Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (51 page)

I snatch my phone from the seat and dial her number. I need to hear her voice. Panic sets in as I listen to it ring, once, twice and then finally she answers.

“Reed.” I let out a whoosh of air when I hear her sweet, velvety voice swirl in my ear.

“Where are you, doll?” I ask impulsively.

“In front of the Agganis,” she replies hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just running a little late.”
Fuck.
I’m not gonna win an Oscar for this lame ass performance. “I’m right up the street.”

I zoom up St. Paul Street and hit Commonwealth Avenue and see her waiting on the front steps of Agganis Arena. I pull up to the curb, hop out of the truck, not giving two shits that I’m parked illegally at a cabby stand and open the door for her.

“You don’t have to go through all that for me.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. I catch her face between my hands and kiss her. She inhales sharply and melts against me, wrapping her warm arms around my neck. We finally pull apart, and she searches my eyes. “Is everything okay?” she hedges.

“Everything’s fine,” I reply, helping her into the truck. I close the door, catching her eye as I slowly round the truck trying to delay the inevitable. I’m not so sure I can keep this from her. I slide in next to her, start the truck and put it into drive and pull away from the curb, leaving the campus behind. We drive in silence for about half a mile when I notice my white knuckles from gripping the steering wheel too tightly while imagining it’s Jerry’s neck. I abruptly loosen my hold and glance over at Elle, hoping that she hasn’t noticed, but that’s not the case.

“Reed, you’re not a good liar,” she says, placing her hand on my forearm. Her tone is casual. “What’s going on?”

“Shit.” I grimace, placing my hand over hers. “Fine,” I mutter as I pull over and throw the truck into park.
Fucking Oscar out the window.
I inhale a deep breath, drop my shoulders and turn to her. “I just found this out from Luke this morning.”

“Oh God, now I’m worried.” She laughs.

“Yeah. No,” I say, clearing my throat and listening to the silence around us before I finally speak.

“Remember my problem back in Texas?”

“Yes.” She gazes at me and begins to coil her hair around her finger.

“Luke happened to run into Jerry...here in Boston.”

“I thought you said you took care of everything.”

“Yeah, I thought I did.” I purse my lips and swallow hard.

“What are you going to do?” she murmurs, staring out the windshield before turning her eyes to me.

“I’m going to wait until we go to Texas. I can’t risk you getting hurt because of my mistakes.” I feel myself spiraling back down to those dark days again. Shit. I need to close out this chapter of my life once and for all.

“This is not going to go away. Is it?”

“Yes...yes, it will. I’ll make sure of it.”

I decide to play hard and physical on the football field today so I can work out my frustrations. I laid out a couple of unlucky offensive ends on the fucking turf. I am wound up so tight over what Luke told me that I nearly tackled my own quarterback. They can blame Jerry for showing up here and giving me the motivation.

“Dude, you taking out motherfuckers today?” Jace laughs, slapping my helmet-clad head at the line of scrimmage. “What’s up with that?”

“Is that why you’re on me, so you can feel my wrath?” I chuckle, trying to shake Jerry out of my head, but he’s not budging.

“Fuck, yeah.” He grins, nodding his head. “The only way to get better is to challenge yourself, and I figure why not man up with one of the best.”

Finally, this kid is warming up to me and realizing that I am here to stay. I scan the stands and see Elle watching us as she’s talking on her phone. Some scouts have been coming around, observing some of the practices. Now, with the idea of Jerry in my head, I get this crazy notion that people other than football scouts are watching me.

“Dude, get your head in the game,” Jace says as the quarterback calls an audible. “Shit. Yeah.” I get into position at the line and stare down the smart ass that has now become my ally.

“You asked for it, motherfucker.” I chuckle as I throw my arms up in his face. My arms get locked up in his, and we battle. Bodies collide. The clacking of shoulder pads and equipment crush my eardrums. The quarterback fakes left and then right. Large bodies move in slow motion and crowd in as I try to protect the quarterback. The football gets knocked out of his hands and rolls free. Fumble. Jace breaks past my grip and scrambles for the ball, landing on top of it. For a freshman, this kid is better than I thought. If he plays his cards right, he may be good enough to play in the NFL. He’s still too young, but I know I can teach him a thing of two.

I dropped off Elle and Jace at her apartment. I didn’t want her alone. Elle wanted to come with me, to hold my hand she said, but I didn’t want her to see me this way, all nerves and sweaty palms.

I pull up to my apartment and honk a couple of times before Luke trots out, carrying his gym bag with a manic grin on his face. He reminds me of the Joker. I wish I had some of what he’s having, considering where I’m going.

“Hey there.” He opens the door, throwing his gym bag into the back and hops into the front seat. He’s wearing no jacket, a pale blue dress shirt and some new jeans. I’ve never seen him look so put together, unlike me in my black warm-up suit and sneakers. It looks like he’s going to a job interview. It is an interview in a way. We’re going to see if one of us is going to be a daddy. Big job for sure. He reaches for his phone in his back pocket as it alerts him of a text. Frowning at the screen, he throws the phone onto the dashboard without responding. He faces me, but doesn’t smile. That’s a rare expression for Luke, no matter the situation. Whoever it was just killed his mood, and I wasn’t going to ask who it was that put the scowl on his face.

“So, what’s your excuse for sleeping with Ménage a Mindy?” Luke asks as I pull away from the curb.

“You know how it is being the new guy in town, and I wanted to get a feel for the territory. I liked what I saw and went for it. Pretty simple.” That’s why we get along so well. Similar interests.” I chuckle, thinking those days are long gone.

“Yeah, I needed some ass. No beer, no condom. Freewheeling that night and here I am giving up my genetic material.”

“That’s your MO, right?” I ask, momentarily taking my eyes off the road to catch Luke’s reaction.

“Fuck...man,” he spits. “She was asking for it. She said we were good. It would’ve taken me a minute to sheath my shit, and I wouldn’t be here. Damn, when a chick wants to go raw like that? Fuck, I can’t back down.”

“Yeah, there isn’t much we can do about it now. We just have to go in, give them what they need and hope that we’re not the father.”

“What about that other dude?” Luke looks over with a hopeful smile peaking at the corners of his mouth.

“Who? Cane? I don’t know, man. We’re all in the running,” I reply as I merge onto Storrow Drive on my way into Boston. We don’t speak for a couple of minutes. We’re both thinking, kicking ourselves for being here. I feel the pressure of the situation at hand; it’s strangling me, so I open the window and let the cold air chill my bones. Luke grabs his phone from the dashboard and finally decides to respond to his last text.

“I fucking hope it’s that dude. I can’t handle being a dad. I love kids, but there is no way in hell I’m ready for shitty diapers,” he says, staring out the window.

“I hear ya, man. I’ve had that conversation with myself a million times,” I say, watching him text frantically on the phone. “Is everything okay with you, man? Whoever’s calling you is really pissing you off.”

“It’s nothing,” he replies, waving his phone dismissively. “People can’t take no for an answer.” He chuckles. “Shit, it’s kinda like me sometimes. I don’t like to be a douche to anyone, but if you shove me just enough, I’m not sure what I might do. This shithead may be the first one to find out.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah, man, I can handle it,” he informs me, shoving the phone into his pocket. “What about you? How is Elle taking this baby daddy shit?”

I thread my fingers through my hair, trying to focus on the traffic in front of me. Elle is being strong for me, but I know what’s going on in her head when she reaches for her hair or when she hears a baby crying in public. Fuck. I can’t seem to get my shit right. I’m never in the clear. I’m testing her, and I’m not sure how much longer she’s going to hang on.

“She’s okay with it,” I say. There is no right or wrong answer. She hasn’t told me, and I haven’t really asked her. She has so much on her plate right now. I just want to get this over with and move on with my life with her.

“That’s cool that she’s putting up with your sorry ass.” He laughs. “She must really love you. God fucking knows you love her. Shit, I say her name, and you’re all teeth.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, not in the mood to talk anymore. I fucking hate myself for putting her though another round of my bullshit. She deserves better. Better with me. And I’m going to give it to her.

Luke immediately turns on the radio and starts flipping through the stations. He stops on a station playing “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. How fitting, considering where we’re going. He turns it up, leans his head back and closes his eyes.

“YEAH! Great! I hope it’s not a sign, ‘cuz one of us is gonna be fucked!”

I have nothing more to say because the song just said it all.

My mind is somewhat clearer after completing the paternity test. It’s not by much, but it’s enough that I can talk to Luke about Jerry. I need more details. What was he doing up here? He never got in touch with me, and it’s driving me insane trying to figure it out and how he was able to find me. I try to rehash the topic so that Luke doesn’t suspect anything. I’d hate for him to get stuck in the middle of my shit, but it may already be too late for that.

“So, this Jerry dude you met at the club…what was he up to besides the obvious?” I ask, driving out of Boston’s Financial District.

“I don’t know. You tell me,” Luke counters, pulling his cell from his pocket to check his messages. “His pudgy ass with the fucked-up Texas accent was asking for you. Did you get into a little bit of shit back home?” He chuckles as he scrolls through his phone. I throw him a quick glance. Fuck. The brief silence and my hesitation make it obvious to Luke. We’ve been roommates for a whole summer, and he knows nothing about me. Now that he’s met the constant thorn in my side, he needs to know.

“I’m right then,” he says, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Tell me. I’ve seen enough crazy shit to last me a lifetime. Your shit can’t be that bad, country boy. How much trouble did you get into back in Texas? Cow tipping? Stealing a horse? Crashing someone’s pickup? What the fuck?” He laughs exuberantly, slapping his hand against the dashboard. “Plus, when your boy Tommy came up for that cash and you didn’t show for over a month, I knew shit was going down. So, you need to fess up.” He snorts, glancing over at my sorry ass as I try to get the words in the right order. “All right, motherfucker, you need to help me out here. It’s too quiet in this ride. Spill the whole thing, shithead, ‘cuz right about now I need a distraction from all this baby daddy shit.”

“Damn…Yeah… All right,” I groan, scratching my head. “I owe him a few dollars. I had a little too much fun gambling in college, and I needed someone to bail me out for a minute.”

“What the shit? That little shit in the bad-fitting suit that smells like a fucking chimney is your puppet master? It’s been more than minute, right. Over a year?”

“Pretty much.”

“Whaddya need?”

“What do you mean?”

“The cash, asshole. How much do you owe that slimy fucker?”

“A few grand,” I reluctantly reply, frowning at my roommate. “Why?”

“Dude, stop with the fucking riddles and fill in the blanks for me. I need definite figures.”

“Why the hell does it matter? You can’t help me.” I draw my gaze over at him and see amusement in his eyes as he shakes his head and raises an eyebrow. The way he’s acting is making me nervous. I’m afraid he wants to throw together a fundraiser at Centerfolds to help me raise the money to get out of this.