What About Charlie? (34 page)

“I was wondering if I could have the watch back,” she continued in a whisper. “I know it’s now yours and it’s awfully bold and rude of me to ask, but that watch was a connection between he and I. You see we exchanged tokens of our affections, symbols of our love for each other. It was wrong, as I am married, but we could not deny our feelings.” Mrs. Turner’s voice broke and she took a deep breath, stifling a sob. “Please consider my request, Mrs. Collier.”

Charlie nodded. “I will look for it.” She searched the woman’s eyes. “If I find it, how should I contact you?”

“I will phone you in a couple days. Thank you, my dear.”

The older woman turned and hurried into Mrs. Harvey’s home through the back door, no doubt going to the bathroom to give herself the opportunity to compose herself before anyone could see her.

***

“Exactly,” Charlie said levelly. “They were having an affair, Evan. My daddy was having an affair with a married woman! I’m still in shock.”

“How did you find out?”

“While I was standing by the car waiting for you, Mrs. Turner came to talk to me. She asked for the watch back.” Charlie laughed in despair. “Apparently they had exchanged tokens of their love and this watch was her gift to him.”

“Are you going to give it back to her?”

“I don’t know. Apparently my dad loved her, but it’s hard for me to accept that my dad was having an affair with a married woman. I thought I knew him. What upsets me most is the thought that perhaps I never knew him, my own father.”

Evan wrapped his arms around her and drew her to his chest. “I don’t think we ever truly know the people we’re closest to, though we may like to think so. Hell, it’s hard enough to know yourself let alone come to know someone else.”

Charlie pulled back from him and looked up into his face.

“That’s pathetic, isn’t it?”

“No, that’s being human. We’re all human, Charlie. We’re all different. We all handle our feelings differently. And we all keep things from the ones closest to us. Your dad kept the relationship with Mrs. Turner from you because he knew you’d be upset. Perhaps he kept it from you because he couldn’t understand it himself. I’ve kept things from my family. I’m still keeping things from my family. It’s things that aren’t any of their business. Just like your dad’s relationship with Mrs. Turner was not really any of your business. And you kept information about your relationships from you dad, too. We all do it. It’s the human thing to do.”

“I’ve never known daddy to love another woman besides mom. I knew he saw other women, but he never loved them. I suppose we have no choice with whom we fall in love. It just happens.”

“Will you give her the watch?”

Charlie took a deep breath. “Yes, I think I will. I will respect daddy’s love for her.” Charlie stared out into the darkness. “Evan, I have a question.” Not waiting for a reply, she continued, “Why did you deny who I was to your family? Why did you let them believe I was a man? I don’t think you realize how that hurt me. We were best friends.”

Evan sighed and pinched his brow with his fingertips.

“Male stupidity. Cowardice. I know you’re going to think I’m the biggest loser in the world for saying this, but I was afraid if my parents knew who you were they’d drive me away from you.”

“Because I come from humble means?”

“No. Definitely not that,” he stated forcefully. “My parents, especially my mother, has always pressured me and pressured me to marry. It got to the point where I just kept my private life to myself. There were a few times where I made the mistake of mentioning a female friend to them. After that I was continually hounded about getting married, having a family. It never ended. I vowed never to let them know about my female friends again. Then when I met you, you became such a big part of my life. Literally whatever I did, you were there. And of course, I let your name slip. What was I to do? Fess up and tell them who you were? If I did that, I knew what we had together would be ruined. Their constant meddling would drive me away from you. So, I did the logical thing. I let them think you were a guy. It wasn’t hard with a name like Charlie. They never guessed. Pretty gutless, huh?”

She looked up at him, her face serious. “Yep.” Then her face cracked a huge smile. “One thing I’ve learned over the past few months is that we’re all gutless at times, but what makes us stronger is admitting it and moving forward.”

“Charlie, I want you to know that I understand what you were trying to say this afternoon. You were right. There are a lot of other issues that need to be rectified before we can focus on the physical side of our relationship.”

“So, you don’t want to kiss?”

“Hell, yes, I do! Why do you think I was so bent out of shape this afternoon when I arrived? I’d been fantasizing about kissing you for weeks. But I think what I want to do more than anything is just hold you tight against me and fall asleep with you by my side. Remember how I slept with you when I was last here? I’ve missed that so much. In truth, I’ve longed for it, dreamt about it.”

Tenderly, she cupped his cheek. “So have I, Evan.” Her voice choked. “Please hold me tonight.”

****

Charlie opened her eyes, momentarily disoriented. Then she smiled. Evan was here. With her. He was pressed against her, his arm draped over her stomach. Charlie didn’t move for fear of waking him. She wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as she could.

Nothing had happened between them last night. Was she sorry about that? She couldn’t say. Initially, she had wanted something to happen even if it was light kissing and petting. But looking back, it was probably best they hadn’t. They needed to regain and cultivate the emotional closeness they once had. Physical closeness could come later though she longed for it. Everything had it’s time and place.

Evan longed for it to. Last night as they lay there pressed against each other, she could feel his hardness against her buttocks. She’d wanted to roll over and kiss him and touch him, take him in her hand and rub her hand up and down the smooth skin of his shaft. She said nothing and neither did Evan. Instead, they lay there cuddled and talked. Really talked as they had not done in months, perhaps even long before her accident, before they’d become lovers. They talked about his family, mutual friends, his medical practice and articles he’d read in medical journals. The one topic they didn’t talk about was their relationship. They both shied away from it. Perhaps they both instinctively knew it wasn’t time – let them enjoy the here and now, relax, become comfortable with each other once again without the added pressure of figuring out their future.

It could work between them, Charlie thought. They could have a happy life together if only they tried. But if and only if she was sure of Evan’s love. She couldn’t stay married to him without it. Did he love her? He’d never said. But in fairness to Evan, he wasn’t a man to express his feelings in such a manner. He was the type to let his actions speak louder than words and he’d stuck by her through good times and bad. That in itself spoke volumes.

“Thanks, Charlie. If right now is any indication, this is going to be my best birthday in a long, long time. It feels like heaven lying here like this, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. I’ve missed this.”

“Me too. We’ve wasted so much time.”

Charlie couldn’t allow herself to speak, less she say something foolish like telling Evan that she loved him. The time wasn’t right. Let the closeness between them build, let him see what they could have before she told him and scared the living daylights out of him.

Instead, she lay both hands on his cheeks and gently pulled his face down to hers, their lips finally touching after several incredibly long tension filled seconds.

They were both hungry for each other, feverish in their desire – tasting, their tongues dipping into each other’s mouth, dueling. Charlie’s hands had long left Evan’s face and were now running up and down his body. He wore no shirt, only pajama bottoms. He skin was warm and smooth. She longed to kiss every square inch of his body.

“You’ll probably think I’m losing it, but I wanted last night and this morning to be an intimate time for us. Holding each other close and talking, really talking is the best type of intimacy for us right now. That is what we need the most.”

Charlie had prepared to feel the same old hurt at his rejection. Instead, she felt happiness. Happiness that she was finally seeing beyond the obvious. It wasn’t that Evan didn’t want her. He did very much so. She could feel the physical evidence pressed against her thigh. No, he was being tender, romantic. Her heart soared. If he didn’t perhaps love her, care for her, he would take her and find quick release.

Instead, he was wanting the time between them to be special, to build, to be meaningful for both of them. Did he love her? She smiled. Perhaps he did!

Her eyes welled up with tears and she chided herself for being so silly. She willed herself not to speak unless something silly came out, but the words slipped out, seeming to come out of nowhere. “I love you, Evan…” Fearful of his reply, Charlie quickly continued, “…I have a special day planned for you. This is your day.”

***

Evan gazed through the trees to the water, seemingly mesmerized by the beauty that surrounded him.

He turned to look at Charlie, whose face was lit up with a smile of great pleasure, pleasure that she’d surprised him and pleased him.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Whose land is this? We can’t be but a mile or so from the farm?”

Charlie leaned against the four-wheeler they’d ridden to get there. “It’s right at a mile. And all this is ours, Evan. In fact, we have several miles of riverfront property.”

Where they stood was cool despite it being a hot summer’s day. Large oak and cottonwood trees shielded them from the sun. It was quiet and peaceful. All he could hear were birds chirping, the wind blowing by his ears, his breathing.

“I had no idea.”

“I am glad you are surprised. This is part of your special day. I’ve borrowed a Sea Doo from William McGhee. You remember him don’t you? We’re going to spend the day on the river swimming, riding the Sea Doo, perhaps ski or ride the boogie board. William says we can do that, too.”

He looked at the craft, still on its trailer. “How do we get it in the water?”

Charlie pointed just past his shoulder. “There’s a boat ramp there, though you can’t see it from here. Daddy had it built. He used to go fishing a lot.”

The day turned out to be perfect. They swam, rode the Sea Doo, even tried their hand at water skiing though they were in the water more than on the skis.

They were sitting on a blanket in the shade overlooking the river bank, eating lunch. A light breeze blew, gently blowing Charlie’s hair from her face. She watched him as he lay on his back, closing his eyes.

Should she have told him she loved him? He didn’t say anything at the time, except give her a smile that reached all the way to his green eyes. Perhaps the timing was wrong, but it needed to be said none-the-less. For their future, all must be revealed.

“I’ve found it, Evan. Coming up here took me out of the cycle of feeling sorry for myself, feelings of no direction in my life. I’ve learned to focus on the future, not the present and it’s problems. Most importantly I’ve learned that peace and happiness come from within. We are all masters of our own destiny. I’d become so self-absorbed I couldn’t see what I needed to do.”