Uncovering You 6: Deliverance (14 page)

Shit.
The thought of college sends an unexpected pang of longing through me. I sit down in the middle of the stairs.

Nostalgia for Yale hits me hard. I miss college. I miss my classes. Hell, I even miss the New Haven winter.

I miss intellectually-stimulating discussions with my peers and professors. I miss—and I never thought I’d say this when I was there—having real, thought-provoking work to do. Work that pushes the boundaries of my mind. Work that makes me think, and consider, and be exposed to problems from all sorts of different fields.

The only type of mental exercise I’ve had here came from the books in Jeremy’s library. And most of them are fiction. The ones that aren’t are classics I’ve already read.

I don’t just want to read. I don’t want to just consume. I want to create.

Being pitted in this relationship with Jeremy Stonehart… fighting him, while simultaneously resisting… plotting my revenge, yet letting my emotions for the man take over… losing myself to him, experiencing the highs he brings me, surviving the lows… all of that is a challenge. All that defines my life. But, I need something else.

I need an outlet. Not a hobby! It’s not like I’m about to pick up sketching, or scrapbooking, or something as pedestrian as that. Those are meant to make you relax. I need something stimulating. Something that will make me think. Something that will take my thoughts away from Jeremy Stonehart for a time.

I know that I’m bound to him far, far into the foreseeable future. He has to pay for what he did to me; what he did to my father. All those unanswered questions at the back of my mind—the most prevalent, most grating, and one that I’m starting to think I’ll never get the answer to being, ‘Why me?’—they aren’t going away. But obsessing over them with no new information is futile. It’s insanity. It’d be me going round and round in circles.

I bite my lip, growing more and more annoyed with myself. The meeting with Fey—damn, I should have approached it differently. I should have talked to her about Yale, about her classes, about all the things I miss. Even with Jeremy there, those would have been safe topics.

“God! I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid!” I cry out, surging to my feet. How many missed opportunities have I had? How many—

“Lilly?” A female voice comes from above me. “What in God’s name are you doing here?”

I look up and see a white-robed Rose peering over the banister. She has a towel wrapped around her hair. Her skin is glistening with moisture from the shower.

“Looking for you,” I say, everything else forgotten. I start up the stairs. “Rose, we need to talk.”

She backs away, looking almost like a caged animal. “What are you doing in my house?” she demands. “Get out, Lilly! Get out!”

I stop. “Rose,” I say calmly. “I just want to talk. There’s nothing—”

“GET OUT!” she screams. “OUT! OUT! OUT!”

“Rose, I—”

“
OUT!
” She picks up a porcelain vase and pulls it behind her head. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, LILLY! NOW!”

When I don’t immediately move, the vase comes hurtling through the air. I duck just in time to avoid being hit. It shatters against the wall with an enormous crash.

“OUT! OUT! OUT!” Rose screams.

I don’t need extra motivation. Before she can get her hands on anything else, I’m sprinting down the stairs and out the front door.

Anxious hours pass at the mansion. I’m full of nervous energy. I can’t sit still.

Rose’s reaction freaked me out. All I wanted to do was
talk
. She acted as if I had broken into her house with intentions to rob her.

I keep waiting for her to show up and apologize, or maybe explain to me what the hell is going on. But I know I hope in vain. Charles is here. However, I don’t want to trouble him with this. Despite all he shared, I don’t know whether his allegiance lies more with Jeremy or with Rose.

Jeremy is the person I need to speak to. He is master of this domain. He’s the only one who can tell me what’s going on.

I just hope that he
does
.

When I hear the limousine rolling up the driveway, I rush to the front door. Jeremy steps out, dressed immaculately, as always. He is the picture of a man in full control.

His eyes flicker to me. He leans into the car, says something to Simon, and then comes up the steps.

“Jeremy,” I say. “I’m so happy to see you. While you were gone—”

“I know what happened,” he says. “And I am very disappointed in you, Lilly.”

He steps around me, saying nothing more. I stare at his back in disbelief. He
knows
about what happened, and all he can say is that he’s disappointed?

I run to catch up. “If you know about what happened, then you can tell me…”

“I am
not
about to tell
you anything,” he snaps. “I expect you to clear hostilities with Rose tomorrow. I won’t have disquiet in my house. Rose refused to come in tonight because you were here, and I
need
her around, Lilly. By this hour tomorrow, you will have mended things with her. Do you understand?”

“Yes. But, I don’t see why—”

“Do you
understand
me, Lilly?” He stops and gives me a hard look. “I hate repeating myself. I do not give you a lot of responsibilities. This is one thing I hope you can manage. You would not want to disappoint me twice in days. Do you hear me?”

I lower my head subserviently. “Yes, Jeremy.”

“Good.” He turns away. “I’ll be in my office for the remainder of the night. I want no interruptions. If I need you, I will call. So, keep yourself available.”

Frustration and agitation rise within me at being dismissed this way. But, I swallow those feelings. “Okay, Jeremy.”

He nods at me, already having mentally moved on. “Atta girl,” he says.

***

I spend the rest of the evening in the library, right beside Jeremy’s office, so that I can be close at hand.

He left his door slightly ajar. I can hear his voice from down the hall. Ever since he’s gone in there, it’s been a nonstop barrage of phone calls and conferences. From the sound of it, and from the irritated edge in Jeremy’s voice, things are not going well at the company.

I pick up some important tidbits that I am certain he means for me to overhear. The board is still as opposed to taking the company public as they were the day I briefly met them. But those are internal conflicts. On the outside, Stonehart Industries puts on a unified front.

Jeremy, of course, has majority power, so the board exists more or less only as an advisory committee. Once the company goes public, that will change. The executives will become accountable to shareholders. Jeremy’s power won’t be so absolute.

Perhaps the most important thing I discover is that there are factions forming within the company. Some of them intend to pool their resources to attempt a stock buyback shortly after the IPO.

Of course, he is aware of them. I doubt anything happens in the upper levels of Stonehart Industries without his knowledge. But the internal politicking is taking Jeremy’s attention away from more important matters, such as how to best position Stonehart Industries to maximize the share price before the IPO.

As his voice continues to boom from the down the hall, I find myself less and less interested in the book I’m reading and more and more interested in the things he’s saying. As before, I hear only one side of the conversations. But, I almost feel like some of the things Jeremy is saying… moreover, the
way
he’s saying them—spelling out the methodology behind his thinking step by step—is being done for
my
benefit. So that I can understand what’s going on. He certainly does not need to explain them in such detail to whoever is on the other line.

There’s more: Now that the news of the impending public offering has come out, Stonehart Industries are facing all sorts of scrutiny and pressure from the outside. Newspapers and media outlets are slamming the company for their secretive operations and trying their best to pick up dirt. Even hints of regulatory noncompliance, or—like that reporter who jumped us in front of the gala entrance—human rights violations are being deliberately exaggerated.

I wonder why Jeremy is letting me hear all these tidbits. He’s obviously aware that his door is open. Before, I felt like there was a clear divide between his professional role and his… ahem…
personal
life.

He’s always been mute about the inner workings of his company.

Maybe this is a further manifestation of the trust he’s started to talk about?

“Lilly!”

I look up, startled to hear my name called out.

“Lilly, come here.”

I get up quickly and run down the hall. I stop at the entrance to his office.

“Yes?” I ask.

Jeremy is seated behind that massive desk. He’s loosened his tie and the top buttons of his shirt. The sleeves are rolled up, showing those powerful, tanned forearms.

“I want you to call Fey,” he says.

I blink, and then look at the time. This is not what I expected when I heard my name.

“It’s nearly midnight,” I say. “It’ll be close to 3 a.m. on the East Coast. It’s too late.”

“I’m aware of the time zone differences,” he says, giving me a cross look. “What you fail to recognize is that the school semester hasn’t started yet. Fey is in Oregon, with Robin, at his parents’ house.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “How do you know that?”

“I just do,” he snaps. “Dammit, Lilly! Don’t question me. I’ve had enough of that shit today. People everywhere second guessing my decisions, challenging my authority…” he emits a low, angry growl. “I swear to God, if the prospect of going public didn’t hold such appeal , I would have never done it. I’ve never dealt with so much unrest.”

“Then why do it?” I ask softly.

He chuckles. “Money, Lilly,” he says. “It’s all about money. Don’t you know? Money gives power, and power grants influence.”

I look at him. This must be a manifestation of the drive that got him here.

“
How much more money do you need?
” I ask.

“Always more,” he says. “It doesn’t matter how much I
have
. I’ve long since surpassed needing it for material things. But money is a measure of progress. Of success. If you’re not moving forward, you’re standing still, and the rest of the world passes you by. There is no such thing as enough. Money gives a man ambition. It gives him purpose.” He stops, and grunts. “Enough about me. Call Fey.”

“Okay,” I say.

He must hear the skepticism in my voice, because he adds, “The reason I’m having you do it now, Lilly, is because I won’t have time for it later this week. As I told you already, appearances must be maintained. It’s important that she hears from you.”

“She might think it odd I’m calling so late,” I say. “What do you want me to say to her?”

“Oh, Jesus! I don’t fucking know. Tell her you couldn’t sleep and wanted to talk.” He makes a flippant, ‘go on’ motion with one hand. “I don’t concern myself with normal gossip. But I hear most women make it an art.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not like ‘most women’,” I say, annoyed at the generalization.

“You’ll manage.”

I exhale. “Fine. Anything else you would like me to know?”

“The same rules stand as before. You’re only calling to check in. To say ‘hello.’ Wouldn’t
you
think it odd if there’s radio silence on your end after the promise you made her to keep in touch?” He leans back in his seat. “I want a break after the day I’ve had, and this offers it. I’m going to be up all night, working, and have to be back at the building for a 7 a. m. meeting with the board. So go ahead.
Distract
me.”

“I feel like a dancing monkey,” I mutter under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. I have to go get my cell phone. It’s upstairs in your room.”

“
Our
room, Lilly,” he corrects. “Remember that.” His eyes flash to the doorway. “Be quick.”

I’m back a few minutes later, sleek new cell phone in hand. “So, how do we do this?” I ask. “Do I just put her on speakerphone, or—”

“No,” Jeremy cuts in. “I told you how it works. Your call will be routed through my phone. I’ll approve it, and then listen in from this.” He taps the earpiece at the side of his head. “And remember, Lilly…” he lowers his voice. “If I don’t like what I hear… well, I don’t think you require further warning. Collar or not, you’re still under my
control.
Make sure you don’t give me cause to relinquish your freedom.”

“I won’t,” I promise. As always, mention of the collar puts me on edge. I look at the phone in my palm, feeling a little like a tightrope walker in the middle between the two posts. Turning back and going forward will both require me to cross the same distance. The only difference is: I know what stands behind me. I don’t know what’s on the other side.

I look at the leather ottoman, “May I sit?”

Jeremy extends a hand. “Please do.”

I sit down, and take a deep breath. Didn’t I want to talk to Fey again, only this morning? I did. But, I wanted to do it more on… my terms. And Jeremy expects mindless chatter, which puts the things I wanted to talk about out of the question.

I can feel Jeremy’s eyes boring into me, watching my every move. There’s a possessiveness that pulses from him. It is directed at me.

I hate being put under the microscope this way, but I have to live with it. I can’t change things.

I hit Fey’s number, glancing at Jeremy, and bring the phone to my ear.

His phone buzzes. He taps the screen, and I hear the dial tone come to life.

Go to voicemail
, I plead in my head.
Please, go to voicemail

No such luck. Fey answers on the second ring.

“Hello?” she says. “Who’s calling?”

“Hi, Fey. It’s Lilly.”

“Lilly!” she gasps. “Ohmygod! I’m so sorry. I didn’t recognize your number. I thought you were one of those annoying telemarketers calling at night. Your phone shows up with a Venezuelan area code. Did you know that?”