Uncle John’s Impossible Questions & Astounding Answers (24 page)

In 1999 Clinton signed a bill that increased the chief executive’s salary to its current rate of $400,000 per year, but the increase didn’t go into effect until 2001, as the Constitution doesn’t allow for a sitting president to get a raise.

The United States is a republic. Why?

Despite what politicians always say about “the will of the people,” the United States is not a true democracy, but a
constitutional republic
. What does that mean? In the late 1700s, when the Founding Fathers were setting up the new government, they had to decide what kind they wanted: monarchy, democracy, or republic. The idea of a monarchy was quickly quashed because that was the kind of government from which the new nation had just gained its independence. So it came down to democracy versus republic. The founders wanted to set up a system that prevented tyranny—not just by its leaders, but “tyranny-by-majority,” or “mob rule,” otherwise known as democracy. So they chose a republic.

What’s the difference? In a true democracy, the people elect their leaders,
and
the people vote for the laws. In a republic, the people elect leaders who represent them, and the leaders pass the laws. In a constitutional republic, the leaders make and enforce those laws in accordance with a written set of rules outlined in the Constitution. This system of checks and balances ensures that no single branch of government—executive, congressional, or judicial—has too much power. At the same time, it also ensures that “we the people” don’t have too much power, either.

More than two centuries on, the Founding Fathers’ experiment is still working (for the most part).

Which country has the largest percentage of its population of age 64 still in the workforce?

What does a British “vision clearance executive” do?

Mozambique. It leads the world with more than 77 percent of its elderly people still working. Due to corrupt regimes, widespread poverty, and the lack of social safety nets, Africa has nine of the top ten countries in which senior citizens are still “economically active.” Mozambique is followed by Malawi, Ghana, the Central African Republic, Tanzania, Gambia, Uganda, Congo, and Madagascar. The Solomon Islands—the only top-ten country not in Africa (it’s in the South Pacific)—rounds out the list with 58 percent of its seniors still toiling away.

He washes windows. Between the government not wanting to demean public workers, and private sector employers wanting to make their job openings look more appealing in classified ads, the English workforce has become a lot more…fancy-sounding. Result: A rat catcher is now a “rodent operative,” a postal worker is a “dispatch services facilitator,” a garbage collector is a “waste removal engineer,” a receptionist is the “head of verbal communications,” a gardener is a “technical horticultural maintenance officer,” a dishwasher is a “crockery cleaning operative,” and a school cafeteria lunch lady is an “education centre nourishment production assistant.” We assume that would make Uncle John a “lavatory experience enrichment executive.”

Where does the U.S. rank on the list of top-20 countries with the most freedom of the press? And what’s the world’s worst nation in which to be a journalist?

The U.S. ranks #20. Each year, the human rights organization Reporters Without Borders releases its “Press Freedom Index,” which ranks countries by how easy or difficult it is for reporters to do their job. The data comes from questionnaires sent to media centers around the world, who report on “direct attacks on journalists and other indirect sources of pressure.” What kinds of actions can lower a nation’s score? The government censoring the news, failing to create a safe environment for journalists, or directly harming them. (The PFI doesn’t measure how
accurate
the country’s reporting is, just how free the journalists are to report it.)

According to the 2010 Index, the seven top-rated nations are all in Europe—Finland, Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, and Austria. For the second year in a row, the United States was #20, up from 56th place in 2006. Britain came in at #19; Canada came in at #21.

What’s the
worst
country in the world to be a journalist? Eritrea, located on the Horn of Africa. The government there has closed down all private press agencies since 2001, and has reportedly executed several journalists. Rounding out the bottom five countries in the world for journalists: Burma, Iran, Turkmenistan, and North Korea. (As you’ll discover on the next two pages, North Korea is a great place…if you’re a dictator.)

How many holes-in-one did North Korean leader Kim Jong-il claim that he made on his first-ever golf outing?

Why did Kim Jong-il release an advertisement for a “wonder drug” that makes people taller?

According to the North Korean Supreme Leader, he made 11 holes-in-one the first time he ever played golf. His final score: 38 under par. The unbelievable game took place in 1994 when Kim played a round at the country’s newest golf course in Pyongyang. Every single one of Kim’s 17 bodyguards swore that his version of events was accurate. Kim submitted his accomplishment to
Guinness World Records
, but so far, they’ve failed to officially recognize it.

It was a ruse. Kim’s real goal was to rid North Korea of short people. In 1989 he released a pamphlet advertising a wonder drug that could make people taller. And then, when short people showed up to claim their free “cure,” they were rounded up and, according to press reports, “sent away to different uninhabited islands in an attempt to end their ‘substandard’ genes from repeating in a new generation.” What makes this even odder is that Kim himself is only 5'3" tall—he hides it by wearing platform shoes. A few more weird things about the diminutive dictator:

• According to his official biography, Kim rarely defecates or urinates.

• He once tried to end his country’s famine by breeding giant rabbits.

• Kim’s staff inspects his rice to ensure that every grain is the exact same size.

Who was Gerry? What’s a mander? When did these two combine? What do they mean today?

In Iran, one person has more power than the president. Who is it, and what is his title?