Unwilling (9 page)

"Yes, Alexandra."

I got ready for bed then assumed my position on the floor. She kept me there for about five minutes before I heard her turning off the lights and joining me. She walked around me, caressing me while she did so.

"Restraint or sensation?"

"I don't know," I said. "The restraints just seem like more of the same."

She looked at me. "That's probably true. It's how I use them that changes dramatically. I can use rope and it looks like art, for instance."

"Show me that?"

"How about tomorrow," she said. "When we have more time."

"All right. Sensation then."

"I'll give you a choice. If you let me secure you to the bed again, I'll show you one you'll let me use. Or else we can skip the restraints; I can go to the extreme and show you something I wouldn't use even if you asked."

I looked into her face. "Which do you want?"

"To play of course, but you're probably more curious about what I might have I'm not willing to even use."

I smiled. "Same position on the bed?"

She returned my smile. "No. Lie down on your back. Get comfortable."

I climbed onto the bed, arranged some pillows, then tried to relax. She opened her dresser and came back with the same restraints she had used last night. She wrapped one around my right wrist and secured it to the bed somewhere I couldn't see. Then she did the left wrist. After that she pulled each of them taut, and I found my arms spread straight out from my shoulders with very little movement.

"Oh my," I said.

She smiled at me. "I'm not done," she told me. She went to the dresser and came back with two more cuffs. "Same cuffs, for your ankles."

I pulled my legs away. "You promise to stop if I ask you to?"

"Yes."

I slowly gave her a leg. She wrapped both ankles in cuffs, secured the tethers to the bed, then shorted the tethers, pulling my legs apart. When she was done, I was pulled tight to the bed and couldn't really move either my arms or legs.

She sat down on the bed next to me and caressed my face.

"Melissa, you are playing with fire."

I smiled at her. "I trust you."

She patted my cheek and stood up, walked to the dresser, and pulled something small out of it. She hid it behind her back as she walked back to me and sat down again.

"You're going to say No at first," she said. "It looks scary but it feels amazing."

"Then I suspect you'll talk me into it."

She pulled her hand out from behind her back. She was holding something that looked like some sort of surgical instrument. It was all shiny metal with a handle and some sort of wheel with spikes on it.

"This is a Wartenberg pinwheel," she said. She reached over and ran it across my palm. The little spikes poked me lightly.

"You're right," I said. "It looks like it hurts."

"It does if used too firmly. You can draw blood easily. I've only done that once, and it was because she jerked around on me. I've gotten more careful."

"It feels good?" I was dubious.

"It depends upon how I use it," she said. "I can use it to tickle you terribly. I can just wake up your nerves with it. Or I can use it so it's deliciously painful. You wouldn't be ready for that."

She slid on her butt to the foot of the bed near my feet.

"Oh god," I said, starting to struggle.

"You have five seconds to tell me 'no'. After that, I won't stop until I'm ready to stop."

"Oh god, Alexandra."

"Four."

I struggled to get away from her.

"Three."

I stared at the wheel in her hand while continuing to struggle against the restraints.

"Two."

I wasn't able to free myself, which I hadn't expected.

"One."

"Oh god."

Slowly she lowered the wheel to the bottom of the foot. I immediately tried to pull away. She grabbed my foot with her free hand and began running the wheel up and down my foot.

I expected it to hurt. It didn't. But it tickled badly.

"Oh god! Oh god! Stop!"

"No." She continued to tickle my foot.

I began thrashing around, begging her to stop while trying to pull away from what she was doing to my foot. She was grinning at me.

Eventually she stopped tickling. I slumped against the bed.

"That was exactly one minute," she said once my breathing was calmed down. "Imagine twenty minutes per foot."

"Oh god," I said. "I'd be promising you the world after five."

She smiled.

"Release me now," I told her.

"If you ask again, I will," she said. "But I hope you will let me show you how good this can feel, first. I promise not to tickle."

I looked at her then nodded.

She lowered the wheel to the top of my foot then drew it carefully across the top of my foot to the outside of my leg. It felt weird. I began to squirm. She worked her way up my leg in a series of long, light strokes, barely touching me. She used the wheel to caress my sides and arms, always gently, and I soon couldn't stop squirming.

"Oh god," I said.

"I know," she told me. "Starting to understand?"

"Yes. Please don't stop."

She chuckled but continued to caress me with the wheel. She stayed away from my breasts and the insides of my legs, and she was very
,
very careful around my face, but she used it everywhere.

"Imagine a backrub involving this."

She kept it up for a while, and I continued to squirm. Then she slowed down and finally stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at her. "It's starting to become too intense for you. You'll stop enjoying it soon."

I squirmed a little more. What she had done was very intense. I felt like a
ll my nerve endings were alive. The way I was tied left me feeling very helpless and vulnerable. She could do anything she wanted to me, and I couldn't stop her. I looked up at her. She was standing over me, looking at me spread on the bed, helpless. I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

I couldn't tell her what I was thinking. I didn't want her to stop.

"What else would you do?" I asked her instead.

"You know darned well what I'd do," she replied. "Straight girl."

I closed my eyes, imagining her hands touching me. Then I felt her settle on the bed and felt her hands on my foot. "Yes!" I thought before I realized she was releasing me.

She released both my ankles then my wrists, taking only a few seconds for each. I was so disappointed!

But I couldn't tell her. She would laugh. I couldn't stand it.

I rolled over on my side facing away from her and curled up a little. She sat on the bed behind me. "Are you all right, Melissa?"

"Yes," I said.

I lied like that. Then I felt her hand on my hip. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Will you hold me?"

"Of course." I felt her lie down behind me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "I'm just feeling vulnerable. I liked what you did."

I felt her smile against my shoulder. "It was pretty intense."

"Yes."

She started to pull away.

"Please don't go," I asked her.

"I'll be back," she promised. "Then I'll hold you and we can talk."

She left me for a few minutes. I heard her use the bathroom then move around the house, turning lights off. She came back to the bedroom and stripped out of her clothes, hanging them up. I still had the bathrobe bunched around my shoulders, so she pulled me up to a sitting position and slid it off me, then peeled the bed covers back and slipped me into the bed.

She was very kind and gentle.

She turned the rest of the lights off and slipped into bed behind me, wrapping me in her arms again.

"Are you okay?"

"Sort of," I said. I wriggled closer to her and kissed one of her hands. "I would never let a guy do any of this to me," I told her.

She giggled. "I told you, I wouldn't either."

"I'm serious," I said. "But with you it's different."

She kissed my shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot to me."

It was a lot more than trust. Why couldn't she read between the lines? We lied like that for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. She shifted away slightly, pulling her top arm away, and began caressing my arm, back, and side, all the way down to my hip. When she ran her finger down my back she stopped just short of my bottom. I didn't want her to stop.

"How many love slaves have you had in the past?"

She giggled. "For more than a week? None. You're the first."

"Really?"

"For a weekend or so, six or seven. And some of them
were repeated a few times."

"How many people have you tied up?"

She paused before answering. "I'm not entirely sure."

"A lot?"

"Nooo," she said slowly. "Not a lot. Maybe ten, less than fifteen."

"And how many women have you been with you haven't tied up?"

She laughed. "About the same number."

"Ever been tied up yourself?"

"A few times." She paused. "I asked because I thought it was important to know what it feels like. Afterwards I changed what I did. Some of the stuff I was doing didn't feel as good as I thought it would."

She was still caressing my skin. Her touch felt really nice. It was calming. I wondered if that's why she was doing it.

"You could have hurt me just now."

"Yes."

"But you didn't."

"Of course not."

"Don't you want to?"

"Why would I want to hurt you?"

"Paybacks."

She stopped caressing me but left her hand on my side. "You have apologized repeatedly. I've forgiven you. I don't want to hurt you."

We were quiet. She was still touching me, but not caressing. "Thank you," I told her. "For forgiving me."

She began to caress me again. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it for a moment. "When this is over and you have kicked me to the curb, will you still be my friend?"

She bit my shoulder.

"Hey!"

"That's too important a question to make a joke out of it," she said.

"You're right," I said. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to ask."

"When your month is over and you are no longer obligated to be my love slave, I would love to count you as a friend," she said.

"This hasn't gone at all like you had planned, has it?"

She kissed my shoulder where she had bitten it. "I didn't really plan any of it. I really, really didn't think you would agree. And then I didn't think you would follow through."

"I am glad I did."

"So am I," she said. "But say that again after you've broken one of the rules and I've had to punish you."

"You would punish me?"

"Absolutely. Would you let me?"

I thought about it. "If I thought I deserved it, then yes. If I didn't think I deserved it, then I don't know."

"Then you're not really my love slave."

She stopped caressing again and pulled her hand away, but she didn't withdraw further. We lied like that for a few minutes while I thought about it.

"Yes, I would," I said eventually. "Even if I thought you were being unfair."

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, then went back to the caresses. I wondered if she knew what she was doing.

"When you agreed, I couldn't believe it," she said. "So I made sure that at least Vivien would know I'd spent the weekend on it. I didn't think anything else would change. After that, we were both so focused on getting the work done that I couldn't think about anything else. I suppose in the back of my mind I thought about you kneeling to me, but it just felt like a fantasy, not like a plan."

"So you never planned?"

"Well, maybe a little," she said with a small chuckle.

"Tell me."

She didn't say anything right away. "I'll scare you," she said finally. "I thought about hurting you."

"But you didn't. Tell me."

"You're going to think this is what I fantasize about."

"I deserved for this to have gone a lot worse than it has. Were you going to torture me?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I wanted to punish you so badly. I wanted to hurt you and humiliate you." She was quiet. "Two of the women I've tied up in the past wanted me to do a lot more to them than I was willing to do. One of them asked me to water board her."

"Seriously?"

"And she didn't want a safe word."