Wanting More (3 page)

Going home was a mistake. He didn’t hit me again, but I was called every name in the book before he finally fell asleep on the couch. His daughter, Shelby, left to stay with a friend as I laid in my room balling. Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt arms wrapping around me and bad breath kissing all over my face. I was afraid that if I fought him, he would hurt me, so I let him have his way with me. It felt like it took forever and when it was finally over, I went in the bathroom and cried some more.

He left that next day and when he came home after his run, everything calmed down again. Weeks passed and nothing bad happened. Just to be safe, I started hiding money, setting myself up for some kind of escape plan in case it did happen again.

A while later, I came home from work and he was there waiting for me. He came at me, accusing me of cheating on him. I knew it was ridiculous, but it didn’t matter. He got three good swings in before his daughter walked into the room. He stopped when he saw her and I took it as a way to get out of the house. We went grocery shopping and when I got back to the house, he was passed out.

My step daughter went to her friends, while I drove as fast as I could to Miranda’s house. There was no way I was going to be alone all night with him. I was starting to be afraid for my life and I didn’t have enough money to disappear.

Since it was already dark, Ty and Miranda were getting settled in for the evening. I was a wreck and Miranda did her best to comfort me, but I knew she was tired. When her brother came in looking like death, I refused to look at him at first, but as the time passed, I pulled Miranda to the side. Her brother needed someone to keep him straight and I needed something to keep my mind off of Rick. “I will stay up with him.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. He is a mess.”

I insisted. “It’s fine.”

“I know you think he’s an ass.” She was right, I did.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re my best friend. I love you and I will help your brother. The worst he can do is hit on me and I have no interest in someone like him. Just go get some rest.”

I watched her walk into her bedroom and shut the door before I turned around and saw Conner staring at me on the couch.

Chapter 3

Conner

I shouldn’t have let someone like Brina talk me into taking another pill, because I had to go through the withdrawals all over again. To make matters worse, Miranda’s friend was over and appeared to be staying the night. I tried to go into my room and stay out of their way, but I started feeling so bad that I needed to be around someone.

At first my sister wanted to stay up with me, but for some reason, her friend, that I was a total ass to, insisted that she would stay up with me. I had nothing to say to the woman, but there she was, just trying to be nice, even though her life was obviously a mess.

With the television on, it was easy to avoid conversation at first. Miranda had gotten us both a cup of hot tea before she headed off to bed. We talked about what we were watching, but never about each other and I just wasn’t in the mood to be my normal cocky self. Between the jitters and the feeling like I could vomit at any second, I was just trying to keep my composure.

As the night progressed and television got raunchier, Amy seemed anxious. She got up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she sat further away from me. Some romance show was on and to be honest I wasn’t paying it any mind. Her sudden movement caught me off guard. I’d like to say that it was me being irritable, but she really just rubbed me the wrong way all together. “I won’t bite you know.”

She turned to face me and smiled without showing her teeth. “I find that hard to believe.”

I leaned over and grabbed a blanket, tossing her an end. “It gets chilly in this room at night. Hope you don’t mind sharin’.”

Amy refused to cover even her feet up. “I’m fine, thanks anyway.” She stared at the television instead of making eye contact with me.

“Suit yourself! So, I reckon you had another fight with the hubby?” I needed to get my mind off of wanting to take a damn pill. I was prepared to talk about flowers and rainbows if it helped me stay grounded.

“That’s none of your business.” She looked at me for only a moment and when she did, I couldn’t help but smile at her again. She was a beautiful girl.

“You don’t have to get all snappy. I was just tryin’ to be nice and talk to ya.”

She put her head down and shook her head. “Sorry, you’re right. I just don’t even know what is going on right now. My life is a train wreck.”

“Lady, my life is the train wreck.”

She turned her body while still at the opposite side of the couch, so that she was facing me. “I know you’re having a rough time. I’ve been around people trying to get clean. How long since you took a pill?

I could have been a real dick and walked back in my room. Miranda shouldn’t have told this woman my business. “Talk about somethin’ else. No disrespect, but I can’t talk about it right now.”

She pulled her legs up to her chest and I could see the bruises on her arms.  “Sorry.”

I pointed to her arms. “He give you those?”

She took her shirt and covered up the marks. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that either.”

I tried to smile, but ended up squinting up my face. “Yeah, you really don’t want my opinion on that.”

“Well since I don’t want to talk about my marriage and you don’t want to talk about your problem and neither one of us wants to go to sleep, what would you like to talk about?” She hugged her knees and finally looked my way again.

“Do you have any family?” It was a simple question that I felt was pretty safe to ask.

She put her head down again. “I have family but not really anyone I can turn to. My mother disowned me out of high school and my father did the same once Rick came into the picture. He’s remarried and raising a son, so he doesn’t have time for my bullshit. He lives a couple towns over and runs a hardware store. To be honest, he hasn’t made an attempt to contact me in a few years now. To say I disappointed him would be an understatement. My older brother and sister live out of state with their families. They are both in the military and move from place to place. I haven’t seen them in years. I don’t even know their phone numbers.”

Obviously I sucked at asking questions. “Sorry to hear that. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without my family. It isn’t huge, but we’re all very close. Holidays are always a real big deal. I’m surprised Miranda hasn’t invited you to Kentucky before.”

She shrugged her shoulders and looked sad again. “Saying this out loud is going to sound worse than it is, but I don’t think Rick would let me go.”

I leaned into her and rested my elbows on my knees. “Look, I don’t know nothin’ about bein’ married, but I do know that you’re your own person and that shit ain’t right. If you want to see the world, well your pretty little self should be able to.”

She became defensive and I knew it was because she knew I was right. “He has a daughter that I take care of.”

“How old is this daughter?”

“Seventeen.”

I stood up to grab something to drink out of the kitchen. “She’s plenty old enough to take care of herself.” I turned around to ask if she wanted something and she was standing behind me, bumping into me. My hands grabbed her elbows and steadied her back. “Do you need somethin’?”

She stared right at me for a second and then finally pulled away from my fingertips. “Sorry, I was thirsty.”

I took another step toward her and pushed the hair away from her cheek. “Is that all you want?”

She backed away from my hand and sat down on the other side of the breakfast bar. “Yes, just the drink.”

I handed her an ice tea and leaned across from her. “I don’t bite, well only if I’m asked to and I can assure you, it would be something you couldn’t get enough of.”

She turned around, jumping off the stool and walked back into the living room without saying anything. I took my time going back, in order for my words to sink in. The woman wouldn’t stop staring at me; I could tell she was attracted to me. She clearly needed a good fucking and I’d give it to her, if she’d just ask. I plopped down beside her, but kept enough distance to make her look over. I noticed she was rubbing her feet and I looked down at them. Her little white socks made her feet look even smaller than they were. Without her permission, I grabbed one of them. She pulled back at first. I reached over and grabbed it again. “It’s just a foot, woman. If I was tryin’ to seduce you, you’d know it. I can promise you that.”

“I don’t like to be touched.”

She didn’t like to get the shit beat out of her, there was a huge difference. I pulled her foot back into my grip and stared massaging it. “Will you just relax? I need to do something to keep my mind off of things. Just close your eyes and enjoy it.”

“You don’t have to do this. I mean, it’s kind of personal don’t you think?”

After a couple minutes, I stopped and she lifted her head. “Just switching feet. Lay your head back down and stop worryin’. My sister loves it when I do this to her.” I wanted her to feel comfortable, even though Ty was the one who rubbed his wife’s feet.

While her head was back and her eyes were closed, I took in her perfect body. There wasn’t an inch of it that I didn’t want to touch. I rubbed her foot harder, just imagining her naked and feeling my erection growing in my pants. She had puffy lips that I wanted to taste and I licked my lips just thinking about them. There were plenty girls out there and none of them had ever told me no, but this one was different. I wanted the challenge of it. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her.

Once I finished, she sat up abruptly and pulled her legs back into her chest. “Thank you.”

I held my hands up. “Anytime. You can call me whenever you need a good rubbin’.” I loaded the answer and she caught on right away.

“Do you always do that?”

I cocked my eyebrow, like I didn’t know exactly what she meant. “Do what?”

“I can tell you now; it’s never going to happen. Your sister told me how you think you’re God’s greatest gift to women. Even if I was interested in dating, it wouldn’t be with someone like you, Conner. We can be friends, but that’s all it will ever be.”

Is that so? Challenge accepted.

I started laughing and moved over until my face was within inches of hers. She tried to back away, but couldn’t go any further. I knew she felt afraid, so I stared at her mouth while I spoke.  I took my finger and ran it across her lips. She closed her eyes when I did it, making me smile. “Oh, you’ll want me; in fact, I guarantee you’ll be beggin’ me to fuck you.”

Amy looked up into my eyes and pushed herself off the couch. “You’re an asshole. I was trying to be nice to you tonight, but obviously, even at your worst, you still think you’re some amazing prize. I’d rather go home than deal with the likes of you, Conner Healy.”

Amy walked over to the door and started putting on her jacket. I walked in front of the door and grabbed her arm. I couldn’t help but start laughing. “Darlin’ take off your coat. I’m not goin’ to ever touch you unless you ask me to. You have nothin’ to worry about. Besides, I never once said I wanted you. You came here to be safe, so I’ll go back in my room and give you privacy. See you around.”

I left her just standing there, letting everything I said simmer in her little head. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d have her. Something was telling me, she would be so worth the wait.

When I woke up the next morning, Amy was gone. I’d gotten a few curious looks from my sister, but she never really said too much to make me think Amy told her the things I said.

The next week was a rough one for me. I didn’t talk much to anyone in the family, unless it had to do with the farm. I kept myself busy and only came in when it got dark. I liked living with Ty and Miranda because I wasn’t ever alone. We got involved with a billiards league and shot out of one local bar. After a while, I found that I could drink in moderation and not crave any other substance for a good time. I’m not going to say that the cravings were totally gone, but they were manageable.

Since my sister was pregnant and super moody, she and Ty didn’t come to pool league every week. On those nights, it was better that I didn’t drink much at all. We’d shot all of our matches and most of the players had left for the night. The bartender was a nice girl that I knew had been wanting to see my package for quite a while. As the few last patrons cleared out, I caught her giving me looks several times. Suddenly realizing that it was probably going to happen, I remembered that my truck was a fucking mess. I leaned over the bar. “Be right back, doll.” I threw her a wink as I walked out of the bar. Just to be on the safe side, I kept condoms in my truck. I was all too familiar with stupid bitches that just wanted to trap a guy by telling him she was on the pill when she wasn’t. Plus, I always had this fear of sleeping with some chick that Ty had already hit, and I wasn’t for the whole full circle thing.

I opened my truck on the passenger side and noticed the fast food bags and the trash all over the floor. Normally, my truck was pristine, but I hadn’t been myself lately. I grabbed one of the bigger bags and started throwing all the shit in it. By the time I had everything out of the truck, I reached behind the seat and grabbed cleaner wipes to make sure the leather was perfect. Finally satisfied, I started to walk back into the bar, but realized I had to take a piss. Instead of going inside, I headed toward the side of the building to relieve myself.

I could hear the woman, before I even spotted the car.  To make matters worse, I recognized the car right away. A redhead sat in the front seat. She was leaning against her steering wheel with a cigarette hanging out of the window. I knew she didn’t hear me approaching, so I slowly knocked on her window. She jumped and screamed, dropping the cigarette to the ground. I held my hands up in the air. “It’s just me, Amy.”

She was hysterically crying. “Just what I need. Please just leave me alone.”

The car was dark and she wouldn’t look over at me. I grabbed the car door and opened it before she could lock it. When she turned to look at me, I was shocked at what I saw. Her lip was busted and her eye was swollen. I crouched down and pulled her chin toward me. “Jesus Christ! Did he do this to you?”