Unmatchable (11 page)

I push my hand into my underwear and touch myself for the first time in years. This part of me has been off-limits. Not just physically but psychologically. The thought of anything going on down there has brought back memories that I'm not fond of. Tonight, though, my mind is focused entirely on what could have happened with Colton Larsen. That alone feels like a breakthrough, a gift that I secretly thank him for.

I pet my thumb over my clit, feeling the soft skin there and the small bite of arousal from it. It's like I'm exploring my body for the first time, soaking in all of the different sensations.

Finally, my fingers creep down deeper. I probe inside with just the tip of my finger but ultimately decide not to go any farther. Too much for one night. What I have going on now is enough.

I draw my fingers back up and focus on my clit, pressing hard and rubbing in tight circles. I imagine Colton kneeling between my legs, his cock in hand. He gives it a few warm up strokes as he stares down at me, seeing all of me. I've never allowed a man to see this much of me before. Then again, no man has ever wanted to take the time.

His thighs flex as he straightens himself, drawing closer. The helmet of his cock points at my entryway and nudges against it. It feels too big, but I like that. Like that he's taking his time—going slow and easing me into things.

We make eye contact, and I feel transported to a safe place. Those soft blue eyes are so full of passion and kindness. I don't have to worry about being used or taken advantage of. I don't have to worry that he's going to hurt me.

He asks if I'm ready, and I nod. Then he pushes inside, and heavenly bliss ignites my body. Like a drop of blood in water, it spreads through me, coloring me euphoric. A tiny moan escapes my lips, and then I shatter.

The world disappears around me from the intensity of my climax. I rub harder against my clit, feeling it fire back, feeling contraction after contraction—my body's sexual awakening.

***

I feel like I'm sitting in the confessional at church about to tell my sins to the priest. Even though this woman knows my deepest and darkest secrets, talking about sex still seems taboo. Maybe it's because everything I've disclosed up to this point has been bad. Admitting to myself that I'm actually beginning to enjoy the sexual aspects of my mind and body is new territory for me.

Doctor Spalding sits across from me with her legs crossed and a clipboard in her hand. The papers clasped inside are thick from so many appointments. In those pages are all of my pain. Perhaps today will be the start of a new story.

“
I touched myself last night,” I say hesitantly.

“
Oh?” She seems genuinely surprised. “And did you enjoy it?”

“
Mhm." I nod. "A lot more than I thought I would.”

“
What prompted you to want to do it?”

“
I...met a man.”

“
One of your dates finally paid off?” She beams at me, pleased that I'm making progress.

“
Not exactly.” I quirk my head to the side, remembering how it all happened.

“
What do you mean?”

For the next fifteen minutes, I word vomit out the entire story. Every minute detail from how Colton came into Full Hearts Matchmaking Service to do an undercover investigation to how we met again by chance online. It's not until I get to the part about us making out that I start to become uncomfortable. Recalling all of the perverted correspondences that got us there fills me with the sense that he's only pursuing me to get into my pants. I have to remember that he hasn't been pushing things, though.

By the time I finish talking, Doctor Spalding looks stoic. For a minute, I worry she wasn't listening because she seems to be staring through me, not at me. Then she pipes up with another smile, though this one seems a bit forced.

“
It sounds like this man has found a way to get under your skin.”

“
He has. It's so unexpected. He's not like anyone I ever thought I would be interested in.”

“
What makes you so interested in him?” She looks at her clipboard in preparation to jot down more notes.

“
I'm really not sure. There's an obvious physical attraction, but there's definitely more to him than meets the eye. He's sexual but not overly aggressive. And he has a lot of power, but he doesn't abuse it. He acts crass, but I think he's really kind. There's something about him that I trust but a small part of me that feels like I shouldn't.”

I want to ask her if that makes sense, but I already know the answer. Of course, it does. Of course, I'd have trust issues after everything I've been through. The people that I've trusted the most have been the ones who have hurt me the worst. It's been that way throughout my entire life. Allowing myself to trust again...It almost doesn't seem possible.

“
And do you think the fact that he has money has anything to do with your attraction to him?” she asks.

It seems like such a strange question, but I suppose it's not given the circumstances. I came from a place of poverty. It's only natural that someone with a stable financial background would be more appealing to me.

Still, I'm not a gold digger. Rich men have never been my target when it comes to dating. I've always just wanted someone who could accept me for me.

“
No,” I reply decidedly. “I think I would still like him even if he was piss broke. He's just different.”

“
Mhm.” She nods, taking notes. “And are you planning on having sex with this man?”

My cheeks light up. “No!” is the first thing to come to mind. Then reality sets in, and I reconsider. If I continue to see Colton, then we'll eventually get to the crossroads where I'll either have to put out or get out. That's what happens in almost all relationships. No man is going to hang around forever if he's not getting laid. “Well, I haven't really thought that far ahead. I mean, I have, but I don't want to rush things.”

“
What if he pushes for sex?” She crosses her arms over her clipboard and looks at me, making the question sound all the more serious.

“
Then I'll leave. That's the only option.” I furrow my brow, not wanting to think about it.

“
Good. You shouldn't allow any man to pressure you into what you don't want to do. And from the sound of it, this guy is aggressive. I know that you're attracted to him, but he may not be the best fit for you.”

A tremor of disappointment races through me because I know she's right. Of all the men in the world I could pick to get involved with, Colton Larsen might be the most dangerous. He's smart enough to be able to manipulate me. There's definitely the potential for me to get hurt.

“
Don't let me deter you, though,” she continues. “If this is the first man that's been able to break down your walls, then it might be good for you to keep seeing him. I would just tread carefully. You don't want to end up back where you started.”

“
No. I certainly do not.”

Hearing her say those words makes me think I should keep my distance. While I desperately want to see Colton again, it's certainly not worth more mental scarification. Somehow, I need to learn how to temper my hormones around him. Whether he likes it or not, we're going to have to take things slow. It's my way or the highway.

CHAPTER EIGHT

COLTON

I spent a good portion of what little free time I had on Tuesday sneaking peeks at the picture Ember sent me. Hell, by the time I went to bed on Monday night, I had every lacy detail of her bra memorized. I even dreamed about peeling it off of her.

The fact that I was on edge waiting for her to reply was a bit unnerving. After a first date with most girls, they'd be so enthralled with me that I couldn't hardly beat them off with a stick. Ember is different. Distant. While she'd given me clues throughout our date that she was interested in me—the way she blushed when I spoke crudely to her, how she looked at me from time to time, the way she reciprocated my kiss—now I'm getting nothing.

She has somehow managed to infiltrate my brain and take up permanent residency there. Being unable to stop thinking about her is starting to drive me crazy. The fact that she seems to be blatantly ignoring me, even more so.

By Tuesday night, I was beginning to worry that maybe I had taken things too far by telling her that I was going to jack off to her picture. She seems a bit delicate when it comes to the subject of sex. While I could get her to play for a little while, she typically eventually backs off. Perhaps, this time, I made her walk away completely.

After spending more of Tuesday night checking my phone than staring out over the city skyline, I finally break down to text her.

Colton: How did your appointment go? Did you tell your doctor about the handsome dick that almost made you lose your job?

Thankfully, she responds within a few minutes.

Ember: That's confidential information.

Colton: Did you show all of your friends my dick pic yet?

I smirk, well knowing the way that women work.

Ember: Did you show all of your friends the picture of my breasts?

Colton: No. The only person I want ogling those breasts is me.

Ember: Good. Because that picture was also confidential. If you had shown it to someone else, that would have been a deal breaker.

Colton: A deal breaker, huh? Have we made some sort of deal that I'm unaware of? I could think of a few that I'd like to make.

Ember: You're a pig.

Colton: Oink oink.

Ember: lol So what did you do today?

Colton: Work.

Ember: I mean after that.

Colton: Does it matter?

My phone is silent for several moments, and I quickly realize that was the wrong answer. Staying on Ember Washington's good side is an art, but I enjoy coloring outside of the lines from time to time.

Colton: I came home and sat on my balcony to watch the sunset and think about you.

Ember: Oh really? And what were you thinking about me?

Colton: That I want to see you again. You owe me a second date.

Ember: I owe you nothing.

I can feel the harshness of her words through the phone. Briefly, I think about reminding her that she owes me her job, but that would be a low blow, and I'm really not trying to tick her off.

Colton: I want to see you again. When will that happen?

Ember: When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east.

A grin spreads across my face from The Game of Thrones reference. I'm so amused by it that I can't even frown at the implication.

Colton: Did I wake the dragon?

Ember: You always wake the dragon.

Colton: Sounds kinky. On a more serious note, go to dinner with me tomorrow night.

Ember: Can't. I promised some co-workers I'd go out with them instead.

Now I'm frowning. It seems like she's purposely trying to avoid me. Maybe she didn't enjoy the date after all.

Colton: Sounds like an excuse to me. If you're not interested in me, just let me know and I'll go away.

Ember: It's not that. I really am going out with my co-workers tomorrow.

Colton: Then I'll come with.

Ember: Seriously?

Colton: Seriously.

Ember: ...I suppose it's a date then.

CHAPTER NINE

EMBER

I'm sitting on the patio of Mamacito's Mexican Restaurant with a margarita clutched in my hands feeling like I'm about to go out of my mind waiting for Colton to show up. He already told me that he's running late, which I'm fine with. I just wish I wasn't so obsessed with thinking about him that I can't focus on any of the conversation going on around me.

There's a big group of us today. As soon as I mentioned that Mister Big Shot himself was going to be joining us, it seemed like all of the women in the office wanted to come. I made sure to exclude that the only reason he's going to show up is for me, though.

For me.

It seems so surreal that such a wealthy, smart, attractive man would take an interest in me. Especially after how I've treated him. None of this seems real. Colton Larsen has completely turned my life upside down.

“
Oh my God, Ember, is that him?” Kristi points over a line of cars in the parking lot at a man who is walking towards the restaurant.

My hearts swells in my chest. At first, I can't even believe that's Colton. He looks so different. Gone is his business suit. In its place is a light gray button-down shirt with a high collar and a pair of dark blue jeans that fit him like they were designed for his body. Maybe they were. His hair is mussy. Like, just fucked mussy. The kind of mussy that makes you want to curl your fingers into it, jump on his dick and take him for round two. And holy shit he shaved.

“
Hello, gorgeous.” He stops at the black metal railing that separates the outside seating area from the parking lot. “Is this where the party is happening?”

I squeal internally, still floored by how gorgeous he looks that I can't even mouth a response. He simply winks at me and continues on inside of the restaurant before making his way onto the patio.

“
What was that all about?” Kristi leans over to whisper to me, her nasally voice sounding super annoying with its obvious connotation.

“
I have no idea,” I lie, hoping she'll shut up before he gets to us.

“
Hey, guys.” Colton waves casually to everyone before taking a seat next to me and immediately wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I couldn't blush a deeper shade of pink if I tried. If there was any question what's going on between us, it was answered at that moment. The fact that he displays his possessiveness so openly makes warmth churn inside of me.

Colton affectionately brushes his nose against my cheek, making me so hot that I feel like one of those cartoon characters with steam coming out of their ears. “I've been looking forward to this all day.”

If I had any resolve left before, it's gone now. My heart is pounding fiercely, and my panties are getting wet. He's so close that the intoxicating scent of his cologne drowns out all of the other smells around us. My appetite disappears, and a different kind of hunger takes its place. What has this man done to me?

I glance over at him and notice his eyes zeroed in on my cleavage. I wonder if he's trying to guess what kind of bra I'm wearing today. The answer is something sexy. Something sexy because I knew I'd be with him today. Because knowing that I'm going to be around him makes me want to look my best.

I got up thirty minutes early this morning to do my hair and makeup to perfection. And I spent
another
thirty minutes the night before pouring through my outfits to put together the most seductive ensemble I could come up with that would still be safe to wear to work. The result was a bodycon dress with a black top with a lace overlay and a yellow skirt. It hugs every one of my curves in all the right places but still looks somewhat professional. When I walked into work this morning, I half-expected the new manager to send me home to change, but thankfully he said nothing.

“
That dress,” Colton whispers into my ear in a deep raspy tone. “Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Washington? I'm tempted to skip dinner and go straight to dessert. You're lucky your friends are here, or I would feast on you right on this table.”

My mouth falls open in disbelief that he'd say such things in public. The noise of conversation around us is enough to cover his voice, but still.

“
I'm surprised you're not wearing a suit,” I choke out, desperately trying to change the subject.

“
I do own other clothes, you know.” He leans back in his seat, and relief floods me with the hope that he's about to start acting normal instead of like a sex-crazed teenage boy.

“
And you shaved.”

“
And I shaved.” He rubs his chin. “Do you like? Or would you prefer the stubble.”

“
It's your body. I have no preference.”

“
But my body wants to be on your body, so your preference does matter.”

Holy shit, is there no end to his vulgarity.

“
So what are you doing here with all of us little people?” Kristi sneaks in a quick question.

“
Little people?” Colton smirks. “You make it sound like I think of you all as peons.”

“
That's not what I meant at all.” She cowers a bit.

“
I know, I'm just screwing with you. Believe it or not, I'm very human. I like to go out too.”

“
Oh. Well, that's nice. It's good to have you here.”

“
It's good to be here.”

There's a definite fissure in the level of comfort between them. Kristi is trying to be friendly, but I can tell from the stiffness in her voice that Colton's presence makes her uncomfortable. My co-workers all probably think he came to spy on them. He would have to show up to a lot of these little get-togethers before he started to feel like one of us. Maybe he never would.

Colton doesn't seem to notice the tension. He speaks as casually as if talking to a friend. Being conversational comes easily to him, probably from years of having to deal with a variety of different personality types.

“
So tell us what big changes are coming to Full Hearts, Mister Larsen?” Gene, one of the matchmakers, asks.

“
Please, call me Colton when we're out like this. Mister Larsen sounds way too stuffy.”

I'm surprised that he'd want anyone here to call him by his first name. He is the boss, after all. It doesn't seem right to be so relaxed with the highest up in your company food chain.

“
Alright, Colton. Dish it out. What can we expect?” Gene gestures for him to continue.

“
Is this what you guys do? Talk about work when you're out drinking?” He casts a smile in Gene's direction that suggests he'd rather not talk about work.

“
Isn't that what everyone does? We come out here to bitch outside of the office.”

“
Gene!” I glare at him. At least one person isn't afraid of Colton's position.

“
I like your honesty, man,” Colton laughs. “Still, I have a rule not to talk about business in my off time.”

“
I'm kind of curious too,” Kristi admits.

Colton looks over at her, then at me. “Do you want to know too?”

“
I don't care.” I shrug, feeling caught in the middle.

“
Of course, she does,” Kristi responds. “This affects all of us, you know.”

“
The new management team will be going over it in a business meeting with you guys shortly,” Colton tells us.

I see a change in his demeanor—the same thing I saw when he was at Full Hearts Matchmaking Service the other day making his introduction speech. He has switched from casual mode to business mode.

“
Surely, you have an idea of what you want to do with the company,” Gene says.

“
Would you like to order something, sir?” A waitress walks up to our table and addresses Colton.

He takes a quick glance at the drink menu before responding. “I'll take a martini, extra dirty.”

I grin. “Very James Bond of you.”

“
I like what I like.”

“
So dish out the deets, Larsen,” Gene presses.

“
The deets?” Colton chuckles. “There's not much to dish, I'm afraid. This month, I have the company under observation. I want to paint a better picture of how it works. I already have a general idea, but a month should give my management team the time to learn the ins and outs—what works and what doesn't.”

“
So you're not going to be doing anymore firing and moving people around?” Gene glances at me when he mentions the moving people around part.

I'll get to keep my office until Friday, though my position is currently in a strange sort of limbo. Jerry, the new office manager, had thought about switching me over to the sales team, but since it's been so long since I've worked in that department, I don't really remember what I'm supposed to do. Instead, he has me reading the sales team manual, basically taking a week off until Colton can have the tech people program the new chat system into the Full Hearts Matchmaking Service website. Then I'll be trained in how to use the system for a week before it actually goes live.

The fact that I'll be in the CSR room with the rest of the sales people makes me a bit unhappy. It felt like I had earned my office, but now it's being ripped away from me and given to someone else, and I'm just going to be lumped together with the employees on the bottom of the Full Hearts Matchmaking Service totem pole even though I'm earning more than they are. The other CSRs will probably resent me for it.

“
I'm not planning on it,” Colton tells him. “As long as everyone does their job, things should be stable for a while.”

“
So you have no idea what direction you want to take the company in?” Kristi asks.

“
Well, I know that I eventually want to expand. Put offices in other cities. But first, I need to bring the Houston office up to a profitable state.”

“
I thought it was already profitable.”

“
More like breakeven. I have confidence that I can turn things around.” He smiles at her reassuringly.

“
I certainly hope so.”

She doesn't seem convinced. In fact, a lot of my co-workers look a bit leery now, probably worrying about their job security. I'm not, though. After seeing the long list of companies that Colton owns, I'm fairly confident he'll be able to make Full Hearts Matchmaking Service profitable. Even though he's only supposed to be in observation mode, he's already working on making positive changes.

Thankfully, the conversation shifts away from work. Colton gets his drink, and my co-workers eventually relax around him a bit. We order food and pig out, and it's a generally good time.

Whenever we're all done eating, Colton leans over and asks if I'd like to walk around Hermann Park with him. I reluctantly agree. I do want to spend more time with him, though.

He offers to drive me, but I tell him I'd feel safer in my own car, so he climbs into my Prius with me instead, and we head to the park. I pull into the lot off of Hermann Park Drive, and we get out of the car and start walking towards McGovern Lake. The second that Colton flanks my side, he slips his hand into mine, curling our fingers together. It makes warmth surge up my arm, though it doesn't reach my face. Somehow, I'm beginning to get comfortable with the fact that he's so forward with his affection. Lord knows I like it. It's one of the things that's quickly making me feel closer to him, but also one of the things that makes me realize I've already become too attached. I know that if he were to disappear from my life tomorrow, I would be hurt. It's a strange thing to think, especially since we haven't known each other for very long.

“
So, are you seeing anyone else right now?” I ask, knowing that the answer could be painful.

“
No. Are you?” He glances down at me.

“
No.” I shake my head, wondering if he's lying. “Have you ever been married before?”

“
Is it time to interrogate me with personal questions?” He grins, seemingly amused.

“
I just want to get to know you better is all.” I shrug it off.

“
I have not been married before, but I was engaged once. What about you?”

The fact that he's been engaged before bothers me. When I realize it's because I'm jealous of whoever this mystery woman was, I frown. It's illogical for me to get jealous over his past. That was then. This is now. Besides, I highly doubt we'll ever get to the point where he proposes to me. I'm surprised we've made it this far.

“
Who was she?” I press for details.

“
A girl I went to college with,” his tone sounds tense. That probably means he still thinks about her—still regrets that they're no longer together. Thinking that makes my chest throb with pain. I don't want him to still be emotionally attached to anyone. I want him to be mine. All mine.