Unraveled By The Rebel (24 page)

Then, too, there was the question of Juliette and why Strathland
had made her so uncomfortable. From the look of undisguised interest on the man’s face, he intended to pursue her. Paul wasn’t about to stand aside and let that happen. Juliette had endured enough without having to face a man like the earl.

His impatience stretched tighter, along with the need to protect her. If he could convince Juliette to elope with him, they could both return to Scotland and start anew. One day, it might be the life she was accustomed to, once he inherited his uncle’s title and estates.

But that wouldn’t happen any time soon. Although Uncle Donald had provided him with the wardrobe of a viscount and money to spend, Paul still hadn’t touched any of it. It seemed wrong to take money from a family that had abandoned his father, all because Kenneth had wanted to wed a woman of a lower station. Now he was in the same straits as his mother, wanting to wed someone who was far above him.

He loathed every moment of living here in London. He didn’t belong in the city, and he couldn’t understand why Juliette wanted to stay here. The very air was tainted with soot, not at all like his beloved Highlands. He ached for the sight of the mountains and the clear lochs.

Paul stopped in front of the tiny flat he’d rented in London, having abandoned the town house a month ago. He paused in front of the door, wondering what he was doing. His friend Cain had advised him to behave like the viscount he would become one day. He’d worn the clothing, spoken openly about his inheritance, and attended events a physician had no right to attend.

They believed him. It amazed him that anyone would, considering he’d only learned how to behave this way in the past five years. Every moment of every day, the web tightened, making him question who he was now—a physician? A future viscount? Or a crofter’s son, still trying to build a different life?

And for what? A glimpse of the woman he’d loved? Protecting her in silence, while she made up her mind whether she was willing to risk a marriage?

No. This was no life for any man. Although he’d tried to be patient, he was now behaving like a besotted young fool. He’d given her more than enough time, and he planned to return to Scotland—with or without Juliette. He wanted an answer now.

Even if it was the wrong one.

Paul unlocked the door and went inside the cold, dark space. He built a fire in the hearth and stoked the coals. As he warmed his hands, a plan took shape within his mind.

It was too late to pay a formal call upon Juliette now, but he could still see her. He knew her habits, and he knew where her room was located within her aunt’s house. It would not be difficult to infiltrate the premises… especially with the help of a meddling younger sister.

Tonight, he decided. He would confront Juliette and determine if there was any hope at all or whether he was wasting his time.

Inside her bedroom, Juliette held her son in her arms, cooing softly to baby Matthew. He was asleep with his mouth pursed up, his warmth snuggled in the crook of her elbow. She’d taken him out of the nursery, wanting to spend a few quiet moments alone with him.

She sat back in the chair, feeling at peace. She could pretend for a few minutes that he was hers again, that he need not babble the words “Mum mum mum” to another woman. His hair had the scent of baby, and she savored the comfort of holding him in her arms.

The sound of a window opening made her rise to her feet in alarm.

“Don’t be dropping the bairn,” came the voice of Paul Fraser. “It’s only me.”

Only him?
She shrank back, wondering how on earth he’d managed to climb nearly to the third floor of her aunt’s town house. “You could have fallen to your death!”

He swung his other foot over the sill and closed the window tightly, then the drapes. “I don’t think so, no. Amelia let me inside, and I climbed over from the balcony beside this window. ’Twas no’ difficult.”

She ought to tell him to leave, for it was not at all a good idea for him to be alone with her in her bedchamber. Juliette risked a glance at the door, wondering if she should say anything.

Paul only crossed his arms. “Call out, if you like. They’ll only believe that I’ve compromised you. And we both ken where that will lead.”

Embarrassment flushed over her, along with a prickling rise of anticipation. He was wrong, of course. Her aunt and uncle would not allow him to wed her, even if they
did
believe he’d compromised her.

“It’s late, Dr. Fraser,” she said.

“Very,” he agreed. “Most of the household is asleep.”

“My sister shares this room with me,” she insisted. “Amelia is going to return.”

“She promised to grant me time with you. She’s sleeping in Margaret’s room and said she would stay there until morning.”

Now how on earth had he accomplished that? Her sister was an incurable romantic, but had he simply arrived at the front door and suggested it?

Paul crossed the room and stood before her. “Give the bairn back to his nurse, Juliette. I’m here for answers, and I’ll leave only when I have them.”

That much was clear from the dark cast to his face. There was a steely determination in his dark blue eyes, like a man who
was weary of waiting on her. And yet, she wasn’t ready to give him the answers she should. She’d been such a coward, trying to avoid everyone and everything.

But neither could she stand here with a sleeping baby, with a man who had no right to be in her room.

“Give me a moment,” she said. “Sit down.” She lifted Matthew to her shoulder and opened the door to the hallway. Silently, she took him back to the nursery, handing him over to the nurse. She took her time returning, knowing that Paul would be waiting for her.

But what could she say to him? Her heart was pounding, simply because he was here. And it was evident that he had no intention of leaving. His presence should have been a threat, and she ought to alert the servants.

Yet, she knew he would never harm her. He would not lay a hand upon her—he wanted only words. Her pulse quickened when she opened the door, closing it behind her.

“Lock it,” Paul ordered, and she obeyed. Within the room, the atmosphere grew heavier, almost heated. Gone was the good-natured lad who had spent a summer with her, teaching her to fish and to find her way among the mountains. Gone, too, was the gentleman who had sent her daily letters and danced with her. Now, he stood, a fierce Highlander who would no longer be brushed aside.

Juliette didn’t know what to say, and as he drew nearer, she found herself sinking into a chair, clasping her hands together.

“Look at me, Juliette,” he commanded. Then he pulled up a chair across from her. “I’ve finished with playing games. I tried to fit into your world and did a damned fine job of it. The matrons all wanted to wed their daughters to me. But there was only one I wanted.”

She forced herself to meet his gaze. In his eyes, she saw a hunger so great, it nearly undid her senses. He was angry, not only with her but with the society world surrounding her.

“You shouldn’t have followed me here,” she admitted sadly. It wasn’t fair, asking him to give up the home he loved, when she had invisible chains that bound her to a spinster’s life.

“I’ve waited for years, just for the sight of your bonny face again. And time and again, you push me away.” He moved in to cup her cheek. “Tell me now to leave you alone. That you can no’ bear to see me again, and I’ll go.” His hand stroked the edge of her jaw, kindling a longing she had to push back. “You willna see me again, unless you’re wanting to.”

Juliette held his hand against her cheek, the coldness of fear fighting against the heat he kindled. The idea of not seeing him was painful in a way she didn’t understand. Words tightened in her throat, and she knew she had no choice but to reveal everything.

“Tell me I mean naught to you,” he said. “Look into my eyes and say it.”

“It would be a lie.” Against her cheek, she felt the heat of his breath. Every part of her wanted to lean in to him, to lay down her burdens and take the comfort he offered.

“I’m returning to Scotland within a fortnight,” he said. “And I’m wanting you to come with me.”

She stole a glance at the door, thinking of her baby. Every moment with him had been a precious gift, to watch him grow older. “I don’t know if I can leave.” She’d done it before, but each day without Matthew had been its own torment.

“Then you’ll have no choice but to face Strathland,” he said quietly. “Without me to watch over you.”

Ice slid over her nerves, for he spoke the truth. In the earl’s eyes, she’d seen the obsession of a man who wanted to chase his prey. God help her, she had to avoid him at all costs. If for no other reason than to protect her son from ever learning of his true father.

“You would do that?” she asked. “Leave me to his manipulations?”

“It’s you who would choose that, lass. I’ve offered to take you
away from London. Time and again, I’ve asked you to wed me. What are you afraid of?”

“Myself,” she whispered. It was the most honest answer she could give. “I care about you, Paul. I do. But I worry that one day you’ll regret it if I say yes.”

“You’ll regret it if you
don’t
say aye,” he predicted, running his hand over the back of her neck. “Why do you no’ try being my wife for a few years? Where’s the harm in it?”

He wouldn’t be teasing her like this if he knew the truth. She took a breath. “What if I told you… that I don’t want to have any children? Would you still wish to marry me?”

His hand stopped moving. “I saw you with the bairn earlier, Juliette. And I’d say you do want children. Very much.”

This wasn’t working at all.

“What if I told you I didn’t want to share your bed? What if I asked you never to touch me?”

“Like I did at the
cèilidh
?” he ventured, his voice growing rough. “You wouldna want my hands upon your skin, tempting you?”

Blood rose into her flesh, and she felt herself yielding to his words. She could say nothing at all as he kissed the softness of her neck, pulling her against the hard planes of his body.

Unbidden, her arms went around his neck, welcoming his touch. Her breath shuddered until he pulled back, his eyes holding a searing desire.

“Strathland will no’ be able to touch you if you’re already wed,” he reminded her. “He’ll have no choice but to find another woman. And from the way his wool empire is crumbling, he’ll need an heiress.”

She stilled at his words. It was true, what he’d said about Strathland being unable to touch her if she were married. No man could. None, save Paul.

“If you’re afraid of our marriage bed, I swear to you I’ll no’ touch you until you want me to. You’ll have your freedom to do as you please, and we’ll share a home. Naught else, until you’re ready.”

The offer struck her speechless. Was he suggesting a celibate marriage?

She said nothing, studying his face to read beneath his words. “Why would you offer this, Paul?”

He raked a hand through his hair. “I shouldna offer it. I ken I should’ve left you long ago, when you told me to go.” His eyes narrowed. “But Strathland took my father from me. Damned if I’ll let him take someone else that I care about.”

“And what about you? What about your… desires?” she whispered, her face flaming. “How can I ask you to wed someone like me, when you’re giving up so much?”

He returned to stand before her. “Do you no’ believe you could make a home for us? Could we enjoy our time as man and wife together, until you’re ready for more?”

I’ll never be ready for more,
she thought. But his offer tempted her.

What would it be like to live with this man? She imagined sharing a home with him, seeing his face each morning. Although the vision of marriage should have made her uneasy, somehow the idea of living with Paul no longer threatened her. He might steal a kiss or touch her the way he had at the
cèilidh
. But if she asked him to stop, he would. She believed that without question.

Then, too, marriage to him offered a permanent escape from Strathland. Even if the earl did confess what he’d done, he could never force her into marriage. Not if she was already wed.

She let out a slow breath. “I need to think, Paul.”

He stepped back, granting her space. “If you agree, I’ll take you back to Scotland with me. We willna be needing your parents’ consent, or a special license, if we elope.”

Juliette didn’t ask what would happen if she refused. He would return to Scotland, as he’d said. She was strongly considering saying yes, not only because of the safety it offered… but also because it would leave an emptiness inside her if he left. Her
feelings had never dimmed over the years, although she was afraid of reaching for a life with this man. Wanting him this badly was dangerous for both of them.

And yet, being without him was far worse.

“I want your answer tomorrow night, at Lady Rumford’s ball,” he told her. “If you come, we’ll announce our betrothal. If you’re not there, I’ll leave for Scotland the next day.”

With that, he withdrew the silver ring from his pocket and left it on the table before disappearing into the night.