Unknown (Hooked Book 3) (15 page)

“Really, I’ll leave the two of you alone.”

“Why?”

At Logan’s question. Ryan had no ideas nor any fucks to give. “You look so goddamn turned on right now, Logan. If I don’t go, this towel won’t be much protection from you having a very real erection in your face, and I’m thinking it’s not the one you want.”

Without warning, Logan dipped his head, and opened his mouth over the spot below Ryan’s navel.

Ryan’s chin hit his chest.

Logan’s gorgeous eyes stared up at Ryan from where he teased Ryan’s skin with his tongue. Ryan’s gaze flickered in Malik’s direction. He wasn’t paying them any mind. He was too busy attempting to get Logan nude.

As Ryan met Logan’s gaze once more, the whisper tore from his throat, sounding every bit as desperate as he felt. “I’m not… I don’t… understand.” Even as he made the admission, Ryan buried his fingers in Logan’s hair and held on. If he pulled away, Ryan might never recover.

Malik’s palms landed on Ryan’s hips, caressing as he urged him closer. “Yeah, you do,” Malik said, sounding so goddamn sure as he easily peeled away Ryan’s towel. Ryan let it happen. All the barely suppressed longing he’d kept hidden roared to life, refusing to be denied another second. The instant his erection was no longer hidden, Logan kissed its crown. Ryan couldn’t tear his gaze away from the sight. Nothing felt real, but Logan’s mouth closing on his dick felt so fucking good.

“You’ll regret me.” Why was he still talking?

Logan chuckled in response. It sounded low and so goddamn hot.

Malik’s reaction was less bending. “I know you’re not, so don’t be fucking stupid, Ryan.”

While holding Ryan’s stare, and with his lips wet from going down on Ryan’s cock, Logan dragged his thumb down Ryan’s erection. “We have two hours before we need to be downstairs. Come to bed with us.”

“I don’t want to come between you.” Ryan seriously thought about cutting out his own tongue. Why it wouldn’t fucking stop was lost on him.

“You know that’s not possible,” Malik said, dragging Ryan even closer.

His palms landed on Malik’s bare shoulders. He’d touched Malik before. Hell, Malik had slept on his chest, but it still shocked him how hot the man’s skin felt against his. It was as if Malik was twice as much of everything as any other man.

Malik slid out from behind Logan, holding his husband’s hand and pulling him to his feet as he went. “Time for bed,” Malik said, as they each moved to their preferred side of the bed. Ryan watched as they pulled back the covers and stripped before climbing in. Ryan watched with a haze coating his vision. They were both perfect and unique to him. Malik’s body was built for power. Logan was the perfect size to make him feel in control. They left space for him between them. It was as if he was reliving that first night all over again. Except, this time, his feelings were involved. Every day he’d spent with them since that night had brought him to this moment. He could walk away. No doubt, they’d even still be friends afterward if he did. Ryan couldn’t. If he walked away from this, something inside of him would fade away for good. That part of him he’d thought long dead would be lost forever.

Ryan set one knee on the bed. Logan smiled. Hunger rose in Ryan’s gut. His gaze moved between both men. They looked ready for anything.

“I can’t do this.” Even Ryan didn’t know where the words came from, but he couldn’t. Without bothering to retrieve his towel or any clothes, Ryan headed for the bathroom. After locking the door tight behind him, Ryan turned the water in the sink on full blast, hoping to drown out any sounds coming from the other side of the door. If they made love, moaning each other’s names, Ryan couldn’t hear it. It might kill him. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared at the white slab of wood, separating him from heaven. In truth, he saw nothing except the image of Malik and Logan’s faces in his head. They’d been one hundred percent serious. He couldn’t lose them.

Self-hatred churned in Ryan’s gut. He’d known in the back of his mind. It had been there all along. Before meeting Malik and Logan, Ryan never would’ve believed it was true—he was in love with both men. Two men. Fuck his life. Love. Fuck his life twice. They were married, and he was what? Their pet? For fuck’s sake, he didn’t know anymore.

A low knock landed on the door. Ryan stared at it, unblinking. His tongue wouldn’t work to answer.

“Ryan,” Logan said from the other side. He sounded sad. Temptation to let him in was killing Ryan. “We’ll be downstairs at the bar if you decide to come.”

Coming to his feet, Ryan moved to the door, and set his forehead upon it. He knew Logan was still there. He could feel him. “Logan,” Ryan said, hearing his pain and incapable of masking it. He cleared his throat. The last thing he wanted was for Logan to think him weak.

When Logan answered, he sounded as if he leaned against the wood the same as Ryan. “Yes.”

“Will you make up some story for me with Sam? I don’t think I’m in the mood to party.”

The silence stretching out on the other side of the bathroom door might’ve made Ryan think Logan had left, but Ryan knew better. That wasn’t Logan. He was good through and through. “Okay,” Logan finally said. His voice came out sounding small, breaking Ryan’s heart. “Ryan.”

This time Ryan couldn’t ignore him. It wasn’t in him. He cared too much. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ryan’s eyes fell closed. Why was Logan sorry? It wasn’t his fault that Ryan was broken. Had loneliness brought him to this point? He was so fucking stupid and he couldn’t blame another soul. The sound of the hotel room door clicking closed drifted to him, letting him know they were gone. They hadn’t made love, Ryan realized. Malik and Logan had simply gotten dressed and walked out. Why? They were married. He’d left them alone. They didn’t owe him anything. After turning off the water, Ryan moved back to sit on the edge of the tub. Even though he knew the hotel room was empty, he couldn’t face it. Not yet. The rage going on inside his head was too deep.

Ryan covered his face with both hands. He sat like that for much longer than he cared to admit. Malik and Logan had been there, offering him everything he dreamed of having, and he’d choked. Ryan kept asking himself why, but he knew the answer—what would everyone think? He knew that answer as well. They’d think he was the interloper. The homewrecker. The third wheel. He could think of a thousand labels. His whole life he’d fought against the labels he’d been born with. Being gay, that wasn’t a choice. Malik and Logan that was a fucking choice. It was one thing to secretly dream and another to stake a claim. He was a fighter, and he was hiding the goddamn bathroom—like a pussy.

Fuck this. For almost five months now, he’d let this grow. He’d fed and watered it a daily diet of lust and longing. It was total bullshit for him to have done all that and then let it go. He wanted Malik and Logan. There was nothing simple about it. It wouldn’t be easy. None of that shit mattered to his heart. He needed to be better.

Pushing to his feet, Ryan stormed from the bathroom and threw on the first clothes he could find. All the way to the bar, he carefully kept his mind blank, but determination pulsed through him, keeping his head high. As if some invisible tether connected them, he spotted Logan and Malik as soon as he stepped foot in the dimly lit hotel bar. At a table near the bar, they sat close with their heads together, talking. He didn’t look right or left. His feet moved in their direction. No one else mattered. The instant he reached them, he stooped down between them. Matching surprised expressions turned his way.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan said before either man had a chance to speak.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Logan argued, sounding sad, and breaking Ryan’s heart. “We should’ve talked to you. I feel like such an idiot.”

The horror in Logan’s voice had Ryan wanting to put his fist through the wall. “Don’t do that. It’s on me—”

“Are you joining us or do you plan to rudely chat amongst yourselves all night?”

Ryan’s head shot up. Xander stared at him from across the table, obviously unashamed of his hateful tone. Of course, Ryan had been so lost in his drama, he hadn’t seen anyone besides Malik and Logan. Now, he realized everyone was already seated around the table. He met Sam’s gaze. Sam looked tired, but his eyes—once again—held the same accusing glint they had the last time Ryan had seen him. Still, he spoke up on Ryan’s behalf.

“Stay out of it, Xander.”

“Like Sam said,” Malik growled before motioning toward a chair at an empty table behind them. “Grab that chair and join us.” He moved his chair aside, making room for Ryan to place his chair between him and Logan.

“Congrats,” Ryan said to Sam, before going back to dealing with his life. He leaned Malik’s way and spoke against his ear. “Thank you. For everything. Really,” he added, because he needed Malik to know how much it meant to him that he’d let down his guard and allowed Ryan in his life.

Malik draped his arm across the back of Ryan’s chair. He felt the man’s muscles relax as he did, obviously unconcerned with anyone’s opinion. He turned his head, meeting Ryan’s gaze. Warmth settled in the center of Ryan’s chest before trickling down to his cock and making his jeans tighter at the heat in Malik’s gaze.

“You gonna back down again?”

Ryan held Malik’s stare. He needed the man to see how serious he took this entire situation. “No.”

One corner of Malik’s mouth lifted in a sexy half smile that held promises of sexual satisfaction. “Good,” Malik said, sounding sexy as fuck. He turned his attention to the rest of the table, leaving Ryan near to panting.

With Malik dealt with, Ryan leaned Logan’s way and touched his lips to the shell of Logan’s ear. He was to the point he didn’t care who watched. These men, they were amazing. They were his. “Don’t ever apologize to me again, especially for wanting me.”

Logan’s hand snaked beneath the table and landed on Ryan’s knee. He squeezed. His jeans turned downright uncomfortable. Ryan shifted in his seat. In spite of the way his body burned, Ryan had something he needed to say—something Logan needed to understand. “I don’t want your gratitude.”

Turning his head, Logan met his gaze and matched Ryan’s low tone, ensuring they weren’t overheard. “What do you want?”

Ryan rubbed his chest. It ached. Leaning in, he touched his lips to Logan’s ear again. He had too much to say to whisper, but no one else needed to be part of their business. “You asked me once if you’d only be filling a hole. You are, but not the one you think. It’s the one space where you and Malik fit. I’m so goddamn empty when the two of you aren’t around, it’s slowly suffocating me.” He could feel the eyes of everyone at the table flickering their way, but the conversation at the table went on unimpeded. Ryan took advantage of the noise to get everything out in the open. “I may not know exactly what I’m after, but I know I don’t want to be just your plaything.”

Logan’s palm slid up Ryan’s inner thigh. Ryan knew the move had been meant to be soothing. Ryan was so fucking turned on just from having Logan this close, Logan’s touch had him ready to come in his jeans.

His gaze cut Ryan’s way once more. “Look at me and tell me I’m playing.”

Ryan searched Logan’s face, looking for any hint this was just a game. All he found was the same expression he’d seen Logan wear while staring at Malik. The heated glances he’d always craved for himself.

Without thought, Ryan brushed his thumb over Logan’s cheekbone. He didn’t know why. He just loved that spot. It was the exact spot that reddened when Logan was embarrassed or on the verge of orgasm. It made the man’s eyes seem lighter when he was turned on and darker when he was exhausted. From there, Ryan’s knuckles trailed down Logan’s jaw. The silence at the table pulled Ryan from enjoying the way Logan’s skin felt against his.

Turning his head, he found everyone looking his way. He dropped his hand to his lap. Malik moved closer, using his body language and huge frame to stake his claim. His fingertips caressed Logan’s shoulder but the weight of his arm increased across Ryan’s shoulders. It couldn’t have been more obvious the three of them were more than friends. While Sam looked more than a little enraged, a small smile hovered on Holden’s lips. Xander wasn’t concerned with them at all. He was playing with his phone as if oblivious to everyone but himself. Logan’s fingers linked with Ryan’s beneath the table, and Ryan found himself running his palm up Malik’s inner thigh. It happened so naturally as if meant to be. They’d sought each other, standing as one against the world’s judgements.

Logan being Logan, he didn’t let everyone pick them apart with their gazes for long. “By the way, Sam. It’s been years since I’ve seen you compete. Did they do away with the axle lift?”

Sam’s death stare left Ryan. His features softened as he focused on Logan. No one could look at Logan with an ounce of rage. He was too damn sweet. It was like kicking a puppy. “It was the first event this year.”

“Oh,” Logan said, his confusion dying away. “We missed the first event. It’s my fault, of course. I ended up having to work last night, and I was still sleeping it off when we got here.”

Sam shook his head. “You need to quit that bullshit job. They’re working you into the ground.”

“Did I hear someone calling my name?” Jimmy said, as he dragged a chair to the table and sat down.

Xander glanced away from his phone at Jimmy’s arrival. “Ah, it’s the drunkard, Jimmy,” he said in way of greeting, and sounding bland.