Valley Of Glamorgan (32 page)

The phone rang and rang, until it finally
stopped reaching his voicemail. It wasn’t like him to not pick up I
thought so I decided to leave him a message. “Hey, Declan it’s me
Mina, call me when you get this or call Eirnan as he is looking for
you.” I paused not knowing if it was socially acceptable to say I
love you around all these people so I just said, “Bye,” and hung up
the phone.

As we left I heard Eirnan call out thanks;
not sounding in the last bit worried that Declan couldn’t be
contacted. Maybe I shouldn’t have felt worried either but I had
started getting that darn feeling once again that something
horrible was about to happen. My feelings hadn’t proved me wrong
yet, and that worried me, strangely no more than the fact that I
couldn’t even tell my boyfriend I loved him in front of our
friends. What was wrong with me? Why was it so hard for me to touch
Declan or express my love for him in front of other people? It felt
so wonderful to do all those things when we were together alone,
but around others I pulled away, finding myself wincing whenever he
took my hand or kissed me. Somehow I felt broken, in all the senses
of the word.

Chapter 20

As Lorcan and I made our way into the castle
we could hear pots clattering and people talking. Walking into the
kitchen I was happy to hear the familiar chatter and laughter of
Knoll and Maggie. “Hey little sister,” she called out before
pulling me into a tight one armed hug. I presumed her other arm was
occupied with either Knoll’s hand or a cooking utensil.

Knoll patted me on the shoulder with his
familiar rough palm. “Hey,” he said still sounding a little annoyed
with me for firing him as my guardian. The thought made me feel
like telling him that I also felt annoyed with myself at the moment
for doing it too because Lorcan was not the nicest person to have
to spend your entire day with. But I couldn’t say that in front of
Lorcan, or Maggie, because I knew for the first time that she was
truly happy and I wouldn’t, no couldn’t take that away from her,
even if that meant I was stuck with Mr. Sourpuss all day.

“Where is Mom and Dad,” I asked Maggie,
enjoying the smell of the food wafting through the air.

“They had some sort of business trip to take
but will be back in a few days; just in time for your animal
ceremony!” she responded.

“Ah, don’t remind me. Anyway I am glad that
you guys came over,” I admitted, not wanting to tell them how much
I now missed them since they had moved into their own house.

Maggie decided to shoo the guys out of the
kitchen and into the living room. I was shocked that Lorcan hadn’t
demanded to stay and watch over me but thankfully he followed Knoll
into the living room, leaving me alone for the first time
today.

“He is so serious,” Maggie whispered, once
she was sure the men were out of ear range.

Laughing, I replied, “I know. He most
definitely takes his job seriously. I don’t know what they do to
people on the Isle of Fire and to be honest I never want to find
out.”

“I have heard horror stories,” Maggie said,
leaning over and whispering, “Too bad you can’t see him though; he
is very nice to look at,” and she giggled.

Slapping her arm lightly, thankfully not
missing. “Don’t get me wrong,” she declared, “I love Knoll but
there’s no harm in looking,” and I listened happily at her
beautiful sing song laughter. I had never been like this with her
before. We were behaving normally, as if all of the crazy events
that had occurred in our lives hadn’t happened and we were two
happy normal sisters making dinner and talking about guys; it was
exceedingly nice.

Maybe, I figured, was now a good time to
talk to her about my issue with Declan so taking a deep breath I
asked her, “I was hoping to talk to you about something.”

Pulling the chair out next to mine Maggie
sat down and briefly put her hand on mine; it was her way of
letting me know she was ready to listen so I started explaining, “I
love Declan.” It felt strange saying that to her but I continued,
“We have so much fun together and he makes me so happy, but when we
are in public I seem to freeze up. For some reason I can’t tell him
that I love him and, there are times when he takes my hand that I
feel strange and embarrassed; not to be with him but because he
wants to touch me.” Stopping speaking I ran my hands over my face.
“I know it sounds stupid. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me,”
I concluded.

Silence reigned in the kitchen, although I
could hear Maggie rattling her nails against the counter top as if
she was contemplating over what I had just said before responding.
Finally, taking a breath she replied, “I don’t think there is
anything wrong with you Mina. I think it’s hard for you to accept
people’s affection and to acknowledge it in public because you
blame yourself for what has happened to you. Or,” and she hesitated
before continuing, “And, please don’t slap me for saying this, but
just maybe you and Declan aren’t meant to be together.”

Her words caused me to feel irritated and
offended that she would say such a thing. Declan was kind and so
very handsome; he treated me wonderfully and he, according to
Willow and our parents, was my soul mate. He apparently was the
‘one’ who I would spend the rest of my life with; the one who, if
anything happened to him, meant I would die of a broken heart or be
alone for the rest of my life. Finally I responded to her, “You
have been trained by Willow, how can you think that?” yet it seemed
to come out sounding as thought I was a lot less hurt than I really
felt.

Maggie sighed saying, “I can say that
because everyone is so sure that he is your one and only, that your
animals have joined together as one and blah blah blah. BUT Mina,”
and she stressed the word, “You don’t have a spiritual animal yet
and his has only just been awoken not that long ago, so how can
something be certain and set in stone when all the cards aren’t
laid out in front of you? That is like saying you can win a poker
game with just half a deck of cards. How do you know what hand you
could have, if you just settle for the one that people have dealt
you? As a healer I have been told over and over again that I must
be with a guardian. I have had no choice. But, I didn’t let that
stop me from dating other royals and making mistakes.

When I met Knoll I knew he was the one and
not because some mystical thing told me so. I knew it because no
matter where I was or who I was with he was all I wanted! It didn’t
matter that he was a guardian,” and she paused to allow her words
to sink in to mind. Then she continued, “I am not trying to say
that you don’t love Declan, or that you won’t spend the rest of
your life with him, just be sure he is the one you actually want
and not the one you think you want. I have seen too many girls fall
for the wrong person. They end up living their lives by telling
themselves that something is wrong with them, because they feel
they should be happy with their choice. Just think Mina first.”

As I sat taking in everything that Maggie
had said to me I wondered if she right. Maybe I was pushing myself
to fulfill a prophecy with Declan or did I really love him?

“She is right you know,” proclaimed a voice
behind me. “My apologies; I didn’t mean to overhear your
conversation, I simply came to get a glass of water.” It was Lorcan
and he had heard God only knew what. I could have died of
embarrassment.

Shortly afterwards I heard Maggie walk out
of the kitchen, leaving me alone with Lorcan, as she went to tell
Knoll that dinner would be ready in ten minutes and asked him to
come and help her set the table.

“What do you know about love? You won’t even
be my friend,” I stated peevishly.

“But, I do have a heart Mina, and I know
about love and loss,” declared Lorcan. “I also know how difficult
it is when people try to decide for you, saying that someone is who
you are supposed to be with. I did the same thing; I fell for
someone who I thought was my soul mate only to get my heart ripped
out when I was proved wrong. Just be very careful who you give your
heart to Princess and remember a broken heart is not something that
is easily fixed.”

Swallowing hard I didn’t know what to say to
him; he had sounded so defeated in that moment. There he was
bearing himself and opening up to me which I am sure went against
everything he said he would do. Following him through to the dining
room he suddenly leaned towards me and whispered so only I could
hear, “And for the record, I don’t think being your friend would be
a bad thing. It’s just easier for me this way.” There was nothing I
could stay.

It was strange sitting at the table without
my parents being present. They usually lead the conversation,
asking how my day had been or bringing us information about the
village and what was going on. Yet, even though they were absent,
sitting at the table this evening with my sister, Knoll and Lorcan
it felt just as complete. Maybe all changes didn’t have to be for
the worse, maybe in time Lorcan and I could be friends.

After a delicious and filling meal we made
our way into the living room, deciding to play a game. I was
surprised, and a little worried about the adults in the room, when
the game decided upon was twenty questions. Knoll decided to start
first by asking, “Lorcan. Is it true that on the Isle of Fire, the
royal men have more than one wife?”

With a smile in his voice I heard Lorcan
respond, “Yes, it is true. Usually only the royal men have more
than one wife; although some guardian has had the choice of more
than one. Maggie giggled as Knoll loudly kissed her all over her
face saying, “Guardians are smart, and this gorgeous one sitting
right here is the only woman I will ever want.”

Then it was Lorcan’s turn. I was readying
myself for a dull question when he said, “Mina,” taking me off
guard by not calling me princess. “Is it true that you are expected
to be the prophesied one?”

I began to reply but Maggie interjected
asking, “What? Are you talking about?” She waited for a few seconds
and then continued on saying, “Anyways you have to wait until it’s
your turn Mina.” For some reason she sounded irritated and I
wondered how many people really thought I was the prophesied
one.

Deciding to answer him I said, “Yes. I guess
it is true. That everyone thinks I am supposed to be the one. BUT,
spoiler alert. I am just a blind seventeen year old girl who is
going to most likely prove to be a great disappointment to them,”
and I laughed at what I hoped sounded like a joke. It seemed I had
done the right thing and discovered I had reunited the mood. We
were all having so much fun and I felt my doom and gloom
personality had come out and tried to ruin it. Or so I had thought
until Lorcan took me by surprise by bursting out laughing. He had a
nice laugh, not too loud nor obnoxious but a deep, haughty
laugh.

Apparently it was now my turn to ask someone
a question and I was glad we were still playing. I chose to ask
Lorcan but instead of asking him what he meant by his comment that
it hadn’t been the first time he had heard of me being the one; I
decided not to darken the mood with that stuff. So I asked him,
“How old are you Lorcan?”

Suddenly Knoll laughed out loud saying, “I
hate that question. It always reminds me how many years I have on
ya kid.” Rolling my eyes I sighed teasing Knoll by telling him,
“You are thirty one years old so that is hardly cause for alarm,
and anyway I didn’t ask you.” And I turned to where Lorcan was
sitting, waiting for his reply.

“I am nineteen years old,” Lorcan said.

“Wow!” I said, surprised that he was a
guardian at such a young age. And I wasn’t the only one who was
surprised.

“Hey, I didn’t become a fully-fledged
guardian until I was twenty three!” Knoll admitted with some
curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Lorcan explained, “On the Isle of Dóiteáin
we start to train at a very young age.”

“That must have been hard,” stated Maggie in
a soothing maternal voice. She was always so caring of others.

“Indeed it was,” Lorcan agreed. Somehow, I
felt like there was so much more to the story than he was telling;
maybe one day he would trust me enough to tell me. Until then I
would have to let it go.

I was listening to Knoll begin to ask Maggie
a question when my phone suddenly started to ring. I still hated
not being able to see caller I.D and who it was calling me.
Answering it I said a simple, “Hello.”

“Hey beautiful. I’m sorry I missed your
call, but I have been so busssssyyyy…,” it was Declan and as he
spoke he let out a laugh, then it sounded as if he had fallen down
or knocked something over.

“Are you ok?” I asked worried by the
noise.

Declan just laughed before responding, “I’m
fine babe; just partying! WHOOO,” he then yelled out loudly causing
me to pull the phone away from my ear.

Starting to get a little annoyed I asked
him, “Where are you Declan? Shall we come and get you?”

But I was met by silence but then relief
when Eirnan came on the phone, thankfully sober and told me, “I am
so sorry. I told him not to call you until he had sobered up.”

“Well,” I replied, “At least we know why he
wasn’t answering his phone earlier,” and I must have sounded
clearly annoyed as I spoke into the phone.

Eirnan hesitated before replying, “There is
something you should know Mina. I feel it’s only right telling you
that he got drunk at Thora’s.”

Suddenly I heard, “You son of a bitch!” It
was Declan screaming at Eirnan, rather too loudly I might add,
before obviously trying to grab the phone he shouted, “I told you
nothing happened,” and then he leaned towards the phone yelling at
me, “Nothing happened babe!”