Watching Over You (26 page)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Ella spent all Saturday night curled up on the floor in the closet, fighting the voice inside her head. Resisting the urge to go out, she finally fell asleep around dawn.

When she next woke up, she knew.

Cassandra was back, and she was here to stay.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Charley rolled over on to her back and took time for a luxurious stretch. From the kitchen, she could hear Aaron singing to a tune on the radio; the smell of toast still lingered in the air. They’d already had breakfast in bed and he’d gone to make more tea.

With a satisfied sigh, she snuggled back down underneath the duvet, missing the warmth of his body next to hers already. This is what Sundays were meant for, she mused. Funnily enough, she couldn’t recall the last time she and Dan had made the effort to lie in bed of a morning. Dan had been an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ person, so was usually up at the first signs of light. She’d long ago forgotten what it was like to curl up and go back to sleep, having always felt guilty while he was doing stuff. Even since his death, she’d still done it out of habit.

Now she was having fun doing it again. This was all new and deserved to be enjoyed. Content – that’s how she felt. For a long time, she’d seen Aaron as a friend, but she had been drawn to him recently for no other reason than he was a nice guy who wanted to spend time with her. Already, she couldn’t wait to see him again when he wasn’t there, hear his voice, feel his skin next to hers; that kiss on a bare shoulder, that touch of a fingertip. All of it something she thought she’d never have after Dan.

She smiled to herself. Who would have thought that Aaron would rock her world and she would love every minute of it?

‘More tea, m’lady?’ Aaron smiled as he came into the room.

He’d slipped on his T-shirt, but other than that he was naked. As he drew level with her, Charley ran her fingers over the side of his thigh, feeling his coarse black hair standing on end from her touch. She felt a familiar pulse of lust between her legs.

He placed the tray down on top of the bedside cabinet and slid into bed beside her. She lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulders, returning to lie next to his chest as they shared a comfortable silence.

‘So what shall we do today?’ she asked eventually.

‘I’m taking you to the place that does the best roast dinners ever.’

‘Sounds like a great plan. Anywhere I know?’

‘Yes, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise.’

‘You’re always spoiling me! Not that I’m complaining.’

‘That’s because…oh…I think…Well, I know…Charley
Belington…
I’m falling in love with you.’

‘Oh!’ Charley stared up at him, unsure of her feelings as a
million
thoughts flashed through her mind.

‘Yes, and I’m a little embarrassed that I blurted it out now!’ Aaron pressed a finger to her lips as she went to speak. ‘I can’t help the way I feel, but I don’t want you to burst my bubble and say this is all too quick for you. As long as you’re enjoying my company, that’s good enough for me. So, while my cheeks and that tea cool down…’ He lifted up the duvet and disappeared underneath it.

As she felt his lips travelling from her neck down her chest and cleavage, ever so slowly, Charley’s eyes filled with tears.

Of happiness.

Watching through the window as Charley left with Aaron later that morning, Ella began to rant.

‘Look at them,’ she said. ‘I bet they’re off out for lunch again, somewhere romantic and lovey-dovey. It’s enough to make you puke. They’ve been together all weekend! It’s always the fucking same, though, isn’t it? Always me seeing someone else fall in love from the sidelines.’

All you’re good enough for is a quick screw and away they go.

Ella waved a hand around, clutching a fresh bottle of vodka.
‘I can
’t even get that lately. Home a-fucking-lone again.’

You’re such a loser.

In a rush, she felt sick to her stomach thinking of the last time she’d gone out, meeting that bastard again, after all this time. But she’d soon sorted him out.

Revenge was sweet – she smiled then.

She saw an unfamiliar car draw up outside and came away from the window quickly.

Someone’s after you
–
it has to be!

Fear coursed through her as she held her breath, hearing car doors slamming and expecting a knock on the entrance door.
Seconds
later, when it hadn’t materialised, she sneaked a look around the frame. But the occupants of the car were nowhere to be seen. She looked downstairs to the steps in front of her property, but there was no one there either.

No one knows what you’ve done – no one! So you’re okay for now.

She stared across into Jean’s window. Jean would be watching; she always was. Ella scowled. Did she see her come in the other night, after she’d laid into Brendan? If she did, she’d be able to tell the police about her. They’d find out she already had a criminal record and lock her away again.

Or then again, maybe Brendan wouldn’t want the world to know it was her. After the viciousness of her attack, he might be scared that she’d spill the beans on what really happened at Ravenside. He’d be sent back to prison. And even if he was stupid enough to say anything, the police wouldn’t know her as Ella Patrick so they couldn’t trace her that easily.

Could the police get dental records for teeth marks, she wondered? There must be plenty of them around Brendan’s knob. She laughed again before her mood changed.

It’s all her fault. That Charley. All she wants to do now is screw
him
.

‘They think I don’t see them but I do. I see them all the time, screwing in the bedroom.’

While
you
have to go out to get laid.

‘And look at ME! I even get rejected by the ugliest-looking freaks I’ve ever set eyes on. No one wanted
me
when I needed to be screwed.’

Ella paced the room again, clenching and unclenching her fists. ‘And now I have to go out or I’ll spend all day and all night thinking of them. Screwing, that’s all they do. I know.’ She pointed to her eyes. ‘I can see them. Screwing all the time.’

Yes, you are so sneaky.

It was my fault that Andy left me. I pushed him: I knew it, he knew it. You see, when I met him, I was clean. I was off the drugs and the drink, had been for six months. So I looked good, I felt fantastic,
I w
as beginning to enjoy life. Meeting Andy topped it all.

I hadn’t felt so happy in a long while. It was one of the only times in my life that I felt sort-of normal. I trusted Andy with all my being. We did things that couples do: went out for dinner, to the cinema. Even basic stuff like cuddling up on the settee to watch a film was great with Andy. I suppose it was the closest I’ve ever come to ordinary domestic bliss. I always dreamt that I would have a relationship like my parents’ one day. Love and marriage and happy ever after, that’s what I wanted. Looking back on how they were together, I see how much they loved each other. Fate is such a cruel bastard at times!

I was with Andy for ten months until I fell off the wagon and changed back into the monster I thought I’d left behind. When the lustful stage of wanting sex every time we met wore off, I still craved the closeness. Andy was content with a few times a week but I wanted it a few times a night. There is nothing like the buzz of sex for me, the rush of an orgasm, the look on his face when he was at the height of pleasure I had given to him.

I began to drink heavily again.

Andy loved me unconditionally. He knew about my past and wasn’t repelled by it. He just wanted to make it better, show me that life could be good. That being part of a loving couple, just like my mum and dad, was what I deserved. But I messed up. And screwing his mate had been the last straw.

Why couldn’t I have controlled my urges?

It was pretty obvious that he wouldn’t put up with my behaviour, and he left when he found out. You see, I told him that too, about fucking his mate – one night when I was pissed out of my brains, picking a fight because I wanted to hurt him. Stupid bitch, me.

Why did I always turn people against me? I didn’t want anyone to leave me yet I pushed people away because I didn’t want to get hurt. But it hurt a lot more this way, believe me! Stupid, stupid!

When Andy left, not only did he take my heart but he took my sanity. I dipped drastically after that. And that’s when my addiction to sex became much worse.

‘You could always move in with me,’ said Aaron.

Charley glanced over the top of her coffee cup into sincere eyes, honest eyes – eyes full of concern for her.

‘Or spend a few nights with me,’ he added, ‘if you don’t feel safe there.’

‘We haven’t been seeing each other long.’

‘I know that – and it doesn’t have to be anything permanent. But we’ve known each other for years, haven’t we?’

She nodded.

‘So we know we can trust each other. Only time will tell if we’ll get past the lust stage,’ Aaron smiled, ‘but why not run with it for now? Enjoy what we have. You, for one, know how short life can be.’

Charley felt tears well in her eyes – not at the mention of Dan, but because of Aaron. It was silly, really, and scary too, how another person could invade your world, become a part of it so easily, and bring out such happy feelings. And she was still glowing from his earlier confession.

Was all this happening too quickly or, because both of them were older and more experienced in relationships, were they
destined
to be together because they knew what needed to be worked at?

Charley had been at Aaron’s for a few hours now. As promised, he’d taken her somewhere special for lunch. She’d thought he’d forgotten something when he’d pulled up outside his house, but he’d led her into the kitchen, where she found a table set for two and everything he needed ready to cook. He’d sat her down at the breakfast bar and insisted she couldn’t help at all. The dinner had been
delicious
– lamb chops, mint sauce, roast potatoes, the works, and followed by apple crumble and custard. She was fit to burst with food.

The gravy had been lumpy; no one was that perfect.

‘I’m just saying that if you’re uncertain of Ella and you need a place, the offer is there.’

Charley finished her drink in silence.

‘Stay over tonight while you think about it?’ Aaron leaned across the table, kissing her tenderly on the forehead.

She nodded. She wasn’t sure she trusted herself to put into words what she was thinking anyway, without making a fool of
herself
.

Because she’d realised something fabulous.

She was falling in love again too.

On Monday morning, Ella woke up, rubbing at her eyes before opening them slowly. She glanced around. Where the hell was she now? She sniffed, nearly gagging as the stench of the room caught her nose. Jeez, it smelt rank – not just of stale sex. Who the hell had she slept with this time?

She pulled back the covers but there were no bruises on her, no blood anywhere. There were no patches on the bottom sheet either; maybe they hadn’t had sex in here – whoever
they
might be. She hadn’t got a clue.

She lay on the bed. The place was quiet. She checked her watch: ten past nine. Had the someone gone to work and left her there? She tried to recall the night before. She knew she’d headed for Newcastle this time. Somewhere she could disappear into a crowd where no one knew of her existence. But it had turned out that no one could actually see her – well, that’s what it had felt like to her. She’d hit on several guys but not a one had shown an interest in taking things further. It was ridiculous, really – how more obvious could she have been than when she told one of them she wanted to be screwed, right now, real hard? No strings attached.

In the end, she’d resorted to walking into the men’s toilets to see if she could find anyone willing in there. But all she got was a nose full of the stink of piss, as disgusting as the stench of the room she was in now.