Unmatchable (13 page)

“
I know. Because I won't let anyone ever hurt me like that again. I'm a stronger person now. That still doesn't change that it happened.” I allow him to pull me against him, and I silently let the tears spill down against the front of his shirt.

Feeling his strong arms around me and listening to his steady heartbeat is soothing. I've been through dozens of therapy sessions, maybe over a hundred, but none of them have ever been more healing than this. Colton seems like he actually cares, and that makes me feel less like I have to bear this burden alone.

“
Once Nelson figured out that he could buy drugs with me, he didn't stop using me. It was easier to sell me off than to risk his own safety by stealing things. I became the cash for many of his drug dealings. And none of the experiences were good. No hand that has ever touched me has been kind. That's why I hate sex. That's why I'm scared of men.”

“
Oh God, Ember. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.” Colton's grip on me tightens, and he kisses the top of my head before gently raking his fingers through my hair. “I promise that I'll never hurt you like that, promise that I'll never pressure you into anything that you don't want to do. I may joke from time to time, but it's only that. I don't ever want to overstep your boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable. If I do, you'll tell me, alright. Promise me that you'll tell me.” He pulls me back by the shoulders to look at him.

“
I promise.” I nod meekly. “Thank you for being so considerate. I really do appreciate it.”

The rest of our date is spent talking about more pleasant things. We walk around the reflection pool and people watch. There's still an uneasiness in my chest, but I think it's more from the fact that I shared something with him that only my psychologist knows, and I'm afraid that he's secretly judging me and might not want to see me anymore. That would be a big red flag for any man—scare most of them away. Emotionally scarred girl who is terrified of sex. He's gorgeous and stable and can have anyone he wants. I don't really understand why he'd stick around after hearing that story.

If it has made him want me less, though, I can't tell. He continues to hold my hand and smile at me like nothing is wrong—like what we shared with each other is in the past, and it's time to move on from that and just enjoy being together. I like that idea, but I can't seem to let go. I wish I could. I wish it were as easy for me to return to a carefree state as it is for him.

After about an hour of leisurely touring the park, we return to my car, and I drive him back to the restaurant. There's an open space by his BMW, so I pull into it so that he doesn't have to walk far. The fact that we're about to part ways gives me a dark foreboding feeling. I worry that I might not ever see him again—that this might be the end for us.

“
I had a great time. Sorry for all of the deep conversation,” I tell him as I stare straight forward.

“
I enjoyed it. It helped me to get to know you better.” Colton takes my hand in his, drawing my attention to him.

“
I'm worried that the more you know about me, the less you'll want to get to know me better.”

“
That's not true, Ember. I think that all of your experiences have made you who you are, and that's an amazingly strong person.” He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, and I lean into his touch, enjoying it a bit too much.

“
You're so sweet. You don't even seem real.”

“
I'm very real. Let me show you how real I am.” He leans in to kiss me, and I resist the urge to pull away. Why I would want to pull away, I don't even know. He's been nothing but incredible.

As soon as our lips meet, the hesitation I was feeling fades away. His kiss is gentle at first, almost as if he's asking for permission. I unbuckle my seat belt so that I can reach him better, reaching to wrap my hand around the back of his neck and curl my fingers into the hair at his nape.

It's all the invitation he needs to deepen the kiss. His tongue dances over mine, and I taste him, savoring him. Need surges through me the likes of which I've never felt before. After our talk at the park, I feel connected to him—feel attraction on a deeper level. I brave capturing his bottom lip between my teeth and giving it a good tug, silently begging him for more. He pulls away from me, pressing our foreheads together.

“
Christ, Ember. How can you possibly expect me to control myself when you do something like that?” his voice is all seduction.

“
I'm so glad we're in my car and not in the park still. Behind a tree is starting to sound good,” I confess.

He glances into my backseat, which I try my best to keep immaculately clean. After living with slobs for most of my life, cleanliness is important to me. “It's not beyond me to have sex in public.”

“
No sex, remember.” I give him a half-sincere look.

“
You're such a tease.” He leans in again, trailing his mouth from my lips across my cheek to my ear, planting feathery kisses as he goes. When he nips at my earlobe, I shiver. “Please let me touch you. I need more than this. I'm not asking for sex. Just a little more.”

“
Just a little more,” I breath, knowing that I want it just as much as he does.

The armrest between us makes things a bit awkward, but Colton still manages to get his hands around my waist. He tries to pull me over to him, but when I don't budge, he changes tactics, placing his hand on my thigh instead.

My heartbeat speeds up as his hand makes its ascension under my skirt. I look down at it while his mouth travels to my neck. The skirt is so tight that I can see the perfect outline of his fingers—know exactly how close he is to the heat of my sex.

Warning sirens go off in my head—the guarded part of me that says this is wrong—but I push past them, knowing that this is what I need to heal. And he's been so good that I feel I owe it to him to touch me. More than that, I owe it to myself to allow him to give me sexual pleasure. I've reached a milestone today. Trusted someone else with my past. Now I need to trust that he meant what he said and won't hurt me.

Despite the range of emotions rolling through me, I spread my legs for Colton the best I can in the skin-tight dress. It gives him very little room, but he's still able to make it work.

A soft moan leaves my lips as he finally reaches my panties. His fingers are so much thicker than mine—feel a lot different than I thought they would. I close my eyes and sink into the sensation of being touched. To my surprise, it doesn't make me feel dirty at all. It feels amazing. So amazing that I have to resist the urge to grind against his hand.

“
Colton,” I taste his name in a sensual voice that I've never used before.

“
You are going to make me nut just from touching you. You are so incredibly sexy, Ember. Thank you for allowing me to share this moment with you.”

It's a strange thing to hear him say, but it sounds so earnest that it floods my chest with warmth. Every little piece of myself that I give to him is a gift, and I think he knows that. The fact that he's so appreciative—that he seems to acknowledge what a big deal this is to me—only makes me want him more. Only makes me crave his touch more.

“
Don't stop touching me,” I breathe, clutching onto his arm.

“
I wouldn't dream of it,” he whispers into my ear before trailing his tongue along it.

I shiver as he presses against the seam of sex, zeroing in on my nub. It pulses back against his finger, and I can feel my panties growing moist from knowing he's so close. His touch is sensual and teasing and slow and careful. The perfect combination of everything I need.

“
I'm going to make you come. Is that alright?”

“
Mhm,” I hum, lost in a state of bliss.

My lips turn into a permanent O as he starts rubbing back and forth, around and around in tight circles. Then his fingers dip lower, pressing against my slit. “You're so wet for me already,” he growls into my ear.

“
Oh God, Colton.” I grip his forearm, trying to steady myself. It feels like any moment I could fall over the edge, and he hasn't even touched me that much yet.

“
I want to feel your skin. I want to feel how wet you are inside.”

His fingertips crawl to the side of the crotch of my panties, and he digs beneath them before pulling them aside and exposing me. I whimper as the barrier is removed and his index finger taps gently at my clit. There's no question in my mind that it won't be long now before I lose it. I'm holding on with everything I have, but my body is about to give in.

Colton slicks his finger between my folds, and I shift my weight, pushing my hips up slightly to meet him. “Fuck, you're so eager. I want to taste you so badly.”

“
You're so crude,” I try to chastise him, but my voice just comes out a wanton mess.

“
And you're so wet.” His fingertip stops at my entryway, probing at my inner petals. The thickness of the digit has my clit pulsing non-stop, has me secretly begging him to fill me in any way possible.

“
Colton, I...”

“
You're what?” He grins, his expression all seductive smugness.

“
Kiss me.”

He acquiesces, his lips crashing against mine with an aggression I haven't felt from him before. Fireworks erupt all around me, and I'm so consumed by the kiss that I don't even see the grand finale coming. Colton plunges his tongue into my mouth. Then he plunges his finger all the way into me. His mouth devours my moan as my eyes roll into the back of my head and the muscles down below go into a fit of contractions that wreck me completely. It's so good that my eyes water. So good that I never even imagined it could be this good.

“
Jesus, Ember.” Colton drags his lips across my face and hisses into my ear as my back arches off of the seat and my toes curl.

“
Oh my God. Oh my God,” I pant, lost to everything in the world but this moment.

He keeps his finger inside, rubbing his thumb gently over my clit until the contractions subside. It seems to prolong my pleasure—only makes the orgasm better. When it's finally over, he withdraws his hand and pinches my underwear back into place. Then he brings his fingers up to his mouth glistening with my desire and sucks them clean. I stare at him, mesmerized. Nothing has ever looked sexier.

“
You taste amazing,” he purrs with closed eyes.

“
That was incredible.” I stare up at the roof of my car, trying to catch my breath.

“
You're incredible.” He smiles at me.

“
You're pretty great too.” I let out a contented laugh.

“
Will I see you later?”

“
If that's what you want.” I grin from ear to ear, feeling drunk on just being with him.

“
That's definitely what I want.” He reaches over to grab the door handle. “Have a good night, beautiful Ember.”

“
You too, Colton.”

And with that he leaves me basking in the afterglow of what we've done. Even after he drives away, I just sit there for several minutes smiling and thinking about what an amazing day it's been. Then a frightening realization comes over me. I'm falling for him. I'm falling for Colton Larsen, and there's absolutely nothing that I can do to stop it.

***

Before I even get back to my apartment, Colton has texted me asking me out on another date with him this weekend, this time to a charity function. My heart skips a beat knowing that he still wants to be with me, and I'm almost tempted to pull over onto the side of the road to respond. I don't, though. Instead, I'm responsible and wait until I get home.

The next day at work, the receptionist delivers two dozen red roses in a gorgeous vase to my office saying that a flower company dropped them off earlier. When I read the card attached to them, there's a message from Colton. It says, “A beastly bouquet for 'The Beast.' P.S. Don't throw away the vase. It's real crystal.”

I can't help but laugh at The Beast comment. While the card is far from romantic, the gesture certainly is. I spend the day staring at the flowers and reminiscing about last night. Even though we haven't known each other for long, it feels like our relationship is moving forward by leaps and bounds. That should scare me, but it doesn't. I'm enjoying the way that Colton treats me, and for once I'm actually looking forward to the future.

The next day, I receive another delivery. This time, it's a stuffed bear so large that the receptionist struggles to fit it through the door. Even sitting on the floor, it's every bit as tall as I am. The card attached to this one says, “To keep you warm at night until the day you let me take its place.”

That one really makes me swoon. It gives the air that he's in this for the long haul. And to be honest, so am I. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm now willing to ride this crazy train with him wherever it takes us. I just pray it doesn't go right off of a cliff.

After work, it takes two of my co-workers to help me fit the massive bear in the backseat of my car. By the time we get it in, we're all sweating and panting and exhausted. I thank them and send them on their way, then tap out a quick text to Colton, thinking about what a hard time I'm going to have dragging the thing into my apartment.