Upside Down (25 page)

“Cindy, I can’t believe it. God, you’re amazing.
Please, don’t stop,” I moved my head from side to side, frantically.

Her climax seemed to go on forever. But as the vibrations inside her waned my own body exploded into a million little pieces and I felt like falling from the sky
into her expecting arms. I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. She leaned down to kiss me, stretching her body over mine, weighing me down on the mattress, and knocking, what little air I had, out of me. Her mouth found mine eagerly waiting. She swirled her tongue around mine, then, bit and pulled my lower lip until I saw stars.

I crossed my arms behind her back and rocked my hips slowly up and down, riding the last few waves of
pleasure as they rolled us both to the shores of a very sensual imaginary beach. I felt the heat of her body all over mine like a tropical sun drenching my skin. That was much better than any of those dreams I had had over the past weeks. I caressed her soft back slowly, up and down the valleys and mountains, ceaselessly. She felt so different from Mark. I loved his hard muscles and flat surfaces while I was getting hooked on Cindy’s soft mounds and satiny skin.

I licked her ear before whispering, “I think I’m falling for you, Cindy.”

My heart sank inside my chest when she didn’t say anything. She didn’t move, either. After what seemed an eternity, she raised her head and looked seriously into my eyes.

“Carol, I like you, I love being with you. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I had such earth-shaking multiple orgasms,” she pecked my lips and mouthed ‘thank you’. “But I can’t say what you want to hear right now. It’s too soon for me to
know if I’m in love with you. I never say it lightly.”

Although the pang in my chest made it very hard to speak, I found my voice.

“Thank you for your honesty. That’s all I can ask of you, really.”

“Don’t get me wrong, though. If you ask me if I want a relationship with you, my answer is a resounding ‘YES’. Carol, that’s all I’ve asked – a chance to have you around, a chance to show how good with can be together. But, I’ve said it before, love takes time to
grow and care to thrive. I’m asking you to give us that - time.”

She rolled off of me and settled herself on one side, facing me. I mirrored her and laughed.

“I’m still amazed by what just happened. Is it always like this?”

“I wish,” she rolled her eyes up. “We definitely have a special connection. I’ve felt it from the start. Who knows where it will take us, right?”

She caressed my breasts and I cupped her cheek. We spent a long time staring at each other and slowly exploring each other’s bodies, stoking the embers that hadn’t quite died away. In no time, our skins were on fire again.

“I think I need to recuperate before the next round,” I suggested because my pulse quickened when she found a particularly sensitive spot in my throat and explored it with her mouth and teeth.

“Why? Aren’t you curious about where our special connection can take us?”

She rolled me on top of her and I sighed.
I raised myself above her, on my hands and knees, but kept our bodies pressed against each other. I gently rubbed my body up and down hers, our nipples stood up fast with the friction.

“I’ve always been a very curious person
,” I finally answered.

“Are you also a naughty girl?”
she asked as her hand snaked between our bodies and found my still wet curls.

“I’m afraid to answer that, Cindy,” I laughed and cried out when she moved down
and clasped her hot mouth over my nipple as her wicked fingers pinched my clitoris.

“You don’t need to say anything, gorgeous. I know what you want.”

I stopped trying to rationalize and surrendered myself once more to Cindy’s expert hands, and mouth, and body. This time, she took her time with me. She explored my most secret parts and tested all my limits. She made me pant and sweat before she gave me the release I begged for – screaming. First, I screamed for mercy then I shout out in awe. Finally, we fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and sated, until the morning came. Another first for me. Cindy O’Rourke had really changed me.

* * * *

I spent the rest of the week and the weekend exploring new territories. Cindy showed me possibilities I had never thought
of, both in the bedroom and outside it. She was intelligent, gorgeous, charming and had a big heart. That last quality was a surprise for me out since I had been concentrating on her more flirtatious and naughtier side.

I didn’t complain, though. She knew her way in the bedroom and she learned to read my body quite fast. I didn’t need to do much or say anything. Once or twice,
over those days, she got me back to my old days as a sub and we had the best time. However, she was a generous lover, just like Mark, and she let me play Domme for a couple of times, too.

In fact, Mark and Cindy are more alike than I had thought at first and that made my
decision even harder. The more I tried to analyze my feelings and make up my mind, the more confused I got. After all, feelings aren’t rational. You’ve got to feel them not think them over.

Also, the more confused I got about the whole thing, the clearer an idea became, in the back of my mind. But, it was such an outrageous idea I kept telling myself that was a joke. A naughty, steamy-hot one, but a joke nevertheless.

Mark returned to New York during that weekend and I remembered it, although, I didn’t call him. It took me all my self-control not to call him, too. Even having Cindy by my side and feeling like I was in heaven didn’t make me forget him. I felt like shit because of that.

M
onday morning came and so did Mark. When I got to the office and saw him behind his desk, all my feelings, doubts and suppressed desires came rushing back. My heart beat in my throat, my legs turned to jelly and I staggered a little. I had to grab the nearest thing to regain balance and it was the reception counter. I heard Cindy clearing her throat and looked up. She was frowning at me as she mouthed – ‘what’s wrong?’

I shrugged and greeted both, then, walked to my office. It would have been impossible to ignore Mark, even if I wanted to, because of our working situation but I managed to deal with that during the morning. My problem was when he was
not
in my office. I got distracted and accomplished very little as my tasks were put aside by my own brain that insisted on focusing on Mark and Cindy, instead.

A little after lunchtime, I texted Mark: “How about dinner tonight?”

He answered me promptly: “My place or your place?”

I thought about it for a while and realized that maybe he would feel more comfortable if we were in his own territory. The conversation I needed to have with him would be tense and I decided to give him that advantage.
“Your place. What time?”

He replied, “Is
eight fine for you?”

“Yes, Mark, it’s great. See you then.”

After a minute or so, my phone buzzed and I read his new text, “What’s up, Carol? I’ve got to ask.”

I smiled to myself because I knew exactly where that question was coming from.
For the first time in my relationship with Mark, I asked his opinion about our plans instead of ordering him around. I owed him that, I figured. I’ve always believed in equal rights and equal opportunities and I thought I should treat Mark and Cindy the same way. Since its beginning, my relationship with Cindy had had a balance of power that I had never experienced with Mark. It was about time I offered him the same kind of treatment.

“Nothing is up, sweetie. Not on my part, anyway. How about you?” I texted back starting a steamy sexting session that lasted for a while until reality interfered and we returned to our responsibilities.

Towards the end of the day, Mark gave me the messages I received while I was in a meeting. I returned all the calls, leaving my mother for last. I called her cell phone as she had requested.

“Hey, mom. Is everything OK? Where are you?”

“Hi, Carol, honey. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I had an appointment at the spa but I really wanted to talk to you today.”

“Spa seems a great idea, mom. With my crazy schedule, these days, I can only dream about this kind of luxury. Good for you!”

“You need to find time for yourself. Go out and have fun. Life is too short, Carol, don’t waste it on trivial things.”

“Mom, working is not exactly unimportant,” I scoffed.

“That’s not what I meant. I worry about you, that’s all. You’ll turn thirty soon but you don’t have a steady boyfriend; a person you can have fun and share experiences with, a person you can count on to help you whenever you need him.”

“What if I got a
steady girlfriend instead of a steady boyfriend?” I tested her and she didn’t fail it. Her reply was instant – no hesitations.

“
I don’t care who you choose. You should know about that, after everything your father and I told you. I just want to know you’re safe and happy, my child. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

My throat felt so tight I couldn’t speak.

“Carol? Are you still there?”

“Yes, mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. It means a lot to me to hear that. All of that.”

It was my mom’s turn to choke a little but I gave her time to recover.

“Honey, I’m aware of our shortcomings in raising you up – mine and your father’s. But, please, don’t
ever
doubt our love for you. Do you understand that?”

“Mom, I think I’m finally doing that,” I wanted to avoid a more emotional scene over the phone, so, I changed the topic. “I’m sure you didn’t call me just to say I need to get a boyfriend, right?”

“Of course not, Carol. I’d never tell you to do anything. I know you’d do the opposite,” she chuckled and I agreed. “I wanted to update you about your birthday party. I talked to everybody on your list and they have all confirmed their presences.”

“Even Dave and Jerry?”

“Yes.”

“And the people from the office?”

“Well, you included only two but they have both confirmed.”

The butterflies were back inside my stomach. I held my breath then let it out slowly. It sounded like a mixture of a sigh and a moan.

“Are you OK? Did I do something wrong, sweetie?”

“No, mom, you didn’t. Don’t worry.”

“Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything I could help you with?”

I hesitated and almost accepted her offer but I wasn’t ready for that. Not yet, anyway.

“I’m fine, mom, really. If I need anything, you’ll be the first to know. How’s dad?”

We talked a little bit more about my father and his health, then, we said our goodbyes.

“Ok, see you in a couple of weeks.”

“Thanks, mom. See you.”

When I hung up I checked the time and found out I needed to hurry if I didn’t want to be late for my dinner with Mark. I didn’t want to. I called a cab and was on the way to my apartment when I got a text from Cindy.

“Where are you? I didn’t see you leave the office. Want to grab a bite?”

I smiled and didn’t resist teasing her a little. “I can think of some juicy parts of your body I’d love to bite, right now.”

“Very funny. No time for sexting, though. I prefer the real thing. Can I come to your place?”

I stared at my phone in my hand and decided to call her. Some things should be said directly.

“Hey, you,” her warm voice did crazy things to my lower body.

“Hey, yourself. Listen, I didn’t have a chance to give you a heads up but I decided to talk to Mark. The sooner, the better, right? I’m going to his place for dinner.”

“Who’s going to be dessert?”

I took a deep breath to control my temper. Trying to be a new person is never easy for anybody. I wasn’t the exception.

“Don’t be like that, Cindy. You insult me when you say things like that. I’ve told you I would never hurt him
, or you, on purpose. I owe him an honest conversation, at least, don’t you agree?”

“
I guess. We can hurt people unintentionally, you know.”

“I know that. I’ll do my best not to hurt anyone.”

She sighed loudly and I knew we were fine again, “Try not to hurt yourself, honey.”

I smiled at the concern in her voice, “I won’t. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

At eight o’clock sharp I rang Mark’s doorbell. He opened it, let me in and kissed me. It was such a sweet kiss, I returned it almost out of habit. He had ordered in from a fancy Italian restaurant nearby
and we sat down to eat.

“Wow, Mark,
it was a great idea to order in. It’s much more comfortable, intimate. Besides, this food is exquisite!”

“Tell me about
it. Did you like the wine?”

Instead of answering, I gave him my glass to fill it up. I had already had more than half a bottle but I thought I could find courage to talk to him if I had
more wine. He filled the glass and stood up.

“Let’s move to the living room?”

“Sure,” I stood up and walked after him.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get another bottle of wine for us.”

I sat on the couch, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. We had such a great time over dinner, talking about his folks and siblings, talking about new movies and politics. We were different in so many things but that has only made our conversations so much more interesting. We had always loved teasing each other to no end about our differences and similarities. That night was no exception. We even flirted a little. No harm, just some playful comments and some good laughs. It felt like all times, like before the day Cindy had come into my life – our lives. I heard him return to the room but I was too lazy to open my eyes. “Or too afraid to face reality?” asked that stupid, nagging voice in my head.

Either way, he had turned on the music when I arrived and I was listening to a nice, female voice singing about a guy with a jar of hearts. Beautiful melody but sad lyrics.

“It’s a beautiful song,” I said aloud, with my eyes still closed.

“It’s a beautiful view.”

His voice sounded too close and it startled me. I opened my eyes to find his were an inch or so away. His lips were almost touching mine. I looked at those perfect, male lips and froze. My conscience told me to push Mark away. The rest of my body ignored it completely. I felt alive, with every nerve ending at full alert. I smelled his sweet, clean perfume. I felt the heat from his body through our clothes. His breath mingled with mine and the wine shot up to my head a second before our lips met. He darted his tongue out to tease mine and to gauge my reaction. I inhaled and exhaled but didn’t move an inch. He snaked his hand behind my neck and captured my mouth, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs as he did so. He savored it, plundered it. I didn’t resist and he took whatever he wanted. When his hand touched my breast, over the thin silk blouse, I woke up from the sensual trance, sat upright and broke the kiss.

“I’m sorry, Mark. I can’t. We shouldn’t do this,” I had problem speaking because my brain was dazed. I held his hand in mine. Then, I put my free hand on his chest, over his heart. I
t was beating as fast as mine. “We need to talk.”

“What is there to talk, Carol? I thought you had made up your mind. You
sexted me earlier today, you invited me out to dinner. You came here tonight, we talked, had a great time. You flirted with me and I thought you’d decided we should be together again. I was wrong. End of story.”

“Mark, you know it’s
not so simple.”

“No? Let me make it simple for you, then, Carol” his mesmerizing green eyes glinted with suppressed anger, although, his tone of voice sounded calm. Deceivingly calm, in fact. “Have you talked to the other guy? The one you fucked without meaning to?”

“Yes, Mark,” I tried but failed to keep looking him in the eyes. Guilt overwhelmed me and I dropped my stare to my hands on my lap.

“Did you set things straight with him?”

“Yes, I did.”

He pulled my chin up until our eyes met again. I looked away, again. He dropped his hand and I felt his body tensing beside me.

“Why can’t you look at me? What happened?” his voice was so broken, my heart skipped a beat or two.

I looked up into his eyes and held my breath at the emotions on display there. I needed to be a complete fool not to understand them. Particularly the pain he
tried to hide with a half-smile and a joke, but didn’t succeed.

“Now that you’re looking at me I wish you wouldn’t.
” he scoffed. “I don’t want to know about you and him. Forget I asked.”

All of a sudden, the speech I had prepared in my head went up in smoke. I remembered the words but they were meaningless.
I didn’t want Mark to suffer. Period. Not for me, not for anything or anybody. I wanted to hold him in my arms and shield him from all the evils in this world. If that wasn’t love, I didn’t know what it was. I hugged him and pressed his head against my chest. I kissed the top of his head and whispered.

“I hate to see you in
pain. I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t do that.”