was not discovered, she grew more confident in her ability to pull it off. Hence she had settled into a comfortable lifestyle at the house. She would tend the gardens and help Mrs. Stewart around the house on her better days and read her baby books most evenings and on quiet afternoons. Her pride had been wounded at the idea of having to live at someone else’s expense but she had simply resolved that it could not be helped.

Her first appointment with Doctor Hedley had turned out to be a shocking encounter as he had revealed to her that she was to have twin babies. Tears had trickled down her cheeks as he had pointed them out to her on the ultrasound monitor. She had felt a pang at that moment that Jordan would never get a chance to share in the joy that she was experiencing with their babies. Brushing her melancholy feelings aside she had told herself that he would have other children.

She had thought of telling Anna as she desperately needed someone to share her wonderful discoveries with but she was scared that Anna would encourage her to do the right thing and tell Jordan the truth so she had not.

There was something Lauren had not factored into the equation of her plans, her burning desire for Jordan. During those first weeks when she had been severely ill, her need for him had been less poignant but not anymore. She yearned for him so much that she ached. She found
herself lying awake in bed at night, thinking about what it would be like if they could be a real family and crying herself to sleep when she realized that such thoughts were futile. She had even wondered agonizingly if he was out with some woman as he was hardly ever home.

Lauren pulled her mind to the present as she added the last of her seasoning to her pepper
pot soup. She inhaled deeply; the spicy scent tickled her nostrils and made her mouth water. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and Mrs. Stewart had the flu so she had decided to prepare the      evening’s meal. She had been having a craving for soup all day and she remembered it was one of Jordan’s favorite local dishes.

“What the hell are you doing”, she whirled abruptly to see a very angry Jordan staring at her,    
“you’re supposed to be resting”.

She pulled down the hem of her baggy sweater self-consciously, schooling her features into a smile. What was he doing home so early? He looked stunning as usual in his black suit and tie. Suddenly she had a craving of a different kind.

“You’re home early”, she stated the obvious, striving to calm her skittering pulse.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware I needed permission to come to my own house”, he said derisively.

“Thanks for reminding me that I’m living on your good graces”, she retorted, stung by his comment and returned to her task.

“I didn’t mean...” he began before she interrupted.

“Dinner is ready”, she announced, “don’t be upset with Mrs. Stewart. She has the flu and I offered to cook”, she added for Mrs. Stewart’s sake.

He grunted a response as they settled down to have their meal. Under normal circumstances she would have lost her appetite due to their exchange earlier. However her babies had no such qualms as she consumed a substantial amount and would have eaten more if Jordan had not been eyeing her so curiously. In a bid to save her nerves she prepared a tray for Mrs. Stewart, mumbled her goodnight and escaped the room.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she got to her bedroom and closed the door, willing her trembling to cease. She would have to leave soon as she was not sure she could survive another close encounter with her sanity intact. Nonsense, her mind insisted, not when it was plain that Jordan was clueless as to her scheming. She also had to take into consideration that she was even more strapped for cash as she had to plan for not one but two babies. She would just have to see how long she could keep up this charade of hers without anyone the wiser, especially Jordan.

SHE WAS READING
A BOOK IN
the garden two weeks later when Mrs. Stewart summoned her to a telephone call.  To her utter shock, it was Aunt Dorothy. Apparently Nana had suffered a heart attack about a week ago and she was asking to speak to Lauren. The doctors were not certain she would survive.

Lauren’s fingers shook as she
rang for a cab, her insides growing numb. The car had barely driven to a halt before she hopped in, urging the driver to hurry. She met an anxious Aunt Dorothy at the hospital’s entrance and they both rushed inside. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Nana’s still body, with tubes connected to her nose and arms. The formidable woman she had known all her life, once feared, bore no resemblance to the haggard creature lying before her.

“Lauren”, she croaked, opening weak eyes to stare at her, “you came”.

“Yes...” she responded, her voice sounding strange, “try not to talk. Save your strength”.

She surprised even herself by taking a chair at Nana’s bedside and gripping her cold right hand in hers.

“Forgive me child”, a tear slid down Nana’s leathery cheeks, “sing for me. I always loved to hear you sing”.

Lauren did not know how many times she repeated the lyrics of Nana’s favorite hymn as her eyes drifted closed and her breathing grew shallow then stopped completely. She heard Aunt     Dorothy’s weeping as if from afar as she turned to leave as the hospital’s staff came in to remove Nana’s remains.

She was heading towards the exit on wobbly legs when Aunt Dorothy caught up with her.

“You look great”, she observed, fresh tear in her eyes, “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry about what happened with your baby... I didn’t know what Nana was up to until it was too late...”

“That’s okay Aunt Dorothy”, she patted her on the shoulder.

It all seemed so long ago now and besides, she had two new babies to look forward to. They talked for awhile about funeral arrangements then parted with plans to talk further in the days to come.

Night had fallen by the time she got to the house and she recalled that she had not told Mrs. Stewart where she had gone. She hoped the older woman had not been overly worried. They had developed a sort of companionable rapport these past weeks.

She lugged towards the stairs, weary to the bone. She thought of going straight to her room but opted for the living room instead as she felt the dizziness coming on. She had barely gotten to the sofa before Jordan stormed in.

“Where the hell have you been!” he raged, “and what’s wrong with your cell? We’ve been calling and searching for you all afternoon”.

“Not now Jordan, please?” she murmured, stretching out on her side on the couch. She closed her eyes willing the fog from her brain.

“Good God Lauren! Are you alright”, he exclaimed, coming to a halt before the sofa, “can I get you anything...water...juice”, he stammered.

“Orange juice”, she instructed as Doctor Hedley had encouraged her to drink lots of it.

He rushed from the room, returning in a jiffy with an entire bottle of which she drank a considerable amount.

“Why didn’t you tell Mrs. Stewart where you were going”, Jordan asked gently as the color returned to her cheeks, “what if you had passed out on the streets?”