Walking in the Shadows (29 page)

“She’s really strange.”

“I know, I was just telli
ng T—someone that the other day,
”
I slipped
,
and a blush washed over my face.

“His name starts with a T! I knew there was someone!”
Jaz
exclaimed
,
catching my mistake
.
Her
excitement calmed
when she saw the look of despair on my face. She put her hand over mine
.
“I know you love
him;
whoever he is…I promise I won’t say a word to anyone. It’s just nice to see you smile. Especially when such crappy stuff is happening and well, has happened to you. He must be special.”

“Thanks,
Jaz
. You’re a good
friend,
” I said
,
and I meant it
because I was starting to see she was.

There was still a lot Tad didn’t know about me. It was just so hard to explain everything that I had kept away from him
;
to explain things that he hadn’t been around for me to vent to him about. He didn’t seem mad though, in fact he seemed excited to get to know me better—even the darker
parts
. I was afraid that something he might learn would turn him away, yet it never did—no matter how vast the secret was.

“
I was wonderin
g how
you know
Kirsten
when you lived all the way in Norfolk
?”
Tad asked
as we drove to her house to give her a birthday present.

“
Kirsten
was my mom’s best friend in
college
,
and
Bill was the family
lawyer and
is my lawyer now
. He help
ed me get emancipated. They’re my g
od parents,
but
they understood why I wanted to be on my own, so they offer their guidance when I need it…even if I don’t think I need it,”
I
explained
,
looking from the window to him.
I was afraid that he wouldn’t agree with my decision.

“
T
hat was your choic
e…t
o be alone? Why not just live a normal life with them?”

“Don’t get me wrong I love
them
,
and
they are wonderful people
,
but I could never treat them as my
parents and
they knew
that. I
guess I needed that space to grieve my parents…it made it feel more like I had just moved out than that they were actually gone.”

“You sure are stubborn,
”
Tad commented
,
looking over at me.

“
D
o
you think it was a bad decision?
”
I look
ed
down at my hands in my lap.
When I said it out loud it didn’t make that much sense.

“I think it defines who you
are
,
and
you’re a good person. We all need to choose our own
paths and
you chose yours. If you hadn’t you migh
t just be a normal teenage girl,
”
He replied
,
reaching over and squeezing my hands.

“How boring that would be!”
I laughed.

“For me it would be,
”
h
e teased
with a wink.

“For me too,
” I replied
,
leaning over and kissing his cheek
.
“
Thank
you.”

“For what?”

“Loving me.”

“Thank you more,
”
h
e replied
,
bringing my hand up to his lips.

“So
,
w
hat do you think about Mike’s
mom being
on
the board of education?” I asked as the butterflies threatened to explode from my chest
.

“I think that Jennings should’
ve kept h
er mouth shut. Not only is his m
om
on the board of education, she’
s a parent
,
and what the parent’s say has heavy force when they decid
e whether or not to give tenure,
”
Tad observed, shaking his head.

“She’
s up for tenure?”

“
Yes
,
and
from the sounds o
f it, if Mike told his
m
om, it’
s not going to happen and Jennings will be out of a jo
b by the end of the school year, if not sooner. She’s just crossed the line way t
o
o many times.”

“When are you up for tenure?”

“
Three more years, why?” Tad asked
.

“So that means you can be fired at any time until you get that, right?”
I continued.

He squeezed my hand
.
“
I’m not going to get fired.”

“I just worry
…if so
meone ever found out,
”
I drifted off as I traced
the outline of the veins in his arm with my finger.

“We’re
careful,
” h
e reassured me as he looked
over at me from the corner of his eyes
.
“Plus
,
it’s just a job. Please do
n’t start pushing me away again.
It’s
worth the risk to me.”

“
Kirsten
says I push people away,” I acknowledged
with a huff. I hated it when she was right.

“You’
ve been letting people in lately though, like
Jaz
. It seems like you guys hav
e gotten pretty tight,
” Tad remarked
with a smirk.

“I do enjoy her company. She’s
the first friend I’
ve had that’s my age since my parents died. It was the second that I let her in that I realized she was actually a great person. It was like she knew that there was something more to
me and
realized she would have to get me to trust her and she was fine with it. She’s a lot of talk
,
but not a lot of action with the things she says. She wants to be ‘cool’
, so
she
says what she knows she should,
”
I explained.

“I think you helped her too because you don’t care what anyone thinks.”

“That’s not true
;
I
do care what some peop
le think.
It
just matters less what they think. I’ve been hiding behind someone else for a year now.”

“I don’t think you’
ve
been hiding behind someone else.
You
just changed your name. You know who you are
. There are
just things that blur the lines.
Vera
is just a name, sooner
or later you can be Abbi again,
”
Tad said
,
shaking his head.

“Then what will people think?
Jaz
may hate
me forever for not telling her
.
”
I sighed heavily at the thought.

“I doubt that.
I didn’t hate you at all when
I found out. It made things make
a lot more sense,
” T
ad assured me as he put
the car in park
.
“
I liked this house the second
I saw it. It
just looks like home.
”

“It’s nice inside too.”

“
Yes, I remember…
b
ut
it’s
not home?”

“Right now nowhere is
home,
”
I confirmed with another heavy sigh.

He nodded his head
,
and it was
obv
ious he was
in some deep thought.

“Happy Birthday!”
I yelled
as
Kirsten
swung the door open and hugged me.

“It’s so good to see you Tad! It feels like forever, Bill will be glad to see you and of course,”
Kirsten
said
as
her daughter ran around her
legs and jumped into Tad’s arms,
“
Meg will be.”

“Tad!
We missed you; you must
,
must
,
play princess and the frog with me!”
Meg cried out
with
her little arms around Tad’s
neck
.
“You can be the prince!”
S
he took his face in her hands and kissed hi
m on the cheek.

“Tad will play princess and the frog with you some other time. Don’t forget that you
have Maggie
over right now,
”
Kirsten
reminded her daughter as she nodded
over her shoulder into the play room where a blonde girl was sitting
with
her face in her hands in disgust.

“Oh, Tad
,
you must promise to come over again? Pretty plea
se?” Meg begged with
her little eyes wide.

“Of course,
” Tad answered
,
putting her down
.

She
r
a
n off and
to
play with Maggie
,
who lit up the second she came back into the room. I wa
tched Meg whispering to her friend
,
and they both looked at Tad and giggled.

“Little girls, teenagers and women swo
on at the sight of you,
” I observed
, “b
ut you’re my prince.”

“
I’m glad you’re
back together,
”
Kirsten
remarked
,
walking us into the kitchen where Bill was cooking with his apron on.

When he turned I couldn’t help but laugh
. T
he ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron was too much.

“What? Can’
t you read?” h
e asked
,
holding his arms out wide. I hugged him and kis
sed his cheek
.
“Much better
…
Tad? Eh, yeah
—
that’s a little too much.”

“Nice to see
you too
,
” Tad greeted my god
father with an awkward laugh.

“Even married men swoon,
”
Kirsten
teased
,
laughing with me.

“See your family can get me, but my family can get you too!”
I burst out
.

“Thanks
Vera
,
”
Tad gr
umbled with a pout.

“Anytime,
” I replied
,
hugging him.

“You better
stay for dinner,
” Bill ordered
,
turning and stirring whatever delicious thing he was cooking.

“We ate a bit ago,” Tad began
,
tak
ing a sniff at the air
before answering
, “b
ut I’
m sure we
still
have some room left.”

“Good
, there’
s
plenty to go around,
” Bill replied
,
spoon up
.

Just then Tad’s phon
e beeped.

“Text message?” I asked as my brow furrowed
.
“Your d
ad?”