Valentine's Day Is Killing Me (19 page)

She looked so damn good.
For another man
. He scowled at the reminder. “Yeah?”

“You’re busy,” she said, and took a step out of his office. “I can come back another time.”

She looked like she was about to make a run for it. “No, what’s up?” Calder dropped his marker and grabbed her before she escaped.

The minute he touched her he knew his restraint was not up for the test. Images collided and crowded his mind. Of him caging her in his arms and not letting her go. Of slamming the door closed and pressing her against it. Of kissing her senseless until her lips were reddened with his mark. He wanted to burrow his fingers under her sweater and palm her breasts, teasing her nipples until she called out his name…

“Do you have any plans for tonight?”…wrap her legs around his hips, shove her skirt up and—what? “Uh, no,” he answered dazedly. “Why?”

She nervously hooked her hair behind her ear. A diamond heart earring winked back at him. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over to my place after work.”

Calder frowned, shaking the image of her, wild and willing, against his door. He couldn’t follow what she was saying. “Your place.” Sounded crowded.

“For dinner,” she clarified. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes and smiled.

His body grew heavy and his cock stirred. That was the same look she always gave right before she blew his mind with staggering pleasure. The kind of pleasure that hurt so good and left him gasping for air.

His gaze drifted down Shanna’s face, his heartbeat skittering. Calder wanted to brush his mouth against each freckle before tasting her lips and dipping his tongue inside her wet heat. He craved her so much that he almost couldn’t stand it. But she was worth the agony.

“I’ll make your favorite,” she promised.

He was really confused. Tempted and bedazzled, but confused. Calder dragged his gaze away and glanced at his calendar. Yeah, it was February 14, unfortunately. “You don’t cook on Valentine’s Day.”

“Eh, so what?” Shanna waved off his concern. “I’ll break tradition.”

Calder swallowed roughly. He wanted to grab the surprise gift with both hands, but he didn’t want to share, either. “What about Dominic?” he asked, reluctant to mention the guy’s name.

She pulled away from him. “Oh, yeah. Dominic.” She rolled her eyes and made a face. “We’re not going out tonight. Or ever, for that matter.”

“Why not?” He liked the annoyance burring her words. Dominic somehow screwed up—or else Shanna came to her senses.

“He canceled.” She shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

Pain slammed deep in his chest. Calder was surprised he didn’t stagger back from the force. Shanna’s plans fell through and she was going to fall back on Calder. Not because she wanted to go out with him, but because she wanted to go out.

“So? How about it?” The soft promise in her voice had the same effect on his defense as a battering ram. “You, me, and a home-cooked dinner?”

She was even going to forgo her cardinal rule to make something out of what’s left of the day. Damn, this was going to hurt. But he had to do it. When they got back together—and they would—it would be for the right reasons. Not because no one else was available. “No,” he answered gruffly.

“Does seven—I’m sorry?” She frowned. “What?”

“I said, no.” He turned away and walked to his desk before he ruined it by falling to his knees at her feet. “I don’t want to be the alternate date,” he continued in a hard, flat tone. “You want to be with someone for Valentine’s and since I don’t have any plans, I’ll do.”

Shanna looked stunned. “That’s not the reason at all.”

“Right.” Calder sat down, grabbing a pen between tense, whitened fingers. He needed distance. He needed to be at least a room’s length away with as much furniture between them as possible.

He wanted to grab for the one thing he had been wishing for, and he barely had the strength to deny himself. Calder’s hand shook slightly and hoped Shanna didn’t notice. He now understood how she felt when she refused to accept the terms of their relationship.

And she managed it for three months. He didn’t think he was going to last three more minutes. The woman had more strength than he gave her credit for.

Shanna glared at him. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything,” she ordered, her voice rising. “Forget I was here.”

Now
that
he couldn’t accomplish, even if he wanted to.

He said no.

Shanna exited the elevator like a sleepwalker. She felt dazed and couldn’t shake out of it. She couldn’t believe it.
Calder had said no
.

Well, what did she expect? She broke up with him months ago, had just accepted a date with another man, acted like she was ready to sleep with that other man, and thought Calder would be panting at the possibility of getting back together.

She was an idiot. She threw away the possibility of a really good thing for a fantasy that was never going to happen.

Shanna walked into the department and froze.

The florist deliveries had already arrived.

That is, florist deliveries for
other
people.

Megan’s large, beautiful bouquet peeked over her cubicle wall. The flowers were bright. Cheerful. Nauseating.

Shanna slowly walked to her desk, glancing at Kerry’s. The woman had received a darkly exotic floral arrangement. She hadn’t even realized Kerry had someone special enough to send flowers.

Shanna quietly sat at her computer, hoping no one would notice the lack of greenery on her desk. She tried desperately to focus on the line of code, never feeling so empty in her life.

“Shanna?”

You can do this. Your breakdown will resume at 6:00 P.M.
Shanna fought for a polite expression and turned. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Angie standing at the cubicle doorway holding the most enormous bouquet of red roses.

The gray Seattle clouds parted and a stream of sun hit the blood-red petals. Shanna felt the constricting binds of misery breaking free from her ribs. Tears of joy burned the back of her eyes and she realized that Dominic had planned to send her flowers. She could have sworn the angels were singing the “Hallelujah Chorus” in the background.

“Well?” Angie’s strident voice halted the music to a screeching stop. “Are you going to take them or do I throw them in the trash?”

“
What?
” Her boss had gone too far.
Harm one petal, harm even one leaf, and you’re a dead woman.

“You weren’t listening, were you?” Angie sighed, her nostrils flaring. “Both Stan and Tony sent me flowers. I can’t have this bouquet,” she shook the vase slightly, “from Tony in my office when Stan picks me up tonight.”

“Oh. Right.”
Angie—2, Shanna—0.

“I was going to throw them out when I realized you don’t have a bouquet.”

Shanna felt the blush crawling up her neck as her coworkers glanced in her direction.
Go ahead. Turn a spotlight onto my flower-free cubicle.

“Do you want them?” Angie asked impatiently.

No. She didn’t. Why would anyone think she wanted hand-me-down flowers! Who cared if they were her dream floral arrangement right down to the baby’s breath, fern fronds, and bright red satin bow?

But what excuse could she possibly give, since she had flowers on her desk for the past six weeks? “Thanks,” Shanna said, as she accepted the heavy arrangement.

“No problem,” Angie replied, and walked away without a backward glance.

Shanna stared at the bouquet. Why wasn’t there a patron saint for women who were dumped on Valentine’s Day? She could use some divine intervention right about now.

Shanna tried to work steadily for the rest of the morning, but her gaze kept darting to her clock.

She blocked out the oohs and aahs her coworkers made about the teddy bear Angie received a half an hour later.

She ignored Kerry’s covert whispering on a phone call with her “grandma,” who apparently goes by the name of “Snake.”

And when Angie found it necessary to unwrap a present in front of everyone, even though it had a designer lingerie emblem on the box, Shanna didn’t gag once at the sight of the crotchless underwear in her boss’s hand.

Shanna thought she was doing well under the circumstances, amazing even herself when Angie’s husband sent a huge box from a local chocolatier. As her boss passed the treats around, Shanna went so far as to blindly grab the closest chocolate and politely say thanks.

A lot of good
that
did her. It turned out to be a raspberry cordial. Figured. If there was one way to ruin a good piece of chocolate, add sticky-sweet fruit syrup that dripped everywhere.

She glanced again at the flowers on her desk. At least she got one thing on her list. A dozen red roses. Sent by a man. And she received them in front of everybody.

Shanna determinedly looked away. Next time she’d be more specific on her list.

No. Wait. There would be no next time. She did everything possible to ensure a proper V-Day and it didn’t work. Nothing worked. She was giving up, rolling over, and playing dead.

“’Bye, girls.”

The ebullient voice jarred Shanna out of her thoughts. She glanced up and saw her boss waltzing out of her office, heading for the exit.

“’Bye, Angie,” Megan piped up.

“When I get back,” Angie said, and took another sip from her coffee mug, “I expect to see major progress.”

Hot anger boiled inside Shanna, crackling through her composure. She wanted to take that coffee mug and ram it down Angie’s throat.

“When can we expect you back?” Megan asked.

“I don’t know for sure,” Angie said with a coy smile. “I’m having a long lunch.”

Shanna rolled her eyes. “Oh, give me a break!”

After a tense silence, Angie said sharply, “Excuse me?”

Damn! Shanna winced. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
Don’t say anything else. Keep quiet!

“Did you say something, Shanna?”

She heard Angie by her cubicle doorway. Shanna slowly opened her eyes.
Think Nancy Reagan! Just say no!

But she couldn’t. It was as if her body were rejecting everything obedient. “You shouldn’t be taking a long lunch,” Shanna said softly through clenched teeth.

Angie drew to her full height. “
I
shouldn’t?”

“If this deadline is so important,” Shanna reluctantly continued, knowing she was digging herself a deeper grave yet unable to stop herself from disaster, “everyone should work until it’s finished.”

“That’s for me to decide,” Angie said coldly. Her eyes were like shards of ice. It made her look scarier than usual.

“I had to give up my half-day because of a deadline.” Shanna swiped her tongue against dry lips, her heart pounding furiously against her breastbone. “But you’re going to take several hours off?”

“I’m the boss. What I say goes.” She leaned forward, and Shanna saw a glimpse of the pure ruthlessness that she knew had always lain under the surface of the beautiful face. “Got it?” Angie said with lethal softness.

And that was the problem. Angie
was
the boss, and Angie always won. Unemployment was looking better all the time. “Got it.”

“Good.” Angie turned on her heel and marched out of the office.

Shanna glared at Angie’s back until the woman was out of the door and turned the corner. Her courage burst to the forefront once she was out of earshot. “I hope you get hit by a bus!”

“Shanna!” Megan said with a gasp.

“An express bus going a hundred miles an hour,” Shanna continued, her voice rising as she warmed up to the idea.

“Uh…”

Shanna launched from her chair and leaned against the cubicle wall. “A bus stuffed with sumo wrestlers!”

“Shanna?”

“With a driver suffering from PMS!” She clenched the edge with tight hands.

“Yo, Shanna!”

“And when the bus driver hits you…” Her fingers dug into the fabric on the wall.

“Are you—”

“I hope she slams on the brakes. Hard!”

“—okay?”

“And goes in reverse!” Shanna suddenly decided.

“I guess not.”

“Leaving tire tracks permanently tattooed on your face!”

“God, Shanna,” Kerry said, as she turned off her computer. “Grow up.”

So says the woman who gets her half-day. The same woman who approaches every workday with the plan to slack off, leave early, and slough the workload onto her coworkers. Shanna gave Kerry a warning glance.

Kerry rose from her seat and hooked her purse over her shoulder. “I’m out of here. See you guys Monday.”

“Say hello to Grandma Snake for me,” Shanna said. She didn’t feel a spurt of victory at Kerry’s guilty flinch.

Shanna returned to her chair and stared at the computer screen. She was still meditating on the same line of code when Megan cautiously left for a lunch with her fiancé.

“And then there was one,” Shanna muttered to herself. Once again, she found herself alone making sure the work got done. Having the least seniority meant the last for lunch because “someone had to be in the office,” the last to leave work, the last to pick vacation time. Dead last in everything.

When it was nearly 2:00 P.M., Shanna found herself staring at the screen, waffling over the plan to change a few variables in the program to mess with everyone’s mind. But that would only cause more work for her in the long run.

It really was hell being the lowest on the totem pole, Shanna decided, rubbing her stomach as it growled. Especially when there was no opportunity to move up. And now she had made it nearly impossible when she mouthed off.

Shanna shook her head, mourning the years of good behavior dashed by one fit of temper. She knew she was going to suffer for her outburst. She didn’t know when or for how long, but she was going to pay. Through the nose.

“Uh, hello?”

Shanna whirled around and saw the cute but exhausted delivery guy at her cubicle.

“Yeah?” Shanna asked, eyeing the flat, pale blue box from a well-known jeweler.
Please tell me you are my fairy godmother—er, godfather—and whatever you have in the box will bibbidi-bobbidi-boo me outta here.

“I’m looking for Angie…” he squinted at the last name.

Shanna sighed. “She’s not in.”

“I need you to sign for this.” He thrust the clipboard in her face.

Could Valentine’s Day get any worse? Shanna wordlessly signed the sheet and grabbed the box. She watched the delivery guy leave and decided this was the suckiest of days.

Rising from her seat, she headed toward her boss’s office. She glowered at the box, reading the sappy love note Angie’s husband had attached, and her feet faltered to a stop. Should she take a peek? Just a small one?

Shanna looked right and left before she unlatched the box and opened the lid. Her gasp rang out as she stared at the diamond necklace.

Shanna snapped the lid closed.

You know what? Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday. It was designed
all
wrong. There was something seriously faulty about a holiday where a woman was too busy boinking her lover to accept diamonds from her husband.

She stomped into Angie’s office and tossed the box onto her boss’s desk. When it went down with a thud, Shanna cringed. If that turned out to be broken and she signed for it—it would be the suitable ending for a crummy day.

She retrieved the box and flipped the lid open. Shanna sighed as the diamonds sparkled back at her. She lovingly traced the snowflake design with the tip of her finger. What would it be like to receive something so beautiful? To wear something this gorgeous?

A naughty thought invaded her mind. She
could
try on the necklace. Right here and now. Her eyes shifted right and left again. No one would know.

Shanna nibbled her lip as she studied the diamond-encrusted necklace.

No. Shanna closed the lid and latched it. No. No. No. Considering how her day had been going, the hook would get stuck and she wouldn’t be able to get it off.

Anyway, Shanna thought as she placed the velvety box in the center of Angie’s desk, she didn’t want diamonds. Well, actually, she did. But she wanted the
meaning
behind the diamonds even more.

She just had to stop holding her breath for that fairy tale to happen, Shanna thought with a slump of her shoulders. Her head dipped and she frowned when she looked inside the wastebasket.

What the…? It was the cupcake Megan made especially for Angie. Nearly untouched. Hmm…not everyone was getting their way. Good to know she wasn’t the only one.

Calder stood by Shanna’s cubicle and dragged his gaze away from the amazing bouquet of roses. Who was giving her flowers? Dominic? His competition was smarter than he thought.

He wished he had given her those roses. He wished he had put the smile on Shanna Murphy’s face. He bet her expression would have taken his breath away.

He didn’t begrudge her flowers, Calder thought, flicking his gaze back at the offending petals. He knew she should be surrounded by them. Every day.

Acid ate away at his stomach. Or maybe it was regret. Possibly—though he wouldn’t admit to it even under torture—fear.

All that I-refuse-to-take-part-in-all-things-romantic was crap. He had been blowing smoke. He hated to admit it—God, he hated to admit it—but he was scared. Scared of messing up. Scared of making a fool of himself when deep down he wanted to be her Prince Charming.

He didn’t have what it took to be a prince, but he wasn’t going to let that hold him back anymore. He was going to pursue Shanna again. He might get it wrong. He probably would leave out something important, but he’d take the risk.

He saw Shanna stepping out of Angie’s office. She hesitated before walking over to him. “What’s up, Calder?”

“Is your date with Dominic back on?”

“No,” Shanna replied.

The knot that had formed in his chest loosened. He gestured at the flowers. “Then who?”

Shanna looked away and down at her feet. “Angie received two bouquets, and since I was the only one without flowers…”

Calder winced. His pursuit wasn’t going to be easy. He had a lot of mistakes to correct.

“So,” Shanna folded her arms across her chest, “why are you here?” She suddenly glanced at the door.

Calder followed her gaze and saw Angie breezing in. The tousled hair, the secret smile, the creased red suit told him just what Angie had for lunch.

“Shanna?” Angie’s voice rose with irritation. “Are you just getting back?”

Calder silently observed the muscle twitching in Shanna’s cheek. “I haven’t gone to lunch,” she answered carefully. “I’m not allowed to leave the office unattended. Remember?”

“Where is everyone else?” Angie gestured at the empty cubicles.

“Kerry left early to take care of her”—she paused—“
grandmother
, and I don’t know why Megan hasn’t shown up yet.”

“It’s too late for you to go to lunch. You need to get back to work,” Angie said as she waltzed into her office and closed the door.

Shanna turned and faced Calder. “I really do hate her,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I heard.” As much as he wanted to whisk Shanna away from the woman’s claws, any interference would only make it worse. He was already failing as Prince Charming, but that guy was too impetuous, anyway. “Runaway bus? Sumo wrestlers?”

“How’d you hear about that?” she asked in a whisper, darting a guilty look at Angie’s door.

Was she kidding? Everyone from the CEO to the cleaners gossiped. “You were shouting it and someone overheard.”

She made a face. “Terrific.”

“You shouldn’t have done it,” Calder was compelled to say. He couldn’t take her away, but he might be able to guide her. Although she probably wouldn’t appreciate it. “Angie is going to give you hell.”

“Yeah, I know.” She rubbed her forehead tiredly. “So, what were you going to talk to me about?”

Yep. Didn’t appreciate it. “I changed my mind about tonight.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You have? Even though you think you’re an alternate date?”

“I don’t think that. I—I…” Okay, he might be doing his best to transform into Mr. Romance, but he had no idea what he was doing. “I want to take you somewhere tonight.”

“Really?” He heard her catch her breath. “You don’t have to.”

Calder looked intently in Shanna’s eyes. “As a Valentine’s date,” he clarified.

Shanna froze. “No way,” she said, her mouth barely moving.

Calder waved his hand in front of her eyes, snapping her out of the daze. “How about I pick you up at five?”

She frowned, looking more confused by the minute. “That’s early for you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“O…kay.”

Angie burst from her office, the door banging against the wall. She hurried over to them. “This is terrible,” she announced, flattening her hands against her chest. “Megan left a message on my voice mail. She’s been in a car accident and she’s in the emergency room being treated for whiplash and a concussion.”

“Impressive,” Shanna murmured. “Can’t prove it. Can’t disprove it.”

“She can’t make it back to work!” Angie announced. “Doctor’s orders!”

“I want to see it in writing,” Shanna said under her breath.

“We have to meet our project objective by midnight.” Calder watched Angie’s wire-hanger-thin shoulders rise and fall, the diamond necklace twinkling under the harsh lights with every move. “Shanna, you’re going to work until they’re done.”

“What?” Shanna exclaimed in a squawk. “I haven’t—”

“You’ll stay all night if need be.” Angie pointed a bony finger, and Calder noticed the lethal length of her manicured nails.