Until Now (29 page)

Ryan stepped to the side, his back against the open door. “Well, she’s probably waiting for you,” he told his son.

Mason let go of my legs and grabbed my hand instead. “I want Robin to help, too.”

I glanced at Ryan for approval as Mason tugged me inside. Realizing we’d both just been steamrolled by a three-year-old, he shrugged and shut the door behind us. Mason led me into the kitchen, where Jane was pulling a giant bowl out of the fridge. Ryan had disappeared, probably into the dining room with the rest of the family. Their loud, happy voices filtered into the kitchen.

“Hi there, honey,” Jane said, pushing the bowl into my hands. Potato salad, I noted. Must be another barbecue night. “You’re just in time. Can you carry that in?” She smiled at me before turning to Mason. “Here, angelface, you can bring in the rolls and napkins.”

Mason gripped his items carefully and led us into the dining room, where everyone was already seated and waiting. I was greeted in a flurry of warm hellos, followed by complaints about how long it had been since I’d last showed up for Sunday dinner. Relaxing somewhat, I took my seat between Ryan and Nicole. She met my eyes and blinked slowly as if to say,
Sorry, I tried to keep my mouth shut, but what’s a girl to do?
I elbowed her playfully and laughed, forgiving her. It was hard to get annoyed at someone who I’d be living with in less than a week’s time.

I’d assumed it would take me forever to talk Nicole into letting me move in with her, but to my surprise, she’d buckled easily. Her apartment was a two-bedroom so there was plenty of room, and she’d actually been considering getting a roommate for a while now. Winter—her slowest and leanest time of year—would be here before we knew it, and the offer of splitting rent, food, and utilities was too attractive to pass up.

“We’ll have to sleep in separate rooms,” she’d warned me as we sat in her kitchen and worked out all the logistics. “Mariah gets jealous, you know. And you are
not
allowed to have sex with my brother anywhere in this apartment.”

I’d laughed and promised to behave myself.

Nicole and I broke the news of our impending cohabitation over dinner, and the family’s reaction was even better than I’d hoped. Everyone seemed thrilled with the new arrangement, jokingly welcoming me into the family, officially. Well, almost everyone. Ryan didn’t say anything at all. The awkward vibe between us brought me right back to my first dinner here, when his mother had forced him into the chair next to me. But we’d been strangers then, wary and indifferent toward each other. This time, however, no one had forced him to sit beside me. And when our knees grazed under the table, neither one of us pulled away.

After dinner, I helped clean up and then excused myself to use the bathroom. When I came back out, the house was quiet and empty. The entire family had relocated to the backyard, where—from what I could see through the windows—an epic baseball game was in the works. I was just about to head out there and join them when I spotted Ryan across the hallway in the living room, sitting on the couch and waiting for me. Or at least I thought he was waiting for me. He stood up as I entered the room.

“Are you hiding?” I asked, stopping a few feet away from him.

He shrugged one shoulder. “Not really. It’s just this is the only room in the house that’s usually empty.”

I nodded. It was a quiet room. Private. I knew this like I knew everything else about this house—the squeak in the floor just outside the dining room, the cupboard where they kept the glasses, the warmth of Ryan’s hand on my thigh as we ate dinner with his family. I knew it all like I knew the rhythm of my own pulse.

“So you’re moving in with Nic,” he said. He gave me his almost-smile, which made me smile back in return. It had been a while since I’d seen it.

“Yeah,” I said.

“You’re brave.”

Was I? Well, it was time to see just how deep that bravery ran.

I moved closer to him.

“You told me to let you know,” I said, “when I figured out what I wanted.”

He looked at me, his expression still guarded. “I remember.”

“Well, that’s why I came here today…to let you know that I finally figured out what I want.”

“And what’s that?”

I took another step closer, and then another, until our bodies were just inches apart. He didn’t back away, and the leftover wariness in his eyes softened into something else. Something tender and trusting and hopeful.

“This,” I said, letting that one word encompass everything—these rooms, this life, this family, us, and everything that came with each of them. “I want this.”

He closed the gap between us and slowly reached up to press his palm to my cheek. His thumb brushed across my lips, light as air, and then he leaned in to kiss me. I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him back, breathing in the scent of books and soap and comfort. And for the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to be home.

I wrote this book over the busy summer of 2014, and I couldn’t have made it to this point without the help and support of several people. Thank you to:

Shannon Steele, for everything. I truly don’t know what my books would look like without you. Thank you for your unflinching honesty and for reigning me in when I need it the most. Also, thank you for not going all Annie Wilkes on me and locking me in your spare room until I finished this thing.

My brand new critique partner, Tanja Sullivan, for her keen eye and thoughtful, spot-on suggestions. Thank you so much for your help and encouragement. And Jill Hewitt, for reading and loving all three books.

My kids, for putting up with my grouchiness as I spent hours/days/weeks/months typing away in the bedroom.

My husband, for giving me the time and space to do what I love and supporting me all the way.

And lastly, the readers, for buying, reviewing, recommending, and being all-around awesome. You guys are the reason I do this. Thank you.

Rebecca Phillips lives in Nova Scotia, Canada with her husband, two children, and one spoiled rotten cat.
Until Now
is the third book in the
Just You
series. She’s also the author of
Out of Nowhere
, a stand-alone novel and an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest finalist.

Find out more on Rebecca’s website:
www.rebeccawritesya.com

Other books by Rebecca:

Just You (Just You #1)

Someone Else (Just You #2)

Out of Nowhere

Faking Perfect (coming Summer 2015 from Kensington)