Unfinished Business (30 page)

hundred million–plus hours
Riane Eisler and Kimberly Otis, “Unpaid and Undervalued Care Work Keeps Women on the Brink,”
The Shriver Report
, January 22, 2014,
shriverreport.org/​unpaid-and-​undervalued-care-work-​keeps-women-on-the-brink/#_edn2
.

“the pauperization of motherhood”
Nancy Folbre, “The Pauperization of Mothers: Patriarchy and Public Policy in the United States,”
Review of Radical Political Economics
, 16, no. 4 (1985): 72–88.

in a 2012 volume on care provision
Nancy Folbre, ed.,
For Love and Money: Care Provision in the United States
(New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2012), p. xiv.

that difference has a far greater impact
Michelle Budig and Melissa Hodges, “Differences in Disadvantage: How the Wage Penalty for Motherhood Varies Across Women's Earnings Distribution,”
American Sociological Review
75, no. 5 (2010): 705–28; Michelle Budig, “The Fatherhood Bonus and the Motherhood Penalty,” Third Way Next, 2013,
content.thirdway.org/​publications/853/​NEXT_-_Fatherhood_Motherhood.pdf
.

“A stay-at-home mother”
Warren and Tyagi,
The Two-Income Trap
, p. 59.

I asked Pew Research to crunch the numbers
Email from Richard Fry/Gretchen Livingston at Pew Research to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 24, 2014.

traditionally “feminine” skills
Hanna Rosin,
The End of Men
(New York: Riverhead Books, 2012), pp. 4–5.

“women dominate twenty”
Ibid., p. 85; Liza Mundy,
The Richer Sex
, pp. 62–68.

9 percent of nurses in the United States
“Male Nurses Becoming More Commonplace, Census Bureau Reports,” United States Census Bureau, February 25, 2013,
census.gov/​newsroom/​press-releases/2013/​cb13-32.html
.

“There has never been a national effort”
Lonnae O'Neal Parker, “Four Years Later, Feminists Split by Michelle Obama's ‘Work' as First Lady,”
Washington Post
, January 18, 2013,
washingtonpost.com/​lifestyle/​style/​feminists-split-by-michelle-​obamas-work-as-first-lady/​2013/01/18/​be3d636e-5e5e-11e2-9940-​6fc488f3fecd_story.html
.

“I declared myself a womanist”
Taigi Smith, “What Happens When Your Hood Is the Last Stop,” in Daisy Hernández and Bushra Rehman, eds.,
Colonize This! Young Women of Color on Today's Feminism
(New York: Seal, 2002), pp. 54–64.

“to some power in herself”
Mary Helen Washington, ed.,
Invented Lives: Narratives of Black Women 1860–1960
(Garden City, NY: Anchor, 1987), p. 395.

“It is not my child who tells me”
Alice Walker, “One Child of One's Own: A Meaningful Digression Within the Work(s),”
Ms.
, August 1979, p. 75.

“You get home way too late”
Kate Bolick, “Single People Deserve Work-Life Balance, Too,”
Atlantic
, June 28, 2012.

“Granted, single people”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 24, 2012.

“low-income African American and immigrant women”
Folbre, For Love and Money, p. xi.

She has been organizing immigrant women
“Ai-jen Poo,” National Domestic Workers Alliance,
domesticworkers.org/​aijen-poo
.

her work led
“Domestic Workers' Bill of Rights,” New York State Department of Labor,
labor.ny.gov/​legal/​domestic-workers-bill-of-rights.shtm
.

“winning coalition”
Ai-jen Poo, with Ariane Conrad,
The Age of Dignity: Preparing for the Elder Boom in a Changing America
(New York: New Press, 2015), p. 115.

“Your chances of”
Atul Gawande,
Being Mortal
(New York: Henry Holt, 2014), p. 79.

“that people internalize”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, April 29, 2013.

“When a four-year-old tipped over a glass of milk”
Ann Crittenden, The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued (New York: Henry Holt), p. 73.

“requires this capacity”
Megan Gunnar, “Worthy Work, STILL Unlivable Wages: The Early Childhood Workforce 25 Years After the National Child Care Staffing Study,” New America, Panel Discussion, November 18, 2014,
newamerica.org/​education-policy/​worthy-work-​still-unlivable-wages
.

“From the time of conception”
Committee on Integrating the Science of Early Childhood Development,
From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development
(Washington, DC: National Academies Press, 2000), pp. 3–4.

A more recent study
Sabrina Tavernise, “Project to Improve Poor Children's Intellect Led to Better Health, Data Show,”
New York Times
, March 28, 2014,
nytimes.com/2014/03/28/​health/​project-to-improve-​intellect-of-poor-children-led-to-​better-health-too-research-finds.html
.

Four decades later
Frances A. Campbell, Elizabeth P. Pungello, Kirsten Kainz, et al., “Adult Outcomes as a Function of an Early Childhood Educational Program: An Abecedarian Project Follow-Up,”
Developmental Psychology
48, no. 4 (July 2012): 1033–43.

they were also physically healthier
Frances Campbell, Gabriella Conti, James J. Heckman, Seong Hyeok Moon, Rodrigo Pinto, Elizabeth Pungello, and Yi Pan, “Early Childhood Investments Substantially Boost Adult Health,”
Science
343, no. 6178 (March 28, 2014): 1478–85.

supporting people to do what they want to do
Keren Brown Wilson, drawn from Atul Gawande,
Being Mortal
(New York: Henry Holt, 2014), pp. 103–7; quote is on p. 105.

“it's also been laughter
” Allison Stevens, “Working Moms Not Exhausted? Oh Yes We Are,”
Women's e-News
, July 10, 2012.

The “wonder” part
Alison Gopnik,
The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life
(New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2009), p. 72.

“give us a reprieve from etiquette”
Jennifer Senior,
All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting
(New York: HarperCollins, 2014), p. 102.

Grant then asks the same question
Adam Grant,
Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success
(New York: Viking, 2013).

Abraham Lincoln's political career
Ibid., p. 32.

Edu sent me a small book
Milton Mayeroff,
On Caring
(New York: Harper & Row, 1971).

“in a new era of evolutionary history”
Ruth Nanda Anshen,
“What This Series Means,” afterword in Mayeroff,
On Caring
, p. 107.

The book's central message
Mayeroff,
On Caring
, p. 1.

“In caring”
Ibid., p. 7.

Knowledge, because
Ibid., p. 19.

True patience
Ibid., p. 24.

Google could not have said it better
James B. Stewart, “Looking for a Lesson in Google's Perks,”
New York Times
, March 15, 2013,
nytimes.com/2013/03/16/​business/​at-google-a-​place-to-work-and-play.html
.

Patience is also involved
Mayeroff,
On Caring
, p. 21.

“Nobody has a great idea the first time”
Eric Ries interview with Gavin Newsom, quoted in
Citizenville: How to Take the Town Square Digital and Reinvent Government
(New York: Penguin, 2013), p. 99.

“the cultivation of character”
David Brooks,
The Road to Character
(New York: Random House, 2015).

“park our cars”
Gunnar, “Worthy Work, STILL Unlivable Wages.”

She did it by creating
Michael Winerip, “A Chosen Few Are Teaching for America,”
New York Times
, July 11, 2010,
nytimes.com/2010/07/12/​education/12winerip.html
; Fiona Glisson, “Breaking: Admissions Numbers Released,”
Daily Pennsylvanian
, March 26, 2014,
thedp.com/​article/2014/03/​breaking-admissions-​numbers-released
.

“In the United States”
Crittenden,
The Price of Motherhood
, p. 1.

A video circulated
“World's Toughest Job—#worldstoughestjob—Official Video,” YouTube video, posted by cardstore, April 14, 2014,
youtube.com/​watch?v=​HB3xM93rXbY
.

“My commanding officer”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, October 31, 2012.

“For the past two years”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 30, 2012.

In January 2013
Margaret Fortney, “What Princeton Women Want,”
Daily Princetonian
, January 7, 2013,
dailyprincetonian.com/​opinion/2013/01/​what-princeton-​women-want
.

“It started the way”
Matt Villano, “I Hate Being Called a Good Dad,”
New York Times
, November 9, 2012,
parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/09/​i-hate-being-​called-a-good-dad
.

“soft bigotry”
Andrew Romano, remarks at Princeton Club seminar “Why Women Still Can't Have It All,” April 10, 2013. (Romano borrowed the term from a George W. Bush speech to the NAACP Annual Convention on July 10, 2000.)

“How Brad Pitt”
Simon Kuper, “How Brad Pitt Brings Out the Best in Dads,”
Financial Times
, October 10, 2014.

“an African American male”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 21, 2012.

The Atlantic
published another article
Ryan Park, “What Ruth Bader Ginsburg Taught Me About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad,”
Atlantic
, January 8, 2015,
theatlantic.com/​features/​archive/2015/01/​what-ruth-bader-​ginsburg-taught-me-about-​being-a-stay-at-home-dad/384289
.

“Raising children”
Kunal Modi, “Man Up on Family and Workplace Issues: A Response to Anne-Marie Slaughter,”
Huffington Post
, July 12, 2012,
huffingtonpost.com/​kunal-modi/​man-up-on-family-​and-work_b_1667878.html?​utm_hp_ref=media
.

Dean Martha Minow
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, September 4, 2011.

Daniel Murphy
Jessica Grose, “The Lesson from Baseball's Paternity Leave Controversy: Paternity Leave Is Not Controversial,”
Slate
, April 7, 2014,
slate.com/​blogs/​xx_factor/2014/04/07/​mlb_paternity_leave_controversy_a​_happy_ending_to_the_​boomer_esiason_flap.html
.

In 2012 Kimberly-Clark
“Huggies—Dad Test Trailer,” Vimeo video, posted by Vince Soliven, 2013,
vimeo.com/​49980480
.

A stay-at-home father
Chris Routly, “We're Dads, Huggies. Not Dummies,”
Change.org
, March 2012,
change.org/​petitions/​we-re-dads-huggies-​not-dummies
.

Huggies eventually pulled the ad
Ibid.

Chevrolet aired an ad
Chevrolet Malibu TV commercial,
“The Car for the Richest Guys on Earth,”
iSpot.tv
, last aired September 14, 2014,
ispot.tv/​ad/7j2u/​2014-chevrolet-malibu-the-car-for-​the-richest-guys-on-earth
.

an ad for Dove Men+Care
“New 2015 Commercial—#RealStrength Ad | Dove Men+Care,” YouTube video, posted by dovemencareus, January 20, 2015,
youtube.com/​​watch?v=QoqWo3SJ73c
.

Mothers are still spending
Kim Parker and Wendy Wang, “Modern Parenthood: Roles of Moms and Dads Converge as They Balance Work and Family,” Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends, March 14, 2013,
pewsocialtrends.org/​files/2013/03/​FINAL_modern_parenthood_​03-2013.pdf
.

“a glimpse”
“About Us,” GoodMen Project, undated,
goodmenproject.com/​about
.

“starting to feel this pull”
Betsy Bury, Dartmouth Class of 1987,
25th Reunion Class Book
(Hanover, NH: Dartmouth College, 2012), p. 27.

“My daughter can go”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, January 20, 2015.

“Girls are surpassing boys”
Michael Kimmel, “Solving the ‘Boy Crisis' in Schools,”
Huffington Post
, April 30, 2013,
huffingtonpost.com/​michael-kimmel/​solving-the-boy-​crisis-in_b_3126379.html
.

girls have actually done better
Thomas A. DiPrete and Claudia Buchmann,
The Rise of Women: The Growing Gender Gap in Education and What It Means for American Schools
(New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2013).