Unwilling (12 page)

"Can we cuddle in front of TV?"

"Yes."

* * *

The session had taken the edge off me quite a bit. We finished out the work week with both of us a little reserved, but everything seemed okay by Friday. "Did you have plans for us?" she asked me that morning on the way to work.

"No."

"There's a movie that has been out for a while. Could we go while it's still in the theaters?"

We held hands during the movie. I was a little surprised she was willing to act like a girlfriend in public, but it was dark, so no one could really see us.

She didn't asked to see any more of my toys.

* * *

We were into the final week of her agreement.
By Wednesday I was getting depressed. I really liked having her around. She was just as hot, and I hadn't stopped wanting her. I loved having a servant. I loved having her kneel to me. She obeyed every order I gave her. I spent Wednesday evening pushing her boundaries a little, but she just said, "Yes, Alexandra," to everything I told her to do. I thought about making her do some of the really icky jobs around the house but decided not to take it that far.

But I liked her. We had nice talks. She was bright and a good conversationalist. We'd had a few passionate discussions, but not once had we gotten mad at each other. In a pure intellectual conversation, she didn't back down from me, but she listened to what I had to say and either offered a counter-argument or came to agree with me.

I hoped we would at least stay friends.

I worked her hard over the weekend, making her alternate between wait on me and do projects around the house. She actually seemed happy to do everything and made a point of kneeling in front of me between each task. She smiled.

And then Tuesday came. Her last night with me. We got home from work. She hung our coats up and dropped to her knees in front of me. I stepped close and she wrapped her arms around me, holding me. She hadn't done that before.

I caressed her hair.

"What are you going to make me do tonight, Alexandra?"

"I don't know."

"It's our last night."

"I know." I paused. "Go dress for me then let's make dinner together."

"Yes, Alexandra." I helped her to her feet and swatted her bottom playfully when she stepped away from me. She looked over her shoulder and grinned.

We each disappeared into bedrooms. I changed clothes and primped. I heard her leave her bedroom and head to the kitchen. I was a few minutes behind her.

When I got there, I saw that we had both picked little black dresses. Neither of us wore shoes, but we'd both put on nylons and done hair and touched up our makeup.

"You look nice," I told her.

"So do you." She paused. "I have something special for dinner. Well, not that special. But not too bad."

Melissa cooked. I helped as I could, but she had things well in hand.

I was really going to miss her. I told her that. She glanced over at me and smiled. "Who wouldn't miss me?" she said, grinning. Then she sobered. "Who wouldn't miss having her own personal servant and love slave?"

"Melissa," I told her. "I'm going to miss that, too. But I'm going to miss you."

She didn't respond to that.

Dinner was lovely. We had candles and a bottle of wine. We finished the meal and sat staring at each other.

"Have you decided what you're going to make me do tonight?"

"No."

"Make love to me."

"Funny."

I looked at her expression. She was smiling but not laughing. "You're serious."

"You could start by ordering me to kneel, then kissing me."

"Are you insane?"

Her face fell.

"You bitch!" she screamed. "God, I'm a fucking idiot! You're just like the girl in high school! You bitch!"

She shoved herself away from the table, ran to the front closet, and had her shoes and coat on before I could explain. She grabbed her purse, and then she was gone. I sat there staring at the door hanging open.

I didn't get a chance to tell her she had it all wrong.

I was sobbing by the time I got two blocks away. That bitch! I put myself out there like that, and she told me I was insane. She had spent a month telling me how hot she thought I was, but when the chips were done, she was just like Becca in high school That bitch!

My phone was in my purse. It rang. I pulled it out of the purse and glanced at it. It was the bitch. I threw the phone back in the purse and ignored it.

I had to pull over I was crying so hard. I sat in my car, banging my head against the steering wheel.

I was so stupid. The last month, all of it, had been a sham. All her words about wanting a strong, intelligent women, it was all shit. I'd done everything she asked, hoping she would want to keep me, and when I finally offered myself to her, she'd thrust me away.

Oh god.

So fucking stupid!

I'd spent two weeks throwing myself at her, trying to get her to treat me like the love slave she'd forced me to be. Other than the night she tied me up, she hadn't done any of the things I wanted. So finally I summon the nerve to tell her what I want, and she treats me like garbage.

Bitch!

I finally got home. My phone kept ringing. I ignored it. When I got home, I turned it off.

I changed into grubby clothes, found some ice cream in the freezer, and curled up in a blanket in front of a movie with a huge bowl of fattening ice cream.

I watched movie after movie, finally falling asleep sometime in the middle of the night.

* * *

I woke up sometime in the morning. I stumbled around, found my phone, and turned it on. Alex had left seventeen messages for me. I deleted every one without listening to them. I called in sick to work and went back to bed.

I didn't emerge from bed again until late afternoon. I took a shower then curled up with another huge bowl of ice cream and watched more movies until late.

My phone began ringing at six. I turned it off.

I got up the next morning at a more proper time, showered, found something to wear, and went to work.

At ten thirty, I felt someone standing at the entrance to my cube. I turned around and Alex was standing there. She looked like shit.

"Fuck off," I told her quietly and turned back to my computer.

"You don't understand," she said.

"Fuck off."

She didn't leave. Instead she took a few steps into my cube, stepped to where I could see her in my peripheral vision, and lowered herself to her knees, the same way she'd made me kneel for a month. I rotated to face her.

"Get out of my cube. I have work to do."

"I owe you an explanation, Melissa."

"Not interested."

"You're my dream woman."

I stared at her. "Yeah, right. That's why you treated me like shit when I finally worked up the courage to tell you what I wanted."

"I couldn't," she said. "I can't be a little tourist stop for you. I can't be your one night trying out the lesbian lifestyle, then going back to your straight life. It was just a night for you, but it would have broken my heart when you left in the morning."

I didn't say anything else.

"Please," she said. "
I'm half in love with a straight girl. That's half too much. I can't do more.
We need to talk about this."

I stared her down. She looked away first. I considered it a victory. "You're an idiot. Get out of my cube. I'll think about it. For now, leave me alone."

She got up slowly and left.

* * *

I avoided Alex for a week. She texted me over the weekend and suggested I come over to pick up my things. I ignored her. She tried calling twice over the following few days and stopped by my desk twice the following week. I sent her away.

Finally the following Friday I stopped by her desk. "May I pick up my things tonight?"

"Melissa."

"Yes or no. Will you be home?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." I turned around and left.

I left work early and drove straight to her house, using the key she had given me to get in. I snooped through her toys and her closet, pulling several things out. Then I set the stage.

I was tired and worn out when I got home. I missed Melissa. I couldn't believe I let myself fall for a straight girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I missed her.

I parked and walked in the house, stopping dead when I got in the entrance. In front of the door, far enough away I would
n't knock it over when I entered
, was one of my end tables. There was a
large, red
candle
lit
on it.
The candle wasn't one of mine.
Under the candle was a
hand-written
note.

"What the fuck?"

I grabbed the note.

"I lied."

That's all it said.

"Melissa?" I called.

I didn't hear any response. I threw my coat over the
sofa and looked around. None of the lights were on, but my other end table was in the hallway leading to the bedrooms with a another
red candle burning on
it.
There was another note with the candle.

"Melissa?"

I walked over and slid the note out. "The first kiss I enjoyed was with that girl. You know how that turned out."

There was another candle on the floor to my bedroom with another note. I picked up the candle and re
a
d the note. "The next kiss I enjoyed was the one you gave me."

"Melissa? What the fuck?"

I stepped into the bedroom. There were candles everywhere. Melissa was tied up spread eagled on the bed wearing the head harness and gag. She was looking at me.

"What the fuck? I told you I can't do this." She looked by her side. There was another note.

"Damn it, Melissa, this isn't funny." I walked over and began untying her. She started complaining immediately and her eyes kept glancing at the note. "Fine. I'll read the note first."

"Alexandra. I'm not straight. Don't you get it? I'm strong, intelligent, and attractive, and I love when you dominate me. Don't you want me? I'm right here. Your slave. Melissa."

I stared at her then read the notes again. She was watching me. I looked at the restraints she used. I stared at her.

"Are you messing with me?"

She shook her head.

I looked around the room. There were lit candles on every surface. No other notes. I looked back at Melissa lying on the bed, staring up at me.

"You are so hot," I told her. "The things I want to do to you." She squirmed a little. "Do you like that idea?"

She nodded.

I crawled up on the bed next to her, lying down facing her, my head resting in my palm. With my other hand I began caressing her.

"Do you want me to untie you?"

She shook her head.

"Remove the gag?"

She shook her head.

"Tease you mercilessly?"

She nodded.

I smiled and slid one finger down her skin, running across her tummy, then flattened my hand and slid my palm against her skin until my fingers were laced in the fur between her legs. "Is this what you want?"

She nodded.

"Or maybe this." I let my hand rest on her vulva."

She nodded.

I began to tap my fingers against the outside of her vulva, just tapping slowly. She began to squirm. I let my fingers part her and began tapping against her clitoris. She jumped.

"Is this what you want?" She nodded. "I suppose you want me to make love to you?" Nod and a gasp into her gag as I gently pinched her clitoris. I continued to tease her with my hand. "There's just one problem, sweetie."

"Mmmm?"

"You've been naughty."

She shook her head.

"Oh yes, you were very naughty. You called me names."

"Mmmm."

"And you snooped through my things."

"Mmmmm!"

I slipped two fingers inside of her and she squirmed.

"You played with my toys without permission."

I slid my fingers in and out of her. Watching her squirm was getting me more worked up.

"You need to be punished for that. Giving you an orgasm would be rewarding you." I pulled my fingers out of her.

She turned to look at me, her brow furrowed. "Mmmm."

"Honey," I said. "I need to know you're here for me, not for the kinky sex." She turned away. "Honey, are you here for me?"

She turned back and nodded.