Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) (9 page)

             
“I’m sorry, Trent; I don’t know how many other ways to say it!” Sterling’s voice carried up the stairs.

             
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Dad, she’s gone; she’s never coming back, I suppose that makes you happy doesn’t it?!” Trent flung at their father.

             
Tears streaming down her face, Amanda hurried to her window and across the porch; she hit the ground running. She couldn’t stand to stay in the house and listen to her father and brother fight any longer. She didn’t know which was worse: the dead silence of the past few days or the awful words her brother was now slinging at their father. She had just made it through the open barn doors, her target the ladder to the loft when an arm hooked her by the waist pulled her around in a one-eighty against a firm chest.

             
“Woe, what’s wrong, Manny?”

             
“They hate each other, Cade, they hate each other and I can’t stand it,” she sobbed.

             
“They don’t hate each other, Manny, they’re hurting.”

             
“Then why don’t they help each other?” Amanda demanded.

             
“Men are thick headed like that, sweetheart,” Cade’s hand lightly rubbed her back.

             
“I’m sorry, Cade; I didn’t know anyone was in here. I just wanted to escape for a while,” Amanda straightened and palmed the tears from her eyes; she was suddenly embarrassed by her outburst.

             
“I had just turned off the lights to leave when a whirlwind blew through the door,” Cade teased her lightly as he flipped the lights back on. He crossed the barn to the sink and the rough industrial towels beside it; He tore several off and handed them to Amanda who had managed a small semblance of a smile at his joke.

             
“Here, they aren’t soft but they’re absorbent.”

             
“Thanks, Cade, I’m sorry, I’m not usually weepy like this.”

             
“I know that, Manny, you’ve had a lot thrust on you the past few days. Come sit down and talk to me. Let someone else be strong for a while.”             

             
“Thanks,” Amanda sniffed as she sat down on the hay bale next to him. “I can’t decide which is worse, the silence of the past few days or the fighting they started tonight,” she related her thoughts.

             
“If they aren’t speaking at all they aren’t dealing with it, Manny,” Cade shared his perspective.

             
“I guess,” she acknowledged as she pulled her knees up under her chin. “I realized tonight how little real tragedy I’ve had to deal with, Cade. I don’t remember losing Mom. There’s a hole I guess, but no sad memories. Until recently Dad and Trent seldom had more than an occasional squabble; it’s almost as though they decided to make up for lost time all at once.”

             
“Your dad and brother will eventually be okay. Your brother leaving for college may actually give them the space and time they need to sort it all out.”

             
“I hope so, Cade; I can’t stand seeing them like this.”

             
“With all that happened the last few days I haven’t gotten a chance to share my good news with you,” Cade announced as he plucked a piece of hay from the bale he was sitting on and began picking it apart.

             
“What good news?” Amanda sat up and turned to face him.

             
“I’m leaving for college next week when Trent does.”

             
“What?” Amanda’s eyes widened at the news.

             
“Your father came to me the day before the accident and offered me an opportunity to go to college. I never thought it would really be an option for me.”

             
“That’s wonderful, Cade,” Amanda offered him a smile even as tears stung her eyes.

             
“If it’s so great why are you crying again?” his smile was bewildered.

             
“I’m sorry, it’s just, Trent’s leaving, you’re leaving…Angie’s gone and I’m stuck here,” she shared.

             
“Things will level off, school will start back and before you know it things will be looking up.”

             
“Maybe,” she offered a weak smile. “I am glad you’re getting to go to college, Cade.”

             
“Thanks, Manny. Well, I am going to go grab some dinner before the herd of men in the bunk house demolish it all,” Cade joked as he stood.

             
“Thanks for listening, Cade. I’ll get the lights and the door,” Amanda offered. Cade disappeared through the doors and Amanda stood; she pulled the doors to before turning the lights off and continuing to the loft. Once there, she lay down in the open door, the light of the moon spilling over her as she gazed up at the stars.  Her whole world was changing, coming apart at the seams; at least it felt that way. Her thoughts strayed to Angela and Amanda felt hot tears sting her eyes. She had come to love her brother’s girlfriend. There was a part of her that wished the pair had succeeded in eloping. Having an older sister would have been nice.

Seven

             
Amanda, her mind not really on the pastor’s sermon, sat between her father and brother in their usual pew the following Sunday. Instead she found herself day dreaming about the coming school year. Her father and brother would have time apart to sort things out and she would finally outgrow the awkwardness that had plagued her from the onset of puberty and maybe finally have a boyfriend. One her age since Cade was clearly off limits; too bad about that. It was probably just as well, guys like Cade broke hearts; she didn’t need a lot experience with men to figure that out.

             
Maybe Chris Atkins would finally notice her; and maybe pigs would fly. Amanda almost snorted at the thought before she remembered where she was. Beside her, her father shot her a look of warning, almost as though he had been reading her thoughts. Feeling slightly guilty for letting her thoughts wander, Amanda shifted in her seat. A moment later, however, she found herself contemplating the shopping trip her father had planned for after church. He would drop Amanda and her Aunt Naomi at the mall in the neighboring town of Haddon while he went to a large chain farm supply store. It was a trip Amanda usually dreaded; this year she was looking forward to it. She had been browsing through a few magazines and emboldened by her brief tutoring from Angela, was ready to wade boldly into the world of teenage fashion…maybe. Angela had made it all look so easy; Amanda wasn’t sure she would be certain of what went well together and what didn’t. Amanda startled when her father and brother stood on either side of her and realized she had completely missed the entire sermon. Hoping her father had not noted her distraction, she quickly stood.

             
“You going to eat with us?” Sterling asked of his son.

             
“No, I’m headed on home,” Trent turned without offering further comment and moved toward the back of the church. Amanda frowned after him, though she had to admit to feeling a measure of relief that her father and brother wouldn’t have an opportunity to argue over lunch.

             
“Let’s go,” Sterling, his voice tight ordered.

             
Amanda followed her father and aunt through the church and to the truck. It was several minutes and many miles later before her father spoke.

             
“Figured we’d eat somewhere different since Trent didn’t want to come,” Sterling explained his passing straight through town.

             
“That would be nice,” Naomi agreed and offered Sterling a smile that seemed filled with understanding.

             
“Maybe we should let Mandy choose if she can keep her mind in the present,” Sterling suggested.

             
Knowing that it was her father’s way of reprimanding her for distraction during service, Amanda squirmed.

             
“We haven’t been to Holston’s Beef House in a while,” Amanda offered.

             
“We haven’t have we?” her father offered her a smile.

             
Amanda returned his smile and leaned back in her seat. Maybe things were going to be okay after all.

_____________________________________________

             
Amanda sat on her bed painting her toenails with her new nail polish and admired the way her toe nails seemed to shine. She had completely shocked her aunt when she had embraced shopping, even asking to visit the cosmetic counter and salon. Her father had blinked in surprise when she had exited the mall with her hair clipped to her shoulder blades and her make-up done by a sales clerk who had helped her select the products she needed. He didn’t even seem too upset that she had gone about forty dollars over budget.

             
“You look nice,” he had stated before he opened the door for her and her aunt to climb into the truck. Amanda had grinned, kissed his cheek, and thanked him.

             
After letting her toe nails dry, Amanda stepped into a pair of flip flops and meandered her way outside and toward the barn where she had last seen her brother. She had seen little of him since the previous Sunday and apparently he was making himself scarce today as well.

             
“Hey, Benjamin, Greg; Jason,” Amanda nodded at the trio where they were working with a horse in the corral. The three men waved and returned her greeting as she entered the barn.

             
“Hey, Cade, have you seen Trent?” Amanda queried of him where he was cleaning out one of the horse stalls.

             
“Not in about an hour. You cut your hair,” he had stopped and planted his gloved hands on top of his shovel handle.

             
“What do you think?” she grinned. She didn’t bother to tell him it had been this way all week.

             
“Looks nice, Manny.”

             
“Thanks.”

             
“I’m glad you came out here. I wanted to talk to you.”

             
“Okay,” Amanda watched him quizzically as he set aside his shovel, removed his gloves, and moved her way.

             
“I’m worried about Trent; he nearly snapped my head off when I asked him to go to town with me. He needs to get out of here for a while.”

             
“What can I do about it?” Amanda frowned at him.

             
“He’d do just about anything for you, Manny. Tell him you want to go to town with him one last time before he leaves. Anything to get him out.”

             
Amanda considered Cade for a moment. She could see the worry etched into his furrowed brows and features. He was right. Her brother kept himself shut off to himself when he wasn’t working or fighting with their father.

             
“Okay. Do you know where he was going?”

             
“I think he was going to check on the well in the west pasture,” Cade offered.

             
Amanda nodded.

             
“Want me to saddle Dandelion for you?”

             
“Sure, if you wouldn’t mind. I’ll have to change shoes,” Amanda glanced down at her flip flops.

             
“Nail polish; I’m impressed,” Cade teased.

             
“Aunt Naomi almost had a heart attack,” Amanda confided before turning to leave. She wasted no time in trading her flip flops for her boots and making her way back to the barn.

             
“Thanks, Cade,” she took Dandelion’s reigns and swung into the saddle with the ease of experience. Moments later she nudged Dandelion to a canter and matched her rhythm to the horse’s. Her brother was in the west field, his horse hobbled nearby, but his attention didn’t appear to be on the well. He looked to be doing nothing more than staring into space.

             
“Hey, Trent,” Amanda called as she brought her mount near.

             
“Hey, pest,” Trent offered what was supposed to pass for a smile. “What are you doing out here?”

             
“Looking for you.”

             
“How’d you find me?” Trent was looking up at her now.

             
Amanda dropped to the ground beside him before answering.

             
“Cade said he thought you were out here.”

             
“Oh,” her brother was staring over the land again. “Did you want something?”