Unbind My Heart (34 page)

Lexie closed the guest room door and walked quietly out to the living room.  Sean stood before the windows that overlooked the thick woods behind Jonas’ condo.  Although her bare feet barely made a sound against the carpeted floor, he turned as she approached. 

“She’s asleep now.”

Sean nodded.  “Thanks for coming by the office and giving her a sedative.  She was hysterical.”

“Mara’s had a very hard life, Sean.”

“I know that now, Lexie.  She never told me any of it. Yet she told Cap today, a man she’s met only a handful of times over the years.  I was so stunned it was like I was frozen in place.”  He turned back to the window and his deep voice softened as he spoke, as if to himself.  “I thought she was going to break the security glass in the lobby with that crutch she was so desperate to get away from me.”

Lexie didn’t know what to say.  She wished Jonas were here to help his friend.  How did one comfort a man who found out his wife had been hiding such a horrific past.  Keys in the lock had her turning toward the door.  Relief swept through her as she heard his familiar tread in the hall. Rushing to meet him, she hugged him close.  His eyes swept over her and then to Sean.

“What’s up, Sunshine?”

“It’s a horrible mess, Jonas.  I’ve got Mara in the guest room, but Sean...”

“I’m afraid Lexie doesn’t quite know what to do with me, bud.  I’m the 800 pound grouchy gorilla in the room.”  His attempt at humor fell flat. 

“How about we go into the den and have a drink?”

Nodding, Sean headed that way.  Jonas gave Lexie a hug and a quick kiss, whispering, “Damn, I missed you.” 

“I missed you, too,” she replied.  He’d only been gone overnight, though it seemed like forever.  Relief that he was safe at home swept through her.  “Jonas, Sean’s right, I have no idea how to help him.”

“I’ll see to him and join you as soon as I can.”

“Mara will sleep straight through until morning, I’m sure.  This thing between them, I don’t know if it can be fixed.  It’s simply awful.”

“I have no idea what this ‘thing’ is, but if they still love each other there’s a chance.”

“She signed divorce papers today, dulcedo.”

“Damn!  That’s not good.  I’ll go see what I can get out of Sean.”

“I love you, Jonas.”

“I love you too, Lex.” 

***

Jonas didn’t come to bed until well after midnight.  Sean had only just left, promising to be back early the next morning to talk to Mara.  When he returned, Jonas was on the balcony lingering over his morning coffee.  Jonas poured him a cup, strong and black—his friend looking like he needed it.

“I’ve made up my mind, no matter what; Mara is coming home with me.  I’m not filing those papers.  She’s my wife for better or worse.  I think we’ve had our share of worse, so I’m expecting it’s time for some better.”

“I have faith that if anyone can fix this mess, you can.”

“It won’t be easy.  She’s stubborn and willful.  But she’s also—”

“Gone.”

Both men turned at the softly spoken word behind them.  Lexie stood in the doorway, worriedly running her hands over a folded sheet of paper she held in her hands.

“What?”

“She’s gone, Sean.  She left me a note.”  With a trembling hand, she offered it to him.  When he took it, Lexie moved to Jonas’ side.  He slipped a comforting arm around her waist as he watched his friend. 

Sean quietly read the message, then rose and turned to leave.

“I’m so sorry, Sean.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Lexie.  You did what you could and I thank you for that.  Mara excels at one thing—disappearing—she does it better than anyone.  She always runs when times get tough.”

“I met her for the first time when she was only fifteen.  She’d already been in the foster care system for a year at that time, placed there because her alcoholic mother didn’t protect her from the stepfather who raped her.  Joanna found her wandering the street one night, having run away from another foster home where a family friend attempted to do the same thing.  She was placed temporarily in the shelter where we volunteered.  She ran away that night.  We didn’t hear from her again for another two years.  This time, she’d been beaten badly.  When the social worker came, she was facing another placement, her eighth in two years.  Mara didn’t trust anyone, understandably so.  At the time, she’d told us the cuts and bruises and black eye were from a street fight.  She told me last night it was Victor.  Running is all she knows, Sean.”

“Victor—her pimp.”

Lexie’s eyes misted as she nodded.  That’s exactly what Mara had called him.  Imagining Mara, back then she’d been so even tinier and frail.  Lexie had been horrified, that a girl her own age was alone and vulnerable, caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.  Either return to the broken foster care system that had left her to the mercy of an abusive foster father or turn to prostitution in order to survive.  It was heart wrenching. 

“Given a choice that wasn’t really a choice at all.”  Sean’s voice trailed off, the pained expression on his face revealing how difficult the question was for him, too difficult to finish.

“She didn’t talk about the incident with Shelby two years ago, other than when Victor had found her again and was pressuring her back into the business. He was running a high-end call girl service and needed BDSM practitioners to…”

“To what, Lexie?  Please, I’ve been in the dark for so long.  I need to know what’s going on with her.”

“She said Victor had known all along that she was in San Antonio, but he left her alone because she didn’t match his profile anymore.  Meaning she was too old.  She thought it was safe to begin a new life… with you.  But he still had an eye on her.  When he opened up a new specialty line, he again came knocking at her door.”

“Kink?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck!  That’s on me.  She never did any of that until me.  I trained her for Christ’s sake.”

“No, Sean.  That’s another reason she didn’t come to you.  She knew you would blame yourself.  Just because you two liked kink didn’t have anything to do with Victor.  He was a user.  He still considered her his property after all those years.  She knew he wouldn’t ever leave her alone once he got his hooks back into her, so she cut you out of the picture and removed his advantage.  Then she ran, again.  She said she didn’t know anything about the emails or extorting club members.”

“Did she say anything else?”

“Yes…”  Lexie moved closer to Jonas, needing his support to get through this.  Her heart was aching.  He squeezed her, leaning his head against her arm, offering his strength.

“Please, Lex.”

“She said that she loved you so much that she couldn’t saddle you with a whore for a wife.  Her words mind you, not mine.”

“That’s what the note says.”  Sean crumpled it up in his fist.  “Along with some bullshit about not being good enough and that I should find someone else to make me happy.”

“How can I help, Sean?  We should go after her.”  Jonas spoke for the first time.  His face showing as much concern for his friend as Lexie felt for Mara.

“This is on me, Jonas.”  Without another word, he stood and walked slowly toward the door.  His shoulders were slumped in defeat.  “I’ll get out of your hair.”

Jonas followed him.  “Wait, Sean.  We have the full scope of Rossi resources available to us.  We can find her, man.  Just say the word.”

“I know this might make me sound like a prick, but I don’t know that I want to go after her.  I don’t think I can fix this, even if I had the strength or inclination.  Except for the blackmail, all of this is history.  It happened years before we met.  She didn’t think it necessary to share.  Obviously, she didn’t think I could deal with it.  We didn’t have what I thought we had.  Our entire relationship was based on secrets and lies.”  He paused, running his hands through his hair, showing his agitation. “I have to go.  Do some thinking and clear my head.  Thanks again for your help.”  He walked out a defeated shell of a man.

Jonas and Lexie stared after him silently.

“You know him, Jonas.  Can he ever forgive her?”

“For what happened when she was a kid, no question.  The rest, I don’t know.  He was her husband, Lexie.  She should have told him.  He wouldn’t have taken any of Victor’s shit and they’d be together right now.”

“I didn’t want to tell you my shit, but you made me.  You spanked me and would have used that awful paddle on me unless I came clean about my past.”

“We’re all different, baby.”

“Thank God for that.”  As they walked back to the dining room, arm in arm, Lexie whispered, “I was thinking about running away from boarding school.  If Joanna hadn’t taken me in…”  Lexie felt the tears on her cheeks as Jonas sat and pulled her onto his lap.  Pressing her damp face into his neck, she clung to him.  “Lord, Jonas, if not for Joanna, Mara’s story could have been mine.”

His strong arms comforted her as he rocked her gently, until her tears stopped and she pulled away. 

“This was a pretty rotten welcome home, wasn’t it?”

“Any time I can come home to you is a sweet welcome home.”

She smiled.  He said the most romantic things sometimes and could always cheer her up.  “I missed you, Jonas.  Will you be able to stay home for a while?”

“Yes, although the case we have been working on for so long is coming to a head this weekend.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to put all this cartel business behind us then.”

“That’s a relief.  I’d like to see you back at Rossi, safe and sound behind your computer.”

He laughed at that. “Is that your kinky fantasy, Sunshine? To have me chained to my desk?”

“Well, not exactly.  Can we switch chains to ropes and make the desk a bed instead?”

“I was kidding.  Do you really fantasize about tying me up?”

She considered that for a while, then shook her head.  “No, I think I’ll pass.  I enjoy your hands on me too much.  Can I talk you into me being on top again?  I liked that.”

“Maybe, with a little convincing.”  His hands ran down her arms until they wrapped around her wrists, holding them snuggly but gently.  The mild restraint sent a ripple of arousal racing through her as he held them behind her back.

“What kind of convincing did you have in mind?”

She angled her head and leaned into him as he began to nuzzle his face against her neck, nudging her sweater aside.  As his lips caressed her skin, her pent-up breath emptied, coming out in a soft whimper. 

“How about we go back to bed and I tell you?”

His lips wandered down the scoop neckline and his tongue dipped into the hint of cleavage revealed there.  Barely able to concentrate, she tried to put words together that made sense, “I don’t have to work. The new clinic won’t be done for weeks, so I’m all yours.”

“There’s no doubt about that.”  He released her wrists, sliding his hands down her back and under her butt.  With both cheeks cupped firmly, he stood.  “Legs.”

That one-word command had Lexie wrapping her legs around his waist, at the same time she coiled her arms around his neck.  Their mouths were so close she could feel his breath. He looked deeply into her eyes and said urgently.  “Kiss me, baby."

With lips hungrily fused together, Jonas carried her quickly back to bed.

“You don’t have to go in today?” she asked as they stripped.

“I just came off 72 hours straight.  We’ll call it comp time.”

Their clothes came off, Jonas finishing first as usual.  His hands brushed away her trembling fingers.  Soon, her button and zipper were undone, and he stripped both her pants and panties down her legs in one fell swoop.

Lowering her back to the bed, he knelt at the bedside and pushed her legs wide apart.  He wasted no time with preliminaries as his tongue found her clit.  A frisson of excitement rippled through her, radiating from the rapid flicking and lapping at her clit, up through her belly, into her breasts and settling in her nipples.  Unrestrained, her hands sought her nipples, pinching them in order to find some level of relief.

“Pinch them harder.  Get them ready for my mouth.” 

Lexie gasped as his words rushed over her clit, his lips and breath making her pussy vibrate where they touched.  Panting, she struggled to catch her breath.

“Harder.”  His hands slid up her body, closed around her fingers, and squeezed.  “Like this, baby.  Pinch them hard, like I do.”  A keening sound rose from deep within her as she pinched her own flesh harder, the pinch of pain now exactly what Jonas would have given her. 

“Twist and tug on them.  I can’t finger fuck you and pinch your nipples at the same time.  Your hands are mine, Lexie, and I want to give you both pleasure and pain.”

She obeyed this time, pulling and twisting as she clamped down harder.

“That’s it, don’t let go until I tell you.”  His mouth returned to her clit as he added his fingers, two curled forward, finding and working her G-spot.  Her eyes were mere slits, open enough to meet his as he looked up at her.  His gaze swept her face, returning to the fingers on her nipples that had gone lax.  His hands and mouth stilled as he stared at them, wordlessly ordering her to continue.  When she began pinching and pulling again, only then did he return to his task.  Reclaiming her eyes, he upped the intensity of the suction on her clit and the press of his fingers more urgently inside her.  Her legs trembled where they spread to accommodate his wide shoulders.  Quickly, the quivering rose and began to spread through the rest of her body.