Violet Path (29 page)
“No, you don’t. You said it yourself that we choose what we become.”
“Not me. You’re too innocent to understand. Why do you have such dark thoughts?” He paused, then said, “Sam would like to see you as soon as possible. The breakfast bell will ring soon. You’ve been asleep for almost twenty hours.”
“What about you?” I didn’t want him to leave my side. I felt alive and protected, untouched when he was around, but he pulled every tangled emotion out of me.
“What about me?” His tone was pure irritation, and I was fully aware that he did not want to be questioned any further.
“Did you sleep?”
“If I answer that question, I’ll be lectured. You have been cleared to join your group today, but you need to be extremely vigilant. Promise?” Maxime said with a laugh.
“Promise to sleep? You need to rest and be careful as well. You can’t just tell me one thing and do the opposite. I may act differently than the average soldier, but I won’t change. I may have stupid questions, but promise me you’ll sleep.”
Maxime ran his hand along my face. “Your cabin is being cleaned, but it will take time. All of your belongings are here,” he said as he pointed to my clothes and hover-board neatly placed in a corner of the room. “Your suit is also here. I don’t want you doing anything stupid, so I took the liberty of assigning David as your extra guard. I know how much you appreciate that.” He ran his hand along my arm before getting up.
“Promise me you’ll sleep tonight,” I said.
He stood still, then said, “Don’t do as I do, just as I say.”
“So what? I’m another one of your pawns?” I was struggling to sit up.
“No. You were the king, but now you are the queen. The king may have the title, but it is she who has the power.”
“Why do you talk in metaphors? Just say what is on your mind.”
“You need to use your skill.”
“I can’t kill Matthew. I’m nothing compared to you.”
“Then stop comparing!”
“Why can’t you kill Matthew?”
“Because.”
“Because what?”
“Because he programmed me! I cannot destroy the creator. It’s written in stone. It runs through my blood. It’s in my head. It’s a miracle that I threw a dagger at him. Why can’t you understand that?” he screamed.
I had driven him off the cliff. I diverted my stare, regretting having pushed him. Nothing made any sense. Matthew wanted me to lead his army, be his heir, not die by a resistance group’s leader. I was about to ask more questions, but Maxime cut me off.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a calmer tone. “I shouldn’t have said any of that. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Just be careful. I’ll get Sam; he wanted to speak to you.”
Maxime ran off before I could try to apologize. Tears ran down my face, peeling away the layers I had allowed to form to protect me from Matthew’s words and actions. I kept hurting Maxime and tearing us apart. He was all I wanted, and I kept throwing him away. I closed my eyes and let every piece of me fall to the floor.
I could hear Maxime and Sam speaking as they approached the cabin door. Sam walked in carrying shoes. “I brought you new boots because you lost yours. I put the dagger in a pocket that I made in your left boot, as you’re left-handed. Don’t object; I want you to have it, and I won’t take it back. You earned it. Just be careful when using it.” Sam placed them by my bed.
I wanted to hold his hand to be sure that he was truly all right. He was lifeless the last time I had seen him, and I could hardly believe that it was the same man standing in front of me.
“Alex, I want to be very clear when I say this, so please don’t interrupt.” He started to pace around the room. “I am forever grateful for what you did, but never do it again. You shouldn’t put yourself in such danger. You could have drowned. You could have been imprisoned under the ice. Thank you, but please consider your safety first. I am in your debt and ignorant of how to repay you, so please do not add to the tab. I ask for nothing; therefore, please refrain from giving favors. Your life is valuable, and although I could lose my life when you’re around, you should never give up yours. You’re at a war camp, and I am terribly sorry, but you are surrounded by death. You need to learn when and how to react. I do not mean to be ungrateful, on the contrary, I am incredibly so, but I am pleading for you to be more careful.”
Sam then left the cabin. I couldn’t believe what he’d said. He had knocked the air out of me. I didn’t understand what wrong I had committed. Regardless, I would do anything in my power to protect him when needed.
I ripped the tape off of my elbow and pulled the needle out. Gauze and wound dressing shrouded me. I ran to get my clothes, thankful that every step was painless, although my core was being torn to shreds. I could hear Maxime and Sam speaking as I dressed, which only made me hurry more.
“How long?” Sam questioned in a dark tone.
“I wish longer. I’m willing to bet that Alex is getting dressed as we speak.”
“But the IV?”
“I doubt it’ll stay in for long. Alex is . . .”
I stepped outside; they stared at me, speechless.“I’m what?” I asked, smiling.
“Nothing,” Maxime said.
“I’ll see you soon, Alex. Take care,” Sam said, then left.
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Maxime lightly teased.
“You shouldn’t speak of others during their absence.”
“You were present as you so politely showed.”
The breakfast bell awakened my hunger. We headed toward the tables. I had much to be happy about—Sam was alive and Maxime’s eyes were very blue.
Christmas was approaching, and everyone seemed in high spirits, even David. Everyone kept saying that it was because he couldn’t wait to see Megan again. After all David and I had been through, it was refreshing to see him smile.
According to Maxime, my black suit fit perfectly, but it felt weird. It was all black except for a silver embroidered “A” on the collar signifying that it was mine. Although it was comfortable and didn’t look too bad, Anton had said that I looked like I had stolen my father’s tux.
Everyone seemed to be getting along very well and that lightened my heart. Laughs filled the cold, black night, our smiles sparkling with the undulating flames swaying around us.
But despite the happiness, I couldn’t help but feel a heaviness in the air. I needed answers.
“If Matthew programmed you, he wants me dead, right?” I asked Maxime on our walk after dinner. I couldn’t hold the burning questions inside of me any longer.
“Yes and no,” he sighed, holding his shirt in his hands. “He wanted you dead, but not anymore. Don’t think about it.”
“How and when did he program you? What happened exactly? You said that others want me dead because he wants me alive, but then there’s you. It doesn’t make sense.” I looked away, afraid of his reaction.
Maxime lifted my chin with his left hand, still wrapped in black cloth. I could feel his eyes excavating my heart.
“There is a time for everything, and I promise to explain everything when the time comes, but until then do not torment yourself by dwelling on such dark stories.”
I looked through his eyes as though I were looking for something inside of him, but didn’t know what to expect or find. He pulled me against his chest, and I pressed my ear against his heart as his arms wrapped around me. I was in heaven, locked in his embrace.
“You’re too innocent,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes.
Days passed like the cold winter air. They were harsh and gnawed at our fingertips. Soon enough, Christmas Eve came, and the spirit was in the atmosphere, frozen in time, in warm hearts. Thick layers of snow accumulated every night while the days remained dry and stiffly still. The sky seemed to blend into the horizon veiled with snowflakes flittering in the wind.
We were going to have a feast and celebrate. The groups showered early before dinner, while Maxime and I talked. It was dark, but the fire was strong and kept us warm. The long tables seemed endless, covered with food and drinks of every kind. We all sat down cheerfully and ate, drank, and laughed with the golden flames dancing on our skin.
As everyone kept the excitement going, I sat in silence until Maxime pulled my hand.“I want to show you something,” he said as he dragged me away from the crowd.
I followed him to the lake. The full moon lit the frozen, marbled water. The ice sparkled in the silver light, and the few rays that passed the thick, hard layer allowed us to see the rocks beneath. We could see the fish swimming below, shimmering like chrome. I was in a fairy tale, standing on the ice above rocks and fish. I spun on the lake, allowing my heart to fly from the chained earth.
“Be careful; it’s slippery,” Maxime said.
“It’s a dream!” I exclaimed. I was standing by his side on the frozen lake, and I couldn’t ask for more.
“I thought you would like it,” he smiled sincerely. “Be careful not to slip.” He led me off the ice. I caught his arm as my feet flew out from under me, and I couldn’t tell which direction was up.
“See,” he teased, proud that he had been right.
“You jinxed it.” I laughed as he helped me step down.
“Come on, we shouldn’t stand on the ice.”
As I took another step, I tripped, and Maxime broke my fall. I landed on top of him and his back pressed against the wet, white world. His aroma swirled around us. I could feel his heart beating against mine, palpitating softly. His blue eyes were like a spell drawing me to him. This was it; there was no turning back—I closed my eyes, bent my elbows, and pressed my lips against his soft lips. His body tensed, as if struck by lightning, and I came back to my senses. I quickly jumped up and turned around; I couldn’t face him.
“I’m so sorry . . .” I could barely speak. I couldn’t love him. He was my leader, teacher, mentor, and assassin. I was supposed to be his soldier at the mercy of his orders. I had stolen that kiss from him and wasn’t even sure if it belonged to me. I started to walk away, having embarrassed myself more than ever. I wasn’t sure if I regretted stealing a kiss from him. I loved him, but I couldn’t look into his aquatic eyes again or find comfort in his arms without digging my own grave. He wouldn’t see me the same way anymore.
I felt him grasp my hand. My eyes filled with tears.
“Please turn around.” His melodic voice blurred the line between my dreams and reality. I just wanted to run away.
“Just say what you have to say,” I cried as I looked at the stars.
“Never to your back,” he responded quickly, but with care.
I slowly turned around, preparing myself for whatever was to follow.
He kissed me hard. His arms enveloped me as one hand gently caressed my neck. I drifted into another world. I absorbed the moment through every pore and nerve. His hand moved along my back, cradling me. He wiped away my tears with his loving hands. “Don’t cry.” He kissed me again, then held me in his arms, my ear pressed against his heart.
We headed back to the campfire in silence, but a part of my heart rested in Maxime’s hands. We sat by the fire to listen to the stories, but I wasn’t really listening. I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss. I looked over at Maxime, his blue eyes twinkling in the fire’s light. I smiled. Dreams really did come true.
Christmas. It finally came, and everyone was eagerly getting ready to go to Maria.
“Looking good, Alex,” Maxime said.
I had just finished showering and gotten dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. The black uniform fit very well, and I had to admit—I looked like a handsome boy.
I thanked him and walked outside to wait for Maxime, Sam, and Nick to get ready. When Maxime stepped out, I caught my breath. He looked like an angel. His hair was neatly combed, highlighting his angular facial features, from high cheekbones, to strong jawline and full lips. As he approached, my limbs went numb. I followed him into the forest to wait for the rest of The Shadows to get ready.
It had started to snow, and the flakes caught on his eyelashes. He suddenly grabbed me and pulled me close, his lips pressing against mine.
I almost wanted to cry from happiness, but then my heart leapt when his face suddenly smashed into mine. He had been hit in the back of his head with a snowball.
“David!” he called out.
“That’s my name,” David teased, but no one found it amusing.
“What do you want?” Maxime said as his eyes turned an emerald green.
“It’s not what I want; it’s what your men want. Forget what the girl wants for two minutes and lead The Shadows.”
“David, skip the act and get to the point.”
“All of your men are ready, waiting for your orders.” David’s tone changed from playful to frank as it bounced off the iced trees.
“But we’re leaving in an hour.” Maxime released me.
“But they’re ready.”
“Does everyone have a horse or hover-board ready?”
“Yes, that’s part of being ready.”
“Then tell them to get their armor. We’ll leave them at Maria overnight so everyone’s initials can be embroidered, like the suits.”
“Yes, sir,” David said sarcastically. “You have to give the orders.”