Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (44 page)

“I need to ask you something,” I said breaking the silence that filled Lukas’ truck the minute we left the hospital.

I was finally allowed to leave the hospital after being forced into staying one more night to make sure everything was good and normal, even after I insisted going home would make everything better.

He reached across the truck and took my hand, gently in his, and brought it up so he could graze his lips across my knuckles. “Ask away Peaches,” he said deeply, his eyes not leaving the road.

“I remember almost all of that night except after seeing you its’ blank...” I trailed off nervously as I felt his grip tighten then release.

Minutes passed and Lukas still hadn’t said anything and the atmosphere in the truck became warm. “Lukas?” I looked over at him, squeezing his hand to gain his attention but his eyes never left the road.

“You collapsed after you saw Dex. Doctors figured it was the concussion and the adrenaline rush you were coming off, all the pain hitting you at once that caused you to black out.” I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch.

“Do you know who found me?” I asked anxiously, wanting to finally put a name to his face.

Lukas answered with nod.

“I’d seen him before, that day at the station when I filed the statement. I was looking for you and ran into him, literally.” I chuckled softly at the memory. “Do you know who he is or what his name is?” I was careful seeing as Lukas didn’t want to be talking about it.

Not that I blamed him.

“It was Kane.”

That’s
Kane?

“How’d he find me?” I asked surprised.

He sighed heavily. “It’s his job. I can’t answer how because I honestly have no idea myself.”

“I’d like to see him, to thank him for –”

“Absolutely not, I’ll pass along your message to him,” He retorted.

“Lukas, he saved my life. You have no idea what would have happened –”

“I do.” He cut me off. “Kane told me everything. I’ll pass your gratitude his way.”

“I don’t see why I can’t thank him myself.”

“I said no,” he rumbled. “He’s not someone I want you around, he’s… dangerous.”

I could tell by his tone the subject was closed and saying anything more on it wouldn’t be a great idea, so I gave him what he wanted and dropped the conversation all together. I turned to look out the window with my head resting against the seat when I felt him squeeze my hand and I turned my head to look at him.

“Those hours you were gone Peaches, felt like a lifetime to me. I never felt so fucking useless in my whole life, not since Aimee died almost three years ago. No matter how many times I told myself you’d come home safe, I couldn’t help but think I was never going to see you again; that I had lost the love of my life.” He paused, his eyes not leaving the road. “When Kane called, telling me he found you, I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared.”

“I felt the same, but I wasn’t leaving Finn or you.” I swiped the tears that had fallen off my cheek.

He brought my hand closer to his mouth then placed his lips on the bandages that were covering the cuts on my palm.

“Where did he have me?” I blurted out.

His eyes flicked to me then back to the road. “An old, abandoned farmhouse a couple hours north of here.”

I nodded then turned my attention out the window as we drove through town. I never told Lukas of the dream I had about Dex, and how I was afraid to wake up. I didn’t think he’d understand it or understand why it had been Dex. But holding Finn, seeing Mollie and then being held in Lukas’ arms for the night took whatever fear I had and devoured it.

“We’re home,” Lukas said bringing me back to the moment.

I looked out the window, puzzled to see that we were parked in Lukas’ driveway. “Uh, Lukas,” I said with a nervous laugh, “I think you have the wrong driveway.”

Lukas looked at his house then at me with a smirk. “Nope, this is right.” He then hopped out of the truck and walked around to my side quickly, opening my door and helping me climb out.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“You and Finn are moving in with me,” he said, sure of himself.

We’re what?

I looked at him dazed. “I’m sorry, what?” I wasn’t sure if I was still concussed or if I heard him right.

“I almost lost you and it’s not happening again. I love you and I love Finn, I want you guys here, with me.” His voice was rough yet so smooth. “And don’t try and use Mollie as an excuse, she already gave the go –”

Yes.

“I love you, so much.” I cut him off, not needing to hear anymore. “No one’s ever loved me or made me feel the way you do; you’ve shown me what being loved truly feels like and it’s not an unbeautiful feeling, it’s so much more. You’re my
home
Lukas; being with you just feel’s complete. It feels right and there’s nowhere else I’d rather us be then right here with you. For Finn and me, you’re our home baby, and always will be.”

Lukas’ arms shot out and grabbed me around the waist then pulled me into his chest. My head tilted up as his lips crashed down on mine, hard. My arms slid awkwardly, thanks to the cast, around his neck and I pushed myself into him more, needing to feel the warmth that his body gave off. Our tongues danced before the kiss slowed and he pulled back, his forehead resting against mine.

“Is that your way of saying you guys are moving in?” he breathed out.

I nodded, laughing. “Yes.” I smiled my breathing coming under control.

“Good thing you said yes, baby. I already moved some of Finn’s and your things in the other day.” He grinned as he brushed his lips against mine.

“It’s a good thing I love you so much then, isn’t it,” I teased.

Lukas smirked as his eyes roamed my face, connecting with my eyes. I watched as his smirk slowly faded into a smile. “There it is, so bright.”

Smiling knowingly at what he said, I motioned for us to move inside.

Home.

Our home.

Six Weeks Later

“When do Mollie and Adam get back from Costa Rica?” Lukas asked as we stood in line at Bean’s.

“Thursday night I think,” I said rummaging through my bag looking for my lip gloss, and finally finding it.

“Are you telling her when she gets back or did you already tell her since you can’t keep anything in that head of yours to yourself?” I heard the humor in his voice as well as his grin.

I looked up at him.

Yep just as I thought, that fucking sexy as hell grin of his.

It got me into trouble, a lot. It was hard to keep my hands to myself whenever he showed it and he knew it too.

“Stop that,” I said quickly looking away and back into my bag, pretending to look for something.

He laughed and moved closer to me and I swear I was ready to jump his bones. “Stop what Peaches? What’s the matter?” He said teasingly knowing exactly what I was referring too.

I looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t know, you know what that– that look of yours does to me lately,” I said accusingly.

His head moved close, right next to my ear and his warm breath washed over me. “What look?” he whispered grinning.

What look, my ass!

That fucking grin.

“Swear to God Lukas Gunn –”

“Hey Lexie, Lukas, the usual?” Whitney asked from behind the counter as she grabbed two to go coffee cups.

“Hey Whit, actually the usual for him but I’m gonna switch it up today, and go with a non-fat London fog but with an English Breakfast tea bag instead,” I said, smiling at her.

Whitney had become a new friend to Mollie and me, which was great, because Whitney was great. But for being as sweet, kind and funny as she was there was something about her that was off; I could see it in her eyes.

She was hiding something, holding something back. I could see it but I never once asked her about because I knew what it was like and when she was ready, she’d talk to someone.

“Sure,” she said ringing it in. “How’s things? How’s Mollie and Adam’s trip going?”

“Great, she’s having so much fun, which is exactly what she needed. But I’ll be glad when she finally gets home.”

“Good to hear, I bet Finn misses her.” She looked down then back at me, “Where is the little guy?”

“School, he started almost three weeks ago,” I said on a groan, still trying to deal with the fact that my baby was in kindergarten.

A lot had changed over the last month and a half.

One of those changes was getting Finn ready and enrolled into kindergarten. Something I didn’t take too well and that was apparent when I stood outside his school his first day crying as I watched him walk in with his backpack on, along with all the other kids. Lukas had been with me and pulled me into his arms laughing telling me it was part of growing up and that everything would be fine.

As usual he was right.

Finn loved school.

Also over the six weeks, Mollie and I had got in contact with our fathers and told them we no longer needed the house and explained to them why. It didn’t go over well at first, after hearing what had happened with Erik and Dex but once everything was dealt with they agreed without question and put our place on the market. It only took about a week to sell which was fine with us since Finn and I had moved in with Lukas and Mollie crashed in his other spare room until she found her apartment which was only a couple blocks away from us.

Her and Adam started hanging out about two weeks after everything happened. At first I thought it was too soon, considering she had said she was in love with Erik but she was certain she wasn’t looking for anything with him and they were just hanging out as friends; something she needed after everything.

And as friends he decided to join her on her much needed fourteen day tropical vacation.

Lukas and I had a bet going on. I told him a few days after they returned home they’d come out as a couple. Lukas didn’t think so.

If I knew Mollie like I know I did, I had this in the bag.

I took some time off work after everything happened and Colt was surprisingly fine with it, telling me to take all the time I needed, that my job would be there when I was ready. I was sure it had to do with the fact I was with Lukas and Lukas scared the shit out of him.

Bobby still occupied his stool every day, in his usual red hat, drinking his usual beer and being his usual vocal and over protective self; something I didn’t mind at all.

Over the past six weeks Lukas and I grew closer and stronger every day. Dex and Erik were behind us and we made it through the aftermath of it all but not without a few bumps along the way. For the first week of being home, I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t sleep with my dreams filled with nothing but images of Dex or Erik and that night constantly replaying on a loop.

Lukas became worried and tried to get me to talk to someone about it, someone professional but I refused telling him I just needed time and I’d be okay.

And I was, but not until after a breakdown at work on my third night back. It had been the end of the night and Danny was carrying a tray of clean glasses when the tray slipped from his hand and they crashed to the ground, glass shattering everywhere.

It was that moment something inside me snapped and everything I hadn’t realized I was keeping inside came flooding out in a river of tears. I was lucky that it happened at closing time and that Lukas had just shown up as it happened and took me home where I curled up to him and did nothing but cry.

He didn’t ask questions or make me talk. He just held me tight and let me cry as he stroked my hair until I passed out from exhaustion. After that I felt the weight I never noticed before finally be lifted and the next night and every night since I slept, and without Erik or Dex invading my dreams

“Here ya go honey,” Whitney’s voice echoed through my thoughts bringing me back.

I looked at her with a smile as I took our drinks, and walked to where he was standing to hand his to him and noticed his eyes were narrowed on someone or something out the window.

“Baby,” I called trying to follow his gaze but I couldn’t tell what he was looking at.