Violet Path (27 page)

I was ashamed and embarrassed and avoided his eyes. He grabbed my hand. “Don’t be afraid. We’ll swim to the lake’s floor, and you will see that it is harmless.” I nodded. I was determined to do this, to conquer a fear with him.

We dove back down, and my first breath of water was actually refreshing. I didn’t feel afraid as my eyes adjusted. I knew Maxime wouldn’t put me in harm’s way.

The deeper we swam, the darker it became. I held Maxime’s hand tightly, not wanting him to leave my side. He stopped, and I could barely make out his silhouette. He ran his hand along my fingers, looking for something. He found my anti-gravity ring, turned it on, and everything became clear. Even he glowed. We kept swimming until we reached the lake’s floor.

The bottom of the lake was made up of huge rocks that covered the whole ground like an infestation, but they were beautiful. They curved in every way possible with every edge as sharp as a butcher’s knife. They created shadows, reflecting my ring’s light. Maxime smiled again and pointed upward. We swam toward the shore.

“So what do you think?” Maxime’s radiant smile lit the world for me.

“It’s amazing!” I honestly couldn’t find the right words.

“But dangerous. You do not want to touch those rocks. If anyone were to fall in and hit them, they would be dead. Just be careful.” He took my hand and turned off my ring. The moon shone on his face, making him look like a spirit. His face was so close, I could feel his breath. I closed my eyes as my heart raced. His curls skimmed my forehead as his soft hands moved to my waist. It was the moment I had been waiting for, dreaming of, the kiss I so desired . . .

His wet lips touched my ear. “You’re too innocent.” He backed away.

My heart dropped. “Innocent?” I repeated confused.

“Yes.” Maxime’s voice turned playful and a huge grin spread on his face.

“And how—”

My question was cut off as he quickly picked me up and threw me back into the water. He swam over to me. I sprayed him with a small wave, and we laughed, splashing each other with water. We dove under, trying to escape each other’s grasp. I whirled around, but I couldn’t see him anymore. Then something grabbed me from behind, and I stupidly elbowed Maxime in the stomach. He was bent over when I turned around.

“I’m so sorry!” I felt terrible, but he was laughing.

“You’re sorry? Remind me never to sneak up on you ever again. It never ends well for me.”

Suddenly, we heard something in the distance—a hover-board’s hum surfing the lake, coming toward us.

“Andrew?” a familiar voice called out. We were in trouble. “Alex?” David said, his voice laced with rage. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything,” Maxime said casually.

David glared at his brother. “Out! Now!” he ordered and headed toward the shore. Maxime and I stayed still for a moment longer with heavy hearts.

“I’m sorry,” Maxime’s voice was drowned with regret.

We swam to meet David against our will. As soon as we stepped onto the ground, David scolded us.“What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what time it is?” His voice was worse than a gunshot. I was ordered to change in my cabin and then go to Maxime’s.

“Why?” Maxime protested.

“Because neither of you seem to think before you act!”

“What does that have to do with her?”

“Him!” David corrected. Maxime tried to speak, but David wasn’t allowing it. “Get out and get dressed!”

I reached over and grabbed the towel, then stepped from the lake. The cold air bit at my exposed skin and the frozen ground burned my feet. I grabbed my pile of clothing and ran a few feet to hide behind a tree. As I quickly dressed, my teeth chattered and my body wouldn’t stop shivering. Two body-warmers weren’t enough to protect me from the winter. My wet hair dripped onto my back like balls of ice. I peeked my head around to better listen to their conversation.

“And what if someone else had seen or heard you? Did you think of that?” David barked.

“Then we wouldn’t be disputing this stupid subject!” Maxime answered.

“You’re right, ’cause Alex would probably be hung!”

“Don’t say that!”

“Why not? You actually think she can stay here?”

“She doesn’t have another option at the moment.”

“Maria is one step up the ladder.”

“No. Then everyone would know who she is!”

“And you getting her pregnant wouldn’t give her gender away?”

“What?” Maxime screamed. “Do you hear what you’re saying?”

“Do you think before you act? What were you doing in the lake?”

“Swimming.”

“She was shirtless!”

“And you swim with a shirt on?”

“I’m a man! She’s not.”

“You keep saying that she needs to act like one.”

“She should, but tonight went too far.”

“Maybe so, but I don’t regret it.”

“Well, you should! May I remind you that you were about to kill her a couple of hours ago?”

“But I didn’t!”

“So this is all just a game to you? Do you think you can rebel against the program by spending time with her? And in doing so, you’re preparing yourself against Matthew? You know you can’t kill him! Look at your hand; he made that clear.”

“I threw a dagger at him!”

“When?”

“Never mind.”

“Maxime!”

“What you do want from me? No matter what I do, you’re always mad at me! What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”

“Your job!”

“And what’s that? We both know that I am no good at it.”

“Come on . . . you know very well that no one could take your place.”

“You could. Why don’t you? Or Sam, Nick, Paul, Maurice, or Jake?”

“Listen to yourself! No one could replace you!”

“Maybe I should turn myself in to Matthew.”

“Are you out of your mind? That’s suicide!”

“One death for many.”

“You’re the one keeping Matthew from destroying everything.”

“I’m the cause.”

I had heard enough.“You can’t!” I screamed.

David and Maxime stood shocked, as if they’d forgotten that I was there. But I had overheard, and there was no turning back.

I took a step forward. “Look, Matthew is mad because I refused to lead his army. If anyone should be turned in, it should be me. I could lead the army to mutiny.”

Maxime ran up to me, terror in his eyes. “You’re too innocent. You don’t understand what’s going on,” he told me sweetly. “I’m sorry.”

As I stood there in the bitter cold, I realized that this . . . all of this . . . was way bigger than I had ever imagined. There was an entire other side to the War I didn’t know about. I hadn’t known about the programing of people as a form of weaponry, and I couldn’t even guess how Maxime knew so much about Tamizeh. It was all a huge puzzle, and I was only a piece of it.

Chapter 24

Maxime’s birthday.

The morning passed, and I didn’t see him. He was absent from lunch, and by the time dinner rolled around, I’d realized that I wouldn’t see him today. But I understood.

As the days passed, snow covered the ground and the lake started to freeze. We kept our hover-boards off and used them to snowboard as the flakes accumulated under our cold feet. I worried for Maxime because I would find his foot imprints in front of my cabin almost every morning. He would sit on the cold snow for hours. If his prints were absent, David’s would appear beneath the tree across from my cabin. They were my guardians.

Showering wasn’t too big of a problem, because I showered alone when everyone slept. That was the only time I really spent with Maxime, but we barely talked.

As the days passed, Maxime and I talked more, and then we talked so much it was as if nothing had happened. I was surprised we hadn’t run out of topics to discuss. Although sparring with him became rarer, he taught me more than I could have ever imagined. His eyes were almost always blue, and I avoided topics that would darken them. I still craved his warmth, wishing to taste his lips.

Finally, Christmas was near. We were going to have a feast on Christmas Eve, huddled around the campfire, and then we were going to Maria on Christmas Day. I was excited. I had been in The Shadows for almost eight months, and it would be good to visit another city. All of the soldiers were supposed to wear black suits, and some of the soldiers had traveled to Maria beforehand to pick theirs up.

There was going to be a dance. All of the soldiers would escort a girl around the campfire and dance. I was not looking forward to it. It was hard enough trying to pretend to be a boy, but now I had to dance with a girl. I wasn’t the strongest dancer, but I was more concerned that someone would figure out my identity, that I would be called out as a fraud. Girls had different intuitions, and I worried that a girl would be able to spot me for who I was.

As the feast drew nearer, rumors started to spread and stories were shared. I had heard more than once that David spent all of his time with Megan, and that Maxime only danced with one girl, Anais. Anais sounded flawless. She was nineteen and had dark, blonde, wavy hair and hazel eyes with a dash of emerald that opened to a tempest to contrast her flowering smile. I had been told numerous times how her figure was perfect and her bone structure sublime. She was the perfect match for Maxime, but I couldn’t stand hearing how they would dance all night together. I was jealous and felt guilt for not wanting him to be happy with her.

“Alex, you’ll be picking up your black uniform tomorrow,” David told me on my way to breakfast one morning.

David called our attention, “As you are all aware, Christmas is drawing near.” There was a long pause before he continued. “If you do not have a black, formal suit, please raise your hand. This includes those who have one, but need a new one.”

I raised my hand and glanced around. I had expected more, but we were only fifty.

“If your hand is still raised, you will be going to Maria tomorrow to get your uniforms. You will leave immediately after breakfast, cross the lake by hover-board, and return for dinner. Lunch will be provided for you at Maria. Thank you.”

I was excited. I was finally going to see Maria. I had heard so much about it that it sounded like a dream, with heated buildings and real furniture, with true technology and families who had jobs and ate a variety of foods. There were women and girls of all ages, and a woman, Charlotte, who was always aware of the latest fashion. Although I had never cared for fitting in the feminine world, I longed to at least live in it for some time. My expectations were high despite my fear.

The rest of the day seemed to go by slowly. Classes were over, and Maxime was keeping his distance, but I wanted to fight. I needed to feel something from him, even if it was only in combat.

I threw him a sword as he walked by, and he caught it.

“Why are you throwing this at me?” Maxime questioned.

“We’ve never really sparred with swords.” I smiled, hoping to convince him.

“There’s a reason for that.”

“And what’s that?”

He was standing close to me—my face by his heart, his lips by my ear. “I can easily kill you with my bare hands. Why do you tempt me with a sharp, clean blade?” he whispered. His words were like a poisonous strawberry.

“You wouldn’t.” I was faithful to him, completely and blindly. I wasn’t afraid of him.

“You don’t know that. You trust me too much.”

“You don’t trust yourself enough.”

“The risk it too great.” He stepped back. His eyes were a navy blue.

“How so?”

“You’re too innocent. Just . . . be careful.”

“You at least need to give me a valid excuse.”

He hesitated and looked around. “Because your life is more valuable than any other, and I cannot be the one to take it.”

“My life is like any other’s. Come on, we’re sparring,” I laughed, but his expression was dead serious.

“Wrong! If everyone in The Shadows had to die in order to save you, including myself, no matter how hard it would be, I wouldn’t think twice and bring our surroundings to dust.” He was starting to scare me, but I refused to believe that he was a killer. “All life is insignificant without yours,” he continued.

I was so tired of these odd riddles. I wanted him to be straightforward and just answer the questions without diverting them. “Why?” I felt my ego expand. “Everyone wants me dead. I’m a threat.”

“Only when leading Matthew’s army. Otherwise, you are the last breath we have.”

“Stop talking in metaphors! I don’t understand any of this, and I don’t believe a word you’re saying! You’re making a game out of it!” I was fired up and ready to explode.

“You’re the only one who can kill Matthew. Is that simple enough?” Maxime muttered under his breath.

I remained silent. I didn’t know what he was talking about, that I was the only one who could kill Matthew.

“You don’t understand.”

“So explain. You’re obviously more prepared for the job.”

“On the contrary. With the program, wounding him is a miracle. I can’t face him; it goes against the program.” His eyes were almost black, but I kept pushing. I wanted answers.

“Then how does anyone expect me to succeed?”

“I don’t expect. I know you will.” His eyes lightened up a bit, as if a weight had been lifted.

We were silent for some time as I tried to come up with a way to continue the conversation without painting his irises black.

“Sparring with blades is out of the question,” Maxime stated bluntly.

I refused and lunged, forcing him into the fight. I was dragging him into this whether he wanted it or not.

“Alex, I just explained—”

“If what you say is true, then I shouldn’t even be here, because I spend all day sparring you anyway.” I darted forward again. He pushed me back. “Do you trust me?” I asked with a gap in my heart, hoping he would fill it with the right answer to keep me from falling apart.

“I guess.” He didn’t seem too sure of his words.

I attacked again. “Please? The practice can only help me prepare for Matthew . . . if what you say is true.”

“I’m going to regret this,” he said, then lunged with his blade almost skinning my knee, but I blocked it.