Authors: Joanne Schwehm
He wanted to
meet again at the
café. I’d told him I could probably go there after my doctor’s appointment.
Did I want to see him again?
I realized I did. It was nice
and comforting to sit with someone who didn’t treat me with kid gloves. I
didn’t have to worry about any romantic feelings since my heart was completely
shattered and still devoted to someone else: a man who I would never have or
see again. I wondered what he was doing or, worse yet, who he was with. I
thought about emailing Julie, but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know.
I
wish I didn’t care about him, but I do
. My anger had subsided a tad, but I
still had that clear picture of him locking lips with that tramp in my head. Ugh!
Would that ever go away?
My braille teacher told me I was her star pupil
and that I was catching on quickly. Apparently, having the tablet helped me to
excel in braille letters. I was waiting for Frank to pick me up to take me to
the doctor’s office. I knew he had to get my mom first, so I had some time. I
decided to audio text Julie.
9:16 a.m.—Hey, Jules! I just wanted to
say I miss you! Say “hi” to Brett for me. Love you.
I put my tablet away in my tote bag and heard my mom
call out to me. Before I knew it, Frank was at my side. “Hello, Miss Aubrey, did
you have a good lesson?”
“Hi, Frank, yes I did. Thank you.” I was hoping
to hear good news from the doctor too.
My mom walked me into Dr. Beaumont’s office. It
smelled clean and sterile. I didn’t hear many voices in the room, so I assumed
not a lot of people were there. We only waited a few minutes before we were
called into the back. I was glad my mom came in the examination room with me.
It’s weird not knowing what is going on around you.
“Good morning, ladies. I am Dr. Beaumont.” There
was that thick French accent. His didn’t sound as sexy as Chance’s, but it was
still pleasant. “I’ve looked over your chart that was sent to me from Dr.
Griffin, and according to this, you have
commotio retinae
. Do you know
what that means, Aubrey?”
“Not really. I mean Dr. Griffin explained it to
me a little, but to be honest, I was so out of it that another explanation
would be helpful.”
“
Commotio retinae
. In layman’s terms it
means your retina suffered a concussion. I would like to do an MRI to determine
whether there are changes in the retina since your last scan.”
“Okay, will I ever regain my sight? Sometimes I
see flashes of light, but they don’t last long.” I knew my mom would be
surprised to hear that. I’d never mentioned it before because I was starting to
accept my predicament, while she was still grieving for me.
“I cannot say either way. It has been known that
people who have suffered a concussion to their retina have recovered their
vision in days or weeks after the trauma occurred, but that does not mean that
just because this happened to you over a month ago you won’t regain your sight.
The flashes of light that you see are a good sign; I just don’t want to give
you false hope. Why don’t we schedule the MRI and go from there?”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“My receptionist will schedule your appointment
on your way out. Plan to see me two days after your MRI. In the meantime, if
you have any questions or there are any changes to your vision, please call
me.”
We thanked him and made the appointment for the next
Monday. I had the entire weekend to dwell on what they would or would not find.
My mom and I headed to the car. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing flashes
of light?”
“I didn’t want you to get excited if it didn’t
mean anything.” I heard her exhale. “I promise from now on I’ll tell you
everything.”
My mom patted my hand. “Let’s go do some shopping
and go to lunch. How does that sound?”
“Mom, what does my hair look like? I usually get
it trimmed every six weeks, and it’s been over two months.”
“It looks good, but maybe it could use some
shaping up. Would you like to go to a salon and then lunch? We can go shopping
another day or after lunch if you want.”
“How about we go to the salon and then lunch? After
that, I think I want to go to that café that Frank brought me to yesterday. It
was relaxing and I enjoyed being there.” Not to mention I was hoping Chance
would be there.
“Sounds lovely.”
The salon took longer than expected since we
didn’t have an appointment, but it was worth the wait. At least I knew my hair
looked good. I was keeping it in a ponytail most days because I couldn’t style
it, and I didn’t want my mom to do it every day.
We ate
alfresco
at a bistro. It was a
lovely day out; the air was crisp and refreshing. I loved it. The food in Paris
was always delicious. I now knew why my mom thought she was gaining weight
daily. “Thanks for everything, Mom. I know this isn’t easy on you and Dad.”
“Don’t be silly. You don’t have to thank me. I
love you, honey, and I only want the best for you.”
“Thanks, are you ready to go?”
“Yes, let me call Frank to bring the car around. I’ll
have him drop me off first and then take you to the café since the house is
closer.”
I walked into the café and tried to remember
Frank’s clock description. I walked to the counter and ordered my coffee. The
barista told me she would bring it to me. It suddenly dawned on me that I
didn’t know if there were any available seats.
“Can you please tell me if there is an empty
table I can sit at?”
“Yes, there is. Turn to your left and go five
paces. There is an empty table that will be on your right.”
I smiled at her and was appreciative that she
described where I was to go rather than wanting to guide me there. Getting used
to someone always assuming I needed help was going to send me off the deep end.
I didn’t want to be a burden. I appreciated the gesture, but I’d rather do it
on my own. I sat down after thanking her. I felt good. It was nice to be able
to feel a little sense of independence.
“
Bonjour, Belle.
L'esprit si je
peux m'asseoir
?
” I laughed at the recognizable voice.
“Hi, Chance. I have no idea what you said aside
from hello, but it sounded so good it really doesn’t matter. Have a seat.”
“I said, ‘Hello, beautiful, mind if I sit down?’”
“Oh.” I blushed. “I really should learn how to
speak French. You could have said that I was ugly or something like that, and it
still would have sounded amazing.”
“I would never lie to you, much less say you were
ugly.”
God, his accent! I could never get enough. It was
weird how comfortable I was with him. “Thank you for the compliment.”
“How was your doctor’s appointment?”
Wow, he remembered. “It was good. Thank you. I
have to get some tests done next week, but I’m not getting my hopes up.”
“There is nothing wrong with hope is there? Without
hope, what do we have? Life would be stagnant; we always need to hope for
something. I hope that you regain your eyesight, but even if you do not, I hope
that you find happiness.” He stressed the word “hope” every time he said it. It
was sweet.
“You’re a good guy, Chance.” I took a sip of my
coffee. “How is it that you’re available every afternoon? Don’t you work?” I
was hoping that I didn’t sound rude.
“In France, we take as you would say ‘breaks’ in
the afternoon, and I am on holiday. I am taking a break for a while. I had the
time coming to me, so I took it. I am glad that I did, or I would not be here
with you.”
“Well, I’m glad you took it too. I miss my
friends from back home. I would love to talk to my best friend. Her name is Julie.
It’s just very hard to connect with the time difference. When I wake up, she’s
still sleeping, and when she’s home from work, I’m usually sleeping. Even if I woke
up at four in the morning, she would be hard to reach because she would most
likely be with her boyfriend, Brett, at the club. I lowered my head and started
playing with my coffee cup. Just saying “club” brought the thought of Alex
back. “We text each other, but it’s not the same. Then there’s Mark, but I
would run into the same time challenges.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It is what
it is, right?”
“Ahh, Mark, the ex-boyfriend, yes?”
“No, Mark is not my ex-boyfriend; he is a close
friend of mine. Alex is my ex-boyfriend.” I exhaled and squirmed in my chair. I
could feel tears threatening. I hated that even saying his name affected me so
deeply.
“I am sorry; I did not mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t upset me, not really. It’s just hard
sometimes. That’s all.”
“Do you still have feelings for this man, Alex? Do
you not want to meet other men to possibly make you happy again?”
Was he referring to himself?
“To be honest, I guess I’ll always have feelings
for him. He was and I guess will always be my one and only love. I don’t want
to meet men and pursue a relationship right now, but I do like hanging out with
you. I would be a burden anyway, but if you can put up with my occasional mood
swings, it would make me happy to be your friend.”
“I would like to be your friend and spend time with
you. How about tomorrow we go to the park and have a picnic? I will pack the
basket myself and everything.”
The waitress came to our table to ask if we
wanted refills. I couldn’t resist. “Excuse me, miss, can you please tell me if
this gentleman sitting across from me looks like a kidnapper?”
Chance and I both laughed. I didn’t expect her to
respond, but she did. “No, he doesn’t, but I would definitely let him kidnap
me.”
I think my mouth was hanging open.
Chance said, “
Merci
,” and she walked away.
“Did you just thank her for wanting to be your
kidnapping victim?” I was shaking my head, grinning.
“Okay, what are you thinking? You shake your head
and have that cute grin on your face. What does that mean?”
“Oh, I was just thinking that it is totally my
luck that I apparently have this good-looking man with me and I can’t see him. Can
you describe yourself?”
“I guess I can. I am about six feet tall, I am
twenty-nine years old, and apparently, I don’t look like a kidnapper. So how
about that picnic tomorrow? I can pick you up at your place.”
“Well, that wasn’t very descriptive.”
“I’d rather wait for you to regain your vision
and see for yourself. Now may I pick you up?”
I hoped I could see him someday. “No, that’s okay.
I’ll meet you at the park. Just tell me the time and place. My parents hired a
driver for me, so I can get to wherever I need to go.” No way was I going to
let him come and pick me up. My mom would have a field day. She would flip out
if she knew I was meeting him for coffee. Knowing her, she would have Frank run
a background check.
“As long as you can get there, I will meet you at
the rotunda in
Parc Monceau
at noon. If your driver is from Paris, he
will know where it is located.”
I unfolded my walking stick and stood. “Thanks,
Chance, I look forward to tomorrow.”
“
Adieu, belle dame
.” He took my wrist and
kissed my hand.
Man, he was sexy as hell, and I couldn’t even see
him or understand him sometimes. It almost made me wonder what it would be like
to date again, not now, of course, but someday. I needed to make sure that I
was not holding Chance back from meeting someone. It couldn’t be much fun
hanging out with a blind woman who doesn’t speak your language, is still in
love with her ex-boyfriend, and didn’t trust that a man wouldn’t hurt her
again.
Frank brought me home and told me my parents were
sitting on the back patio. I made my way outside. I loved the smells that
surrounded the chateau: roses, wisteria and other flowers that I couldn’t
identify. It was autumn, and the air was crisp and clean. If I were to guess
the temperature, I would say that it had to be in the high sixties. It was very
pleasant out. It reminded me of New York, except there were no sirens and loud
horns blaring at my parents’ place.
“Hi, guys, I’m home.” I wish I felt as if I were
home. Where was home really? Some people say it is where you hang your hat or
where your heart is. Well, for me that was two totally different places. My hat
was hanging upstairs, but my heart was back in New York. I really tried not to
think about it too much; it was too hard. I was happy that I had a new friend
to talk to.
“How was your afternoon, dear? Did you have any
more flashes?”
And that was exactly why I didn’t want to tell my
mom that I was having them to begin with. That would now be her daily question.
I understood that she was concerned, but sometimes I didn’t want to think about
it, not that I ever forgot that I couldn’t see anything. “No, Mom, I haven’t. How
about we make a deal? I promise to tell you if it happens again, and you
promise not to ask about it, okay?”