Wallbanger (15 page)

Oh, I don’t know, it’s better when it’s thick
…

Wow. I’m enjoying this truce more than I expected.

I have to admit it’s good for me too.

Are you home yet?

Yep, just pulled up in front of our building.

Okay, I’ll wait until you’re inside.

Bet you can’t wait to get inside.

You’re a demon, you know that?

I have been told. Okay, inside. Just kicked your door, btw.

Thanks.

Just being a good neighbor.

Goodnight, Caroline.

Good morning, Simon.

I laughed as I turned the key in my lock and went inside. I sank into my couch, still laughing. Clive quickly jumped into my lap, and I petted his silky fur as he purred his welcome home. My phone beeped once more.

Did you really kick my door?

Shut up. Go eat your breakfast.

I laughed again as I silenced my phone for the night and lay back onto the couch. Clive perched on my chest as I relaxed for a bit, thoughts of that damn wallbanger in my head. It was shocking how clearly I could picture him: soft faded jeans, hiking boots a la Jake Ryan from
Sixteen Candles
, off-white Irish cable knit turtleneck sweater, hair all in disarray. Standing on a rocky coast somewhere, ocean in the background. A little tan, slightly weathered, hands in pockets. And that grin…

Chapter Nine

T
EXT
B
ETWEEN
C
AROLINE
A
ND
S
IMON
:

You had a package delivered.
I signed for it and it’s at my place.

Thanks. I’ll pick it up when I’m back. How are you?

Good, just working. How are the Irish?

Lucky. How’s that insane cat?

Lucky. I caught him trying to climb the walls.
He’s still looking for Purina. Misses her.

I don’t think a romance is in the cards for those two.

Probably not
…
he won’t be over it anytime soon tho.
Might have to bump up his catnip ration.

Don’t overmedicate.
No one likes a pussy that can’t hold a conversation.

I’m actually a little scared of you.

LOL. Don’t be scared. Wait until I offer you candy for that.

If I catch you in a trench coat I’m running the other way!
When are you coming home btw?

Missing me a little?

No, I wanted to re-hang some pictures on the wall behind my headboard and I’m wondering how much time I have.

Be home in 2 weeks. If you can wait that long,
I’ll help you. It’s the least I can do.

The very least, and I’ll wait. You provide the hammer,
I’ll provide the cocktails.

Curious about my hammer, are you?

Going across the hall right now to kick your door.

Text between Mimi and Caroline:

Girl, guess what? Sophia’s grandparents’ house is available next month. We’re on our way to Tahoe, baby!

Sweet! That’ll be nice.
I’ve been dying to get away with my girls.

We were thinking of inviting the boys…is that cool with you?

That’s fine. The four of you will have a great time.

Idiot, obviously you’re still invited.

Aw thx! I’d love to go along on a romantic weekend
with 2 couples. FANTASTIC!

Don’t be an asshole. You’re totally still coming. You won’t be a 5th wheel. It’ll be so fun! Did you know Ryan plays guitar? He’s gonna bring it, and we can sing along!

What is this
…
camp? No thx!

Text between Mimi and Neil:

Hey, Big Man, what are you doing middle of next month?

Hey, Shortie. No plans yet. What’s up?

Sophia’s grandparents are gonna let us have
the Tahoe house. You in? Ask Ryan
…

Hells yes! I’m there. I’ll ask the nerd if he’s in.

Trying to talk Caroline in to coming along too.

Great! The more the merrier.
We still meeting for drinks with Sophia and Ryan tonight?

Yep, see you then.

You got it, kiddo.

Text between Simon and Neil:

Quit fucking asking me about Lucky Charms.

That little guy cracks me up every time!
Hey, when are you home?
We’re headed up to Tahoe for a weekend next month.

I’ll be home next week. Who’s going?

Sophia and Mimi, me and Ryan. Maybe Caroline.
That girl’s pretty cool.

Yah, she’s pretty cool when she’s not cockblocking.
Tahoe, huh?

Yep, Sophia’s grandparents have a house there.

Nice.

Text between Simon and Caroline:

You going to Tahoe?

How the hell did you hear about that already?

Word gets around…Neil is pretty excited.

Oh, I’m sure he is.
Sophia in a hot tub - isn’t too hard to figure out.

Wait, I thought he was dating Mimi.

Oh, he is, but he is def thinking about Sophia in a hot tub, trust me.

What the hell?

Strange things afoot in San Francisco.
They’re each dating the wrong person.

What?

It’s shocking. Mimi can’t stop talking about Ryan,
who’s usually staring like a sad puppy dog at her. And Sophia is so busy mooning over Neil’s giant man hands she can’t see that he’s staring right back at her. Pretty funny.

Why don’t they swap?

Says the guy with the harem
…
it’s not always that easy.

Wait until I get home, I’ll take care of it.

Okay, Mr. Fix-It. Before or after you hang my pictures?

Don’t worry, Nightie Girl.
I’m all about getting into your bedroom.

Sigh

Did you really just type the word sigh?

Sigh
…

Are you going to Tahoe?

Not if I can help it. Although it would almost be worth it
to watch the chaos when they finally figure this out.

Indeed.

Text between Caroline and Sophia:

What’s this I hear about you not coming to Tahoe?

Ugh! What’s the big deal?

Easy, Trigger. What crawled up your ass?

I just don’t know why it’s essential that I accompany all of you on a romantic weekend. I’m perfectly happy to go next time. Going out with you guys here is one thing. Tagging along to Tahoe? I don’t think so.

It won’t be like that. I promise.

I already have to hear Simon banging on the walls when he’s home. I don’t need to hear Ryan drilling you in the next room, or Mimi getting manhandled.

Do you think he’s manhandling her?

What?

Neil. Do you think he’s manhandling her?

Is he what?

Oh, you know what I mean…

Are you actually asking me if our dear friend Mimi
is having sex with her new boy toy?

Yes! I’m asking!

As it happens, no. They’re not manhandling yet. Wait, why are you asking? You’ve slept with Ryan right? Right????

Gotta go.

Text between Sophia and Ryan:

Is it weird that we only ever go out on double dates
with Mimi and Neil?

What?

Is it weird?

I don’t know. Is it?

Yes. Tonight you’re coming over, alone,
and we’re watching a movie.

Yes, ma’am.

And btw, ask your buddy Simon to come to Tahoe.

Any specific reason I’m doing this?

Yep.

Care to share?

Nope. Bring popcorn.

Text between Ryan and Simon:

Are you sick of green yet?

I’m ready to come home, yes. My flight gets in late tomorrow night. Or tonight. Shit, I don’t know.

Sophia asked me to officially ask you if you want to come along to Tahoe. You in?

Tahoe, huh?

Yep. I think Caroline is going.

I thought she wasn’t going.

Have you been talking to the Cockblocker?

Some. She’s pretty cool. The truce seems to be holding.

Hmmm. So, Tahoe?

Let me think about it. Windsurfing this weekend?

Yep.

Text between Simon and Caroline:

So I got invited to the Tahoe thing. Are you going?

You got invited? Ugh
…

I take it you’re still not sold on the idea?

I don’t know. I love going up there, and the house is pretty fantastic. Are you going?

Are you going?

I asked you first.

So what?

Child. Yes, I suppose I will end up going.

Great! I love it up there.

Oh, you’re going now?

Might as well. Sounds like fun.

Hmm, we’ll see. Home tomorrow, yes?

Yep, late flight in and then sleeping for at least a day.

Let me know when you’re up. I’ve got that package for you.

Will do.

And I’m baking zucchini bread tonight. I’ll save some for you. You probably have no groceries at all, right?

You make zucchini bread?

Yep

Sigh…

I woke up suddenly and heard music coming from next door. Duke Ellington. I looked at the clock. It was after two in the morning. Clive poked his head out from under the covers and hissed.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t be jealous,” I hissed back.

He glared at me, showing me his bum as he turned and wiggled his way back under the covers, head first.

I snuggled in deeper myself, smiling as I listened to the music.

Simon was home.