Valley Of Glamorgan (36 page)

Maggie was wise beyond her years and I was
so happy that she was here as she was the only one who seemed to
understand the pressure of people’s expectations. I still didn’t
know what to do about Declan or Lorcan, but at least I would be
able to go to bed tonight feeling that at least someone
understood.

Eleanor stormed into the room. “I finally
found the dress,” she announced excitedly, “It’s perfect for you.
Although I will have to have the seamstress let the chest area
out,” she said, “but the rest will fit perfectly.” That was the one
thing I hated about myself, being big breasted. Everything had been
a custom fit. Why couldn’t I just walk into one of the few shops we
had to choose from in the village and wear what I purchased the
same day? No, it was always way too tight in the chest area.

Maggie began describing the dress to me,
which I found thoughtful but unnecessary. “It’s a white dress and
is long and silky. It was the dress mom wore to her animal
ceremony.”

My breath caught in my throat and I felt
very pleased to be wearing her dress, although it felt odd that she
hadn’t offered to let Maggie wear it. “It is the prefect dress for
you Mina,” and she hugged me whispering in my ear, “I gcónaí ar mo
dheirfiúr i gcónaí mo chara.”

“What does that mean,” and I felt silly for
having to ask.

But Maggie didn’t seem concerned, “It means,
‘always my sister, always my friend;’ I want you to remember that
tomorrow. Hugging her once more they both whispered goodnight,
closing the door quietly as they left. Now it was time to go to
bed. After tomorrow everything would change.

Lying on the bed I was thinking that I had
no idea what was to become of me, if I let the village down what
would happen to me. Will it be a normal animal ceremony or will I
become the one they all seemed to hope I was? I felt nervous as I
fell asleep and for the first time since arriving here I was scared
that after tonight I would never be myself again.

Chapter 22

No one knocked on the door to wake me up the
following morning. It was the first time in days that I had the
choice of when I got out of bed. I would have been relieved any
other day, but today was the day of my animal ceremony so I was
nervous and on edge. Getting up out of bed, my messy hair was
pressed against my face. Ever since it had been cut I had been
having a problem with controlling it. Leaving the room I made my
way down stairs, not even bothering to change out of my
pajamas.

Once in the kitchen I sat in my normal place
and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I had grown to love my simple
routine and feared that even it might change after today. Well, it
was going to change after today at least for the next three days.
That was the time required for me, like everyone else, to stay in
the cabin during my transition. I was less scared of the pain than
being alone out there all day and night.

The house felt empty and I wondered where
everyone had disappeared to. ‘Probably off doing whatever was
necessary before this evening’s event,’ I thought. Lorcan was
around somewhere but today he was giving me space. I heard someone
come through the front door and was surprised to hear that it was
Taya.

“Hey,” she called out before enveloping me
in a tight hug. “I thought you could use some company today. It
seems everyone is having a meeting at the guard’s station; going
over the security for tonight and afterwards whilst you’re at the
cabin. Rest assured,” and I could picture her smiling at me as she
finished, “You will be well taken care of.”

I hadn’t really talked to her since Maggie’s
party. To be honest I was still feeling a little hurt over the fact
that they hadn’t warned me until the last minute of Thora’s plan to
humiliate me. ‘However,’ I thought, ‘I am going to let that go
today as there is just too much going on for me to go through it
alone, and besides, Taya really is a good friend.’

“What time is it,” I asked feeling still
kind of groggy?

Taya looked at her watch. “It’s actually
2pm. You’ve slept for quite a while,” she said touching the top of
my hair and by the looks of it you’re going to have to have help
fixing that.

I laughed. I knew my hair looked awful yet
it felt good to have someone be honest enough to say it. I couldn’t
believe it was two in the afternoon. I still had three hours until
the big family dinner my parents were insisting on hosting, and
eight hours until my animal ceremony. Following Taya into the
living room I sat on the floor in front of the couch as she tried
to do something with my unruly hair.

“So how are you and Eirnan doing?” I asked
her. I wanted to just talk about anything other than the animal
ceremony or my problems.

“We are great!” she replied bubbling, “He is
so amazing; he made me breakfast in bed the other day.”

Sitting up I wished I could look at her.
“You two have had sex?” I asked amazed at the thought.

“Yeah,” she said giggling. “To be honest I
just didn’t want to wait anymore as I have no doubt in my mind that
he is the one.” At one point I would have agreed with her. That was
before Declan’s recent stunt, but now I wasn’t so sure. Recently I
had been thinking about what Maggie had said and it made sense. We
all were so young so there was no rush to put all of our eggs in
one basket. Smiling, I thought how I had always loved that analogy,
for some odd reason my grandma, whom I missed dearly used to use
the phrase quite often.

In reality I was happy for Taya, but didn’t
want her to think otherwise so I quickly said, “I am so happy for
you, guys I really am.” Regardless of whether or not they were
destined to be together forever they were happy right now and maybe
I needed to start living in the right now and stop trying to plan
my whole entire future out.

“I am sorry to hear about Declan,” Taya
announced, “You know he has been at Eirnans everyday crying, he is
so distraught without you Mina.”

‘Really,’ I thought, feeling bad for him. I
still loved him, part of me even wanted to still be with him but I
still hadn’t made my mind up and at the moment I just wanted to get
through today before I made a choice. “It’s sad for me to hear he
is having a hard time,” I assured her, although I didn’t quite feel
the emotions. I really wanted to say something, like he should feel
bad, he cheated on me! But I knew that she was his friend too and
it always sucked being caught up in the middle of a feud between
friends so I left it at that and went back to listening to her gush
about Eirnan.

“I think he is going to ask me to marry
him,” she said, catching me off guard.

“Wow! That is so fast,” I said, trying not
to sound the way I felt.

“Why, what is wrong?” she asked perhaps
sensing that I was troubled by the news.

“I just don’t want to see either of you get
hurt. I mean, I thought Declan and I were meant to be together but
he isn’t the man I thought he was,” I declared, “Are you sure you
know Eirnan well enough?”

Suddenly Taya stood up and walking half way
to the door she turned to me stating, “You know, maybe if you
weren’t always so quick to assume things will fail, you and Declan
wouldn’t be having the problems you are having now! I love Eirnan
and he loves me. I believe in soul mates, and he is mine. Now, you
are my friend and are supposed to say congratulations, not I am
‘not sure that things will work out.’ Just because you messed up
your relationship doesn’t mean you are going to mess up mine,” and
on that note she stormed out.

Hell, I had never meant to make her so angry
with me perhaps I was better off alone today so I let her walk out.
I wanted nothing more than to call out and defend myself about how
I was not the one who had ruined my relationship. I didn’t go off
and kiss someone else. But I didn’t as I don’t think she would have
listened to me.

Apparently today was proving to be a
disaster so I decided it might be better if I locked myself away in
my safe place to wait the day away. What was the point of trying to
talk to people when they were all convinced I was so horrible? I
was frustrated by it all so I spent the next few hours rolling
around my bed, trying to get comfortable. I wanted nothing more
than for all this to be over with. What a bad day; I had made my
best friend here angry at me and I was now sitting alone, waiting
for the night to come which only made it a much longer wait than it
maybe should be.

Having managed to successfully pass three
hours, I was relieved when Maggie came in and told me dinner was
ready. I wasn’t going to dress up for dinner regardless of those
people who might be there who might have something to say about me.
They could be shocked as I joined our guests dressed in my jeans
and t-shirt. If anyone said anything then I would tell them that
today was my day so they could shut up; thankfully no one did.

We all sat eating our meals quietly,
although every once in a while someone would make polite chit chat
but regardless it was actually a nice evening. I found myself
enjoying being surrounded by people who weren’t constantly telling
me their expectations. At the end of the meal everyone excused
themselves and headed out to the site of the ceremony which was
near the new cabin they had built. They would gather around the
large fire pit the same as they had at Declan’s animal
ceremony.

Going upstairs I slipped into the white
gown, asking Lorcan as he passed the room, to come in and zip the
dress up. He stood behind me, pressing his warm hand on my cool
back before pulling the fabric together to zip it up. I felt as
much as I sensed his eyes on my bare skin and the familiar cold
chills returned. “I am so nervous,” I said turning to him, as he
pulled me into a light hug. His strong arms wrapped around me like
a safety blanket shielding me from the world around us.

“Everything will be alright Banphrionsa,” he
told me. Strangely I had started to like it when he called me that
as it was his own way of calling me princess.

“Mina,” he started before pulling away from
our tangled embrace but resting his arms on my wrists, “My mother
used to say “Nach bhfuil a todhchaí a leagtar, níl aon cinniúint,
ach cad a dhéanann muid dúinn féin.” It means, "the future is not
set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves.” Remember,
regardless of what happens tonight, you control the outcome; we are
given free will for a reason. I also want you to know that no
matter what happens tonight I will be a part of that future as your
protector and your friend.”

The saying was meaningful and I liked it,
and the fact that he had said he would be my friend really got to
me. “What happened to ‘you couldn’t be friends with me and protect
me too?” I teased him.

Laughing he responded, “I had a change of
heart, you look as if you could use a friend.”

I hugged him once more, wanting to tell him
it was the best gift anyone could have given me tonight but my
mother suddenly yelled from the foyer that it was time to go.
Holding out his arm he placed mine through it, “Shall we go?” he
asked. And then I knew I wasn’t alone, and that gave me
strength.

We walked as a family to the ceremony site.
Liam and Eleanor, my adoring parents leading the way, my sister and
someone I had grown to consider as my brother, Knoll walking behind
us. I say us because Lorcan’s arm was still linked through mine.
Somehow it felt complete having him with me, and regardless if we
just stayed friends or not , I would feel that way. I had no doubt
in my mind he was meant to be my guardian. He gave me strength and
that was something no one before him had done.

As we approached I felt the heat from the
large fire. There was the sound of several people talking and
laughing as they stood around the fire but when they caught sight
of us they all grew silent. This was it I told myself as Lorcan let
go of my arm and as my father took my hand we stepped inside of the
circle.

“Thank you all for coming here tonight! I am
so blessed to be standing here with my beautiful daughter who has
grown into a remarkable young woman. I couldn’t be more proud of
her.” As he paused I felt a tear begin to roll down my cheek.
Whilst it was something for him to tell me this in the comfort of
our own home, it was certainly something more to announce his pride
in me for the whole village to hear and to me that was amazing.

My mother joined us and stood on the side
opposite of my father. “We are both proud of her,” she said,
laughing lightly as everyone joined in. She always knew how to
handle a crowd. “We all know that tonight holds an importance
unlike any other animal changing ceremony. We are also gathered
here tonight to witness the next Queen’s ceremony!” It felt so
empowering having her there with me, and with her voice roaring
over the fire, I felt as if in this moment I could be queen
someday.

“Let the ceremony begin,” my father
announced and they both left me standing in the circle alone, until
Willow joined me. I hadn’t talked to her in what felt like days,
she was another person who was responsible for the strength I felt.
In a way she was like a grandmother to me.

As I thought back to Declan’s ceremony I
remembered that he had worn a robe for his transition so I hoped
that wearing a silk dress wasn’t going to end in embarrassment for
me. My thoughts were disrupted as I heard someone joining Willow
and knew from Declan’s ceremony it must be Maggie. I felt comfort
in my sister being a part of this. Placing her hand on my arm
Maggie called out, “I know that a parent usually stands here but
our parents have asked me to do the honors.” Taking a breath she
began, “Carmina,” she called out, “Do you accept the Pacu’s way of
life? Do you swear to never to use your animal to hurt another,
unless it is between life and death?”