Up In Smoke (30 page)

“Gabriel, I think we need to have a little talk,” I said, preparatory to explaining my reluctance to engage in any lovemaking.

“Certainly, if you like. But my mother reminded me I was remiss in giving you a gift.”

“What sort of a gift?” I asked, curious despite my better intentions. I peered over his shoulder as he shuffled through a couple of black leather boxes inside the safe. He pulled one out.

“Ah, there it is. It is tradition in my mother's family for the men to give their brides a necklet. This one was my great-great-grandmother's. I think you'll like it. It's gold.”

He opened the case, and instantly the smell of the gold hit me. It was a hundred times more potent than the gold dust he'd used earlier, leaving me feeling as if I had been zapped with electricity, every hair on my head standing on end as the rich, sensual, intoxicating scent of gold permeated my pores. I ripped my clothing off, actually ripped it off, flinging myself on Gabriel as I snatched up the thin square plates that had been strung together in a tight choker of gold, rubbing it between us as my body turned into one gigantic erogenous zone.

“Gold,” I said, making a little purr of pleasure as the metal touched my bared flesh.

Gabriel's smile was slow and knowing. “I thought you might like it, since you enjoyed the dust. Kind of makes you tingle, doesn't it?”

I licked him. “I want to rub it on you.”

Instantly, he was naked, his eyes burning with a fire almost as bright as the one that he had started in me. “I'd rather you rub yourself on me. Well, perhaps both you and the gold.”

“Mmm.” I arched my back, trailing a red claw down his chest, the other hand dragging the gold necklet across his collarbone. I kissed the path the gold had followed, tasting both Gabriel and the arousing bite of gold. I wanted him, all of him, right then, and there was nothing or no one who could stop me. He was my mate, we had gold, and there was only one way things were going to end.

“Take me,” I demanded, flinging myself on him and wrapping my legs around his hips. The impact of me slamming into him so unexpectedly resulted in him taking a couple of steps backwards until he bumped up against a table. He sat down on it suddenly, impaling me as he did so.

I squealed with absolute pleasure at the invasion, squirming against him, the sleek silver scales on his chest sliding against my own in a sensation so erotic, my mind was completely consumed with thoughts of nothing but joining body and soul with him, our dragon essences bound together until there was no discerning a difference.

The last little fragment of my true self gave a hopeless cry of defeat, checking the dragon shard for a moment.

“Mayling, don't stop now,” Gabriel murmured, his mouth busy with my breast as I rode him, my hips moving in a rhythm that seemed to sing with the beauty of our act.

But it wasn't beautiful, not when it wasn't really me who was there with him. With a cry of pain that went soul deep, I tore myself off of him, backing away with my arms wrapped around myself.

“May?” Gabriel's face was a study in confusion. “What's wrong?”

I sank to my knees, rocking with pain and regret and confusion, not sure of what I wanted anymore, not sure even of whether my thoughts were my own.

“Please, little bird. Tell me what I've done.” Gabriel's hands were warm on my knees as I rocked silently, wishing things had happened differently.

“May. Please.”

I couldn't ignore the pain in his voice. He thought it was something he'd done, and I couldn't let him continue to think that.

“Put the necklace away,” I said, the scent of it driving me almost insane with desire.

He said nothing but returned it to the box, locking it away in the safe.

“It's the dragon shard,” I said, looking up at him as he returned to me. My heart was so filled with regret, I thought it might break.

A little frown appeared between his brows. “You're still worried about that? I've told you that you will learn the ways—”

“I don't want to,” I interrupted with a wail, taking his hands and tugging him down to me. “Don't you see? I don't want to be a dragon, Gabriel! I never did! But the shard is too strong for me. It's taking over, and every time we make love, it gains a little more ground. It's not going to take much more and it'll have taken over
all
of me!”

“It's taking you over?” He touched one of my scarlet claws. “You mean physically? That will end when the shard is placed in another phylactery.”

“No, not just physically. It's taking over my emotions, too! Haven't you noticed? I can't believe you haven't noticed. Dear gods, man, I'm almost yelling, and as you pointed out, I never yell! Cyrene yells, but I don't.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “You have been a little . . . er . . . passionate the last few days.”

“I was passionate about you before the phylactery exploded. But the shard is doing more than just making me want you—it's changing my emotions, changing me, and Gabriel, what if I don't change back when the shard is gone? What if we can't get rid of it?”

He opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. “I wish I could assure you that your fears are unfounded, but I don't know the answer to your questions.”

“You see?” I said, all but sobbing. “I can't make love to you, Gabriel. I want to, but not at the cost of losing the last little bit of me. I don't want to be a dragon. I may not be perfect, or even remotely close to that, but I was happy being me. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.”

He laughed, and for a moment I wanted to punch him. But then a tiny shred of common sense rose up to point out the unlikelihood of him mocking my concerns. “Mayling, making love to you will remain at the top of my daily list of things to do, but as I assured you once before, I am not a beast. If you require a little space to put things into perspective, then I will gladly give it to you.” He glanced down at his erection. “It will not be easy, but if you wish to remain chaste for a bit, I will not force myself upon you.”

“I didn't mean I was sorry that I couldn't make love to you,” I said, forlorn knowledge making me want to burst into tears. I swallowed back a painful lump. “I meant I'm sorry that I can't be the dragon you obviously want.”

“Now you are acting all too human, fishing for compliments,” he said with a playful grin that faded when I didn't respond. “You're serious, aren't you?”

I nodded, too miserable to speak, my eyes on the carpet beneath my knees.

“May, look at me.”

It took a bit of doing, but I managed to drag my gaze up to his.

“Before, when you started the mating dance, it was exciting to me,” he said, and my heart turned into a leaden ball. “I would like to say I could have not responded, but that would be impossible. I am a dragon. You are my mate. You initiated a mating dance, and that delighted me. But that delight was nothing compared to what you mean to me. You are my mate, May, the being that is you, no matter what your form.”

Unfamiliar tears pricked my eyes. I hated the dragon shard for making me feel so overwhelmed with gratitude, so vulnerable. “You wouldn't want me to be a dragon like you?”

“Not if you don't want it, no,” he said, taking both my hands in his, kissing each finger. “You are happy as you are—were—and I have no complaints whatsoever about that state of affairs. So you can stop feeling guilty and unhappy, and instead tell me what your limit is.”

“My limit?” I said, blinking away the last of the tears, my heart once again hopeful. Perhaps it was a sign I was all too human in that I sought reassurance that he treasured me for what I was, but if so, I embraced that humanity. “What sort of a limit do you mean?”

“How far can you go without the dragon shard taking control of you?” he asked, his thumbs rubbing across my fingers.

A little fire started at my knees.

“Ah,” he said, looking at it.

I couldn't help but smile. “Just looking at you makes the shard kick into high gear, but I can keep it under control for the most part. It's just when we . . . er . . . that it takes over. And bringing gold into the equation is definitely out.”

“Can I kiss you?” he said, bending forward to press a kiss of infinite sweetness onto my lips.

“Yes,” I said, lifting my head in hopes he'd do it again.

“Can I touch you here?” He put his hand on my upper arm.

I nodded.

A little glint of wicked intent started to burn in his eyes. “What about here?”

His hand cupped my left breast. I sucked in my breath, arching my back. “Oh, yes.”

“And how about this?”

His mouth closed over my aching nipple, his tongue a brand as it swept across my breast, causing my breath to catch in my mouth. My hands went to his hair, tugging on the soft dreadlocks as he kissed his way over to the other breast.

“That's . . . that's . . . that's really, really OK,” I said, my eyes closed as I clutched him while he tormented my breast.

“Just OK? You wound my ego, little bird. What about the rest of your torso? Are you still firmly in control if I explore the sublime beauty that is your belly?”

Fire licked my flesh when he laid me back on the floor, his hair trailing down my sensitive breasts as he kissed a path to my belly button.

“The dragon shard wants me to roll you over and jump on you,” I moaned as he nipped my hip.

“It shall have to want in vain. You are in control, not it, May.”

“I know, but it's so strong, Gabriel. The need in me is so strong. It wants you.”

“It only reflects your desires, which does much to assuage my male pride,” he said with a deep chuckle that seemed to reverberate through me. His hands slid along my thighs, gently parting them. “Will it let me touch you here, do you think?” he asked.

His breath was hot on highly sensitive flesh.

“The shard can take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned,” I said, my body tight with anticipation as I struggled to control the rising demands that built up inside me. I wanted to tease and run and play and do all sorts of things to Gabriel that seemed both foreign and yet so right. My fingers dug into the thick pile of the carpet as Gabriel's mouth touched me, the heat of his tongue almost causing me to lose the control I just barely held.

“Too much?” he asked, looking up at me.

“Almost,” I said, my voice thick and unfamiliar.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I closed my eyes for a minute, concentrating fully on reining in the demands of the dragon shard. “No. I think I'm OK.”

“You're more than OK, but that conversation is for another time. First we have this to explore.”

Stars seemed to explode behind my eyes as he slid a finger into me just as his tongue made a swirling motion. The orgasm rippled through me, my fingers elongating as the red claws dug deep into the carpet.

“Keep ahold of the emotions the shard generates,” Gabriel said, moving over me as he kissed his way upward. “Use it, but don't let it take over.”

I struggled to do just that, the claws fading back into fingernails.

“Can you take more?” he asked, and I saw in his face just how much control he was wielding over his own needs.

“Let's try,” I said, twining my legs around his as I dug my fingers into the thick muscles of his butt, pulling him where I wanted him.

“I'll stop if it's too much for you,” he said, biting my neck with a groan when he sank into my body. “It may kill me, but I'll stop.”

I held him tight to me as our bodies moved, praying I could do this without succumbing. The dragon shard wanted me to do more, to make Gabriel move faster, to satisfy urges that were too numerous to count.

It wasn't until his movements became more agitated that the thin control began to unravel. As the orgasm built up inside me, I flexed my inner muscles, urging Gabriel to finish before I lost it completely.

“Mayling, I'm trying to go slow for you, but if you do that, it will all be over,” he said, panting as his chest rubbed against mine, his hips making long, slow movements that both thrilled and tormented me.

“Now!” I said, feeling the dragon shard take over as another climax crested. “For the love of the twelve gods, Gabriel, finish now!”

He shifted, his cry of my name echoing in my ear as his body elongated and changed, and within me, the dragon shard rejoiced and started forcing me to change with him.

“No!” I sobbed, clutching him as I fought back the need to answer his unspoken call.

Immediately he was back, his mouth hot as he kissed me, his body still trembling with little after-shocks of pleasure. “Do not fear, little bird. You did it, you embraced the strong emotions, and you did not change.”

I clung to him as he rolled over, pulling me with him, mindless with pleasure on one level, but knowing just how close a thing it had been.

Chapter Twenty-two

Three hours later, we arrived at Drake's Paris house. “So, what exactly are you going to tell Drake and Aisling about Fiat?”

“What they need to know to help us with Chuan Ren.”

I waited until we entered the spacious entrance hall, divesting myself of my coat before stopping Gabriel. “Are you sure this is a good idea, involving them in the whole thing? Drake isn't going to let Aisling do anything that will endanger her or the baby, and I just don't know that anyone else has the ability to help us. Maybe if I was to force Magoth to help us, threaten him somehow—”

He stopped me with a kiss so hot, it made me want to jump him right there, in front of everyone. “My fierce little bird. Just when I am convinced that you could not get along without me, your claws come out and I live in fear you'll fly away from me.”