Untangle My Heart (Tangled Hearts) (24 page)

He opened the door. “I’ll be here to help you through it. Besides, everyone here drives erratically. You’ll fit right in no matter how you do.”

“And what makes you think you’ll be any more successful than the others?”

He cupped a hand under her chin. “Because I can use my mouth and hands to relax you where as the others couldn’t.” After a heart stopping kiss, he gave her a gentle push into the car and shut the door.

Guess he had a point since he managed to maneuver her into the driver’s seat.

She sat staring at the keys, lecturing herself on all the reasons why she needed to do this.

“This is not a good idea,” she said in a quiet voice.

Edward covered a hand with his and turned her head to face him. “We can neck a little first if it will help relax you.” His voice teased, but his eyes were serious as they bored into hers.

“Will I be able to convince you that this is a bad idea?”

He shook his head.

“You are the most stubborn man.”

He gave her a cocky smile. “Like you should talk.”

She hated it when he was right. Her hands shook as she started the engine.

“You’d better be prepared to buy me a glass of wine when we’re through.” And drive home, she thought.

She fastened her seatbelt and checked the mirrors three times before she felt brave enough to back out of the parking spot. She hit the gas too hard at first, causing the car to lurch back.

“Dammit.” She slammed on the brakes. “Sorry.”

“Easy, luv. You’re fine.” He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

She started again and backed out of the spot. It took her a little bit, but she eased the car out of the garage and into the flow of traffic. She drove slower than the norm for city traffic, but she didn’t care.

After driving a couple blocks without any incident, they approached a red light. Tight fingers gripped the steering wheel as she braked. The light turned green and just as she started to press the accelerator, the car behind her beeped with impatience, causing her to jolt.

She could hear him crying from the back seat. She glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw her sweet Tony buckled in his car seat, crying for her to stop the car.

Although as she knew it was only a memory, she saw and heard her son as clearly as though it were happening.

“Stop car, Mommy,” Tony sobbed.

She wanted to comfort him, but couldn’t risk pulling over. If she did, Mario would catch up to them, and she was too afraid what he would do if that happened. No, she needed to keep going and try to get to her parents’ house. They would help her.

“Soon, my baby. Mommy won’t let anything happen to you.
Don’t worry, sweetie.”

Tears filled her eyes but she didn’t swipe at them for fear of letting go of the steering wheel. She pressed the accelerator and the car propelled forward. Her breathing increased and she fought to focus on the road, on getting to safety.

That conversation had taken place minutes before the crash. All she could think of—even all these years later—is how she didn’t keep her promise to her son. How she couldn’t protect him when he needed her most.

Suddenly, she became aware of being shaken and a voice telling her to pull over. She snapped out of her daze and realized Edward had spoken.

“There’s a spot up ahead. Pull into it,” he said.

He helped guide the car into the space, which by some miracle she didn’t have to parallel park to get into, and put the car into park.

Shaky hands still gripped the steering wheel and she fought not to hyperventilate.

“Talk to me, Kate. Are you all right?” Edward asked.

She turned and saw his handsome face etched with concern and worry. She wanted to be strong and tell him she was fine but knew it was a lie. Instead she shook her head, fresh tears streaming down her face.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you,” he said.

With a quick move, he unbuckled her seatbelt, pulled her to him, and let her sob against his shoulder while he stroked her back. She hated being this vulnerable in front of him. Over the past four years, she’d been successful at ignoring her pain, only giving in to the tears in the privacy of her home. But for some reason, she didn’t feel the need to suppress her grief with Edward. Several minutes passed before she could bring herself to speak.

“I heard him—Tony. I know it’s not real, but I can see him, hear him cry and call out for me. I feel the same panic I felt that day, the urgency to escape, to get us both to safety.”

“Was it any less painful than the other times you’ve tried to drive?”

“Maybe a little. It’s fine at first, just my nerves. But when that car honked, it jolted me back in time and I felt helpless.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You did fantastic. Maybe if we try more frequently, we can chase the ghosts away.”

They switched places, and Kate rested her eyes as he drove. She hated the struggle to overcome her fear of driving, though it had been easier this time. For the first time in a while, Kate felt the smallest bit of hope she may have a chance at overcoming her demons. And she had Edward to thank for that.

****

Kate sat in the front pew of St. Christopher’s, anxiously waiting for Christmas Eve mass to start. She looked at her watch for the fifteenth time that minute, noting it was almost four o’clock and the kids in the children’s choir would start lining in front of the altar any moment now. Lucas would be among those children and she needed to see his face.

She’d wanted to stop by the orphanage and pick him up, but by the time they loaded up Edward’s car with gifts and maneuvered through the holiday traffic, they just had enough time to change for mass and come directly to church.

The church decorating committee had outdone itself this year. Red poinsettias framed the altar, while others were scattered around the bases of statues in the old church. The lights had been kept low, and the artificial Christmas trees that stood behind the altar glowed with the sparkle of miniature white lights. Red bows fastened to every other pew added to the festive decorations.

Beside her, Edward squeezed her tightly clenched hands, sensing her anxiousness. Ever since Sal’s goon broke into her apartment, everywhere she went, she’d looked for signs of Sal or anyone from the DiSilva family. Things had been quiet, almost too quiet. Although she’d explained the situation to Father Dominic and they were keeping a close eye on Lucas at the orphanage, she couldn’t help but worry for the child’s safety.

Kate straightened in her seat when the children started filing out of the side door and into the church. Since Lucas was one of youngest members of the choir, he stood in the front of the line. The kids wore short white robes with yellow ribbons at the neckline. Lucas searched the crowd until he met her eyes and gave her a nervous smile. She waved and blew him a kiss.

Mass was beautiful, and Kate felt tears trickle down her face when the children sang. She’d avoided attending this particular mass ever since Tony died, unable to bear knowing her son would never get to be a part of it. But it wasn’t Tony she thought of tonight as she sat holding Edward’s hand; it was Lucas. She kept her eyes locked on Lucas’s sweet little face and her heart lurched when he gave her a little wave between songs.

After mass, they returned to the pizzeria for Christmas Eve dinner. Tables had been combined so they all could sit together. They were expecting about fifty people, including Meghan and Charles, plus family of the staff helping out and some extended family of Kate’s.

It was an Italian tradition in her family to celebrate Christmas Eve dinner with the Feast of the Seven Fishes, also known as
Vigilia di Natale
, or Vigil of the Nativity. Her mother had practically lived in the kitchen the past few days cooking and preparing for the meal. Vicky had made the bread being passed around and even experimented with some new dessert recipes. Last weekend, her sister forced Kate and Edward to sample her latest creations. And while Kate had been more than happy to be the guinea pig for her sister’s decadent concoctions, it meant she’d had to add another half mile to her regular jogging workout the past week.

Edward and Kate sat together, along with Meghan and Charles. Lucas sat at the smaller table designated for the younger children of the family. Kate remembered her pleasure when she was old enough and finally allowed to move up to the adult table. Especially since Nick had been promoted up a couple years before and used to tease her for sitting at the “baby table,” as he liked to call it.

Everyone bowed their heads while her mother led them in a short prayer before the antipasto appetizer was served. Wine flowed in abundance and the conversation level rose while they ate. Kate watched Meghan and Charles, glad to see the tension in their faces from the hospital scare gone.

Edward’s shoulder bumped hers when he leaned forward to refill their wine glasses. While she watched him pour, it occurred to her that this was the first holiday she’d spent with a significant other since Mario had died. As much as she’d tried to convince herself it didn’t matter whether she was alone the rest of her life, it felt right having Edward next to her.

After he finished pouring, Edward handed her the wine. “A toast to a memorable Christmas,” he said and clinked her glass.

His eyes sparkled as he watched her while he drank. Her stomach clenched at the thought that she may actually be falling for him—possibly already had. No. She shook her head to clear such crazy thoughts. It was just sex between them. Nothing more than fantastic, rock-your-world, better-than-chocolate sex.

Who was she kidding? It was the most earth-shattering sex of her life, and lately there’d been a change in their love-making into an emotional connection she’d never felt before, even with Mario. She took a deep swallow from her wine glass.

“Does your family have a huge dinner like this every Christmas Eve?” Edward asked, leaning to the side so he could be heard over the noise.

“It’s a family tradition, going back as far as I can remember,” Kate replied.

“What exactly is the significance of the seven fish?”

“There are different views on its origin, but my grandmother once told me that the number seven stood for the number of Sacraments in the church. There’s Baptism, Penance, Holy Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Anointing of the Sick.”

“What about the type of fish? Is that important?”

“I don’t think so. We usually have the same fish, though my parents try and mix up how the food is prepared. Plus, there are the side dishes that are often different. You’ve never experienced an Italian Christmas Eve dinner before?”

“Not that I can recall,” Edward said.

“Believe me when I say you would know if you had. I hope you’ve brought your appetite with you.”

He grasped her hand and pressed his lips to it. “I most certainly have.”

The smoldering look in his eyes told Kate that his appetite was for more than just food. Just sex, she reminded herself, and squeezed his hand.

Suddenly, a loud explosion of shattering glass reverberated through the room. People cried out as they jumped up from the table. Kate leaped up from her chair and ran over to push Lucas behind her. She caught a brief glance of Nick leaning down to look at whatever had been launched through the front window.

Edward pulled her and Lucas aside. “Are you both all right?”

“We’re fine. That looked like a brick that was thrown. Did I imagine it, or was there a dead rose tied around it?” she demanded.

He frowned. “I’m afraid so.”

She fisted her hands at her side. “Dammit. How dare he come to my family’s restaurant and do something like this. It’s one thing to take out his sick vendetta on me, but risking the lives of these other people is too much.”

“We’re not exactly dealing with someone playing with a full deck, now are we?” Edward said.

Meghan and Charles approached them.

“Does this have something to do with that psycho who trashed your place?” Meghan asked.

“It appears so,” Edward said.

His voice was calm, but his eyes flashed with anger and something else she didn’t recognize. Protectiveness, maybe?

He met his brother’s gaze. “Stay here while I see what’s going on.”

Charles nodded and stepped closer to the women.

Lucas squeezed Kate’s hand. “Why did someone throw a brick through the window?”

“I don’t know, baby. But whoever did it must be very lonely and sad to do it on a special day like today.” She clasped his hand. “I don’t want you to be afraid. My brother Nick is a cop, remember? He’ll take care of it.”

Lucas thought about this and nodded. “Will we still get to eat and open presents?”

Kate pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head. “Of course. We’re not going to let this ruin our party.”

After the police came to take pictures and statements from people, the men boarded up the window, while Kate and some of the workers cleaned up the glass. After a short announcement that everything was fine, the festivities resumed. You couldn’t knock down a family of Italians, especially with a kitchen full of food to enjoy.

****

Hours later, Edward carried a sleeping Lucas upstairs to Kate’s old bedroom. Kate had made arrangements with the orphanage to allow him to spend the night and Christmas morning with her. She hoped next year he would be a permanent part of her family.

Lucas woke while she was helping him into his pajamas.

“Is it morning yet?” he asked.

“No, it’s very late. You need to go to bed if you want Santa to come,” Kate whispered in the darkened room.

“How will Santa know that I’m here and not at St. Vincent’s? What if he forgets to bring me presents?” he asked, a worried look over his face.

Kate stroked his face. “Santa has special powers and knows where all little kids are. He found you when you first went to St. Vincent’s, right? He’ll find you just fine here.”

He nodded and got into bed.

Kate tucked in the covers and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Will Santa make you my mommy tomorrow?” he asked.

Kate’s heart lurched. “As much as Santa would like to, he can’t make me your mommy just yet. There’s legal stuff that has to happen. I’ve started the process, but it takes a while to make it official.”
And tonight’s episode may put yet another delay in getting everything finalized.