Welcome to My Jungle (20 page)

“Do what?” I said.

“Get the moth to come out from the chandelier, into the corner so I can shoot it. I don’t want to hit the light.”

Right.

As I stood on another (really nice) dining room chair, I thought,
If I do, miraculously, get the moth to go into the corner, how will it stay there so Axl can shoot it? Does Axl want me to stay close to the moth so it doesn’t fly back into the light? Does Axl want me to stay there
while he shoots the moth
?

I was getting paid very well at that time, but the thought of standing between Axl and a moth, with Axl holding a gun, was very stressful. But dealing with stress was a key part of the job, and I was used to doing what I was told, so I stood there.

Today I’m much older and don’t have a death wish, and would never do that, but at the time I just trusted that Axl was a good shot, and I stayed right there, making sure the moth was cornered until Axl could shoot. Thankfully, I didn’t know much about shotguns at the time, either.

“If you hand me a flyswatter, I think I could get him,” I begged.

“Not going to happen,” Axl said with a laugh.

So with the moth hovering in the corner of Axl’s dining room ceiling, and me waving my hands frantically to make sure it stayed in the corner of the ceiling, Axl pulled the trigger, and …

Boom!

I checked my chest, my arms, and my legs to see if I’d been hit, and again, amazingly, I walked away unscathed.

The moth, of course, was obliterated. I didn’t see more than a little dust come from the ceiling after the shot. But the moth was indeed gone.

After a victory yell by all of us in the room, Axl calmly got to his feet and walked off into the sunset, victorious. (Actually he walked back upstairs to his bedroom to put the gun away.)

Now, I don’t know why there wasn’t a gigantic hole in the wall. My best guess is that Axl just happened to have a shotgun around that he had preloaded with rock salt or something, because there were lots of little holes in the area where the moth breathed its last breath (if moths even breathe). It could have been a BB gun that shot out lots of little BBs or pellets. But I don’t give a rat’s ass what kind of gun it was, all I know is that the moth was defeated.

Some people talk about killing flies with sledgehammers. But that’s just a metaphor. Axl Rose really did kill the dreaded Malibu moth with a gun. And for him, it was just another day in the life of a rock star.

Axl, using his dining room chair as a shield, attempting to destroy the “killer” moth
.

Me, Sabrina Okamoto (Axl’s masseuse), and Mike Hall (part of the GNR management team) in front of thousands of fans outside one of our hotels
.

Earl (wearing Slash’s top hat), Axl, and me walking through the “secret” entrance of a hotel to avoid the thousands of fans waiting outside
.

Handing out Guns N’ Roses photos to crazed fans in South America. Go Chiefs
.

Fans starting to assemble outside of our hotel in South America
.

STARS

6

FREDDIE MERCURY TRIBUTE

Monday, April 20, 1992, the fifth greatest day of my life. The first four were: the day I got married, and the births of my three sons. There, I’m good with my family now for another ten years at least.

But truly, the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert was a very special day for me. For the two of you who don’t know, Freddie Mercury was lead singer of the mega-popular band Queen. In 1991, Freddie Mercury passed away from AIDS-related causes. A year later the three other members of Queen, Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon, decided to hold a concert in honor of Freddie Mercury, and to help create AIDS awareness.

The music industry responded. Many huge rock stars showed up to perform, and it was an amazing concert. Stars included Elton John, Robert Plant, David Bowie, Annie Lennox, Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, George Michael, Lisa Stansfield, and, of course, Guns N’ Roses.

Growing up, I idolized Freddie Mercury. I am a
huge
Queen fan. I bought every album, I knew every song, and I knew every word to every song. In fact, I wanted to be Freddie Mercury when I grew up. I sang to records in my bedroom, pretending I was him, performing onstage in front of millions of fans. I knew all his moves and nuances. Now I was in London at the world-famous Wembley Stadium, helping Axl Rose of Guns N’ Roses get ready for the concert of the decade.

I was jazzed.

Guns N’ Roses performed their Bob Dylan cover, “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door,” and their hit encore song, “Paradise City.” Later that night Axl joined Elton John and the other members of Queen for an amazing version of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Axl also performed “We Will Rock You” with Queen, and Slash played “Tie Your Mother Down” together with Queen and Joe Elliot of Def Leppard. The show was broadcast live around the world via satellite, and it had the largest audience for a music concert in music industry history.

Because I was Axl’s liaison I got to meet tons of celebrities. They would come backstage and Doug Goldstein would bring them to Axl’s dressing room because they wanted to meet Axl. Doug would ask me if Axl was ready or if he was in the mood. So I got to meet everyone.

Like the time GNR did a show at Slane Castle in Ireland. Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones needed a ride and we were flying in because Slane Castle has one road in and one road out. So bands would take a helicopter there. Ron Wood probably knew he wasn’t going to drive there, so while we’re all standing around, I heard Ron say, “Mind if I catch a ride?” And so I shared a helicopter with a Rolling Stone.

I also met Elton John—Sir Elton John. I had met him previously at the MTV Awards when he and Axl sang “November Rain” together. Both he and Axl were playing their own piano, and Elton asked me if I liked his cup.

Travel itinerary for the Slane Castle gig in Ireland.

And then I met Elton again at the Freddie Mercury Tribute. Elton had wanted to rehearse “Bohemian Rhapsody” with Axl, but Axl was going through some relationship issues with Stephanie Seymour, so just getting to the show was going to be hard for Axl. But he did the show, and it was amazing. Axl and Elton didn’t rehearse for even one second, but because they are both professionals, they pulled it off. Not only pulled it off, but crushed it. It was amazing to watch—Axl Rose and Elton John singing everyone’s favorite Queen song.

Incredible.

I met tons of stars, but the rules of the road were that you didn’t take pictures of other celebrities and rock stars, because you were “with the band.” So on the road, even though I met hundreds of celebrities, I never took any pictures with any of them. When I am speaking, I teach businesspeople to take pictures with business leaders, celebrities, and anyone else to help get a conversation started on social networking sites. So, I wish now I had pictures of me and everyone I met on the road.

Actually, I do have one picture of Bono, Axl, and me backstage at one of our concerts. Bono used to come see Guns N’ Roses, and Axl and I would go see U2 a few times. Axl and Bono were huge fans of each other.

However, the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert was different. Everyone was taking pictures with everyone, so I dusted off my 35mm camera and brought it with me. I bought about six rolls of film because I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity.

I took pictures of everyone. Me and Liz, me and Liza, me and Robert Plant, me and David Bowie, and even me and Spinal Tap. The list goes on and on. I even took a picture of Liz Taylor moments after she walked into Slash’s dressing room backstage, and saw Slash in all his glory. Rumor has it that she wasn’t embarrassed and didn’t quite leave right away. And she wasn’t looking into his eyes. Hysterical.

I was taking so many damned pictures that I kind of forgot that I was working for Guns N’ Roses. Axl was about to take the stage to sing “Paradise City,” and I was holding his cool UK leather jacket that he wanted to wear for the song. Usually, Earl and I escorted Axl onto the stage, but as I heard Roger Taylor say: “Please welcome Guns N’ Roses,” I was still about a hundred feet from the stage.