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Once he’s spotted me, it takes Tanner about twenty minutes to make his way over to me. I try so hard to move in opposition to him, but he must be more determined than I’ve given him credit for. As I feel him closing in on me, I make my way closer to the bar, where there’s a high concentration of people. Better to be near others than secluded with him.

“This is much different than the last time we were at one of these functions,” he says, appearing at my side. “You couldn’t get close enough that night, but now you can’t seem to get far enough away from me,” he says with his panty melting smile and I know I need to get away from him now.

“I don’t have anything nice to say to you, unlike last time, so it’s better that we keep our distance. Wouldn’t want to make a scene, no?” I say before I walk away. He just had to bring up that night, didn’t he? I’ve been doing my best to ignore the fact that the last time we were at one of these was when he made our relationship official and public. This is going to be a long night if this is how he plans on playing things. A trip down memory lane will do me absolutely no good. I know what we had then, and I know what we don’t have now. I don’t need him reminding me. He’s got a lot nerve.

I do my best to keep as far away from Tanner, but that means I have to keep an eye on him—watching him schmooze for hours, chatting everyone up to get donations for the kids. The irony isn’t lost on me. He’s raising money for
other people’s kids when he can’t accept his own… He may claim he wants in now, but how can I believe that after the things he said?

I see Tanner head toward the stage for his speech, and that’s my cue to make sure I’m not around. I can’t bear to listen to him babble on about helping to save these strangers’ kids when he’d wanted me to get rid of his own. I don’t think I’d be able to keep down the chicken that was served for dinner.

I head into the hallway behind the ballroom and stroll along it, admiring the artwork on the walls until the faint buzz of Tanner’s voice over the sound system turns into an applause and I’m sure he’s finished with his hypocritical speech. I head back in to the party and stand on the sidelines, watching everyone enjoy their evening. I see Quinn and Alex having a great time out on the dance floor. They look as though they’ve never been happier. I’m jealous for a moment when the music slows down and Alex wraps his arms around her, drawing her close for the dance. I’m taken aback by the sadness of the song. It seems an odd choice for a New Year’s party, but whatever.

I close my eyes and listen to the lyrics Christina Aguilera’s melodious voice is belting out. She’s sorry for hurting someone and wishing she had just one more chance. I guess I can see the correlation to the starting of a new year when I think about it—washing away the sadness and mistakes of the old year. If only it were that easy.

“I asked the DJ to play this song,” a strong, familiar voice says from behind me.

“Congratulations,” I say sarcastically. I’m not sure what someone says to something like that except to ask why, but I don’t want to engage him. I want him to go away, so there’s no way I’m asking that question. I smell his cologne as he gets closer to me, and it does nothing to calm my libido.

“Don’t you want to know why?” he says closer to my ear, standing close enough that I can feel his breath on my neck. It makes me shiver. Fuck! The last thing I need is for him to think he still has an effect on me, which he doesn’t—just on my fucking uncontrollable hormones.

“Not even a little bit,” I spit out as harshly as I can. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

I don’t even get a step away before he wraps his fingers around my upper arm, stopping me. The instant his skin touches mine, that familiar and undeniable jolt of electricity buzzes through me. I hear his gasp, so he must feel it too… and know that I’m still affected by him. Just what I fucking need. Why the hell can’t I get my body on board with the hate in my heart?

“Because almost every word of this song applies to me and you. Because I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’m sorry for the things I said that definitely weren’t true. I’m sorry for blaming you,” he says.

I sense him staring at me, but I’m not ready to look at him just yet. I take a deep breath, straighten my spine, and meet his gaze. “Good for you, Tanner.” I pull my arm away from him and head back toward the hallway I’d hidden in earlier. I remember seeing a restroom there, and I need somewhere to pull myself together. I really wish my pussy would get the message that she shouldn’t get turned on by that asshole.

I reach the bathroom and am relieved to find it’s empty. I grab a paper towel, run it under the cold water, and blot the back and sides of my neck with it, hoping to cool myself down. Behind me, I hear the door open and close. Then there’s a click, like that of a lock sliding into place. I lean back to look around the partition that separates the sitting area of the bathroom from the facilities area only to find Tanner striding toward me as though he’s on a mission.

“Don’t you understand?” he asks, shaking his head.

“What? That you’re a grade-A asshole? Yes, I understand that better than most,” I say, cocking my head and flashing him a snarky smile.

“No, Ashley. I made a mistake. I’ve apologized for that mistake. I’ll keep apologizing for that mistake, because I’ll do anything to make things right between us. What’s it going to take for you to realize that we belong together? Don’t think I didn’t notice that little shiver back there,” he says, invading my space again. He’s so close that he’s shorting out all my mental circuits. The tux, the cologne, the apologetic rasp of his voice—I need to get away from him.

“Nothing, because we don’t belong together. If we did, you would’ve never treated me the way you have,” I say, trying to sound strong as I ignore his comment about my reaction to his touch.

He closes the last bit of space left between us. “I recall you liking all the ways I treated you, Ashley. I’ve felt your beautiful eyes following me all night, and I could practically hear all the dirty thoughts running through your mind,” he says in that tone he always uses when he’s trying to convince me of something. He hasn’t lost using it yet. “You look absolutely beautiful tonight.” He runs his nose down the side of my neck, from my ear to my collarbone.

I don’t have enough resolve to fight him off, but maybe if I can give in to this feeling on my own terms, I can make it out of here with my heart still intact. I hate him. I know that. But right now, I want to hate him while he’s buried inside me, making me forget everything including my name.

“Yes, I know. I’ve been told. Repeatedly,” I say, baiting him. If I’m not leaving here unscathed, neither is he. Two can play at this game. The only difference between us is that I don’t give two shits what he thinks of me after I get what I need.

He grips my hip. “Who’s been telling you that?” he asks, his tone hard and jealous. Perfect, exactly what I want.

“None of your concern.” I push his hand away but don’t quite let go of him. My eyes stay glued to our connected hands.

Tanner must see whatever it is he’s looking for in my reaction because his expression becomes harder, more possessive. “Everything about you concerns me, Ashley,” he says, gripping both of my hips now.

“Not anymore,” I say, sounding breathier than I’d wanted to. My traitorous body caves to his touch, and my lower half has molded itself to his.

“I bet your body thinks otherwise, baby,” he says, sliding his hand from its spot on my hip to the slit of my dress. He drags his fingers up my exposed thigh to my panties, where they pause as if he’s expecting me to stop him, but I can’t formulate a coherent thought with how he’s touching me. He finally slides his hand up farther and his fingers find their prize.

The small contact between his fingers and my clit, even over my thong, sends my overly needy body into a sensory tailspin. I know doing this with him is wrong, and I’m sure I’ll regret it tomorrow, but I want it so badly right now.

“Just as I thought, Ashley,” he whispers into the air. I close my eyes and try to tune him out as best I can but he has other plans. He probably wants me to say something back. He has always liked dirty banter during sex, but he isn’t going to get it today. “You’re so wet, baby. Your pussy misses me, doesn’t she?” he asks, gliding my panties down my legs and pulling them off. He drops to his knees and buries his face between my legs.

I hear him inhale deeply, taking in the scent of my arousal, and the sound makes me even wetter. The first lick along the seams of my folds sends my senses spiraling out of control. He licks me again and again in rapid succession, taking me to the edge as he assaults my flesh in the best of ways and pushes me over in record time. I try to hold my scream at bay, but I can’t. My orgasm rocks me to my core, sending me soaring to the highest of heights. I’m so high up that it seems impossible for this sensation to be wrong.

“Fuck,” he growls, standing and unbuckling his belt. His pants and boxers hit the floor with impossible speed. Stepping out of them, he roughly grabs me and pushes me toward an upholstered chair in the sitting area of the bathroom. He sits down and pulls me between his legs. Using the slit in my dress for easy access, he pulls the skirt over the sides of my legs, exposing my lower body.

When I glance into the mirror in front of us, I see the moisture dripping down my legs, and I’m sure he must see it too. My suspicions are confirmed when he gathers my juices with a finger and brings it to his mouth, licking it clean.

“Mmm, exquisite as ever.” He moans. “Sit on my cock, Ashley.”

I don’t want to oblige any order of his, but old habits die hard. I hate to let him think he’s winning, that he can still boss me around. If I didn’t want to ride his cock as badly as I do, I’d tell him to fuck off, but I want him so much it hurts. Without further hesitation, I impale myself on his hard, rigid length.

“Ahhh…” I moan out, enjoying the burning stretch of having him fill me.

He grabs my legs and drapes them over his, spreading me wide. “See that, Ashley?” he asks, nodding toward the full-length mirror on the wall in front of us. “Watch me fuck you.”

Like a car accident on the side of the road, I don’t want to look, but I can’t pull my gaze away. I have a front row seat to his show. He digs his fingers into my hips, giving him the leverage he needs to bounce me up and down, and I watch his cock slide in and out of me as if its sole purpose is to please me.

“Your pussy knows my cock belongs in it, Ashley,” he growls. “It’s like she never forgot me. Your body knows we belong together, that we fit together perfectly.”

“Will you please just shut the hell up and fuck me?” I demand, tired of hearing his voice. Hearing him talk takes away from my pleasure. In silence, I can close my eyes and pretend the man I’m on top of isn’t him, pretend he’s someone else who actually deserves to be fucking me right now.

He finally shuts his mouth and does what I want him to—fucks me. In and out. Over and over. I feel my orgasm brewing on the horizon, so close I can taste it. Unfortunately, the asshole under me is the only one who’s ever been able to get me to this point. I’ve missed it, and it’s almost within reach.

“Harder, Tanner,” I order. “Stop dragging this out.”

Again, he does what is asked of him with no comment, fucking me harder, faster, and deeper. My orgasm barrels through my body, making me lose all motor and cognitive function. I scream out his name from force of habit and dig my nails into the hands that are gripping my hips with punishing force.

He’s still thrusting into me when my body collapses into a heap in his lap. He comes roaring my name along with every curse word in the book and a few that might be new.

I don’t want this to be mistaken for anything other than a quick fuck, so I stand as soon as I’m able to, causing his cock to fall from my body. I quickly head over the sink area to clean myself up, trying to make it look as though I haven’t just had my brains fucked out.

It doesn’t take Tanner long to follow suit. He picks up his pants and boxers, getting dressed with a smile on his face. His eyes meet mine in the mirror, and he steps up to stand behind me. “I’m so glad you were listening, Ashley. I’ve been so miserable without you,” he says, smoothing my hair back into place.

I look at him for a moment before letting him know exactly where I stand. “I don’t know what you think just happened, but let me enlighten you. That wasn’t me coming around. That was me needing to be fucked. Contrary to what you may think, I’m not a dirty whore, and I won’t be fucking anyone else while pregnant with your child. That’s disgusting. So basically, I wanted something that, unfortunately, only you can give me. Nothing has changed. I still loath you.”

The look on his face is priceless, and I know I should feel bad but I just can’t.

“Come on. You can’t deny that we belong together, especially after that,” he says, running his hands through his hair in exasperation.

I give him a sad smile and push away from the counter. “I thought we did at one time, but that time seems like it was ages ago.”

“What can I do to get you to understand that I’m sorry and didn’t mean all those things?” he asks, watching me pull open the door to head into the hallway.

A song drifts in from the ballroom, and it couldn’t be more perfect, “You hear that song, Tanner? I didn’t request it, but it most definitely describes how I feel about you.”

He stands there, staring at me with devastation on his face. I can’t bring myself to care though, because like the song says, it’s too late to apologize.