Vengeance (Oak Grove Suspense Book 1) (5 page)

I can’t blame Todd for wanting to be with his kid, but he certainly could have told me a lot sooner. Cheating is cheating even if, technically, he was cheating on her with me. The whole mess is ridiculous. I’m distracted when Ryan squeezes my knee.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. He’s a moron.”

Smiling, I say, “I know he is. His other wife knows all about me. I’m trying hard not to be bitter, but it’s difficult.”

“I don’t doubt it. I think you’re handling it well.”

“Yeah, now, but the day I found out, I sent Dylan to his friend’s house. I then burned everything that was Todd’s and a few things he’d bought me, including our wedding pictures.”

“Good. You should have an outlet.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m over it, but it did help.” I giggle, thinking about the pyre I had in my back yard. The neighbor called the city on me.

“What’d you do with my stuff when I left?” he asks cautiously.

I frown, staring down into my almost empty coffee. “You really want to know?” He nods. “Okay, but don’t think less of me.”

“Never.”

Sighing, I shift on the couch so I can see him better. “At first, I kept everything. I cried for days. I only had two pictures of us and a few things you’d bought me. I kept them on my person. I stared at your picture for hours, sobbing. I’ve never felt so alone in my life, even when I lost my parents.”

His face is pained, and rightfully so. I’m not so vindictive that I want him to hurt, but I do want him to realize how hard his leaving was and how it affected me. He turns away from me and rests his head on the back of the sofa with his eyes closed. I continue, and even though my eyes tear up, I hold it together. This is the past, I’ve moved on. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 

“You know before you left I’d been moved to the final group home. I kept everything with me, of course, but I was taken from the group home the day I came to the Thorns, without being allowed to get my stuff. They said they’d send it to me, but I only had one picture with me and the necklace you’d given me for my birthday the year before my parents died. I never took it off. Eventually, the picture was ruined. So, I had nothing left other than the locket you bought me. I kept it on, until I married Todd.”

I never told Todd the significance of the locket. It felt too personal, even to share with my husband. We sit in silence for several long moments before he abruptly sits up and pulls me into his arms.

“I’m so sorry. You’ll never know how much I hate myself for what I did to you.”

He hugs me tightly, kissing my head, face, and eventually making his way to my lips. His kiss starts out slow and soft but ends in deep passionate kisses that leave us both breathless. He sits back, letting me go as he scrubs his face.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbles.

“I didn’t push you away.” I probably should have. I’m not ready for a relationship right now, especially with Ryan. There’s still too much to talk about between us, but this pull I feel to him is so unreal. I’m not sure how long I can keep my feelings at bay.

He grabs my hands. “I won’t leave you again. I swear.”

I want to believe him, I really do, however, my faith in men right now is at an all-time low. “I don’t know if I’m ready for an exclusive relationship right now. Besides, what about the English teacher?”

He looks confused for a moment, then recognition lights his eyes. “That’s Lydia. We dated for a few months last school year. I broke up with her, she’s too clingy. I couldn’t handle a relationship at that time anyway. My mind was wrapped up with you and Dylan, and honestly we didn’t really get along very well. It wouldn’t have worked. What you saw today was her trying to get me back and me completely refusing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally. Shay, you’re who I’ve always wanted.” He leans in to kiss me again, but this time I pull back before he can. He nods in understanding.

“Why do I always walk in when you’re sucking face?” Dylan grumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“We didn’t … I mean weren’t,” Ryan blurts out.

I laugh. “Stop being a snoop. I thought you were in bed?”

“Oh, the kid’s in bed, so the parents get to make out?”

“Exactly,” Ryan says with a huge smile, recovering from his outburst with cockiness. Typical Ryan. I shove him, laughing. 

“Yuck,” Dylan gags.

I can’t help my smile. “What do you need, Dyl-pickle?”

He glares at me. “I told you not to use that name in front of anyone.”

“I didn’t. Parents don’t count. It’s our right.” I wink.

“Whatever. I have a headache and can’t sleep.”

I frown, standing, I grab a pin light and give him a brief scan, at which he huffs and grumbles. “I have oils in my purse. Use the one labeled migraine.” He nods and heads into the kitchen.

“Oils?” Ryan asks.

I nod. “Yeah, I know I’m a doctor, but I like natural remedies before medications. I don’t like pumping our bodies with synthetic, if natural will work. We use a lot of essential oils.”

“Oh, that makes sense, I guess. Will that help him?”

“It normally does. He only gets them when he’s stressed. All this mess has him on edge.”

Ryan runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t think I’m helping the situation either.”

“Don’t worry about me, Dad. I want Mom happy and I haven’t seen her as happy as she’s been the past couple of days in my whole life. It’s not you.” Dylan kisses my cheek, then heads back upstairs with his water and rollerball bottle of essential oils.

“If I’m hindering anything, I’ll give you both space, but I can’t stay away for long.”

I grab his face in my hands and stare into his eyes. “Please don’t leave. I can’t stand the thought of you giving us space.”

I feel the tears forming in my eyes. It is irrational, we haven’t seen each other in almost sixteen years, but I can’t fathom the thought of losing him again. All my feelings and desires rushed back into me the moment I laid eyes on him. Not to mention what Dylan would think if he gave us space. He’s been through so much lately.

“Oh, baby. I’m not leaving you guys. I meant what I said, I can’t stay away long, but if you need a couple of days to process, I’m willing to give them to you. We’ve been through a lot. I know we’ve talked a lot about what happened. I, for one, don’t blame you for any of it anymore. You were a scared little girl, believing a man who you called uncle most of your life. I believed him too. I shouldn’t have. I can’t hold any of this against you. I made poor choices and I listened to the wrong people.”

I shake my head and answer with an emphatic, “No! This isn’t all your fault. We both listened to people we shouldn’t have. We tried to protect each other. I’ve never blamed you. I blamed your dad, and yes, I hated you for a little bit, but like I said, that went out the window the moment I held our son in my arms.”

Irrational as it may be, for once I am going with my heart. I am going to see where this goes. Though, I’ll try to set a reasonable pace, my head and heart doesn’t always agree on what a reasonable pace is.

We talk until our eyes won’t stay open, getting out every hurt and fear we’ve had. We end up falling asleep together on the sofa. I wake to the sound of crunching. Slowly, I open one eye to see my son sitting on the coffee table facing me, a crunchy granola bar in his hand and smirk on his face.

“Morning,” he chirps. 

I rub my eyes and stare at him. “Morning. What are you doing?”

He shrugs. “Just eating breakfast.”

He waves his granola at me. Just then a loud grumble alerts me to the fact that I’m not alone on the couch and I am, in fact, lying on Ryan’s lap. I sit up quickly. Dylan chuckles and gives me an all too familiar smirk. Snorting a laugh, I grab a throw pillow and smack him with it.

“You know who you remind me of right now?”

“Who?” Dylan asks, still chomping away.

“Your father.” Dylan’s smile widens.

Ryan wakes up abruptly with my movement, shakes his head with said smirk on his face. “Looking in a mirror, I tell ya.” 

“Really?” Dylan asks.

Ryan nods as he readjusts himself to sit up better on the couch. “Yeah, you could be my twin. I’ll find some pictures for you.”

“That’d be cool. You think your parents would want to meet me?” he asks, making him seem so much younger than his short fifteen years.

Running a hand through his hair, Ryan says, “Of course. It’s just my mom now, but she’d love to meet you. So would your aunt and uncles.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. I’ll set something up for this weekend. Maybe Sunday. Do you have to work?” he asks me.

“No, I don’t actually start until a week from Monday. I’m on days, and then on call twice a week,” I explain.

“Oh, that’s awesome. I thought you’d be gone a lot.” He gives me a wink.

“She’s always worked that schedule since I was little,” Dylan explains.

“Speaking of schedules, what time is it?” I ask, looking around for my phone.

Dylan pulls his out of his pocket. “Seven-thirty. I have to leave in about an hour for football.”

“I have to be at work soon,” Ryan says, standing.

I look up at him, not wanting him to leave yet. I know it’s ridiculous, but it’s been so nice reconnecting.

“Can you stay for breakfast?”

“Yeah, you need help?”

“No, I’ll handle it.”

“Do I have time to run home and shower really quick?” he asks as we walk into the kitchen.

I nod. “Yeah, I’m going to put bacon in the oven then run for a quick shower myself.”

“Perfect. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” He gives me a quick kiss to the cheek then runs out the side door to the neighboring house.

“You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

I turn to my son. “I’ve always loved him. He gave me you.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never seen you look at a guy like you look at him. Even with Todd.” He’s way too perceptive for a fifteen year old.

I don’t say anything as I set the oven and place the tray of bacon inside. “I love your dad. I don’t know if we’ll start a relationship or not. We shouldn’t have kissed and I’m sorry you saw that. More than anything, I don’t want you to be hurt again. I know he’s your dad, but my first priority is always you.”

“Sometimes it’s okay to make yourself happy, Mom.”

He kisses my cheek before heading to the den to watch T.V. I wipe the tears from my eyes, caused by my ever so sweet little boy.

Shayla

After a super-fast shower, I blow dry the front and top of my hair and let the rest air-dry. I grab a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a pair of Chuck Taylor's, and then head down to the kitchen. I’m just cracking an egg into the skillet when Ryan enters the back door. I can’t help but stare. He’s wearing dark jeans, a white dress shirt with a skinny black tie, and a black leather jacket. He looks … badass, for lack of a better word. Well, hot…he looks hot. He knows he’s getting to me, because the smirk on his face is absolutely ridiculous. It’s the one his son had donned less than an hour before.

“You look beautiful,” he says, kissing my cheek.

“Thanks. You clean up well. You look … good.”

He laughs and wipes the side of my mouth, like there’s really drool there. “Yeah, I can tell you like how I look.”

I swat him with a kitchen towel. “Conceited much?”

He shrugs as he grabs an apple, taking a huge bite. “Nah, I’m just confident.”

“If you say so, Mr. Detective.”

We chat and tease a little more before Dylan enters the kitchen and takes a seat on the window bench at the table. I pass him a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Do you want cashew or almond milk?”

“Do we have chocolate cashew?”

“Yep.” I get him a glass.

“Cashew?” Ryan asks.

I chuckle. He has a lot to learn about my healthy ways. “Yeah, we still drink whole milk, but only on occasion, and if it’s organic and minimally processed.”

“You’re a hippie in disguise, aren’t you?” Ryan laughs.

“Naturalist, actually.” I wink.

He guffaws. “Whatever, weirdo.” I roll my eyes at him as I place his food down in front of him. He digs in. “What’re your plans for today?”

“Unpacking, and taking Dyl to football,” I tell him, sitting down with my own plate of food.

“I’ll drop him off. It’s on my way. I can probably pick him up today too. My schedule is pretty flexible.”

“Okay, that would help. I need to run a few errands, so that will make it easier for me.”

Ryan winks. “That’s what I’m here for, babe.” I smile as I shake my head at him.

“I thought you helped coach?” Dylan asks.

Ryan wipes his mouth then says, “Yeah, I do. But mostly as a fill in at games. I will probably pop by at some point.”

“Cool.”

“When are you off? I’ll cook dinner,” I ask. 

Ryan pulls out his phone and then says, “I should be done around five, unless I get a case. It’s pretty slow around here. I’m the only detective, but a lot of times I fill other roles. Sometimes I help out neighboring precincts.”

“Why do they have a detective if they don’t need one?” Dylan asks.

Ryan holds up a finger to indicate to wait while he chews. “Normally, they just use uniformed cops, they serve both roles, but I’m actually just waiting for the chief to retire. I’m taking over when he’s done. I kind of just do my own thing. I fill in a lot for the chief. He has two more months before he can retire. He’s not in the best of health.”

“So why not just retire early?” I ask.

“Stubbornness.” Ryan chuckles. “You want to meet for lunch?”

“Sure.” I hand Dylan his water bottle and kiss his cheek goodbye.

“I’ll be in the car so you can be gross,” Dylan says as he walks out the side door to Ryan’s house.

“Gross is fun,” Ryan says, chuckling as he leans in for a kiss.

~*~

Later that morning, I’m finishing unpacking in the living room when there’s a knock at the front door. I open it with a smile on my face.

“Hey, Mama!”

She wraps me in one of her motherly hugs. She may not be the woman who gave birth to me, but Gail Thorn loves me like she did.

“How are you, sweet girl?”

“Good. Really good.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I brought baby boy a banana cake. I made it with your recipe so it’s nice and healthy.”

I chuckle. “Thanks, he’ll love it.” I take the cake into the kitchen. “When will Pop be home?”

“Oh, they should be back tomorrow.”

I shake my head, laughing. His fishing trips are more about drinking beer and gossiping than about the fish.

“Where are you headed today?” I ask.

“Crochet circle at church.”

“You mean gossip circle. Make sure they don’t gossip about me,” I tell her. I’m only half kidding.

“You know they will, but it will only be good things. How are Dylan and Ryan getting along?” she asks as she sits down on the sofa.

“Great. They are so much alike it’s scary. It makes me feel even worse about keeping them apart for so long.”

“It couldn’t be helped. You tried.”

“I know, but I should’ve just blurted it out on the phone or something.”

Gail rubs my arm soothingly. “You did everything you could. At least they have each other now.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“Everything happens for a reason, sweetheart. Don’t beat yourself up about the past, just try to move forward.” I nod in understanding. She is right, I know that. “I hate to run, but I need to be at the church in twenty minutes. This weekend, you guys should come over.”

“Ryan wants to take Dylan to meet his family.”

“Oh, well you do that. We’ll be seeing you guys a lot anyway.”

“Why don’t you come over Monday night?”

“How about you come to me. You’ve moved and unpacked, let mama take care of you. I really need to run.”

“Have fun gossiping. I’ll see you Monday.” I giggle.

She smiles. I love the twinkle in her eyes. She lives for the latest juicy gossip, but at the same time, I know if they bring me up in a negative light, she’ll be the first to put them in their places.

“You know I will. Dave Johnson was spotted with Helen Zhar. You know that will be the talk of the morning.”

“I’m sure it will be. Love you,” I tell her, still chuckling with her.

She kisses my cheek, returns my love, and then heads back to her neighboring house. I’m lost in the unpacking again when my phone rings. I smile when I see Ryan’s number. A few weeks ago, his number caused me panic. He was trying to reconcile the news of having an almost grown son and, as expected, he wasn’t handling it well. He definitely wasn’t happy with me then.

“Hey,” I say as I take a seat on my bed.

“Hey, you. How’s the unpacking?”

“Good. I finished the living room and kitchen. I started on the den, but got distracted by my bedroom.”

“Ah, bedrooms can do that.” His voice drops in tone. He might be sixteen years older, but it’s the same voice he used when we dated. It got me every time. Seems to be no different now. “But I wasn’t calling about bedroom activities, I was calling to see if you wanted to meet me for lunch? If you’re too busy, though, I understand.”

“I can do that. I have all week to finish. The movers really did most of it already, I don’t have a ton left.”

“Great. I’ll be there in ten. Is that enough time?”

“Yeah, as long as you don’t mind me wearing what I had on at breakfast.”

He chuckles. “Well, I would like to see you in less, but for lunch at the diner, it’s great.”

“Oh stop it! I’ll be ready, but I need to get off the phone.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

“The side door is open,” I tell him quickly, hoping he’s not disconnected.

“Not safe, babe.” I can see the scowl on his face in my mind. I smile.

“You’ll be here in less than ten. I’ll be fine.”

“I need a key.”

“Fine, we can stop by Hadley's.”

“Seriously?” He asks at my mention of the local hardware store.

“Yes! Your son lives here. You’ll need to have access.”

He hums. “Yeah, that’s why.”

I laugh. “Exactly why. He might accidentally lock himself out, and Maw and Pop may not be at home. Now, let me go so I can freshen up.”

“I like you sweaty and dirty.”

“Oh my God! I’m hanging up now.”

I hear his laughter as I end the call. My face warms with blush, but I shake it off. I don’t have time for fantasies right now. By the time I’m exiting my bedroom, he’s coming through the side door in the kitchen. He looks incredible. He’s lost his jacket as the weather has warmed, and rolled up his long sleeves, tattoos exposed, and others peeking from under his sleeve. His hair is more tousled than this morning, like he’s been a little stressed through the day and had his hands in it often.

“See something you like?” He asks, noticing my stare. He flexes his muscles.

“You said that earlier. I think you’re a touch conceited.” I can’t help the grin that spreads on my face. I run my hands up his tattooed arms until they wrap around his neck. “You’ve aged well. You were hot in high school, all the girls thought so, but now you’re just so much more. I can’t stop staring at you,” I answer, going with my heart instead of my head.

He smirks at me before leaning forward and pulling me tightly against him, taking my breath away with a searing kiss. Pulling back with a sigh, he rests his forehead to mine.

“We should go before something happens we’re not ready for.”

I nod, agreeing. “How can I feel this way after sixteen years, after everything we put each other through?”

He hugs me tightly. “I don’t know, but I feel it too. I was serious when I said I’d missed you through the years. I tried to move on, but in the few relationships I’ve had, I just couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“When you say things like that, it makes me incredibly sad. I feel so guilty.” I turn from him and grab my jacket and purse.

He runs his fingers down my arm to my hand and twines our fingers. “Don’t. I could have talked to you. I wanted to, but I let my dad get in my head. I had choices, but I let someone else make them, thinking it wouldn’t be my fault. It was wrong. I loved you with my whole being. I should have never let you go. I lost not only you, but my son too. I won’t make that mistake again.”

I blink away the tears building in my eyes and clear my throat. We don’t have the time we need for this conversation. “We should go. You have to be back to work soon.” He nods, tugs my hand, and leads me outside. “I didn’t know you had a squad car?”

“Loaner. Mine’s being serviced.” He opens the passenger door for me to get in.

“They don’t care if you have a civilian in your car?”

“Nah, but I could cuff you and make you sit in the back if you’d like.”

I guffaw. “Ah, no. I’ll be just fine up front.”

“Suit yourself.” He smirks. “Is the diner okay?” He asks as he buckles his seatbelt.

“Yeah, I haven’t been there since I’ve been back. Does Ray still run it?” I ask, thinking of the man who was in his early fifties when I moved away.

“No, his son, Ray Jr., took over. They use the same recipes. He worked there for a long time before. It hasn’t changed much. He has put a few new things on the menu though.”

“Sounds great.”

We hold hands and chat about Dylan on our way. It only takes about ten minutes to arrive. He kisses the back of the hand he’s holding before telling me to stay put while he gets my door. He has always opened my door. When I was young I thought it was silly, but now I think he’s incredibly romantic. Gentlemen are hard to find nowadays. It’s another thing about him that our son has missed out on. Guilt flares once more. He helps me out of the car and leads me into the diner with his hand on the small of my back.

The diner is exactly like I remember. Red and white décor, pictures of the greats through time scattered all over the walls, an old juke box in the corner as before, but also a new version alongside the older one. There are touches of new, but mostly it’s remained the same. It’s comforting.

“Hey there, detective. Usual?” A very endowed blonde girl asks as she pours another customer’s coffee.

“Yeah, but she’ll need a menu.”

The woman then notices me. Her eyes travel down to our joined hands and scowls.
I guess Ryan still has a fan club
. He motions for me to sit in a booth then slides in beside me. He lays his arm on the back of the bench and turns towards me.

“This okay?”

“Yeah. I take it you come here a lot.”

He smiles cockily. “Yeah. You jealous of Tracy?”

I roll my eyes. “No, but she’s clearly not happy about you holding my hand.”

“Nah, she’s harmless. We went out once, but she’s not my type.” I don’t know if I like knowing that he’s been with her. It makes me insanely uncomfortable, especially since she’s our waitress.

“What if she spits in my food? She looks like she’s trying to blow my head off with her mind,” I whisper as I look at Tracy, who's shooting daggers my way.

“I didn’t sleep with her. We went on one date, to the movie in the park. She spent most of that time talking to the guy beside us, who she went home with later that night.”