Waiting for Darkness (Blood Martyr) (4 page)

He flicked a glance in my direction be
fore holding out a hand for the bottle. It had been a while since we stood around, sharing wine, and it felt good. Actually, it made me feel a bit normal and that was a good feeling. I liked feeling normal.

“
Well, I’m not sure if he, she, or maybe
it
has actually killed anyone, but whoever it is, they’ve taken credit for killing Jonas.”

“
Jonas?”

“
Bedwyr. Jonas Bedwyr.”

I couldn
’t help but feel impressed. “That old relic? You’re kidding.”

Jamison glared at me, apparently upset at my lack of hysterics, wh
ich he should’ve known better than to expect. “You’re taking this incredibly well. Jonas was practically a walking boulder. If this hunter defeated and killed Jonas, then I’d say he or she has got more than a fighting chance with you.”

“
The only thing Jonas had going for him was his bulk,” I pointed out.

Jamison inclined his head in agreement. “
Yeah, I know. He might have been a slow motherfucker, but he was hard as nails, and I do mean that literally. While you….” He looked me up and down; it was obvious he thought I was seriously lacking in the body armor department. “Well, no comment.”

“
Thanks for the support, Jamison,” I said dryly and took a swig of wine. It wasn’t half as good as blood, but it wasn’t bad. “If this guy ever comes for me, I’ll be sure to rip his head off and send it to you in a box.”

“
I can’t believe how calmly you’re taking this.” He shook his head and his red tresses shimmered iridescently under the light as though someone had gone through his hair with a paintbrush dipped in melted rubies. “It wouldn’t hurt you to be just a little worried. No one’s going to start pointing fingers at you just because you decided to be cautious.”

Jamison
’s concern touched me and I loved him all the more for it, but sometimes, just sometimes, he made me feel like I was with my mother again.

“
That’s sweet. It really is, Jamison. But if this guy comes, fine. If he doesn’t, fine. Either way, I’ll be prepared for whatever thrown at me. Does that make you feel better?” I asked, trying to pacify him. I figured if I had lived this long, then I was probably going to live for a bit longer.

More the pity.

He tilted his head back to catch the last drop of wine before setting the bottle back on the counter. “A little bit.”

We stood in companionable silence, each o
ccupied with our own thoughts.

People say that as vampires grow older, we become cockier. That was definitely true. Jamison was worried, but I couldn
’t have cared less. If I fretted over every single hunter in Centennial, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else.

“
Well, it’s time for me to get back to work,” I said, genuinely sorry I had to go.

Next to me, Jamison discreetly hiccupped.

Hiccupped
.

Jamison. The person who never drank more than a thimbleful at any given time.

“Hey, wait, Tanith. I got something to say.” His gaze roved over me.

With a start, I realized that he was drunk.

Not just drunk. He was
smashed.

“
Jamison.” My voice came out a bit sharper than intended, but my nerves couldn’t take any more and with good cause. A drunk witch was as unpredictable as lottery numbers.

He slumped against the kitchen counter, eyes downcast. “
Never mind. You wouldn’t understand me.”

“
What the hell are you talking about?”

He shook his head. “
Whatever. Go. Go out and bring in some kid so that you can feed. You lost your meal for the night because of me, so I apologize.”

He bowed low and nearly fell over.

Drunk didn’t even begin to describe the state he was in.

As much as I wanted to help him, I couldn
’t do it. He was putting out male pheromones like there was no tomorrow, and I didn’t think I’d be able to keep my fangs in my mouth where they belonged. Drunks were always the best to drink from. They were so giving, so willing, so…sweet.

Liquor was the cherry on top of the proverbial ice cream sundae.

But Jamison was off limits.

I turned away from him. It didn
’t help much. I still smelled the redwood scent, still heard his beating heart.

Damn it.

“Jamison, you need to leave,” I said quietly, trying not to sound as though I wanted to drain him dry. And I
really
wanted to.

A vamp doesn
’t do that to their friends. They
can’t
do it.

Maybe it was one of the unspoken rules that are more felt than told, but once you start doing that, you
’re no longer…you. You become a monster.

And, despite my past, I no longer wanted t
o be a monster.

Not anymore.

“Why? I thought I’d stay until you brought your kiddie toy, maybe watch until you get tired of him, and then we can laugh about it,” he slurred.

“
Right, because that’s not creepy at all.”

I tried to get as far from him as I
could. Anything to stop hearing the way his heartbeat. Anything to stop imagining what his blood would taste like. Humans think all blood tastes the same, but they’re wrong.

“
In fact, I think I’m going to settle myself right here and nap while you go and snag your man candy,” he said.

I heard the barely audible crackle of new leather. He settled himself on my sofa, which meant he was not in any hurry to leave.

Fuck.

All I had to do was walk out, get my much-needed salvation at my club, and then spend the re
st of the night at a hotel. Tomorrow, everything would be okay. If I was lucky, he’d sleep this off and wake up not remembering a damn thing.

“
Yeah, you do that.” I turned away from the window and kept my gaze on the door as if it was a speck of light in a tunnel of eternal darkness. I walked toward it, making sure to never glance in Jamison’s direction. “I’m going to the club, so you just wait here until I get back, all right?”

Of course I had no intention of coming back until the next day, but he didn
’t need to know that, did he?

“
Wait.”

His hand darted out and wrapped around my wrist.

I almost swallowed my own tongue.

I stared straight ahead and tried to stay calm. “
You’re keeping me from my meal, Jamison. You better have a good reason for that.”

His fin
gers caressed the underside of my wrist.

Did he
know
what he was
doing
?

“
Stop that. Stop that right now,” I spat through clenched teeth.

“
Why?”

“
Because you’re drunk and not thinking clearly.”

I tried to shake him off but it was like trying to shake off a
strand of wet hair from an equally wet wrist. Damn near impossible.

“
Hmm. That’s funny.” He stood up, and I was forced to stare at my nose so my eyes wouldn’t focus on the object my body wanted the most.

“
What’s so funny?”

As long as I kept him talking,
everything was okay. In this case, words were better than actions.

“
Because, dear Tanith, for the first time in my life, I believe I
am
thinking clearly. I can’t remember the last time I felt so…illuminated.” He laughed and, at that moment, I thought it would be safe for me to finally look him in the eyes. But there was something far more serious than amusement in those bright orbs.

He had beautiful eyes. To give credit where it was due, he was exquisite everywhere, but it was the colors that made people s
tare as if they couldn’t believe their eyes.

His right eye was a very dark green. Most people thought it was black until he came into the light, and that
’s when jaws started dropping. His right eye would have caused quite a stir on its own, but his left one created even more of a sensation. The left eye was pale amber, a cross between dark yellow and light brown. Sometimes people called him Jewel Eyes, malachite as his right one, and amber as his left. The doctors said that the incredibly odd coloring was called
heterochromic irises
.

I just called them a miracle.

Beyond that, his facial structure and body build were just icing on the very spectacular cake that was Jamison Bell. He had the coloring only a few people could pull off; a sort of milky white with just a hint of gold that created a powerful contrast with his bright eyes. It wasn’t that he was colorless, because saying that was like saying Leonardo Da Vinci was just a painter. Some sort of light seemed to shine outward from his body; it gave his skin a luminance hard to ignore. With the wide shoulders and the incredibly narrow hips of professional runners, I was hard pressed to remember anyone more attractive.

His eyes drew me in, and I very nearly lost myself in their fathomless depths.

“What’s wrong, Tanith? Not feeling well? Perhaps you should have a bit of a lie-down. You know, I don’t feel so hot myself. How about if I lie down with you…?”

He took a step forward, casting me in his shadow. I
’m a little taller than average for a woman, five-seven, but he loomed over me by almost half a foot.

Had he always been this big, this
…overwhelming?

Jamison no longer seemed so harmless, and it scared me.

It was the fright, the insecurity that made my hands reach out for something, anything that could keep me upright. My hands finally encountered something. Not the suppleness of the leather sofa, but the warmth and strength of Jamison’s large hands.

“
Please. You need to leave, Jamison. You need to leave before…before I do something that we’ll both regret.”

Be
fore I did something that could never be repaired.

All of the muscles in my body jumped, strained against their bones. I wanted to press myself to him, but at the same time, I wanted to shove him away and run until this crippling need left me.

“What if I don’t want to leave?”

He pulled me so close that only a few inches separated us. Warmth radiated from his body. I could almost feel his blood coating my tongue, sliding down my throat like the best
’83 Riesling, feel the way it rolled down to my stomach and through my veins, warming me like fire.

But, he was my
friend
.

You don
’t drink your friend’s blood.

You can
’t drink your friend’s blood.

If only things were as simple as that.

CHAPTER FOUR

“If only love and lust could be so easily distinguished! But alas, they are not,

and most confuse one for the other. Poor, poor, poor Love. Bad, bad, bad Lust.”

“Let go,” I whispered, afraid of making any sudden movements. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

He leaned in close,
his malachite and amber eyes boring into me, looking into every black spot in my heart.

“
I’m only holding you,” he said. “So I’m not good enough for you, is that it? You’d rather fuck a complete stranger than someone who’s been around for you for the past five years? You tell me I’m beautiful, that there’s no one else like me. You say I can have any woman I want. So, why can’t I have you?” He jerked me close. “You lied, Tanith.”

“
I didn’t lie. Why would I lie about such things?”

I placed my hands on his
chest, tried to push away, but it was no use. My hands would not listen to my head’s commands. I could’ve rammed him through a wall, but I wanted him more than I thought possible.