Unforgivably Broken (The Broken Series Book Two) (31 page)

“But…” I said, stopping myself. I was torn but my heart knew that Zane was the one I honestly wanted here.

“Hey, I’ll see you at home, okay? It’ll be over before you know it and you’ll do what we talked about, right? Get through it and leave it all here.” Tish sat down beside me as he spoke and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“It’s a long drive back by
yourself,” I whispered.

“I won’t drive. I’ll leave the car here for you and Zane. I’ll
fly back,” he explained and I nodded but didn’t say anything.

When Zane stepped back in the room after walking Tish down to the cab, I was staring at the letter he’d written me. He didn’t say anything as he moved to sit on Tish’s bed, facing me.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I whispered, my eyes not able to focus on the words.

“But?”

“But everything, Zane.
I mean, I asked for space and you hopped a flight here the same day. You left Conner, while he’s hurt, and in the midst of a custody trial. What if that ends up costing you your son? I’ll never—”

He reached out, pressing his fingers to my lips. “Stop, okay? Just stop. Yes, I hopped a flight here the same day you told me you needed space. Can you really blame me? You’re halfway across the country and I knew I should’ve just come with you to begin with. Yes, I left Conner in very capable hands.
Kas is staying at the house with Paige and Conner. Tish will be there late tonight. I called my lawyer and told him that I had something to take care of but would only be gone a few days. When I explained, he agreed with my decision to leave Conner at home. He doesn’t need to be here for this. And I need to be able to focus on you.”

“Also,” he stood and moved to pick up his bag, lifting it to the bed and pulling out a box from the top
, “I stopped before I came to the courthouse to get this.” He handed me the phone and I sighed, starting to object. “No. It’s only fair. If I had been up front with you about what I was doing, things may have turned out differently the last few days. And I am sorry. More than you know. But she has burned me for the last time.” I nodded, turning the phone over in my hand. “But I’m not the only one who broke our agreement.”

“What?”

“You hung up on me. Twice. That’s not fighting for us. And you sent my call to voicemail—”

“You knew I was fine,” I argued.

“No, that wasn’t the deal. If we call, the other answers. That’s the deal. Right?”

I sighed, understand
ing the reasoning behind the safety measure. “Yes. I’m sorry. Okay?”

“No. It’s not. I know that just flying out here doesn’t make all our issues disappear, Pix, but right now, I just want to shower and curl up in the bed with you.
If that’s okay?”

I nodded, my entire body thrumming at the idea of being able to fall asleep in his arms again.

While he showered, I dragged on my shorts and tank top and slipped out onto the small landing, remembering to flip the latch on the door so it wouldn’t close completely. I walked up to the rail, lighting the cigarette before slipping the pack and lighter into the waistband of my shorts. The past twenty-four hours had been harder than I imagined possible. The text and the fight with Zane were both more stress I didn’t know how to handle. Add to that the fact that I’d heard horror stories about this very highly paid defense attorney completely discrediting any witness that took the stand, I was second-guessing my decision to come here.

The nightmares had been awful since we left Vegas, getting worse every time I slept. Last night, I thought Tish was going to force me to go to the hospital when I got violently ill right after I woke from one. My eyes were blurry from the lack of sleep and my body was weak from my inability to keep much food down. It’d been a week since I saw Zane and I could tell he was assessing the changes in me before he showered.

I heard the door slam from the stairwell right next to me and I kept my attention on the burning paper of my cigarette. I recognized the guy staying a few rooms down when he rounded the corner. He nodded when I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and I tried not to tense as he passed behind me on the small walkway. I picked at the peeling mustard-colored paint of the rail, noticing when he paused. He took the few steps over to stand beside me, placing his elbow on the rail when I didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“Do you have an extra smoke?”
he asked. It was the first time I’d heard him speak.

Without answering, I pulled the pack from my waistband, noticing as his eyes found the bit of my brightly colored tattoo that showed. I held the pack out to him, clearing my throat when his eyes lingered a bit too long on my chest. It wasn’t that I had a problem with being checked out, it was more that I knew Zane wouldn’t be too happy about it if he came out and found this guy staring.

“Thanks,” he said, pulling a cigarette out of the pack and handing it back to me. I held it this time, not wanting to give him another reason to stare.

I turned my attention to the parking lot, hoping he would read my disinterest and move along
. Instead, he leaned against the rail beside me.

“Are you in town for business or pleasure?”
he asked, the smoke curling out with the words.

I tilted my head without fully looking at him.
“Really?”

He chuckled
and the grin spreading across his face told me he was proud of himself for getting a reaction out of me. “What?”

I shook my head, turning my
face away from him again. We stood in silence for a few minutes but when I flicked the cherry off my cigarette and stepped on it, he caught my attention.

“I saw you outside the courthouse today.”

I froze in the process of heading back into my room, not sure how to respond.

“There were a lot of people interested in talking to you.”

I spun then, no longer wanting to have my back to him. He wasn’t looking at me though, his forearms still resting on the railing. I took a step backward toward the door and he finally turned to face me.

“So
, what did you do?” he asked, assessing me. The way he stared made it obvious that he was studying my features, trying to read my reaction to his taunting. I fought to keep my features smooth as I willed my body to cooperate with the mental demands to move. I wanted to go inside but his eyes held me as he stepped closer.

“
Lili?” Zane’s voice sounded from inside the room and seconds later, the door behind me opened. I felt his arm around my waist as he pulled my back to his chest. “Is there a problem out here?”

“Nope, no problem.
Just borrowing a smoke from your girl. Thanks.” The man lifted the cigarette, heading toward his room.

Zane immediately pulled me behind him, forcing me back into our room as he watched until I heard a door shut down the hall. He glanced around the parking lot once before stepping inside, letting the door slam before he threw the latch to lock it.

“Why the fuck were you out there?” he asked, turning to face me. His expression was furious, causing my already tight nerves to snap.

Tears flooded my vision, threatening to spill but my stubborn side refused to cry. I could feel the anger trying to take hold but my emotions were too unstable.
I
was too unstable. It was like being tugged in several directions at once, the sensitive side of me wanting to cry but that wasn’t me. I wanted to be angry. But behind that anger was fear.

Instead of speaking, since I wasn’t sure I could find words, I held up the cigarettes in answer. He grabbed the pack, shaking his head in exasperation and tossing it on the
table beside the TV. “I should’ve known,” he grumbled, more to himself. He huffed, locking his hands behind his head as he paced toward the door with his back to me.

Rather than wait to be chastised when I did nothing wrong, I decided to take my turn in the shower, hoping it would give him time to calm down. I
quietly made my way to the still open bathroom doors and carefully closed them behind me. I grabbed the hand towel from the bar by the mirror before wiping away the condensation. The bathroom was still warm from the steam of Zane’s shower as I washed away the make-up I had caked on to cover the evidence of my suffering. If the dark circles around my eyes weren’t bad enough, the redness from the ever-mounting blood vessels made me look like something out of a bad horror movie.

Stepping under the stream of water, I quickly washed my hair, fighting off the urge to let go and cry. I was tired of being that girl. I did, however, opt to stand under the hot water and let it relax my muscles, giving myself time to regain my control.
And, hopefully, giving Zane time to dial back his anger. I didn’t understand why he had snapped at me that way. It’s not like I took off, I was standing right outside the door. Plus, he’d sounded mad before he saw the guy that was out there with me.

With that thought, my mind wandered back to the conversation. I couldn’t make sense of it. Where had this guy been that he had seen me at the courthouse? And what kind of person approaches a random stranger to question them about something like that? I jumped at the knock on the bathroom door.

“Pix?”

“Yeah?”
I called, hearing the pop as he opened one of the doors.

“I was just…”
he trailed off and I listened, waiting to see if he would admit what he was really doing.

“You don’t have to check on me. I’m fine,” I said darkly when the silence became unbearable. “I’m not glass. I’m not
gonna break.” I didn’t believe the words, they weren’t entirely true. I had broken, several times, in this bathroom.

“It’s not…” Zane sighed heavily and I heard the door slam.

When I turned off the water, I took my time redressing and even blowing my hair dry, which was essentially pointless as I pulled it up into a bun to keep it out of my face. I stared at my reflection again, remembering the last time I assessed myself before facing Zane. I thought then about the bruises and damage Jordan left. While those were healed, only a few scars marring my skin from that night, I still looked just as haunted as I had been that day. Probably because I was.

Honestly, it was no wonder Zane wanted to check on me. I felt the guilt creep in at the realization that I continued to snap at him when all he wanted was to protect me. I needed to get my shit together. Zane didn’t need my mood swings on top of what he had going on right now either. He’d dropped everything to come here, to see me and be with me. I had to keep that in mind.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I saw Zane sitting in the chair beside the desk, his knee bouncing anxiously. He met my eyes and I saw only concern, no anger or irritation. I walked over, surprising even myself when I curled into his lap. He let out a relieved sigh and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face into my hair.

“I just
—” he started, but I cut him off.

“I know,” I said, looking up from where my head rested on his shoulder to meet his eyes. I noticed him taking in my face up close, his eyes sad. “And I’m sorry. I can’t tell you what it means to me that you’re here.”

“Oh, Pixie,” he said the words softly, trailing the fingers of one hand over my forehead and temple where the damage was the worst before running his thumb along the dark circle under my eye. “I should’ve just come with you from the start.”

Shaking my head, I stretched toward him, wanting to solidify my words. “Needing someone is something that makes me uncomfortable,” I whispered, my lips almost brushing his as I spoke. “I needed this to realize how much I need you.”

He closed the distance, holding me tightly as he kissed me. “I will always need you.” His voice was rough when he pulled away. He lifted me and as much as I wanted to protest against being carried, I allowed him to move us to the bed.

Once we were settled in, I nuzzled my face into the crook of his arm, finally feeling some of the weight release as I yawned. “I love you.”

“I’ve always loved you,” he whispered, rolling to face me and completely engulfing me in his arms.