Untangle My Heart (Tangled Hearts) (26 page)

Kate hated the divorce her brother was going through and that his bitch of a wife got pleasure in making things difficult. Since their kids were young, Kate would have thought Franny would be sensitive to how her animosity toward Nick affected their kids. Rather, she seemed completely fine with alienating her children from their father.

She removed the first batch of pancakes and poured more batter on the griddle. Then breaking one in half, she handed it to Nick.

“I’m sorry if having Lucas here today is making you miss them more,” she said.

“I would be missing Gina and Joey regardless if Lucas wasn’t here. He’s a good kid. It’s hard to resent him being here.”

“I’m glad you think so. I think this is the best Christmas he’s had since his family died.”

“So, when are you going to tell me what’s really going on with him?”

Kate turned back to the griddle to flip the pancakes. She could feel Nick’s cop gaze studying her and knew he was trying to get her to admit to something she wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kate replied.

He touched her arm and turned her to face him. “Bullshit. You know exactly what I mean. It’s not too hard to figure out your intentions. He’s an orphan. You’ve been spending a lot of time with him, not to mention got him some pretty pricey gifts out there.”

She jerked her arm back. “The boy doesn’t have anything. I wanted him to be happy.”

Nick rested his hands on her shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze. “Why would you do that if you didn’t want to take it further? I’m sure having a new mother would make Lucas very happy, probably better than any gift Santa could bring. Am I wrong?”

Kate knew it was futile to argue with him. Nick knew her better than almost anyone else in her family, except for her mother.

“No, you’re not wrong.”

A grin spread over his face and he hugged her tightly to his chest. “I’m glad. Have you started the paperwork?”

“Yes, but things have gotten complicated with me being stalked by psycho Sal. I haven’t told anyone but Meghan and Karen.”

“Does Lucas know?”

She nodded. “He wanted Santa to make me his mommy for Christmas. I had to explain to him that it was more complicated than that.”

A loud ruckus from the other room had Kate and Nick glancing up at the doorway. Vinnie came storming into the kitchen and headed over to the coffeepot.

“The game over already, Vin?” Nick asked.

Vinnie grunted in response.

“Awww, did you get beat by a six-year-old, hon?” Kate said.

“That six-year-old is too clever for his own good,” Vinnie said.

“Wasn’t Edward helping him?” Kate asked.

“Some, but not that much. Damn kid kicked my ass.” Vinnie sulked into his coffee.

“It’s just a game, Vin. Not a big deal,” Nick replied.

“I told him we’d do a rematch after I drank my coffee,” Vinnie grumbled. “Don’t know why we had to get up this goddamned early anyway.”

Kate looked at her younger brother and wondered what gene pool he came from. She’d never seen such a lazy, whiny grown man in her life. Lucas behaved better than her brother.

“Because Lucas is six and was excited to open presents from Santa, that’s why. He woke Edward and me up before the crack of dawn, but do you see us complaining?”

“Why is he here? I know he’s an orphan and all that, but what’s up with him spending the night? It’s not like he’s family.”

Furious now, Kate thrust the spatula at Nick and stomped over to her younger brother. She shoved at Vinnie’s chest, pushing him against the counter.

“You don’t know anything. You are a self-centered and immature prick.” She dug her finger deeper into his chest and saw him wince. “You’d better start thinking of Lucas as family, because soon he will be. I’m adopting him, you jackass, and I’d appreciate you getting over yourself and giving me a little support.” Kate whirled away from Vinnie and jumped when she saw Edward standing in the doorway. By the paleness of his face and dazed look, clearly he’d heard what she said. So much for breaking the news to him in private.

“Is it true, then? You’re planning on adopting Lucas?” Edward asked, his eyes boring into hers.

She nodded and met his gaze. “Yes.”

“I see.” He backed up a step.

“Edward, wait—”

“You’ll have to excuse me. I need some fresh air.”

He walked out of the room and toward the front door.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him,” Nick said.

“I tried, but something always distracted me from discussing it.” Like having her clothes removed and being kissed brainless. “Guess I really blew that.”

“Ya think?” Nick replied.

“Wow, Kate. Why didn’t you say you were going to adopt him?” Vinnie said.

Like that would have stopped her brother from being a jerk. Doubtful. Now it was too little too late and she had to do damage control. And from the look of betrayal Edward gave her moments ago, it was not going to be easy to get his forgiveness.

Chapter Nineteen

Adoption, Edward fumed as he stormed down the block. How had he not thought of it? Reflecting back now to the past month, it was obvious, but he’d never given it a fleeting thought. Of course, how could he have when he was too busy trying to figure out a way to get Kate out of her clothes?

He shivered and buttoned his coat, which he’d thrown on over his sweat pants. In the coldness of the December morning air, he walked. He didn’t have a destination in mind, just needed to get out of the house.

When the argument between Kate and Vinnie had started to rise, he sought them out. He knew Kate’s family spoke loudly as part of everyday conversation, and sometimes they sounded mad when they weren’t. Having been raised in a reserved, upper-class British household, Edward hadn’t been allowed to speak loudly or talk back to his parents. Often, children weren’t allowed to speak unless asked a direct question. It had taken him some time to get used to Kate’s family, and now, their bickering amused him.

However, as he had approached the kitchen, Edward could tell from the tone of their voices that this was a full-blown argument. Kate, clad in slippers and pajamas, only came up to Vinnie’s shoulders, but that hadn’t stopped her from bullying him into the counter. Her back was to the door, so he couldn’t see her face, but he knew by the set of her shoulders she was pissed.

When he heard her state her plans to adopt Lucas, everything that occurred over the past month clicked into place. How could he not have seen it? How could he have allowed himself to start to believe she cared about him for more than sex? Clearly she hadn’t, otherwise she would have confided her plans to him. What a fool he was to have misjudged what he thought was growing between them—what he was starting to feel for her.

He stopped in a convenience store and bought a cup of coffee. It wouldn’t be good, but it would help ease the coldness. Outside again, he turned left at the corner and headed toward the cemetery, where he sat on a bench while drinking the muddy beverage. It didn’t take long before he felt her presence next to him.

“You’re a hard man to catch up to,” Kate said, clearly winded based on the deep breaths she took.

“I wasn’t trying to be caught,” Edward said, his tone bland and devoid of emotion.

He didn’t look at her, but could see from his peripheral vision she wore Uggs over her pajamas, a dark coat, and a red cap over her disarray of curls. Curls that just that morning he’d fisted in his hands.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he wanted her, which may be the root of his problem. He’d allowed himself to get too close to her, something he’d never done before. He didn’t have relationships with woman. He fucked them and moved on. Somehow, with Kate, he’d abandoned his most basic principal of dating. And now he felt like a fool.

Kate sat on the bench next to him.

“I’m sorry you found out about Lucas the way you did. I tried several times to tell you, I even tried talking about it this morning, but…you know…” She looked away.

Right. This morning, when he’d been rock hard and all he could think of was sliding inside her, she had wanted to talk.

“So you’re telling me with as much time as we’ve spent together, there was no other opportunity to mention you’re planning on adopting Lucas?”

Kate huffed out a breath. “I only just made the decision and have been trying to get used to the idea myself. I didn’t know how you’d react and wanted to wait to tell you—and even my family—until things were more certain with the adoption. Nick guessed this morning, and I only shouted it out to Vinnie because he’s a jerk and complained about Lucas being here today. I fucked up, Edward. I’m sorry for not telling you.”

He knew apologizing wasn’t easy for her but couldn’t find it in himself to forgive her.

“How, pray tell, is this different than when I didn’t tell you about lending money to your father?”

He felt her stiffen next to him.

“I specifically asked you not to loan my family money, and you did it anyway. I don’t recall you telling me not to adopt Lucas.”

Guess she had him there.

“True. I suppose it boils down to trust and you not trusting me.”

“I do trust you, but I needed to make this decision on my own. It had nothing to do with you. My decision to adopt is very emotional for me. I’d given up all hope of having another child until I met Lucas.”

“What made you change your mind?”

They sat in silence for a few moments before she continued. “I saw a young boy, the same age as Tony would have been if he’d lived, who didn’t have a family. The first day I met Lucas, he would barely look at me. Somehow, the losses we have in common helped us bond, and now look at him. He’s come out of his shell and now we can’t shut him up.”

Edward recalled the pure joy on Lucas’s face as he opened presents. He had something to say about every gift, including everyone else’s, and was practically bouncing out of his slippers all morning.

Edward couldn’t remember ever being allowed to be free with his feelings, as much as he remembered wanting to do the same thing on Christmas morning. No, his parents taught him and Charles to suppress their feelings, to stifle all emotional responses. Watching Lucas and seeing how Kate’s family spoiled the child made Edward realize that financial wealth couldn’t compete with emotional well-being. While he’d never wanted for anything material, he’d never gotten the love and affection he’d craved.

“True enough,” Edward replied.

“While I watched him transform, I started to understand why Tony was taken away from me. I always thought I’d done something wrong, like I wasn’t a good enough wife or mother.”

“That’s nonsense,” Edward interjected.

“Maybe, but that’s what I’ve always thought—until recently. Now I see losing Tony helped make me strong and prepared me to be a mother to Lucas. I never thought of raising someone else’s child, but I’m certain Tony led me to Lucas, and this is what I was meant to do.”

“Even raise him yourself?”

She looked at him. “Yes. I went into this expecting to be a single parent. That hasn’t changed.”

“I see.” He clenched his jaw and forced himself to push the hurt aside. “Have you started the process?”

“I only just submitted the paperwork. I’m waiting for a home visit, but Father Dominic suggested we hold off until after the holidays. Then there’s the issue of Sal, which could make this complicated. I can’t put Lucas’s life at risk. It’s bad enough I’m putting you, Meghan, and Charles at risk.”

“We’re not complaining.”

“I know. I can’t do that to Lucas. I couldn’t survive if anything happened to him, too.”

Edward followed her gaze over to the headstone across the path, where Tony rested.

“So how do I fit into this equation?” he asked.

She met his eyes. “How do you want to fit in?”

He didn’t know. He cared for both her and Lucas, more than he wanted to admit, but he wasn’t ready to give her more and wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to.

“Look, Edward,” she said when he didn’t reply. “I’m not trying to trap you into any sort of commitment. I’m adopting Lucas. Period. While that will change some aspects of my life, I don’t want it to affect us.”

While he breathed a little easier knowing she wasn’t expecting marriage, a part of him was bothered by her presumption. Was she right or did he want more?

“But it will affect certain things. Take this morning as an example. How are you going to explain my being in your bed to him or will that have to stop?”

“Lucas knows we’re dating. I don’t think he’d question you staying over, plus he’s already seen us in bed together. It may mean we have to wear clothes when we sleep or make sure the door is always locked. I don’t have all the answers, but we can figure it out together.” She held out her hand to him.

Together? How could she say that when she made all the decisions unilaterally. She hadn’t considered him at all. This was too much, too quickly. It was difficult enough for him to sort out his feelings for her…he wasn’t sure he was ready for this. He stared at her outstretched hand. Complications like this were why he’d always kept things casual with women.

“I’m not sure I can right now. I need time to think, to get used to this.”

She yanked back her hand. “Okay. I understand.”

Although she’d said the words, he caught her brief flinch when he’d spoken. He’d hurt her. Worse yet, based on the flash of disappointment in her eyes, he didn’t think his reaction surprised her—and the sting of that didn’t settle well.

****

It took the three of them to carry all of Lucas’s gifts and belongings into the orphanage. Edward had been surprised at the way Lucas readily shared his toys with his friends. Clearly the boy was well liked among the staff and the other orphans.

Kate brought a huge cookie tray and was in the kitchen with some of the staff making hot chocolate. Lucas dragged Edward into the game room, where he’d set up his new chess board.

“All right, sport. One last game, but afterwards, Kate and I are going to have to leave,” Edward said.

Lucas opened the wooden box and started to set up the board.

“I don’t want you to leave. Why can’t I come with you?” he asked.