Uncovering You 8: Redemption (12 page)

Jeremy looks at me for a long moment. Stoic. Nonreacting. I know what he’s doing. It is said that silence in conversation discomfits most people. He is waiting. He is giving me that. He is seeing if I will squirm and keep talking before I get his answer.

I will not. I know his games. I know how he operates. This type of tactic might work well in the business world, but when we’re one-on-one like this, when I have the advantage of knowing him on an intimate level, I will not flinch.

I wait it out and let the icy silence fill the air.

Finally, he speaks.

“I did not tell you before, Lilly, because there was no opportune time, nor any pressing need. There are many things about my life you do not know. I share with you the most relevant.” He pauses. “Trust me. You would not want to be burdened with the details of my past.”

“No, Jeremy. That’s just it. That’s the thing!” I crawl over the bed toward him. “Don’t you see? That’s where you’re wrong! You don’t have to hide yourself from me. I know who you are. I’ve seen you in all your moods, all your states. I want you to
share
with me. I want you to feel you can trust me. You speak of that so much…of your desire for trust. Well, make good on those words! Show me what I mean to you. Prove your feelings by unburdening yourself.”

I climb out of bed and go to him. He eyes me, somewhat warily. I’ve put him on guard.

I take his hand. “I’m here for you, Jeremy,” I tell him softly. “You’re not alone in the world anymore. You don’t need to be. I’ve proven that I’m yours. Nobody can ever come close to the influence you exert over me. Nobody can ever claim that they have my heart. Nobody…” I look up at him. “…except you.”

His eyes flicker over my face. He’s searching…searching for something. A shred of dishonesty. A trace of untruth.

He will not find it. I meant every word. My words are pure and untainted, untouched by my desire for revenge.

I don’t know how I’ll find a way to reconcile those two conflicting feelings. But I have infinite time. There is no rush.

“I do believe you,” he says softly. “Fuck me, Lilly, I think you’re telling the truth.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Jeremy. Not about this.”

He takes a deep breath, visibly trying to compose himself. “Where do I even begin?” he asks.

My heart leaps in my chest in an unbridled burst of joy. I did it! I got Jeremy to trust in me.

“Tell me the truth about why you captured me.”

“‘Captured’.” He smiles. “You’re a precious little thing, aren’t you? Captured is such a soft word for what I did. But you already know the truth of that, Lilly. Fey told you. I heard.”

“And that’s it?” I ask. “That’s really what put me on your radar? The fact that my father—whom I did not know—was responsible for your mother’s death?”

“Yes,” he says. “It makes me look despicable. Doesn’t it? But you don’t know how much she meant to me. You weren’t there to witness her downward spiral. You don’t know what it was like to watch the only person who’s ever loved you destroy herself in a slow, agonizing death.”

“And you blame Paul for the fire? He wasn’t even there!”

“No, but fire or not, she would have succumbed eventually. She used to be strong, Lilly. And she was beautiful. I remember her—as she should have been. A queen.

“And yet life had broken her. She put on a strong face for her children. Most of all, for her youngest, for me.”

“Your twin?” I wonder aloud.

“No,” Jeremy shakes his head. “We were raised apart. My father…had strange ideas about parenthood. His morals and values were not shared by the rest of the world. Not ever. If you consider me a monster…”Jeremy grimances. “Well, I’m nothing compared to him.”

“Yet you have him on your board,” I say. “Why?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” Jeremy quotes. “And your family, closest of all. I destroyed my father’s empire before he knew it was me. Before he knew how far his youngest had risen when freed from his tyrannical rein.

“I gained influence over him. Power. But he always had a sharp mind. He was cruel yet clever. Conscientious yet calculating. I could not dispose of such a resource.

“So I used him to my advantage. I made him dependent on me. I showed him how I gained control of every facet of his life before crushing him. And, stemming from that, he became my most trusted advisor. Even he could appreciate the strength of his own blood. It bolstered his ego.”

“What about your older brothers?” I ask. “Charles said that you had two.”

“Charles told you that?” Jeremy muses. “Well, he would be the best source of information about my past. What else did he say?”

I bite my lip, suddenly cautious. I do not want to give Charles away.

“Lilly,” Jeremy says softly. “Don’t worry. Charles has absolute immunity in anything he does or says. We’ve known each other long enough that I value his opinion. Sometimes—though not so often, anymore—I’ve gone to him for guidance. He knows how things run. He knows the things he can safely tell you. And the things he cannot.”

“The ones he cannot?” I ask. “What are they?”

Jeremy makes a dismissive gesture. “Minor things. Trivialities, in the face of everything else that you already know. Don’t worry about betraying his confidence.”

“Okay,” I say. “But first, how much did he know about me? Did he just stand idly by while you starved me in the sunroom?”

I don’t mean the words to wound. Apparently they do. Jeremy pulls back—just a fraction of an inch. But it’s enough for me to notice.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have—”

“No.” Jeremy cuts me off and shakes his head. “You should have, and you did. You have every right. You want honesty, Lilly, well here it is: It hurts me, now, to think of the things I subjected you to. My whole life revolves around living without regrets. I own my actions. I do not leave things up to chance. But all that I did to you? Those things, I regret.

“And yet…” he steps into me, and brushes my cheek. “And yet, no matter how twisted it might seem, all of that was worth it, to me, to get us to this point. So I regret what I did—“ he gives a crooked smile, “—but not too much.”

“I understand,” I say, putting my hand over his and leaning into his touch. “But it doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

“No!” Jeremy all—but gasps. “You should never forgive me, Lilly. Not for what I’ve done. It is past redemption. I’m not so blind, nor so arrogant, to be unable to see that. What we have between us is tarnished by the past, yes, but it is the future that matters. It is the future that concerns me, because it is the only thing within our control.”

“I love it when you speak like that,” I tell him. “So assertively. So full of passion. So pronounced and convinced of your every word. You are a spectacle to behold, Jeremy, and yes…” I turn away. “There’s so much I still don’t know.”

“Then ask,” he says, following me back to the bed. “Because you’ve convinced me. Ask, and I will tell you the truth.”

“Start with the most recent, then. Do you have a twin?”

No hesitation. “Yes.”

“Is he a doctor?”

Again, no pause: “Yes.”

“A
real
doctor?” I emphasize.

Jeremy humors me with a smile. “Yes, he is.”

“How long have you known each other for?”

“A touch under fifteen years.”

“And what does he think of…” I gesture around the room. “Of
this
. Of everything you’ve accomplished? Of all that you’ve built for yourself?”

“I don’t know,” Jeremy says. “He and I do not get along well.”

“Why?”

“Jealousy? Perhaps envy? He was raised poor and saw an education as the only way out.” Jeremy chuckles. “Maybe a bit like yourself. When I found out about him, I sought him out. Fifteen years ago, he was fresh out of medical school, while I was already leading Stonehart Industries. So he’d done well for himself, yes, but he had to fight tooth and nail to get there.” Jeremy scoffs. “He assumed because I was raised by our real father, I had everything handed to me on a silver platter. Even though I told him the truth, we never moved past that initial first impression. Not really.”

“Is he the one who diagnosed Paul?” I ask. “Is that why he calls you Dr. Telfair?”

Jeremy smiles. “Astute. And a good guess. But no. Paul called me that because it is who I told him I was.”

“You used your brother’s name?”

“At the time, it was convenient.” Jeremy shrugs. “It helped me train him, too.”

There’s that word again:
train
. It’s as if Jeremy doesn’t see Paul, or his father, as real people. Instead, he sees them as lab rats. Vessels to fulfill his every whim.

Goosebumps prickle my back. I edge away.

“I’ve upset you,” he says.

“I’m fine,” I tell him. I wrap my arms around my body. “Why did you bring me to him, then?”

“Lilly, that night in Boston…something happened to you. Something that I triggered. You had a panic attack, and you blacked out. At least, that is my understanding.

“My brother is in charge of a private medical facility in Massachusetts. Purchased, owned, and operated by Stonehart Industries. I bought it for him five years ago.”

“That’s very generous of you,” I say.

“You know that I can be generous to the people who matter,” he says. “Even though he and I do not get along well, I don’t hate him. Quite the opposite. I have a great deal of respect for him and what he’s accomplished. So, I helped him reach a position that he’d coveted. It was no problem for me.

“I brought you there precisely because he was the one in charge. Like me, he has a brilliant mind. Early in life , he and I just set our sights on different things.”

“Is he just as cocky?” I ask.

Jeremy fixes me with a penetrating look. “You know my assessment of myself is objectively true.”

I smirk. “Perhaps.”

“Fair enough,” Jeremy relents. “I brought you there because he is the only one I could trust with your life. I swallowed my pride and asked him for help. I knew he would not betray my confidence. I knew I could trust you in his hands.”

“He sedated me,” I point out. “Why? And he didn’t do it well or at least, not fully. I woke up halfway through. I heard you two arguing. What was that about?”

“That,” Jeremy sighs, “is a heavy topic.”

Chapter Eleven

Jeremy goes quiet. I wait for him to speak. Every second that passes fills the air with a suffocating sort of dread.

I see that familiar change come over him. It washes through him like a slow deluge of black sea water. Something must be wrong. Something must be terribly wrong, or else he wouldn’t react like this.

“Jeremy?” I say, when the silence becomes too much. “What is it? Tell me, what’s wrong?”

He turns his head to look at me. There’s pain his eyes. “It’s you, Lilly Flower,” he says softly.

“Me?” Alarm rips through me. I feel like I’m strapped to a guillotine, waiting for the blade to drop. “What do you mean, me?”

He takes both my hands. “You’ve been asleep for a very long time.”

“How long?” I whisper.

“Weeks,” he says.

Suddenly, I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut. Blood is pounding in my ears. I suspected, in the back of my mind, that something was off. But to hear it confirmed snaps all of my worst fears into place: I had been drugged, locked away and snatched from my own life. Again.

The room spins. My vision blurs. The only thing that keeps me present is Jeremy’s strong voice, the power of his command.

“Stay with me, Lilly. Don’t fade away!”

It takes all that I have, but I do it. I fight through the vertigo and return to the room. To reality.

“What happened?” I ask. I can’t help that my voice sounds weak. “And why?”

“Do you remember when you fell off the cliff—when you almost drowned?”

I nod my head numbly. “Yes. But it’s been a while since last I thought of it.”

“You recovered on your own, remember? But, apparently, not entirely. You suffered undiagnosed brain damage in those few minutes when you couldn’t breathe. It was almost like a stroke.”

I pull one hand out of Jeremy’s grip and bring it to my forehead. “But I’m fine,” I mutter.

“That’s not the worst of it,” Jeremy continues.

I look at him, feeling faint and very shaky. “There’s more?”

“My brother found it and asked me what happened. I told him all I knew. Almost all. But he said that your symptoms and the results of the tests that he’d performed did not match my explanations. Not completely. He said that the damage to your brain could only have been exacerbated underwater. But it could not have been the cause.”

“No?” My voice is frail and thin. I can see what Jeremy is building toward. It terrifies me.

“No,” he says. He brushes my neck with his thumb. “The collar was.”

I recoil from his touch. “What?” I hiss at him.

“In my defense,” he says, “I did not anticipate this side effect. Your father withstood those shocks without residual damage. And he’s worn the collar for much longer than you. I presumed it was safe.”

I stare at him in disgust. Revulsion
fills me at his words. I want to get away.

But I’m trapped here with him.

“How can you speak of it so clinically?” I question him. “How can you say things like that and show so little emotion?”

“It is who I am,” Jeremy says simply. He makes no move to close the gap between us.

He’s isolated me from his feelings like an inanimate object in an experiment gone wrong.

“The argument,” he continues when I don’t respond, “was about exactly that. My brother wanted to know what else had happened to you. Of course, I told him that I wasn’t aware of anything else. He did not believe me. He suspected abuse and threatened to take you away. To bar me from you, for your safety. He wanted to talk to you first.”

My head is spinning at his words. All that had happened while I had absolutely no input? All that had occurred—so many things that could have altered my life—while I was unconscious?