Ugly Beautiful (9 page)

'So why did you steel the money?'

Jason deliberately hesitated. Trying to think of a half decent lie mixed with a little bit of tiny truth.

'I just got fed up with the life I was living that's all. I wanted a fresh new start.'

'So where are you going next then? What is your plan from here?'

'I really have know fucking clue.' said Jason with a chuckle. And he really didn't. This was the first time that he really had the chance to think his future if he was honest.

'Maybe travel on down to Birmingham or further south to London. Get a visa or a fake passport sorted, then, well... to wherever the damn wind carries me after that I suppose. Canada, Southern Europe, Australia.'

Once Jason had said it out loud it actually seemed like a plausible plan. And since his mind was now pondering on it, it occurred to him that he really did know some dodgy and shady people who could fake him a new life. Whether he could pull it off though without getting busted was another thing entirely. Surely he must have been the most wanted man in Scotland right then, but he hadn't listened to the news since he'd fled and he didn't even want to listen if truth be told.

'I take it you stole a lot of money then?'

'Enough to get me by for a few years, aye.'

'Do you think your friends will come looking for you?'

'I think they might, aye. They're not the type of people to just let things slide.'

'And what will you do with yourself when you finally get to wherever it is that you're going?'

Jason smiled at Haley's ever persisting curiosity in his undecided future. He took a deep breath and laid back. He tried to open up his imagination, but more for Haley's amusement than anything else.

'Well, I think I'd like to buy a small boat, but big enough to live on you know. Maybe start in Cadiz in Spain, then travel from port to port, doing odd little jobs here and there, somewhere around Europe or South America. Learning a little bit of Spanish on route. In fact maybe I could even teach a bit of English too for shits and giggles, who knows.'

'Sounds like a nice plan.' said Haley smiling with approval. Jason smiled too. He was feeling happy sharing some of his past thoughts and future plans with someone other than himself for once. Even if he did have to make them up on the spot. But now those thoughts were conceived and festering in his mind, he was beginning to like the sound of them. Travelling the world, living on a boat, living day by day. Sounded like the best plan he'd ever come up with. The two of them shared another lingering gaze before kicking back in the sunshine and just chilling for the rest of the afternoon.

CHAPTER nine

Right after sunset Jason and Haley found themselves away from the scenic views of the oak tree hill and around the back end of Jason's hideaway cottage. Haley sat casually by herself on top of the bonnet of Jason's car, which was still parked out of view from the dirt road out front. In each hand she held a glass of red wine. One for her and one for Jason, who soon emerged from the back of the cottage with a couple of freshly cooked hamburgers. He handed one to Haley while taking a glass of wine from her.

'My delicious chilly burger supreme.' said Jason proudly.

'They smell good. I'm so hungry I might devour this in one whole mouthful.'

'How about a little music?' said Jason, already halfway round the front driver's side of his car, not even waiting for a reply.

'Sounds Good.' replied Haley taking an overly large bite from her burger. She was right, it was nearly gone in one huge tasty bite. Jason opened the driver's door, quickly raking through his collection of old CD's, all categorised in the hardcore dance and heavy rock/metal genre. Definitely not the right tunes for such a casual occasion. With a sigh he threw the CD's back into the glove box and switched on the car radio instead. He cycled through the limited stations with a half decent reception, and of course, avoiding any news channels. Finally he settled upon some half decent pop tunes from the eighties. He turned on the car headlights too just to lighten up the surrounding area from the fading sunlight. He returned to the front of the car and sat casually down beside Haley on the bonnet. He was pleasantly surprised to find she'd already devoured her entire burger.

'You don't waste any time do you, Jeeze.'

Haley smiled, a little embarrassed. Her appetite had certainly come back with a bang.

'It's always so quiet and peaceful around here isn't it. I like it.' Haley remarked changing the subject. She glanced around at the quiet trees and bushes all around them. Jason munched upon his own burger, pleasantly surprised to find it still in one piece having been left resting so delicious and temptingly right beside Haley's returned with a vengeance appetite. Haley continued to glance around, captivated by the surrounding nature.

'I think I could live here for the rest of my life in a place like this and be completely and utterly happy.'

'What? All by yourself you mean?'

Jason felt relieved to have had such a peaceful time out here these past few days, but to live here like this for the rest of his life without a TV at least. It didn't appeal to his senses in the slightest. Fair enough he wasn't as bad as his dead wife for needing constant distractions and TV, radio, internet, social media noise all around him and at all times, but he did need it to an extent though. Sometimes there was just nothing better at the end of a good, long hard day, than cracking open a cold can of beer and munching some salted peanuts while sitting back and watching whatever football or rugby that happened to be on the box at that time. And if the match happened to be Scottish related, then all the better. Give him a scrappy Hearts versus Hibernian Edinburgh derby or Ross County Versus Aberdeen Highland derby any day of the week over your over-marketed and over -commercialised and over-hyped Manchester United Versus Chelsea. There was just something more raw and wholesomely appealing about watching the little guys.

'I could easily live out here all alone. Definitely.' continued Haley, interrupting Jason's thoughts.

'But for the rest of your life?' replied Jason surprised.

'Why not, yeah.'

'A week would be more than enough to drive me insane out here. Isolated away day after day with only your own bloody thoughts for company. I'd go frigging nuts. Then all those weird noises and clicking sounds throughout the night. Never knowing exactly who could be lurking around out here in the bushes.'

Jason let out a spooky yelp which failed to scare Haley. Instead she just giggled and glanced down at the brightly lit grass beneath her feet where the dipped headlights were shining.

'Well I think I would be happy.' said Haley with determination. Jason shook his head, still grinning. For a second he saw Haley in a child-like innocent frame again. It made him smile even more.

'In fact I know I would be happy.' Haley continued louder and even more sure of herself, thanks to the already half drunken glass of red wine in her hand.

'And I believe you. So how's the wine?'

'Cheap.'

Jason looked shocked at Haley's unexpected comment. He laughed at her bluntness. Haley chuckled too.

'Can you even remember what cheap wine tastes like?' Jason retaliated, teasing her more.

'No. But something tells me that I'll never forget the taste of this one in a hurry. Even if I do lose my memory again.'

Jason laughed harder and nudged Haley playfully with his elbow.

'I think the wine is going to your head young lady. And maybe that's a good thing. It's certainly loosened you up and more than I expected. And hey, don't knock my favourite Aldi Vino. It's always been there for me in my special time of need.'

'Like when you had no job and no money?'

'Worse actually. When I was a Student.'

'You went to University?' asked Haley curiously.

'Well, college, once upon a time and for a while. Or further education as they say where I come from.'

'And how far did you get with your further education?'

'I managed to get to my first grant check and student loan before pissing off to Thailand for six months.'

'Wow. You got around.'

'Yeah, Thailand, Japan, New Zealand. Some places in Europe. I've never been to America though. North or South. Not yet anyway.'

Jason and Haley fell silent for a short time as they basked in the slight tingling glow of the red wine working its magic on their bodies and minds.

'Do you still remember things... you know, about other countries and shit?' asked Jason, interrupting the moment.

'Not really, no. My mind recalls their names and small written facts of information like I'm reading about them from a book. But no colourful images come to mind. I would never be able to imagine or visualise what it would be like to just, you know, be there in person, even if I was only there last week.'

A soft Guns and Roses rock ballad played on the radio. Jason gave out his best cheeky grin.

'What are you smiling at?' Haley asked.

'Nothing.' replied Jason acting oblivious to her suspicious playful tone. He waited a few moments before turning to face her and offering up his hand.

'Would you like to dance Mademoiselle?'

'What do you mean dance?'

Again Jason chuckled at Haley's child like ways.

'I mean, would you like to bloody well dance?'

'Right here? Right now? I wouldn't even know how to start with this kind of music.'

'It's a slowish one. So it'll be easy, trust me. I'll show you.'

'No Jason, I can't.' Haley protested playfully.

'Come on. You couldn't get an easier tune to dance too than this, trust me. All you have to do is wrap your arms around me and hold on tight. I'll do all the leading.'

Jason placed his wine down upon the car bonnet and took Haley's half empty wine glass away from her before she could protest anymore. He stepped away from the bonnet and pulled the reluctant Haley up with him. She tried to resist, but awkwardly went with it.

'Here, take my hand.'

Haley took his hand.

'And put your other hand around my waist.'

Haley did as she was told with a playful seriousness.

'Then, I put my other arm around your waist. We both move around in a nice slow circle. And Bob's your uncle we're off and dancing.'

They danced slowly around in small circles for quite some time and without talking, just feeling, listening and enjoying the music, the mood, the closeness and the warmth of each others bodies. For the first time in his life Jason felt close to someone, really close. It was a nice comfortable feeling, one he'd never felt even with his wife. He remembered how the mutual understanding they had was only ever physical. They'd always been stand offish with each other when it came to such intimate activities like romantic holidays away, most activities together, or even just dancing in such a close intimate way, which they both avoided like the plague. Even when they had sex if was never intimate or tender, but always rough, hard, angry, noisy and without too much emotion. Yet for the life in him he could not recall the last time he'd simply just kissed his wife for the sake of only showing his love and affection and devotion to her and nothing more.. and it made him a little sad and angry.

'Can I... can I tell you something?' asked Jason suddenly. Haley smiled while gently shushing him.

'No more talking okay. I'm beginning to enjoy this.'

Haley then unexpectedly rested her head right upon Jason's shoulder. He seemed genuinely surprised by this sudden act of intimacy, but relaxed as they continued to slow dance together.

***

Jason and Haley lay on their backs and side by side upon the bonnet and front windscreen of Jason's car. They stared up at the stars in the clear night sky without hardly a care in the world. Well, Haley at least hadn't a care, but Jason's wild, tormenting debate inside his mind, regarding coming clean about his life, his work, his past and recent sins, was building to a volcanic climax. He wanted to tell her something. Felt compelled to at least share at little bit more of his life story with her. Maybe not the callous slaughter of his own Father and Wife just yet, but perhaps to share some of the guilt, forced upon him by his father's mental and physical torture upon his own poor mother, which still haunted him greatly to this day.