Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (38 page)

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at her questioning eyes.

“I’m in love with him.”

It felt perfect to say it and hear it again.

It gave me a rush.

Mollie looked up at me with a shit eating grin, “Well it’s about damned time you figured it out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I softly chuckled.

“I’m so happy for you, no like over the fucking moon ecstatic,” she said laughing. “Did you tell him already?”

“No not yet, tonight. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s nowhere near what I felt when I was with Dex. That was nothing compared to now, and that tells me something right there, I know I love him. I can feel it in my heart, right into my soul, rushing through me Molls; I know he’s the one.” I smiled shyly, a lump already formed in my throat as my eyes and nose burned.

Mollie beamed walking towards me, “I knew there was a reason I found this place, and fuck am I glad I did.” She pulled me into a hug.

“Me too,” I mumbled into her shoulder. “Okay, I need to go shower,” I said and she nodded as I pulled back, leaving her in the kitchen and heading into the bathroom; ignoring the feeling in my stomach becoming heavier.

I was finally ready to go just after ten. Finn was up, eating breakfast and watching the new
Spider-Man
movie, again, in the living room with Mollie who was on the couch next to him, looking at her phone.

“Okay, I’m outta here, Finn bud, you sure you don’t wanna come with mommy?” I asked slinging my purse over my shoulder.

“Yeah.” His eyes were glued on his movie.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, auntie’s taking me to the park soon.”

“Alright, well I should be back by twelve,” I said.

“Okay, we’ll be here, probably in the same spots,” she joked but it didn’t reach her eyes, they looked off, unlike what they normally did.

I shook my head at her, turning to Finn. “Bye buddy, love you.”

“Bye mommy, love you,” he mumbled.

Shaking my head I turned and left, still feeling unsettled. No matter how hard I tried to push it aside and ignore it, it only continued to become less of just an annoying feeling to being almost in my face.

As I approached our place, and looked to see all the blinds were closed except for the front window, I was overcome with an eerie gut churning feeling as I passed our place, like a scene in a horror movie.

Only thing missing was the background music.

“Cue creepy horror movie music,” I muttered to no one but myself.

Ignoring the voice in the back of my mind telling me something wasn’t right, I dug through my purse in search of my keys as I walked half way up my driveway to where my jeep was parked, hopped in then backed out, heading to run my errands.

I had finished running my errands and I was finally headed back to town when my cell on the seat next to me started ringing. Grabbing it, I didn’t look to see who was calling when I answered.

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” Lukas’ voice hissed over the phone.

Uh oh.

“Uh... in my car... driving back to town,” I said nonchalantly.

“From?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t want you burdened with doing my shit, so I went to pick up my prescription, get some groceries and something for dinner. I hope you like lasagna and–”

“I thought we agreed you were to stay at my place today and I’d take care of things,” he snapped, ignoring me, not letting me finish.

I sighed, looking out the window as the ‘Welcome to Camden’ sign passed by. “Actually, you agreed to it,
I
didn’t.” I bit my lip knowing this was going to start an argument I wasn’t in the mood to have.

“Lexie, I don’t want you out alone, not with everything going on and I can’t be there to keep an eye on you.” I could hear how worried he was.

“I’m fine. I just passed the Camden sign, I have to stop at the house and grab a few things for Finn and me, and then I’ll be home, where I will be when you get there,” I said

I couldn’t help but smile at the image in my head of cooking dinner in his kitchen when he got back.

Lukas exhaled, not saying anything. The line was silent and I wasn’t sure if we had lost connection or what. Then I heard him breathing on the line and I knew he was still there just not saying anything.

“Lukas, I’m sor–”

“Since I’ve known you Peaches,” his voice was suddenly calm and soft, cutting me off, “I’ve never heard you say that.” His voice just above a whisper, I almost didn’t hear him.

Confused my brows knitted together. “Say what?”

“Home,” he said it so naturally.

Home.

I didn’t realize it at first, but I did, I referred to his place as home, and it was the first time since leaving Kingston that I’d actually muttered that word. And it felt right, for the first time, in I don’t know how long, it was no longer preposterous, it was right and it was perfect, how it should be. I wasn’t freaked out or full of panic; it made me feel happy– it made me feel absolute. And knowing that Lukas would be there, after he was off work, made it even more absolute, because Lukas was becoming home to me and to Finn.

“Can we talk about this when you get home?” I asked, unable to keep my smile at bay saying it again. I wanted to tell Lukas what I was feeling but I wanted to wait to do it, until we were face to face so I could see his reaction.

I wanted it to be special.

“I’ll be home in an hour baby,” Lukas said and I heard the smile in his voice.

“I’ll see you then.”

“Bye babe, love you,” he said followed by dead silence. I tossed my phone on the seat and drove straight to the house.

It was quarter to twelve when I parked in front of my garage and used the back door. Once inside I went right to the cupboards and pulled down a glass, filling it with ice water from the fridge. I left the glass on the counter and headed towards the stairs going through the living room which was brightly lit from the sun shining through the window; a large sun ray spreading across the floor.

I just wanted to get what I needed then get back to Lukas’. I hurried up the stairs, going to my room first and tossing some extra clothing and the toiletries I forgot into a bag. I then dashed across the hall into Finn’s room, grabbing some more clothes and placed them in the bag along with my things. As I zipped up the bag I heard a noise come from down stairs that made me drop the bag and jump back a few steps.

Shit.

I poked my head out of Finn’s room. “Hello... anyone there? Lukas is that you?” I hoped it was him and that he had finished early and stopped in before going to his place, but no one answered.

I grabbed the bag I dropped then bolted from the room and down the stairs. I walked swiftly to the back door dropping my bag down then made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed my glass of water, took a drink and was about to finish it when from the corner of my eye something caught my attention.

I walked into the living room, further than I had anticipated, staring at the window in confusion.

The large sun ray was no longer spreading across the floor.

There was no longer sun shining in.

There was nothing.

The blinds that were once open when I walked in were now no longer open.

They were pulled down, blocking everything out.

“What the hell,” I spoke to myself, cocking my head to the side.

I stared at them an instant longer when something moving to my right caught my eye and my head turned in its direction. My mouth parted wanting to scream but it was caught in my throat, the glass slipped from my hands and crashed to the ground, shattering, sending glass and water splashing around my feet.

Oh, God.

He was here, in my house standing in front of me a few feet away; black ski mask and all. Panic rippled through me as I started to back away on shaky legs, hoping I had enough strength in them to make a run for it. I turned to run towards the kitchen, to the back door but he anticipated it and grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back hard.

I stumbled before falling to the ground. He stalked towards me slowly as I started pushing myself backwards using my hands and feet as quick as I could, ignoring the pain that ripped through my hands as I crawled over water and broken glass; the glass cutting through my skin.

“Get away from me,” I shouted only my voice came out small and weak.

I started to feel funny, like the room had a slight tilt and spin to it. My eyes felt heavy looking at him, his silhouette fuzzy and moving in and out like he was far away one minute and then right in front of me the next. I swiped one of my hands in front to hit him away but there was nothing but dead air. I shook my head trying to clear it, but it only got worse.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me through the small slits, looking down at me, moving his head from side to side, like an animal ready to pounce. Not giving him the chance, I frantically crawled back a few more times than unsteadily pushed myself up to my feet and ran towards the stairs; my legs felt loose and it was hard to run. Everything looked out of place. I couldn’t tell how far or close the stairs were as my hands shot out in front of me flailing around until I grabbed on to the railing, pulling myself around and stumbling up the stairs.

I couldn’t think straight. My head was becoming fuzzy but I fought it off as best as I could as I hastily climbed the stairs. I heard his footsteps heavily against the flooring behind me; they became closer and closer with each stair I took. I knew the bathroom was at the top just off to the side and I just wanted to get inside so I could lock myself away until someone found me.

My cell was sitting in my car on the passenger seat.
Shit
.

I don’t know how many stairs I made it before his hand wrapped around my ankle and pulled, causing me to fall forward. My hands tried to break my fall as my body hit and my head slammed into the edge of the stairs and small bright stars filled my vision. My body throbbed in pain as I was rolled to my back.

His grip tightened around my ankle as he started to pull me down towards him. “
Nooo
,” I groaned, unable to say much more, as my head hit four steps, before I was flat on the floor.

I ignored the pain and used what strength I had to roll to my stomach then scrambled to my knees, crawling quickly to get away from him so I could pull myself to my feet. My head pounded as I got up and made a run for it down the hall and towards the back door.

I made it half way when his arms grabbed me around the waist and slammed me into the wall, my chest slamming against the wall so hard I lost my breath, not feeling my face connect with the wall.

He turned me so I was facing him, everything hurt and it was hard to stay standing when I just wanted to collapse to the floor. He moved closer to me and I tried to fight him back but my arms felt like heavy weights and just slumped to my sides. I tried kicking him but my legs, along with pain, also felt heavy and I was only able to get a few weak kicks until every part of me felt too heavy to be standing as my legs gave out and I began to collapse to the floor.

He caught me and I slumped into his embrace and I couldn’t fight it. I felt almost paralyzed. The room began to spin as my eyes started to flutter shut but I forced them open as I tried to look up at him as best as I could.

“What did you do to me? Who...who...” my weak voice trailed off.

Not saying anything he pulled me up and threw my limp body over his shoulder then hurried down the hall to the back door. I felt my body begin to drift away, my eyes too heavy to keep open any longer and I slowly faded into complete darkness.